Dyin - your mortal remains

[Elvis 3371]

I thought about putting it in the “help” forum, but probably funnier here. 
 

I’ve taken a liking to the idea of donating my body to science when I croak. 
 

Anyone looked into this?

Do they cremate you later or what?

 

I guess they don’t embalm you, so no stinky corpse in a box for the after party?

Ive always hoped for a weekend at Bernie’s situation. 
 

Thoughts?

Edited July 8, 2023 by Elvis

[DalTxHornFan 3097]

11 minutes ago, Elvis said:

I thought about putting it in the “help” forum, but probably funnier here. 
 

I’ve taken a liking to the idea of donating my body to science when I croak. 
 

Anyone looked into this?

Do they cremate you later or what?

 

I guess they don’t embalm you, so no stinky corpse in a box for the after party?

Ive always hoped for a weekend at Bernie’s situation. 
 

Thoughts?

Good night and good luck.

Special Report - A business where human bodies were butchered, packaged and sold

https://www.reuters.com/article/uk-usa-bodies-business-specialreport-idINKBN1EL0ZA

[tfoolry 8201]

My body would likely also end up as a crash test dummy.  

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/bodies-donated-to-science-largely-unregulated-cbs-reports/

 

 

 

[Elvis 3371]

Ok. That body parts link is totally new information.  I thought hot nurses from Greys anatomy would admire my penis.  
 

Need to rethink this. 

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

I'm doing this

 

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/freeman-ranch-body-farm

 

 

[nineliveslost 2753]

wife wants this 

 

Scattering ashes in fireworks - Heavenly Stars Fireworks

[Pato del Muerto 52485]

23 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

I'm doing this

 

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/freeman-ranch-body-farm

 

 

Was going to mention this. Surl is fast with any and all things- especially the macabre. 

[Elvis 3371]

Thirty five hundred dollars for a torso?

 

might need to look into this biz. 
 

 

[Marfa Low Crown 2546]

 

 

59 minutes ago, Elvis said:

Thirty five hundred dollars for a torso?

 

might need to look into this biz. 
 

 

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't want to know about it believe me. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21052]

2 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

I'm doing this

 

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/freeman-ranch-body-farm

 

 

Forensic Anthropology Research Facility (FARF)

"Testing" was right fucking there. 

Edited July 8, 2023 by Prepuce of Doom

[Hate 20106]

I really want a Viking funeral where my corpse gets pushed into the middle of Lake Buchanan and someone launches an arrow that sets my raft on fire. 

[GoPokes83 2240]

I really want a Viking funeral where my corpse gets pushed into the middle of Lake Buchanan and someone launches an arrow that sets my raft on fire. 

Might be a lot easier to get done if you just have someone push your raft into the Rio Grande with a couple of lit firecrackers and let the DPS light it on fire with one of these bad boys!

[66BUFF 2562]

12 hours ago, Elvis said:

I thought about putting it in the “help” forum, but probably funnier here. 
 

I’ve taken a liking to the idea of donating my body to science when I croak. 
 

Anyone looked into this?

Do they cremate you later or what?

 

I guess they don’t embalm you, so no stinky corpse in a box for the after party?

Ive always hoped for a weekend at Bernie’s situation. 
 

Thoughts?

• Frank Reynolds : [overheard by children and their parents on a mic system]  I got a question about you morticians. You bang the dead bodies? I imagine stuff like that goes on all the time. I mean, I don't give a shit. If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead! Oh shit! Is my mic on?

[bmbmd 1027]

I worked as a prosector when I was in school. I dealt with all the people who “donated their body to science”.   The vast majority are used for student dissection, a few are used as demonstrations.  After the process is completed, the remains are cremated and returned to the family.  If nobody claims them, at least at my school, the ashes were spread in the rookery across the parking lot.  (Right next to the tennis courts)

[RPM 26315]

15 hours ago, Elvis said:

I thought about putting it in the “help” forum, but probably funnier here. 
 

I’ve taken a liking to the idea of donating my body to science when I croak. 
 

Anyone looked into this?

Do they cremate you later or what?

 

I guess they don’t embalm you, so no stinky corpse in a box for the after party?

Ive always hoped for a weekend at Bernie’s situation. 
 

Thoughts?

Seriously, my older step sister donated her body to science. She had a particularly vicious form of bone cancer. Hopefully she's saved others from suffering.

[Kennythetiger 9374]

15 hours ago, nineliveslost said:

wife wants this 

 

Scattering ashes in fireworks - Heavenly Stars Fireworks

If my wife goes before me, I am discreetly spreading her ashes in the aisles of a Wal-Mart store.  I don’t think either she or her mom have ever driven past our local goddamn Wal-Mart without needing to stop and get something there. They fucking love that place. 

[tx ind 7006]

Always been fascinated by burial at sea.

[Chad Fuck 17658]

Surl, you're slacking.

[Surly Bevo 24908]

13 hours ago, Hate said:

I really want a Viking funeral where my corpse gets pushed into the middle of Lake Buchanan and someone launches an arrow that sets my raft on fire. 

You live long enough they will have to tow you out across the dry lakebed on the back of a 4 wheeler.

[RPM 26315]

1 hour ago, tx ind said:

Always been fascinated by burial at sea.

I have a phobia about it. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21872]

3 hours ago, tx ind said:

Always been fascinated by burial at sea.

Last I heard that costs $250K

[SA-KC_Horn 1295]

4 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:

Surl, you're slacking.

[Kennythetiger 9374]

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Last I heard that costs $250K

That’s really low. I am disappointed that you would sink to such depths. 

[ABSR 5308]

On 7/7/2023 at 11:50 PM, Hate said:

I really want a Viking funeral where my corpse gets pushed into the middle of Lake Buchanan and someone launches an arrow that sets my raft on fire. 

I got a buddy in the industry says he use to do something like that.  Just put the bodies in town lake if he got backed up.  He says he stopped that recently.

[RPM 26315]

I always thought Hunter S. Thompson went out in style.

[markstanco 12570]

Doesn’t matter what you want, the living person paying the bill gets the final decision.

[Dbeasy 15040]

These explicit instructions have already been relayed to my descendants. 
 

[Elvis 3371]

If I have an open casket, maybe put me in a game day suit and tie plus a my old football helmet with a lit Marlboro light. 
 

My dads funeral in January. He looked great in his West Texas Rodeo Hall of fame shirt brush popper style shirt.
 

His boots were incorporated into the floral spray on the open casket. We kept the boots and my son was a Paul bearer wearing his Black beaver Resistol that matched mine. We’re proud of all that.  

Edited July 9, 2023 by Elvis

[Tylerocks 2553]

Do you even Human Compost?

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/human-composting-natural-burial-vs-cremation-or-embalming/

I'd be down with something like this..IF I don't do the "body farm" thing

There is another service kind of thing where they put your ashes in with soil/tree and the family plants you/the tree somewhere.

That's kind of cool too.

[Longhorn_Fan68 33859]

 

 

[OrangEngr 1035]

7 hours ago, Elvis said:

If I have an open casket, maybe put me in a game day suit and tie plus a my old football helmet with a lit Marlboro light. 
 

My dads funeral in January. He looked great in his West Texas Rodeo Hall of fame shirt brush popper style shirt.
 

His boots were incorporated into the floral spray on the open casket. We kept the boots and my son was a Paul bearer wearing his Black beaver Resistol that matched mine. We’re proud of all that.  

RIP to your pops

['stache 21792]

I'll never understand our species' need to preserve human remains after death. Why preserve a body, put it in an expensive box, just to bury it and have them take up real estate, with a stone. None of us are that effing important. Treat me like Frank Reynolds, just throw me in the trash or something. More seriously, I've let it be known I do not want any of that, probably cremation and spread me somewhere special to rejoin the dirt. The tree option sounds kinda cool too.

[Dbeasy 15040]

Dp

Edited July 13, 2023 by Dbeasy

[seven 1367]

Vegas odds have me dead within the next 5 years so this issue has been in the front of my mind. I have relayed my wishes to be burnt up and returned to the earth. A small amount to be sprinkled on the dog graveyard at my dad's hobby farm. Half to my mom, half to my dad. They can spread them wherever they choose. My mom lives on the coast in the sea of Cortez and will be dumping them in the ocean. 

[South Austin 52443]

3 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

My wife has been informed to perform the following service for me in Hawaii:

Make sure she mentions Vietnam in your eulogy.

[Wally Fairway 5539]

with probably 25,000+ posts on various message boards; I say cremate me, I need to get used to the heat - and take the ashes and throw them anywhere you want, because it won't matter to me.

[DigglerontheHoof 21174]

[The Ace of Aces 5175]

On 7/8/2023 at 1:59 PM, tx ind said:

Always been fascinated by burial at sea.

When I was ~10 my family and I were on an Alaskan cruise. One night before dinner I was wandering around with my dad and we went to the aft to watch for whales. A deck below was a woman in black, the captain, and some other people who I assume were family. She held an urn. 

She opened it up and threw it overboard … unfortunately for her the ship was barely moving and it was windy and well the husband blew back on deck and all over her. 

My dad had to explain to me what was happening and he couldn’t do so without laughing. It was amazing. 

Now they have disposable urns. 

[tx ind 7006]

[Sbbruin 21829]

6 minutes ago, tx ind said:

Goodnight, Sweet Prince.

[Sbbruin 21829]

I’ve told my wife to tie an anchor to me and throw me over.  No cremation, as I can feed the sea and join the circle of life.  I just ask that she waits until I’m actually dead.  

[Scheiss Meister 8407]

I want to be cremated and sprinkled at the base of one of the oak trees on my place.  No other marker needed.  As I read once, "Now let the wind close in over me, and my place know me no more forever."

[YGIFS 19449]

10 hours ago, South Austin said:

Make sure she mentions Vietnam in your eulogy.

Dammit man, Not everything has to relate back to Vietnam!  Okay?

my father really wanted a Viking funeral.  A handful of us to take his body to a remote Musky lake in central Ontario; Dryberry Lake.  He had the wooden raft and launch spot selected.  My brother, a decorated bow Hunter, would do the final honors.  But he died years before his parents.  They got the  spot next to theirs at the family cemetery outside Chicago.  We couldn’t possibly tell them they couldn’t do their traditional Lutheran burial of their first born child.  So we scrapped the idea and never spoke of it again. They’re dead now too, but there’s nothing left of my dad in that box to set On fire.  So it goes.  
 

I’ve had a hard time codifying my final burial wishes.  Some kinda weird wrinkle in the system.  First-take out whatever organs you need to help somebody else.  Second; I’d like the rest of me To go to science.  Yeah some organs may be missing, but there’s still a lot to learn about all the other stuff in there.  And then when they’re done with it at med school, I want it returned for cremation and the remains given to my children.  But you’d be surprised how hard that is to get done in that order.  I don’t get it. It’s just the ashes, not some prodded up, chemical smelling corpse dropped off in your garage freezer.  
 

wife, kids, grandkids.  They can do whatever they want with the ashes.  Spread ‘em wherever makes them smile for a moment.  Only Caveats are don’t spend a lot of money to do it unless you make a vacation out of it.  Like don’t fly to Hawaii to spread them and sit in the hotel until your flight home   Second is—-you gotta spread them within one year   If you don’t, it becomes Ten years; and you’re that weird lady with her dad’s ashes in her foyer everytime the doorbell rings   Don’t be that lady, be you   

 

[GoPokes83 2240]

Decorated bow hunter? Isn’t that called camouflage, or are we talking a John Rambo situation? I just want whatever’s least traumatic for my kid during her time of need and grief. If she needs me in the ground with a rock with my name on it to come visit a couple of times a year until she emotionally moves on and she somehow gets whatever comfort she can from that then so be it. It’s such a threadbare phrase, but in reality I quite literally could not care less what happens to my body once I’m done with it. I’m a true believer, and know where I’ll be. Funerals are for those left behind to come to terms with the fact that their time is coming. No body farm though, fuck that.

[irishtexan 11511]

I've briefly looked into this place, but this is something I think I want to do. Don't embalm me. Just throw me in the ground for the worms to eat and turn me into dirt. Plant a tree on top of me if you want. 

https://www.eloisewoods.com/

[YGIFS 19449]

5 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Decorated bow hunter? Isn’t that called camouflage, or are we talking a John Rambo situation? I just want whatever’s least traumatic for my kid during her time of need and grief. If she needs me in the ground with a rock with my name on it to come visit a couple of times a year until she emotionally moves on and she somehow gets whatever comfort she can from that then so be it. It’s such a threadbare phrase, but in reality I quite literally could not care less what happens to my body once I’m done with it. I’m a true believer, and know where I’ll be. Funerals are for those left behind to come to terms with the fact that their time is coming. No body farm though, fuck that.

What's a body farm?  My wife's family are the kinda Catholics that believe you can't cremate a body, otherwise it can't ascend to heaven (apparently Saint Peter personally checks all body cavities for all organs and glands).  But they all live in a place where land is abundant and cheap (Western Kansas).  There is a big movement afoot in the Church to encourage cremation to save land, so long as the remains are interred in a proper Catholic mausoleum. 

Decorated bow hunter just means he's won lots of awards and competitions and been written up in magazines, that's all.  Point is he probably would have nailed the shot.  Whereas any of the rest of us would be laughing picturing my dad watching us fumble with the bow and torch, with a lucky strike dangling from his lips, "Whenever you're ready ladies...I've got the whole of eternity to wait apparently."  

As you say, it's a balance between your final wishes and whatever is gonna make it easier for your loved ones to grieve and move on.  I've been to some really original and beautiful "send-offs", but I could tell it was a pain in the ass in that final week for the family to put that kinda thing together in a tough time.  We've all also been to that funeral of somebody who was 100, dying for 20 years, family had ample time to plan, and suddenly they're shocked they have to do something with the body at the last minute.  I just want to be stripped of parts and cremated.  Thankfully, the state takes care of the first part (only time I'll ever say that in my lifetime), and cremation is set in writing.  Tricky part is I don't mind if a med school wants to probe around for a few days before they torch me.  But they gotta make sure they burn the right cadaver and give the urn to my family.  And the urn can't cost more than $100.  And after they spread my ashes within one year at a place(s) of their choosing, they have to have the urn melted down and made into drink coasters.  BECAUSE I RESPECT WOOD!

[beer 3220]

On 7/9/2023 at 3:36 PM, Elvis said:

If I have an open casket, maybe put me in a game day suit and tie plus a my old football helmet with a lit Marlboro light. 
 

My dads funeral in January. He looked great in his West Texas Rodeo Hall of fame shirt brush popper style shirt.
 

His boots were incorporated into the floral spray on the open casket. We kept the boots and my son was a Paul bearer wearing his Black beaver Resistol that matched mine. We’re proud of all that.  

New user name detected:  Bearer, Paul

[baboso 6054]

A body farm is where they put dead folks out and study decomposition rates, etc.  

https://www.txst.edu/anthropology/facts/labs/farf.html

 

[YGIFS 19449]

Aw yes, I remember hearing from some law enforcement official that Texas State had one of the larger ones in the country.  They use it for forensic pathology and all that.  Makes sense.  Yeah again, I could give a shit.  But were I to go early, I don't really like the idea of my wife having to tell my daughters on the weekend, "No, we're not going to see Dad's body in San Marcos.  How about ice cream instead?"  I'm guessing one look is enough to scar a child for a few decades.  I'm guessing the summer session out there is particularly ripe.  

[nnm 36338]