The Things Olds Do

[Gil Bang 25922]

better than giving money to the moonies

[CooterBrown 18004]

My Mom had a storage unit with all her teaching materials well after retirement. She thought someone might want it. No idea who, but somebody might.

We threw it all away a month after she passed.

My MIL retired from teaching at ACC and has every quiz and test ever turned in because ACC requires she keep it in case someone complains about a quiz grade from 1996. The garage is just wall to wall piles of paper.

The day she kicks it, we will start filling up a dumpster. Won’t look at shit. It’s all getting trashed.

[CycleTex87 2967]

I was cleaning out a corner of a closet yesterday afternoon, opened an old leather satchel I used to use, and found all my old expense reports from five companies and 25 years ago. 

I feel like I’m becoming an old. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

My brother is 14 years older than me, and is in very poor health.  He's thrice divorced with no kids so I'll have to be the one to handle his affairs when he either can't do it anymore or has passed away. I asked him to put together a list of all his banking stuff etc. He gives me a list with account numbers, passwords etc. 
Me- I would need your username, what is it? 
Him- what's that? 
Me- Don't you do some banking online? 
Him- yes
Me- So how to you log on? 
Him- I call the number and enter my account number and it gives me my balance and stuff like that. 
Me- that started in the late 80s
Him- yeah I don't trust that computer stuff
 
 

Hell of a lot easier doing that than remembering your ID and/or password for whatever card you no longer use since this is for a different card but same bank.

[GoPokes83 2240]

My mom nagged one of my cousins for months to help with her Ipad/PC/Router issues. He saw how much work it was and told her he'd have to charge her, which she was fine with.
That was 5 years ago and she still complains weekly about something he "must have broke" or "fixed wrong". If she can't find one of your old emails or she replies to the wrong person? He "messed up my email program".

Was this some year long project that took time away from his real job? If he had to purchase a new iPad or router then have her pay him back, but who TF charges their family to give them a hand with something?

[conVINCEd 21469]

6 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

My MIL retired from teaching at ACC and has every quiz and test ever turned in because ACC requires she keep it in case someone complains about a quiz grade from 1996. The garage is just wall to wall piles of paper.

The day she kicks it, we will start filling up a dumpster. Won’t look at shit. It’s all getting trashed.

Dad has filing cabinets that span the length of one side of the garage.  I was curious one day when I was over there, so I opened one of the drawers and there were bank statements from before I was born.  I’m 48.

[thunderlounge 7815]

9 hours ago, Armybrat said:

I just bought a CZ.

so there

And what are you going to do with that man made cubic zirconia rock from HSN?

#GiveItToTheVegans

[Armybrat 40826]

10 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

better than giving money to the moonies

That’s kinda interesting thing I’ve seen for years on gun boards. 
Some of those guys diss the Kahn brand because of Justin Moon’s crackpot religion, yet they’ll slobber over owning nazi & commie made guns.

Go figure. 😀
 

[Armybrat 40826]

1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

Dad has filing cabinets that span the length of one side of the garage.  I was curious one day when I was over there, so I opened one of the drawers and there were bank statements from before I was born.  I’m 48.

Ours is full of the kids’ elementary school drawings and crap like that.

[Slacks 6819]

My grandmother passed away Sunday morning in her sleep. 93. Double cancer survivor. 

I'm cool with it because she was cool with it. 

[rage-a-holic 4382]

2 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Was this some year long project that took time away from his real job? If he had to purchase a new iPad or router then have her pay him back, but who TF charges their family to give them a hand with something?

My cousin was working for a tech support/PC repair company at the time. He told her he would need to charge her if it took more than a few hours, which she agreed to.

Do you demand that your sister fucking mechanic cousins fix your Chevy Luv for free? Or do you pay them in crank and BJs, as per oklahoma law?

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

2 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Was this some year long project that took time away from his real job? If he had to purchase a new iPad or router then have her pay him back, but who TF charges their family to give them a hand with something?

my BIL is a master electrician.  He charged me to install a whole home surge protector.

[TrashMaster G 17551]

12 hours ago, dcbc said:

Today, we had to troubleshoot my mom's computer/monitor connection, neither of which she no longer can operate on her own.  We had every weird VGA to digital adapter known to man in a bag with all of our other semi obsolete cables we'll never use again, but it damn sure helped us troubleshoot the issue to the point of just buying her a new monitor, which will somehow be the source of frustration in a week or so.  But like Borat, I LOVE her.

You love Borat?

Weird.

[Prepuce of Doom 21056]

2 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

You love Borat?

Weird.

You may think their relationship is weird, but I think it's Very Nice. 

[ABSR 5308]

5 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Dad has filing cabinets that span the length of one side of the garage.  I was curious one day when I was over there, so I opened one of the drawers and there were bank statements from before I was born.  I’m 48.

My inlaws have a full basement under the house.  My FIL has a work room with great tools and a desk set up, desktop computer etc (It is where he always hid from crazy wife/MIL).  He has a Lathe in the basement to give an idea of the type of tools.

However, most of the basement is row after row of industrial metal shelving that stacks 4 high all the way to the 10 foot ceiling.  It is packed with boxes of records and other stuff.  My MIL has also filled another bedroom or two with boxes etc.  She told my wife that she hid money in different books and files.   What is it?  Well my MIL's uncle Sol had an accounting business in the early 1900's so it is all his records, and ......   

By "hiding money" she means she put a $5 bill or $10 bill in something every so often.  My guess is at least $200 scattered about.   All of which any one of you can pull from the industrial dumpster we are going to drop everything into when she is gone.

[Armybrat 40826]

3 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

my BIL is a master electrician.  He charged me to install a whole home surge protector.

My middle brother’s son in law - an Okie grad - had two extra tickets to the Texas/OU game about 15 years ago. My oldest brother  needed 2 tickets, so “nephew” in law offered to sell his to him at scalper’s prices ($250 or $300 each, IIRC).

[Armybrat 40826]

3 hours ago, Armybrat said:

That’s kinda interesting thing I’ve seen for years on gun boards. 
Some of those guys diss the Kahn brand because of Justin Moon’s crackpot religion, yet they’ll slobber over owning nazi & commie made guns.

Go figure. 😀
 

*Kahr brand (goddam autocorrect)

Edited July 24, 2023 by Armybrat

[conVINCEd 21469]

31 minutes ago, ABSR said:

My inlaws have a full basement under the house.  My FIL has a work room with great tools and a desk set up, desktop computer etc (It is where he always hid from crazy wife/MIL).  He has a Lathe in the basement to give an idea of the type of tools.

However, most of the basement is row after row of industrial metal shelving that stacks 4 high all the way to the 10 foot ceiling.  It is packed with boxes of records and other stuff.  My MIL has also filled another bedroom or two with boxes etc.  She told my wife that she hid money in different books and files.   What is it?  Well my MIL's uncle Sol had an accounting business in the early 1900's so it is all his records, and ......   

By "hiding money" she means she put a $5 bill or $10 bill in something every so often.  My guess is at least $200 scattered about.   All of which any one of you can pull from the industrial dumpster we are going to drop everything into when she is gone.

We had to go clean out my great aunt’s house when she died and found $15k scattered throughout the house.  Got curious, so my uncle ran to the nearest place he could find a metal detector.  We found another $10k buried in the yard.  Woman lived through the depression and didn’t trust banks.

[former alkie 72]

3 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

my BIL is a master electrician.  He charged me to install a whole home surge protector.

IMHO, your BIL is an SOB

[TrashMaster G 17551]

1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

My middle brother’s son in law - an Okie grad - had two extra tickets to the Texas/OU game about 15 years ago. My oldest brother  needed 2 tickets, so “nephew” in law offered to sell his to him at scalper’s prices ($250 or $300 each, IIRC).

What a douchebag

[Beau Vine 54209]

On 7/19/2023 at 5:52 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

My Mom had a storage unit with all her teaching materials well after retirement. She thought someone might want it. No idea who, but somebody might.

We threw it all away a month after she passed.

My wife had all that shit in our attic.  When we moved 4 years ago, I threw it all away without asking her, because "There's no point in saving it for someone else if you never actually give it to someone else?"

[Armybrat 40826]

1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

What a douchebag

Well yeah, he is an okie. 
My brother just put him on his “non-person list” after that little episode.

[dcbc 14465]

On 7/24/2023 at 9:51 AM, TrashMaster G said:

You love Borat?

Weird.

Like Borat loves his mother, I should have said.

 

 

[Pig Bellmont 8712]

On 7/24/2023 at 1:21 AM, CooterBrown said:

My MIL retired from teaching at ACC and has every quiz and test ever turned in because ACC requires she keep it in case someone complains about a quiz grade from 1996. The garage is just wall to wall piles of paper.

The day she kicks it, we will start filling up a dumpster. Won’t look at shit. It’s all getting trashed.

Whatre the consequences for noncompliance? Surely they can’t take away her retirement benefits for not having a test from 35 years ago 

[CycleTex87 2967]

but, I got #3 right on that French 101 test in 1992!  Should have brought my average up to 70.1%!!!

[CooterBrown 18004]

9 minutes ago, Pig Bellmont said:

Whatre the consequences for noncompliance? Surely they can’t take away her retirement benefits for not having a test from 35 years ago 

I think the actual ACC rule is 10 years but hoarders are gonna hoard.

 

[Eljefeweizen 34]

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

I think the actual ACC rule is 10 years but hoarders are gonna hoard.

 

Kids can appeal grades for 90 days. I always interpreted that to mean throw away all their shit after the following semester.

[Longhorn_Fan68 33867]

On 7/24/2023 at 12:21 AM, CooterBrown said:

My MIL retired from teaching at ACC and has every quiz and test ever turned in because ACC requires she keep it in case someone complains about a quiz grade from 1996. The garage is just wall to wall piles of paper.

The day she kicks it, we will start filling up a dumpster. Won’t look at shit. It’s all getting trashed.

not to pick nits, but you should have it shredded - there's likely a lot of ss #'s in that pile. you won't have to do shit but call the company and they'll bring a truck out and do it for you.

[Chad Fuck 17661]

I've made it a habit the last year or so to spend at least an hour going very systematically through my parents stuff when I go to visit them.  So far I've taken about half a ton of books to Half Price or donated to the local library book sale.  I'm going through each room, bookshelf by bookshelf.  They have an outbuilding with a bunch of shit in it, and the garage is half full of straight nothings.  But those get worked on in the summer, so those are slow going.

My Dad has three file cabinets.  Last time I was out there I found "grade incentives" where he had taken my report cards from elementary school and written how much he had given me for each "A", "B" etc.  Also tons of bank stuff from the 70s and 80s.  So I'll start chucking that stuff pretty soon as well.  

My grandfather had a 16 ga. Mossberg shotgun that belonged to my uncle.  When my uncle died, ages ago, it wound up at my parents.  My Dad took it to a gunsmith to have it worked on.  As is his want, he didn't follow up and it probably sat in the gunsmiths shop for a year, maybe two.  The gunsmith died.  His wife told my Dad to come get the pieces.  He tried to parse out what was his from among hundreds of pieces.  Eventually he told me that he never could find the stock.  I figured I could have another made.  On Saturday I found the stock - lost for probably 10 years at this point - in a junk corner of his office.  

Anyhow, I'm cleaning all their shit out now a bit at a time so I don't have to do it all at once later. 

[Brothahorn 10087]

My mom is a stalker. She will call me and keep calling until I answer the phone. One Saturday she called me 11x in 3 hours. And she always leaves the same message, "You could answer your damn phone." But when I call her back, she can't remember what she wanted!

 

And it doesn't  matter if I'm at work or on my death bed, if I say I need to go her response is " There was something else I needed to tell you but I can't remember." Which extends the conversation to 5-10 more minutes.

 

Quote

Also tons of bank stuff from the 70s and 80s.

Oh yeah, we got the old bank statements and canceled checks from the early 2000s, hell probably some from when I was in school(early 90's). And it's always the same thing. "I need to go through that stuff, so I can burn it."

Edited July 26, 2023 by Brothahorn

[GoPokes83 2240]

My cousin was working for a tech support/PC repair company at the time. He told her he would need to charge her if it took more than a few hours, which she agreed to.
Do you demand that your sister fucking mechanic cousins fix your Chevy Luv for free? Or do you pay them in crank and BJs, as per oklahoma law?

Nope, but then again my relatives don’t need to take money from an elderly woman in need of a skill they possess and use every day. When I owned my construction company I had my guys design and add a large bathroom addition to one of the family matriarch’s houses when they went into a need for a full handicap bath . It didn’t occur to me for a second to make a profit from her situation, I was glad to have the ability to help. I gladly ate 100% of the labor, and when she insisted she pay for the materials I charged her maybe 20% of what they were because the old woman had no idea what shit cost. Your asshole help desk cousin didn’t NEED to charge his aunt, he chose to. Whether she had the ability or willingness to pay is completely irrelevant. Is taking advantage of elderly family members a thing wherever the fuck you’re from?

[GoPokes83 2240]

my BIL is a master electrician.  He charged me to install a whole home surge protector.

Full price? Then hire someone else in case shit breaks down the road.

[Lidig8r 1870]

On 7/18/2023 at 5:26 PM, Chewbacca said:

My 83 year old dad was lamenting the fact that nobody writes in cursive today.  When pressed why that is important, he did not have an answer.  But he was sure it is important.  

Cursive has become our (I'm an almost OLD, but since I act incredibly immature most of the time, that helps keep me young... well, that and porn). Anyhoo.... cursive had begun to become our secret code. Younglings couldn't decipher it. It was greatness.

But now?

Cursive is coming back. Why? Because some teachers are requiring their students to take tests in class, using pen and paper. Cell phones are in cubbies. 

[Pokoloco 1279]

On 7/15/2023 at 2:55 PM, mchookem said:

wtf with old pople and their refrigerators?? every visit to both my parents as well as my MIL required a clean out 🤮 my 85 yoa aunt's fridge looks like a hoarder and she barely even eats!

expired everything... condiments, milk, juices, salad dressings, cheeses, yogurts, lunchmeats... there'd be four things of sour cream with the youngest expiring six months ago. fresh veggies from latest grocery trip on top...covering bags of rotting lettuce and onions. i mean how long do you have to keep a carrot for it to go bad??

i used to get so frustrated at my mom, she'd say 'well i was at the grocery and needed cream cheese and didn't remember i had some' and i'd be like 'fine... but when you get home just throw the old one away!' and she'd be all 'quit fussing at me!' 🙄

ugh. every old person i know does it. remnants from growing up poor?? dunno...but so gross.

Damn..Trix and I are starting to be this. 😟

[Kennythetiger 9376]

Just now, Pokoloco said:

Damn..Trix and I are starting to be this. 😟

“The milk is old?  Oh- I thought you said the milk is cold!”  

[zman13 178]

Going to the doctor and then not doing anything they say. 

Parent always said "I'm not going to be like my parents. When I get old, I'm going to listen to the doctor and follow their advice". 

They go to the doctor and then ignore the advice, decide they don't need the medication, the rehab is optional, etc. 

When I bring up the "I'm not going to be like my parents", the response is "it's different!!!"

[rage-a-holic 4382]

13 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Nope, but then again my relatives don’t need to take money from an elderly woman in need of a skill they possess and use every day. When I owned my construction company I had my guys design and add a large bathroom addition to one of the family matriarch’s houses when they went into a need for a full handicap bath . It didn’t occur to me for a second to make a profit from her situation, I was glad to have the ability to help. I gladly ate 100% of the labor, and when she insisted she pay for the materials I charged her maybe 20% of what they were because the old woman had no idea what shit cost. Your asshole help desk cousin didn’t NEED to charge his aunt, he chose to. Whether she had the ability or willingness to pay is completely irrelevant. Is taking advantage of elderly family members a thing wherever the fuck you’re from?

Oh fuck off. You and your inbred family want to keep giving each other free labor and handjobs? Neat. STFU and don't lecture the rest of us who aren't poor trailer trash.

My BIL owns a large commercial landscaping company. Not for a second would I consider asking him to come fix my yard for free.

My older brother does expensive custom woodwork. I would also not ever consider asking him to spend one of his weekends designing and building me a new fireplace mantle if I just paid for the wood.

My older sister is a dentist. She would laugh at me if I asked for free dental work.

So again, go fuck yourself with the "free family labor" shaming attempts. 

[Sandman 3403]

On 7/23/2023 at 10:53 AM, Dbeasy said:

My dad while he was alive would video tape Cubs games every day. For years. He never watched them. He wasn’t a  Cubs fan. 

He probably loved hearing that Empire carpet jingle. "Call 588-2300, Empiiiiiiiiiiiiire! TODAY!"

[Dennis Taylor 18811]

35 minutes ago, zman13 said:

Going to the doctor and then not doing anything they say. 

Parent always said "I'm not going to be like my parents. When I get old, I'm going to listen to the doctor and follow their advice". 

They go to the doctor and then ignore the advice, decide they don't need the medication, the rehab is optional, etc. 

When I bring up the "I'm not going to be like my parents", the response is "it's different!!!"

Do you think you're going to break the cycle there, whippersnapper? 

[After irth 1243]

1 hour ago, rage-a-holic said:

Oh fuck off. You and your inbred family want to keep giving each other free labor and handjobs? Neat. STFU and don't lecture the rest of us who aren't poor trailer trash.

My BIL owns a large commercial landscaping company. Not for a second would I consider asking him to come fix my yard for free.

My older brother does expensive custom woodwork. I would also not ever consider asking him to spend one of his weekends designing and building me a new fireplace mantle if I just paid for the wood.

My older sister is a dentist. She would laugh at me if I asked for free dental work.

So again, go fuck yourself with the "free family labor" shaming attempts. 

Goddam...now THAT's how a username checks out..!

[Pokoloco 1279]

2 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:

My BIL owns a large commercial landscaping company. Not for a second would I consider asking him to come fix my yard for free.

My older brother does expensive custom woodwork. I would also not ever consider asking him to spend one of his weekends designing and building me a new fireplace mantle if I just paid for the wood.

My older sister is a dentist. She would laugh at me if I asked for free dental work.

So again, go fuck yourself with the "free family labor" shaming attempts. 

None of this is close to a PC/router issue. (Yipes..I'm in for it now)

[rage-a-holic 4382]

9 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

None of this is close to a PC/router issue. (Yipes..I'm in for it now)

Like I said, my cousin only told her he would need to charge her after he saw how much work it was...which she was fine with. 

And it wasn't just a "PC/Router" issue. He spent many hours over 2 days fixing/configuring/explaining all the tech shit in her house she had fucked up or didn't understand, plus he had to come back twice over the following week. 

You want to donate days of your time to family? Cool, have at it. Some of us value our time, especially our free time. Don't fucking act like we're shitty family members because we choose not to gift our free time to family members who can easily afford to pay someone for all the work they want done.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

They sit around and take up tables at restaurants bullshitting all morning so the rest of us that want to eat lunch can’t because they’ve been there all morning

[honolulu horn 6158]

My in-laws go to Dairy Queen with a bunch of other olds, take up several tables, and order a few kid's meals between them. Not enough for everyone to have their own, just a few to share. And only on Monday evenings because that's when they get the weekly senior discount. 

What a bunch of assholes. And I can't wait to do the same thing when I get to that point. 

[markstanco 12573]

A few weeks ago while on the phone with my Mother, she had two packages of hotdogs and hotdog buns and was individually sealing each of them, then to the freezer for the grandkids to eat at a later date.  She said when they come over, she can get one or two out, boil and thaw then serve.  

 

[gofuckyourself 8208]

21 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

They sit around and take up tables at restaurants bullshitting all morning so the rest of us that want to eat lunch can’t because they’ve been there all morning

TIL that I'm old.

[honolulu horn 6158]

22 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:

I've made it a habit the last year or so to spend at least an hour going very systematically through my parents stuff when I go to visit them.  So far I've taken about half a ton of books to Half Price or donated to the local library book sale.  I'm going through each room, bookshelf by bookshelf.  They have an outbuilding with a bunch of shit in it, and the garage is half full of straight nothings.  But those get worked on in the summer, so those are slow going.

My Dad has three file cabinets.  Last time I was out there I found "grade incentives" where he had taken my report cards from elementary school and written how much he had given me for each "A", "B" etc.  Also tons of bank stuff from the 70s and 80s.  So I'll start chucking that stuff pretty soon as well.  

Anyhow, I'm cleaning all their shit out now a bit at a time so I don't have to do it all at once later. 

Yeah, I was fortunate (?) that when my dad had about a year left from his terminal illness that his mind stayed sharp enough and I had enough time to go through the house, room by room, and talk to him about what was what. It was really good to have that opportunity. Stuff I thought was important was actually useless, and stuff I thought was meaningless was actually important for sentimental reasons. I honestly don't remember a lot of what he said about this or that, but the time together was valuable and the reality is that I look back on that time together fondly, even in the midst of the hell and agony surrounding it. 

[zman13 178]

2 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Do you think you're going to break the cycle there, whippersnapper? 

I definitely won't do it. Cause I can go on the Internet and get informed and then......fuck.

[Dennis Taylor 18811]

3 minutes ago, zman13 said:

I definitely won't do it. Cause I can go on the Internet and get informed and then......fuck.

I got my MD from Google when I had appendicitis the day of the LSU game and I knew the prognosis was...not good, to say the least.  Got to the ER about 3 minutes after we didn't recover that last onside kick

[nbmishoid 949]

Getting there old here.  Our issue also is the volume of books.  We’ve taken a thousand away.  Still have about  9 bookshelves full here in the house, recent stuff, like within 25 years.  Plus library type cases in the room over the garage, old technical books, monographs, SPE transactions volumes, etc.hate to toss that “important” (read impotent) stuff.

We also have 3 sets of fine china.  We will leave some stuff for the kids to deal with.  Much less than ours made us deal with.  They need the experience.