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Hagbard Celine

By Hagbard Celine
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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10,871

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esteemed compatriots - i have 2 businesses to pitch - both use AI - one is pure software with a goal of a unicorn exit to a deathstar in 24 months - the other is a real-world extension of the 1st

thank you in advance for your sincere guidance

flamethrowers be damned

requesting links to sites with formats for both docs and decks

does anyone use https://pitchbook.com/ and what do you like about it?

 

 

 

 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,452

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Make sure to pepper a liberal use of the term "conservative estimates" on every other page of your pitchbook and your in-person presentation.  Investors love to hear how conservative you're being with your growth projections, always makes you seem really grounded and pragmatic.  We never hear how prudent and abstemious the operators are being in their financial forecasts.  It's a totally new concept that a pitch team should embrace.  Always have a page of the logos of Fortune 500 corporations and recent unicorns in your tech space/market verticals, and frequently compare yourself to them in every regard.  Finally-a memorable pitch deck should always feature lots and lots of quotes from famous thought leaders over the centuries that will dazzle and inspire.  Remember, people aren't investing in you...they're investing in your heretofore undiscovered technology idea that will change everything about all the things we didn't know about up until we learned about how you changed them.  So just skip the bio section, just a waste of paper and glamour shot vouchers.

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Wally Fairway

Wally Fairway 5,559

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21 hours ago, Parliament said:

I got a template for you.  Just make sure you have a spare bulb.

 

And remember don't use permanent markers on the projector screen or on the slides (I've seen both of those happen with hilarious results)

 

19 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Always have a page of the logos of Fortune 500 corporations and recent unicorns in your tech space/market verticals, and frequently compare yourself to them in every regard. 

Look I am sure YGIFS means well, but really all you need to do is post he Surly logo (whatever it is this week) and a link to your Surly profile page; the money will come flowing in.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,452

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Yeah, my whole post was sarcasm.  But if you read carefully, it actually tells you precisely what NOT to do in your pitch deck.  
 

I’ll post some sincere pro tips.  I mean, I’m not a pro but I’ve seen/heard thousands over the years and lecture On the matter in an upper division course.  

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Captainant

Captainant 27,680

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1 hour ago, Wally Fairway said:

Look I am sure YGIFS means well, but really all you need to do is post he Surly logo (whatever it is this week) and a link to your Surly profile page; the money will come flowing in.

Just don't take any money from the drive through daiquiri industry 

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10,871

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5 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah, my whole post was sarcasm.  But if you read carefully, it actually tells you precisely what NOT to do in your pitch deck.  
 

I’ll post some sincere pro tips.  I mean, I’m not a pro but I’ve seen/heard thousands over the years and lecture On the matter in an upper division course.  

your wisdom will be repaid with a hamburger on tuesday, that and 1% of the Class A

anyone who helps me gets a cut and i'm serious

up to 10 surlyites with sincere, actual, valuable contributions get 1% of the Class A

bob and imma already get 1% each, that leaves 8 more open

you have to help me all the way through - you can't just share a deck and be done

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,452

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You can give my 1% to the Burnt Ends/Wreath Fund.  Are you doing this on a SAFE basis, I assume?

One non-sarcastic pro tip.  If this AI is worth 5% of what you think it is, do what I advise young companies to do.  When you get to the part about your burn rate until the next raise...be diligent and thrifty about everything from office space to marketing to benefits, etc.  All the usual stuff.  What I see IP-sensitive startup, one after the other, is also present to us a barebones/skimpy budget for Legal & Accounting.  Do not make that mistake.  I want to see good stewardship of capital, but I not want to see "We figured we can do most of our IP work on legalzoom.com and handle all the accounting and financials ourselves with some basic software."  If your company is extremely IP-sensitive, as most AI is, I want next-to-top level IP legal advice, I want ironclad SAFE/seed/A/B/C round docs, airtight taxes & payroll, and finally-a cap table as clean as the driven snow.  not some bullshit your in-laws did to save you a few bucks and now, nobody know what the fuck the cap stack and table are actually supposed to look like.  Makes the first round of SFO/MFO/VC/ii raises look like a fucking daytime soap opera waiting to happen.  If it costs $100,000 to sew up your IP and PPM/offer docs, ask me for $95,000 and put $5,000 in yourself.  Don't tell me you're gonna cut costs and get it done for $20,000 and some long weekends "doing my own research."  You may think that's a selling point, to me it's almost enough to just cut the pitch short and thank everybody for their time.  Not directed at you personally, but if your shit's as good as you say it is, and you're protecting your IP with legalzoom and your finances/current round with an excel sheet and a handshake, then you don't take your shit seriously-so why should I?    

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Longhornsnus

Longhornsnus 200

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If you want to pay for the advice/service, here is as good a place as any: https://www.deckdoctors.xyz/

Be forewarned, there is a cottage industry is littered with former VC's (more like, former lowly analysts who worked in fundraising) who shill their "experience" as being part of the teams who have seen thousands of decks and distilled the best practices down, etc. etc.

 

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Longhornsnus

Longhornsnus 200

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Also, as someone who has recently had to dig into some of the specifics, it's important to determine what stage of funding you are looking for. Since you don't have the foggiest of your pitch deck, I will assume you are pre-revenue and probably still in an idea conception stage, where you don't have a product built out and haven't proven PMF. You are probably not going to be raise a red cent in this environment outside of your friends and family if that is the case.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,452

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46 minutes ago, Hagbard Celine said:

thank you ygifs

are you in?

I appreciate the aggressive closing tactics, but your business plan is about as vague to me as Kramer's plan to save the environment from oil spills which may or may not involve a chicken.  When you make a deck, send it to me, and I'm happy to offer some feedback if you pay it forward by volunteering at UT or helping clean up after a tailgate or rubbing this bunion on my left foot.  

6 minutes ago, Longhornsnus said:

If you want to pay for the advice/service, here is as good a place as any: https://www.deckdoctors.xyz/

Be forewarned, there is a cottage industry is littered with former VC's (more like, former lowly analysts who worked in fundraising) who shill their "experience" as being part of the teams who have seen thousands of decks and distilled the best practices down, etc. etc.

 

For a second, I thought that was my urologist's website.  Good point about people hacking their wares as former VC/PE experts and charging young companies large sums to tell them next to nothing.  Only pitch advice I dispense is for free, to UT students.  Although I do my best to parlay my volunteer time into better campus parking, so I'm no saint.  Professionally, I hear/see a lot of decks...but I generally don't offer feedback.  It's not my expertise and they won't listen anyway.  I simply state why it's not right for us, and if I can point them to somebody in their space...I will make a warm introduction just to keep net karma positive.  

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,452

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25 minutes ago, troph said:

Giving 10% of a future series A to people on the internet might be the first thing I’d tell you not to do - if you were my client.

Oh, come on now.  I'm sure we're all accredited in...(checks notes for investors) accredited insane

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troph

troph 24,851

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21 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Oh, come on now.  I'm sure we're all accredited in...(checks notes for investors) accredited insane

service providers / employees don't have to be accredited if you can consider them as providing services for compensation as opposed to being treated as investors. that's what most well advised companies do. true value add should get common stock/securities not investor class securities. usually through founding stock grants (at a true near zero valuation unless folks want a tax bill for phantom value). After the founding of the company, those non-employee individuals should be brought in through non-qual stock options to avoid tax issues. 

separately, he said 10% of series A so assuming that is done without a seed round that could be as much as 30% of the company?  maybe only 20%? so 10% of that is 2-3%. That's better from a keep your pie for yourself standpoint, but then 10 folks at 0.2-0.3% equity each? that's still a crowded cap table with minuscule grants to 10 people. not worth the admin/law suit risk. that will annoy the money folks enormously. you in fact mentioned a pristine cap table was important (and it is). 10 people at founding with minuscule equity grants or options isn't a great way to start asking professional money to invest. 

that said, true value add is important and money won't shy away from grants to truly needed advisors, I just don't see a need for 10 non-employee hamburglers at the beginning.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,452

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Yeah, I get all that.  Part of the gig.  I'm still confused if he wants us to help or invest.  I'm not going anywhere near this as an equity investor, either our firm nor me personally.  I was just trying to be a good community member and offer some pointers.  To your point, I could take equity as comp for services rendered.  But I don't want to do that much work and certainly don't have any fucking idea what the hell this AI deal even does.  But through our professional discussions, hopefully he/they can glean some insight.  

I've been unpacking a SAFE deal for over a year only because it has a serious contract with the DoD which is incredibly rare for such a young company that just got to revenue.  But the 0% discount is off-putting to many of the LP's he wanted introductions to, which I understand.  But the Pentagon hamstrung him via VC funds (because of their propensity to have foreign investors).  So he's looking for a needle in a stack of needles.  I'm just the "yeah, but" guy, I wouldn't know a viable AI platform from a shitty one.  What I do know is what you mentioned in detail, I think it may be over the skis to be at non-dilution A talk right now, but then again-who the fuck knows where in the curve his technology really is.  Again, back to legal.  

I would almost respect a flex by some AI/Web 3.0 early stage here in Austin to go get some dated low-Class A office space off 183, have the founders lease Porsche Boxsters, have cigar/swing dancing/martini reverse happy hours with workouts, stadium suites, and standing reservations at Z Tejas before they pay out the nose to have the Scabs reunite for a private concert.  You know...just to show we've learned from our past mistakes?  ;) 

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10,871

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3 hours ago, Longhornsnus said:

If you want to pay for the advice/service, here is as good a place as any: https://www.deckdoctors.xyz/

Be forewarned, there is a cottage industry is littered with former VC's (more like, former lowly analysts who worked in fundraising) who shill their "experience" as being part of the teams who have seen thousands of decks and distilled the best practices down, etc. etc.

 

I only want to work with Horns who are vouched by others here that I trust.  But I will review that site absolutely.

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10,871

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3 hours ago, Longhornsnus said:

Also, as someone who has recently had to dig into some of the specifics, it's important to determine what stage of funding you are looking for. Since you don't have the foggiest of your pitch deck, I will assume you are pre-revenue and probably still in an idea conception stage, where you don't have a product built out and haven't proven PMF. You are probably not going to be raise a red cent in this environment outside of your friends and family if that is the case.

It is the case, but I have to try.  /yoda

I've been working on the idea for 30 years.  AI now makes it possible.  So, I have to document it, and at least pitch it.  You miss 100% of the swings you don't take.

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Captainant

Captainant 27,680

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7 hours ago, Shaggy3.0 said:

Get in on the AI boom while you can: https://www.linkedin.com/news/story/most-of-us-missing-out-on-ai-boom-5367041/

https://www.forbes.com/lists/ai50/?sh=52e85ede290f

 

We're gonna see @Hagbard Celine on this list one day.

I can assure you, it's much better to be in the shovel business than in the digging business during a gold rush

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10,871

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18 hours ago, Shaggy3.0 said:

Get in on the AI boom while you can: https://www.linkedin.com/news/story/most-of-us-missing-out-on-ai-boom-5367041/

https://www.forbes.com/lists/ai50/?sh=52e85ede290f

 

We're gonna see @Hagbard Celine on this list one day.

thank you for that link - had not seen it

thank you for your support and encouragement

10 hours ago, Captainant said:

I can assure you, it's much better to be in the shovel business than in the digging business during a gold rush

what about the gold-weighing business?

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Blotto

Blotto 23,559

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3 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

When the internet/telecom bubble hit in 1998-2000, I saw some of the dumbest people on the planet score $100m personal exits. AI is starting to look a little bubbly, but it probably will take 4/5 years to burst. 

I was slinging semiconductors in the Bay Area at that time, and for a year, my territory was the North Bay. I swear every month, one of my accounts was getting snapped up by Cisco for stupid amounts of money. (seriously check out how many acquisitions they made between 98-00 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_acquisitions_by_Cisco ).

 

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Dbeasy

Dbeasy 15,068

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7 hours ago, Blotto said:

I was slinging semiconductors in the Bay Area at that time, and for a year, my territory was the North Bay. I swear every month, one of my accounts was getting snapped up by Cisco for stupid amounts of money. (seriously check out how many acquisitions they made between 98-00 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_acquisitions_by_Cisco ).

 

One guy in particular I remember founded a company based upon vapor ware and promptly sold it to Nortel for $4B, netting himself $300m. I visited the company a few months before the purchase, and the manufacturing line was literally nothing but dirt. They had not even produced a real product yet. And of course they never did. This guy was a blowhard with a big bag of nothing. RIP Nortel, you morons. 

And Cisco bought my friend’s startup that had no product and he netted $5m for about 18 months of “work”.  Good, smart guy though. 

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BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15,301

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6 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

One guy in particular I remember founded a company based upon vapor ware and promptly sold it to Nortel for $4B, netting himself $300m. I visited the company a few months before the purchase, and the manufacturing line was literally nothing but dirt. They had not even produced a real product yet. And of course they never did. This guy was a blowhard with a big bag of nothing. RIP Nortel, you morons. 

And Cisco bought my friend’s startup that had no product and he netted $5m for about 18 months of “work”.  Good, smart guy though. 

giphy.gif

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10,871

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https://www.av.vc/blog/on-learn-page-vc-masterclass-4-ai-sectors-impacting-vc-investing?utm_campaign=vc-masterclass&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=267524244&_hsenc=p2ANqtz--A__m-uU-TRb7caV3p3rWKsMgDvH2Eupz34cKvdPzWHbLbn8n1CPXUtuCuRgLdaccAhEAXbpZj_DdBfiQrMJGGVC0bWUfUqPRXY1UUHOfk7BHbhL8&utm_content=july&utm_source=hubspot#video

these guys pretend to be horns but they are not

anyone know them?

they are bullish on 4 categories - again my idea is not in that group

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RollLeft

RollLeft 5,045

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On 7/27/2023 at 11:32 AM, BeardIP said:

If you are truly looking for pre-seed, seed or VC money, the rule of thumb is to have 5 boxes checked:

1) Strong team (they don't like solopreneurs, generally speaking)

2) Problem

3) Solution

4) TAM/Market

5) Traction to date

Be able to speak to these 5 at a bare minimum and be able to articulate these things crisply in a pitch deck.

I read somewhere yesterday that investors see so many pitch decks they give an average of 1 minute to each to read and make a decision. Much like how recruiters give 7 seconds to a resume before they decide if they like you or not, same analogy.

As someone who has been in and around this a few times, good luck!

Shark Tank Writing GIF

 

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RollLeft

RollLeft 5,045

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On 7/23/2023 at 2:21 PM, Hagbard Celine said:

anyone use this:?

https://www.liveplan.com/

I've used it since it was Business(Marketing) Plan Pro.  It's a no-frills, get-the-job-done, off-the-shelf package that navigates the general areas you need for a paper plan to pitch.  Like many other services, trash in trash out. 

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10,871

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23 hours ago, BeardIP said:

Part of me thinks he is trolling. The other part, just really naïve.

if you could invent googlemaps/directions, were you naive when you wrote it down?

if you could bring military-grade C6ISR to the entire planet, should you write it down?

https://www.trentonsystems.com/blog/c2-c4isr-c5isr-c6isr-differences

and before anyone starts in on me...

THIS IS NOT A FUCKING TRAP

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