Life's a fragile thing, Harry.

[Parliament 14260]

One minute you're chewin' on a burger; the next minute you're dead meat.

[Frank The Tank 1497]

She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention. 

[HornOnTheBayou 8922]

The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old-fashioned, romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.

That's a special feeling, Lloyd.

[futureman 22463]

5 hours ago, Parliament said:

 Life's a fragile thing, Harry.

he says “Hare” not “Harry.”  have you even seen the movie?  fucking idiot. 

[burntorangebongos 10710]

“Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself.”

[NorthLoop 14204]

We landed on the moon!!

[hobbes2702 13033]

DOGS, to the layperson.

[Rimbo 25936]

so you're saying there's a chance?

[Bama Llama 1450]

That’s as good as money. Every cent’s accounted for. These are IOUs. Better hang on to that one - $275,000 for the car!

[South Austin 52506]

[kurioster 66]

they're driving an 84.....Sheepdog

[Al_4_ISU 12463]

8 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

That John Denver’s full of shit, man!

Here, maybe you should wear these extra gloves.  My hands are getting kinda sweaty.

Yeah, we're in the Rockies.

 

Edited July 6, 2023 by Al_4_ISU

[Biff Tannen 45685]

I got worms!

[WBT 20572]

Skis huh?  They yours?

 

Both of 'em?

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

the elderly, while slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose!

[South Austin 52506]

14 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

the elderly, while slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose!

Don't you go dying on me!

[HonkeyVape 107]

Pfffftttttt...10 oclock in the mornin'!!

[Incredulity 11671]

Freda Felcher?  From Cranston?

[4th&Five 41552]

Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?

[Teebox 89]

Husband??  What was all that one-in-a-million talk? 

[Gene Parmesan 4007]

I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.

[Biff Tannen 45685]

Pills are good!

[Al_4_ISU 12463]

You sold my headless parakeet to a blind kid?

Harry; I took care of it.

[threesheets 1673]

Killer boots man!

[WBT 20572]

Not bad, fell off the jetway again

[Herpa Derpa 6126]

He must work out.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

I like it a lot

[deft 6849]

I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.

Lobby bar, right there in the lobby

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Make it four boilermakers

[Beau Vine 54230]

According to the map, we've only gone about four inches.

[Al_4_ISU 12463]

FOOT LONG!  WHO GOT THE FOOT LONG!

[Bender Bending Rodriguez 1678]

I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy!

[Sawbonz 27562]

I almost pissed my pants in the theater 

that crow hop

[Incredulity 11671]

Kick his ass, Sea Bass!!!

[deft 6849]

Hmm that John Denver’s full of shit man.

[BigDHornfan 6548]

Goodbye my loooooooove!!

[deft 6849]

No, the best part is the catch with them a half mile down the road and slight their throats. Yeah, it was a good one.

[Blotto 23511]

 

[South Austin 52506]

I was just . . . shaving!

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

Good timing.  30 min ago got these two texts from my brothers on our little group text chain.  
 

Bro 1 

Quote

Panicked for a moment because I thought i had a Dumb and Dumber moment. Taking a brutal dump at an office that don't frequent often and felt as though a courtesy flush was warranted. I reach behind and press the lever and ... nothing. So I rapidly press again and again. Nothing. 

Sweat begins to bead up -- partly due to panic, partly due to overwhelming stench. Finally - engagement. For some reason these's a 2-second delay in button pressing and flush. Strange engineering. 

Bro 2

Quote

Wow.  "I'M SHAVING!"