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Posted (edited)

https://www.propublica.org/article/penis-enlargement-enhancement-procedures-implants

It's a really long read.  No pun.  And yeah, I'll say it again---there's no way in hell.

 

How a doctor’s two-decade quest to grow the penis is leaving some men desperate and disfigured.
 

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They wanted it because they’d just gone through a bad breakup and needed an edge in the volatile dating market; because porn had warped their sense of scale; because they’d been in a car accident, or were looking to fix a curve, or were hoping for a little “soft­ware upgrade”; because they were not having a midlife crisis; because they were, “and it was cheaper than a Bugatti Veyron”; because, after five kids, their wife couldn’t feel them anymore; because they’d been molested as a child and still remembered the laughter of the adults in the room; because they couldn’t forget a passing comment their spouse made in 1975; because, despite the objections of their couples therapist, they believed it would bring them closer to their “sex ­obsessed” husband (who then had an affair that precipitated their divorce); because they’d stopped changing in locker rooms, stopped peeing in urinals, stopped having sex; be­cause who wouldn’t want it?

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Mick (his middle name) wanted a bigger penis because he believed it would allow him to look in the mirror and feel satisfied. He had trouble imagining what shape the satisfaction would take, since it was something he’d never actually experienced. Small and dark haired, he’d found his adolescence to be a gantlet of humiliating comparisons: to classmates who were blond and blue-­eyed; to his half brothers, who were older and taller and heterosexual; to the hirsute men in his stepfather’s Hasidic community, who wore big beards and billowing frock coats. After he reached puberty — late, in his estimation — he grew an impressive beard of his own, and his feelings of inadequacy concentrated on his genitals.

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None of Mick’s romantic partners ever commented on his size, but his preoccupation had a way of short-circuiting the mood. He tried several kinds of self-acceptance therapy, without success; whenever he went to the bathroom, there it was, mocking him. “Like an evil root,” he said of the fixation. “It gets in there and grows like a tree. But I think everybody has that on some level about something.”

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Edited by Francisco 2.0
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Posted
  On 7/7/2023 at 4:37 PM, Francisco 2.0 said:

The research showed that men dissatisfied with their penises respond well to educational counseling about the aver­age size, which is 3.6 inches long when flaccid, and 5.2 inches erect.

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They are telling these guys that 5.2 inches erect is “average”?  I get trying to make guys with small dicks feel like they are “average” but don’t lie to them when they can walk into any locker room and see that 5 inches is small  

Come On Biden GIF by GIPHY News

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Posted (edited)

I feel like actually having penis surgery is the most small dick energy thing someone could possibly do.

 

And how does one have a consistent flaccid measurement?  Maybe I'm a mutant, but it can range wildly even while soft.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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Posted

Jesus Christ that’s sad. I’m only a shade under 10 inches long when fully torqued. Nothing to write home about but it works for me because there’s way more chicks look for in bed than just having a big dick.

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Posted
  On 7/7/2023 at 6:01 PM, Helobious said:

I’m only a shade under 10 inches long when fully torqued.

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Stop trying to fool A-Rod into fucking you. He’s not falling for it, and he only fucks guys who actually have 10 inches. 

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Posted
  On 7/7/2023 at 5:56 PM, Al_4_ISU said:

And how does one have a consistent flaccid measurement?  Maybe I'm a mutant, but it can range wildly even while soft.

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There’s an ISO standard for the environmental conditions under which you take measurements. 

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Posted
  On 7/7/2023 at 5:56 PM, Al_4_ISU said:

I feel like actually having penis surgery is the most small dick energy thing someone could possibly do.

 

And how does one have a consistent flaccid measurement?  Maybe I'm a mutant, but it can range wildly even while soft.

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If someone measured me flaccid after a 10 mile run I'd be George Costanza after the pool but smaller. The thing almost fucking disappears. 

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Posted
  On 7/7/2023 at 8:51 PM, mdmost said:

Just follow Mickey Mantle's advice and go out with a chick with small hands. 

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i feel like if you start at the taint, and then wrap it up your back and over your shoulder to the tip of the penis, gives a nice result

Posted (edited)
  On 7/7/2023 at 9:02 PM, Matuka said:

"Run Wang, a Penuma board member..."

 

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As sad as this article was, I laughed when this guy appeared in the article.

I was like: Jake Gyllenhaal Reaction GIF

Who else is on the board?

Walker Dong?

Skip Johnson?

😄

Edited by Dnaguy
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Posted
  On 7/7/2023 at 4:48 PM, atomheartbevo said:

They are telling these guys that 5.2 inches erect is “average”?  I get trying to make guys with small dicks feel like they are “average” but don’t lie to them when they can walk into any locker room and see that 5 inches is small  

Come On Biden GIF by GIPHY News

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asia GIF

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Posted
  On 7/7/2023 at 4:37 PM, Francisco 2.0 said:

The surgeon clicked open a briefcase containing three translucent sheaths: Large, Extra Large and Extra Extra Large

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Fucking hilarious.  It’s as bad as Starbucks with the naming nomenclature.  As if anyone willing to undergo this surgery would select any option besides the largest?

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Posted
  On 7/8/2023 at 1:18 AM, Zepol87 said:

I can't imagine wanting to do this, what a bunch of losers. This is pretty sad

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I wish we could get the whole story on these winners.  Hairy backed 5’7’’ guy that bags groceries and still lives with mom…’the small dick is killing me’.  

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Posted
  On 7/7/2023 at 8:54 PM, 'stache said:
If someone measured me flaccid after a 10 mile run I'd be George Costanza after the pool but smaller. The thing almost fucking disappears. 

I cross country ski in Iowa winters. You can imagine the effect. I resemble your remark
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Posted

Those poor misguided men.

Newsflash - when it comes to penis size, average is good!

As long as a man knows what he’s doing, an average size is preferable.

It’s the extremes - on both ends - that aren’t great.

The issues with a micro penis are obvious.

And a gigantic schlong? No bueno.

Large girth and length are both painful and unenjoyable.

I don’t want to get a bruised cervix. And I definitely don’t want to feel like I’m getting an episiotomy while having sex.

If these men watched some porn made for women and took some notes, we’d all be better off!

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Posted
  On 7/8/2023 at 3:10 PM, Bama Chick said:

Those poor misguided men.

Newsflash - when it comes to penis size, average is good!

As long as a man knows what he’s doing, an average size is preferable.

It’s the extremes - on both ends - that aren’t great.

The issues with a micro penis are obvious.

And a gigantic schlong? No bueno.

Large girth and length are both painful and unenjoyable.

I don’t want to get a bruised cervix. And I definitely don’t want to feel like I’m getting an episiotomy while having sex.

If these men watched some porn made for women and took some notes, we’d all be better off!

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So small is bad, big is bad, and medium also can be bad if the guy is a fucking amateur. 
 

 

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