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My town is getting a new theme park

JMFP

By JMFP
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JMFP

JMFP 1120

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I heard this rumor about a month ago at the barber shop. I know about 15 years or so ago there was plans for another one to be built on the west side of town but it fell through towards the end of the planning stage. 

Barber shop rumor is that the Hunt Family in Kansas City is backing this one. There's an old quarry/cement plant east of town that they are buying. I'm guessing the big pond in the middle will be the pits left over from that. The official announcement came out today:

 

https://tulsaworld.com/news/local/business/development/2-billion-theme-park-disneyland-vinita/article_b4d7e374-24bb-11ee-997d-8343bdab83d0.html

 

072023-tul-nws-bigdevelopment-p2

 

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VINITA — A $2 billion theme park and resort similar to Disneyland and the Magic Kingdom is planned for Vinita, officials announced Wednesday.

The American Heartland Theme Park and Resort “will attract visitors from around the world to celebrate all that we stand for, here in hometown America,” Vinita Mayor Josh Lee said in announcing the massive project.

The development will be built in phases, starting with a large-scale RV park with cabins scheduled to open in the spring of 2025.

A world-class theme park and resort is scheduled to open in 2026, the same year as the Route 66 centennial.

“We are thrilled to make Oklahoma the home of American Heartland Theme Park and Resort,” American Heartland CEO Larry Wilhite said during Wednesday’s news conference, attended by more than 900 people at the Craig County Community Center.

 

 

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Viking

Viking 301

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“We recognize Oklahoma as the next frontier of tourism in the United States,” said Kristy Adams, senior executive vice president of sales and marketing for Mansion Entertainment Group, American Heartland and Three Ponies."

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mdmost

mdmost 43016

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Sounds a lot like Disney's America theme park that was slated to go in outside of the Manassas National Battlefield that was ditched in the early 90s after opposition from locals. An RV park next to it is very fitting for Oklahoma. 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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“will attract visitors from around the world to celebrate all that we stand for, here in hometown America,”\

What does that even mean?  Celebrate all we stand for?  It's an RV park, roller coasters, fried food, and waterslides.  That's not the bedrock of the Republic.  That's a theme park.  And that's fine, that's what a theme park should contain.  Nothing wrong with it.  Sounds like a fun detour for us to take when we go visit my in-laws in Kansas every year.  But let's tap the brakes on making it out to be a cultural and historic mecca for the United States.  Branson said the same propaganda lines of bullshit 50 years ago and it's still the same backwards-ass flyover dystopia it ever was.  Can still offer a fun time for the Golden Corral/Cracker Barrel crowd.  And kids will enjoy the rides, but c'mon...we all know who this is geared towards, and the "from around the world" crowd ain't it.  

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JMFP

JMFP 1120

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17 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

image.gif.1eaaa82540aa3ddfcfff6800b333f206.gif

I went to school with current Cherokee chief, I don't know first hand but I'd bet none of this would happen without their blessing. I imagine the blueprints are already drawn up for the next casino featuring Toby Keith's Bar and Grill 

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JMFP

JMFP 1120

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1 minute ago, RDCanecutter said:

Seats in rides will be double normal width. Visitors will complain that seats are too small.

We're not building the park for Oklahomans. We're building it for people that have money.

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DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt

DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301

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1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

“will attract visitors from around the world to celebrate all that we stand for, here in hometown America,”\

What does that even mean?  Celebrate all we stand for?  It's an RV park, roller coasters, fried food, and waterslides.  That's not the bedrock of the Republic.  That's a theme park.  And that's fine, that's what a theme park should contain.  Nothing wrong with it.  Sounds like a fun detour for us to take when we go visit my in-laws in Kansas every year.  But let's tap the brakes on making it out to be a cultural and historic mecca for the United States.  Branson said the same propaganda lines of bullshit 50 years ago and it's still the same backwards-ass flyover dystopia it ever was.  Can still offer a fun time for the Golden Corral/Cracker Barrel crowd.  And kids will enjoy the rides, but c'mon...we all know who this is geared towards, and the "from around the world" crowd ain't it.  

I took it to mean “anti-woke”…kinda like threads is doing to twitter these yokels are doing to Disney. That’s my guess anyway.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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10 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

I took it to mean “anti-woke”…kinda like threads is doing to twitter these yokels are doing to Disney. That’s my guess anyway.

Yeah, that's a good assumption.  Although the Hunt family office is not one to make investment decisions based on trends to combat trends and just trust there'll be some IRR at the end of the run.  

By the time this thing gets built out and breaks even, it'll 2030 at the earliest.  The anti-woke movement will have fizzled out and they'll move on to something else to fear-hate like long division or dictionaries.  And as fate would have it, their target audience will boycott water parks because wet tubes put un-pure, godless thoughts into their children's heads.  At least the Midway section of the theme park will be fun and veracious, "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.  Literally."  

Edited by YGIFS
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atomheartbevo

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3 hours ago, Viking said:

“We recognize Oklahoma as the next frontier of tourism in the United States,” said Kristy Adams, senior executive vice president of sales and marketing for Mansion Entertainment Group, American Heartland and Three Ponies."

They do have one of the largest McDonalds in the world, right there over the turnpike, which used to be a Howard Johnsons, which used to host various dances for some of my relatives' high school classes back in the day.  That counts, right?

I have family all around that area, and have been up there dozens of times, fished Grand Lake so many times (family has property there).  There's plenty of money in the Grand Lake area (weekend/lake homes for people from Tulsa maybe, plus retirees), so I wonder how they feel about this thing being built nearby.

Cops in Big Cabin are getting small stiffies over the idea of all of that traffic flowing through there.  Shame the state or feds had to shut them down (FUCK BIG CABIN AND FUCK ANYBODY WHO LIVES THERE AND VOTED FOR THE ASSHOLES THAT RAN THE PLACE WHEN IT WAS SPEED TRAP CITY).

Asked family in that area, and they are all of the same opinion, it's not going to happen.  There's been so many half-assed attempts at big projects in NE Oklahoma over the years, but the Cherokee are about the only ones really Getting Shit Done.  

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54357

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They're gonna have a huge "Pro-Life" water slide shaped like a giant pelvis where you slide down these huge pink tubes and come shooting out of a great big vagina at the end while the Hallelujah Chorus plays.

Edited by Beau Vine
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atomheartbevo

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3 hours ago, mdmost said:

Sounds a lot like Disney's America theme park that was slated to go in outside of the Manassas National Battlefield that was ditched in the early 90s after opposition from locals. An RV park next to it is very fitting for Oklahoma. 

2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

  Branson said the same propaganda lines of bullshit 50 years ago and it's still the same backwards-ass flyover dystopia it ever was.  

Branson brings in billions every year, and they get close to 10 million visitors a year, with plenty being the drive-in/RV crowd. We laugh, but it's a big chunk of money - they've got their crowd dialed in.

Like I said, none of my relatives up there think it will happen (similar to the Manassas thing) although I don't think it will be local opposition.

But the location isn't bad - nobody can build anything like this around Branson for many reasons, and there's a shit-ton of highway/turnpike traffic through the area, with the highway infrastructure already in place, and Grand Lake, casinos, etc. near by.

It's within 5 hours of Dallas, Kansas City, Little Rock, St. Louis, Wichita (and 6 hours to Memphis) and a very easy drive from Oklahoma City, Wichita, KS, Tulsa.  Hell, a massive chunk of the populations of Kansas, Missouri, and Arkansas, and toss in North Texas, are within 5-6 hours of it.

Comparing it to Disney is a fucking joke though.  The weather is shit about 5-6 months out of the year - either hot or cold.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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Oh it's a great regional location and draw.  I just mocked his claim of "visitors from all over the world."  Yes, technically...Kansas and Arkansas are other parts of the world, but I don't think that's what the potential investors took away from the comment. 

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30285

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14 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Oh it's a great regional location and draw.  I just mocked his claim of "visitors from all over the world."  Yes, technically...Kansas and Arkansas are other parts of the world, but I don't think that's what the potential investors took away from the comment. 

Just like the famous ear worm of “It’s a Small World After All”, guests will ride the Switzerrail Tram listening to “Try That in a Small Town” in a never ending audio loop - with stops for gifts in Lynchland, and a sweet tea on the front porch of the Cracker Barrel in  “No Woke, Oklahoma”!

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MalibuSheriff

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4 hours ago, Left Coast said:

What are the odds that the RV park portion is the only part that actually gets built?

I’m an Okie but that was the first thing I thought when I read the article.  However, Grand Lake nearby proposed development is not exactly a shithole by any stretch.

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48148

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As other posters nailed, when the first priority is building the RV park, you know here this is headed. Also, America already has a theme park like this, it’s called Dollywood and it’s owned by an American treasure. And Tennessee is prettier by far than Sucklahoma. Are they counting on the Kansas tourist dollar, just a bunch of farmers spending their hard earned money to visit the only place nearly as flat as where already they live?

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SamsCorner

SamsCorner 395

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8 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

And they've got Rocklahoma (https://rocklahoma.com/), which is not far from Vinita, coming up in less than two months, with 

  • Warrant
  • Skid Row
  • Limp Bizkit
  • Bush
  • GWAR
  • Rob Zombie
  • Pantera

And Born & Raised https://bornandraisedfestival.com/

Google built a data center at the industrial park in Pryor in 2007 and has had nonstop construction for the last 15 years, it has changed that town.  The industrial park employed 5000 but Google attracted a little bit different work force.  Store fronts are full, old houses get bought and fixed up, new high school built, Amish are selling more cookies than they can bake.  We might even get a Whataburger.  Hwy 69/412 corridor is a good place for business.

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie 13519

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Put together big plans, convince the city/state to hand over big incentives based on the potential, and then start with an RV park? The citizens are getting fleeced.

and maybe the theme park will get built but I would bet it won’t be built anytime soon. The best deal for the developers is to delay and go after even more incentives especially if the politicians turn over to a new group.

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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Steel Shank

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12 hours ago, Viking said:

“We recognize Oklahoma as the next frontier of tourism in the United States,” said Kristy Adams, senior executive vice president of sales and marketing for Mansion Entertainment Group, American Heartland and Three Ponies."

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Watch out for chicks named Kristy. 

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atomheartbevo

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1 hour ago, SamsCorner said:

And Born & Raised https://bornandraisedfestival.com/

Google built a data center at the industrial park in Pryor in 2007 and has had nonstop construction for the last 15 years, it has changed that town.  The industrial park employed 5000 but Google attracted a little bit different work force.  Store fronts are full, old houses get bought and fixed up, new high school built, Amish are selling more cookies than they can bake.  We might even get a Whataburger.  Hwy 69/412 corridor is a good place for business.

User name checks out.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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2 hours ago, TexPx said:

Future home of the Donald Trump Presidential Library?

Now that's a ride I would vomit on.  

I'm betting dollars to donuts the muni/state will parse this out as a MUD/PUD (whatever they're called in Oklahoma) and get the water and much of the infrastructure put in for free, as well as have most of their property tax bill waived or frozen at their current undeveloped levels.  And because they'll be featuring our heritage and America's heartland values (like racism, illiteracy, and keeping women subjugated), they'll get it all as a pseudo non-profit until the first ticket is sold.

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30285

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4 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Now that's a ride I would vomit on.  

I'm betting dollars to donuts the muni/state will parse this out as a MUD/PUD (whatever they're called in Oklahoma) and get the water and much of the infrastructure put in for free, as well as have most of their property tax bill waived or frozen at their current undeveloped levels.  And because they'll be featuring our heritage and America's heartland values (like racism, illiteracy, and keeping women subjugated), they'll get it all as a pseudo non-profit until the first ticket is sold.

Finally, a rival for that too-liberal Kentucky Creation Museum!

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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Yeah, that place really is too woke.  I mean, they have the female animals walking onto the Ark right next to the male animals.  Bullshit.  We all know women were meant to walk/fly/swim behind the males in the animal kingdom.  It says so in the King James Bible: Beaumont Edition.  Also, included on Noah's Ark were Sea Horses, 2 of 'em.  As we all know from 5th grade science class...the male Sea Horse can become female in a matter of minutes in order to carry the fetuses to term for procreative longevity purposes.  Sea Horses are just changing genders on a whim with parental support!  It's bullshit, you're either born a boy or a girl, ain't no just changing nature half-way thru life.  You can't do that!  And don't get me started on the Emperor Penguins where the males have to tend the eggs until they hatch and care for the babies while the females go off and hunt for food.  It's totally backwards from what God intended!  Kentucky Creation Museum is just a front to indoctrinate our youth by a Mister Ronan Sinatra! 

This Oklahoma theme park megaplex will instead be grounded in reality, faith, values, and the best rides designed by C- students from NE Oklahoma State University.  And there will be American History shows every hour on the hour in the Heritage Pavilion where you can learn about the proud history of Oklahoma.  Like the time the settlers got together and helped their friends pack up their stuff and move to new housing developments one Saturday.  Even brought their own moving blankets for their friends to keep as they helped them relocate.  Or the time in Tulsa when there was a disagreement at a City Council meeting regarding some local issues in the Greenwood neighborhood.  And instead of making it about race, they just wanted to rename/renumber the streets of that neighborhood and sadly, several people fell down and died.  And you can count on there being no musical performances of any kind that may lead to men wearing makeup, even stage makeup.  There will be an abundance of awful, awful country music in all areas of the park from Toby Keith to Roy Clark, Jr. to Toby Keith.  

It was only a matter of time before the Stupids got wise and monetized what we all know to be true.

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54357

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3 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

As other posters nailed, when the first priority is building the RV park, you know here this is headed. Also, America already has a theme park like this, it’s called Dollywood and it’s owned by an American treasure. And Tennessee is prettier by far than Sucklahoma. Are they counting on the Kansas tourist dollar, just a bunch of farmers spending their hard earned money to visit the only place nearly as flat as where already they live?

Dolly is on the boycott list for wokeness:

 

Edited by Beau Vine
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11 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

They're gonna have a huge "Pro-Life" water slide shaped like a giant pelvis where you slide down these huge pink tubes and come shooting out of a great big vagina at the end while the Hallelujah Chorus plays.

That's my fetish...  Keep going.

 

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BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15304

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Whole area is blowing up.  The casino's in OK are some of the biggest in the country.  Broken Bow is exploding with cabin values doubling and tripling in a matter of a few years.  Layer in the new PGA headquarters north of Frisco and the plans for a Universal Studios - it's a ton of development going in.  

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