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Bateshorn

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Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9905

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Posted

I do not want to wade into the football board and swim through that shit. Can I get a hot take on if the team is going to be good this year?  No koolaid, plz. 
 

As a reminder: this is cloakroom, so please be respectful on football related matters. 

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softlynow

softlynow 1784

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There is enough talent to win 10 games and the conference. However, there are two huge causes for concern, IMHO: whether Sark is capable of putting it together enough to win that many, and whether the conference will allow us to win close games. I fully expect to be disappointed one way or another.

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Js1

Js1 85114

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25 minutes ago, softlynow said:

There is enough talent to win 10 games and the conference. However, there are two huge causes for concern, IMHO: whether Sark is capable of putting it together enough to win that many, and whether the conference will allow us to win close games. I fully expect to be disappointed one way or another.

Yormark is a fascist who is going to try and Jan 6 our season 

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Beantown Express 2.0

Beantown Express 2.0 6555

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This is the cloak room right?  The Big 12 has already rigged the season against us bigly.  By the way, the Big 12 is being controlled by the Biden Crime Syndicate and China.  

On a more positive note, we are going to win all our games including the National Championship and a statue of Sark lifting up Ewers holding the championship trophy will be commissioned for the outside of the stadium.  

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TexasEd

TexasEd 8064

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If we don't win the National Championship it's rigged.  You've got to watch those referees, they're stealing points and throwing flags. STOLLEN!!! You hate to see what this country has become with all the conference realignment.  We have the BIGGEST stadium, it's a beautiful stadium with the most wonderful people on both sides.  You know that if we don't win with crowds that big that it's rigged.  

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gmr548

gmr548 16517

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10-11 win roster will pay a 2-3 game tax for having Sark in charge and B12 refs being inclined to favor opponents (I don’t expect 2015 OSU level shenanigans but I wouldn’t hold my breath for a fourth quarter call of any kind). 8-9 wins. Maybe that gets you to Arlington.

we might win, we might lose, all depends on whether we score more points than our opponents. and turnovers and explosive plays, those are yuge too.
I think 9 wins is probably the O/U honestly.

9.5 at most books. And you get juice on the under. Tempted to drive to Louisiana.
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YChang

YChang 3431

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9 minutes ago, TexasEd said:

If we don't win the National Championship it's rigged.  You've got to watch those referees, they're stealing points and throwing flags. STOLLEN!!! You hate to see what this country has become with all the conference realignment.  We have the BIGGEST stadium, it's a beautiful stadium with the most wonderful people on both sides.  You know that if we don't win with crowds that big that it's rigged.  

Wise words. Cup of covfefe on me good sir. 

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Brian Fantana

Brian Fantana 6668

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Ya'll are gonna suck shit. Tuck Fexas and Sark probably voted for Trump. On top of that, an unnamed billionaire donor/regent for Tech has cut a deal with Yormark to ensure Texas is at a 3:1 disadvantages in penalties called in every conference game, at the very least. A larger ratio would be ideal. The conference has a revenue carve out for crates of batteries to be strategically placed around conference foes' stadiums when Texas comes to town. Conference teams will be assessed unsportsmanlike conduct penalties at the end of each quarter if they DON'T do at least 1 Horns Down after any given play during that quarter. Holding (O/D), facemask, roughing the passer, pass interference will be limited to 5 total, per game, for Texas' conference opponents. Officiating teams will be fined if there's not at least 1 Poona Ford Special in any given conference game involving Texas. In addition, Texas has been secretly declared ineligible for to play in the conference championship game, even if you somehow manage to overcome all of that. In the very UNLIKELY scenario, that Texas qualifies for the CCG, the slot will instead go to Oklahoma, regardless of the Sooners' conference record.

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Hookah Horns

Hookah Horns 3082

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0% chance the refs don't fuck us out of at least one game. I'm predicting they'll do it early and often but again it'll definitely happen at least once. 

Team is gonna be really good though. Sark at his press conference today exuded confidence bigly. My biggest concern is still the interior OL and being able to impose our will with the run. I've been anti-Majors but he's apparently the best option there unfortunately. Campbell still needs to get the mental side down. Conner is average and has a low ceiling imo. 

Also concerned about pass rush but I'm hopeful Ant Hill will be precocious and Burke should be solid. Sorrell must stay healthy. 

I can't fucking wait to see Catalon cracking skulls at safety. Please stay healthy. 

I expect we see a deep passing game that's night and day different than last season. I'll be very disappointed if that doesn't pan. 

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Hookah Horns

Hookah Horns 3082

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16 minutes ago, Brian Fantana said:

Ya'll are gonna suck shit. Tuck Fexas and Sark probably voted for Trump. On top of that, an unnamed billionaire donor/regent for Tech has cut a deal with Yormark to ensure Texas is at a 3:1 disadvantages in penalties called in every conference game, at the very least. A larger ratio would be ideal. The conference has a revenue carve out for crates of batteries to be strategically placed around conference foes' stadiums when Texas comes to town. Conference teams will be assessed unsportsmanlike conduct penalties at the end of each quarter if they DON'T do at least 1 Horns Down after any given play during that quarter. Holding (O/D), facemask, roughing the passer, pass interference will be limited to 5 total, per game, for Texas' conference opponents. Officiating teams will be fined if there's not at least 1 Poona Ford Special in any given conference game involving Texas. In addition, Texas has been secretly declared ineligible for to play in the conference championship game, even if you somehow manage to overcome all of that. In the very UNLIKELY scenario, that Texas qualifies for the CCG, the slot will instead go to Oklahoma, regardless of the Sooners' conference record.

It's scary that all of this is believable. 

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HornOnTheBayou

HornOnTheBayou 8881

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The Longhorns used to be really good in football. Most people don't know that. But ever since Obama came to power, the Longhorns have been terrible. So terrible, terrible team. In fact, one of the players came up to me on the street just last week. Big guy, real strong, man's man, straight out of central casting, and he came to me, this big guy, with tears in his eyes and he said, "Sir, we don't even have footballs at practice." Can you believe that? No footballs at practice. I told him we're going to get footballs. And then we'll start winning again.

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Bullneck

Bullneck 18987

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1 hour ago, Brian Fantana said:

Ya'll are gonna suck shit. Tuck Fexas and Sark probably voted for Trump. On top of that, an unnamed billionaire donor/regent for Tech has cut a deal with Yormark to ensure Texas is at a 3:1 disadvantages in penalties called in every conference game, at the very least. A larger ratio would be ideal. The conference has a revenue carve out for crates of batteries to be strategically placed around conference foes' stadiums when Texas comes to town. Conference teams will be assessed unsportsmanlike conduct penalties at the end of each quarter if they DON'T do at least 1 Horns Down after any given play during that quarter. Holding (O/D), facemask, roughing the passer, pass interference will be limited to 5 total, per game, for Texas' conference opponents. Officiating teams will be fined if there's not at least 1 Poona Ford Special in any given conference game involving Texas. In addition, Texas has been secretly declared ineligible for to play in the conference championship game, even if you somehow manage to overcome all of that. In the very UNLIKELY scenario, that Texas qualifies for the CCG, the slot will instead go to Oklahoma, regardless of the Sooners' conference record.

That IS 2015 Okie State level of fuckery.

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1 hour ago, Hookah Horns said:

Team is gonna be really good though.

ryan reynolds hd GIF

What's changed between last season and this season? Except for losing a damn good player in Bijan? 

I expect it's going to be a season that has been like every one of the past 10. We have games where we look like world beaters. We have games where we can't stop tripping over our own feet. We come out of it 8-4 or 9-3 and all argue over whether Sark is the answer or not.

 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 104628

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1 hour ago, Brian Fantana said:

Ya'll are gonna suck shit. Tuck Fexas and Sark probably voted for Trump. On top of that, an unnamed billionaire donor/regent for Tech has cut a deal with Yormark to ensure Texas is at a 3:1 disadvantages in penalties called in every conference game, at the very least. A larger ratio would be ideal. The conference has a revenue carve out for crates of batteries to be strategically placed around conference foes' stadiums when Texas comes to town. Conference teams will be assessed unsportsmanlike conduct penalties at the end of each quarter if they DON'T do at least 1 Horns Down after any given play during that quarter. Holding (O/D), facemask, roughing the passer, pass interference will be limited to 5 total, per game, for Texas' conference opponents. Officiating teams will be fined if there's not at least 1 Poona Ford Special in any given conference game involving Texas. In addition, Texas has been secretly declared ineligible for to play in the conference championship game, even if you somehow manage to overcome all of that. In the very UNLIKELY scenario, that Texas qualifies for the CCG, the slot will instead go to Oklahoma, regardless of the Sooners' conference record.

Show me a lie in there.  You can't.

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Hookah Horns

Hookah Horns 3082

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46 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

ryan reynolds hd GIF

What's changed between last season and this season? Except for losing a damn good player in Bijan? 

I expect it's going to be a season that has been like every one of the past 10. We have games where we look like world beaters. We have games where we can't stop tripping over our own feet. We come out of it 8-4 or 9-3 and all argue over whether Sark is the answer or not.

 

Probably the biggest change is adding Neyor and more importantly AD Mitchell. We were complete shit at throwing down the field last year, which is especially a problem when your play caller is fucking obsessed with taking those shots. It's an embarrassment of riches when you have studs like Cook and Moore coming in off the bench as your 5th or 6th option. 

Ewers should be loads better. No idea how close he gets to his ceiling but his floor should be much higher this season. He totally rededicated himself to grinding; he seemed to think he could get by on his talent alone. I have complete confidence we'll see the fruits of that this year. 

OL will undoubtedly be improved, to what degree is anyone's guess. 

If Catalon can stay healthy, that pretty much turbocharges what was a pretty good defense last year. And every position other than LB is going to be improved over last year. And it's possible even LB will end up being so. 

Kickoffs will be a lot better. Many more touchbacks are on tap this year. Punting was fine last year but should be a strength now. 

All that said, I still don't really know what we have in Sark as a game day HC and play caller. For that reason and because of his resume, it wouldn't necessarily shock me if your 8 or 9 win prediction ends up correct. Also the ref fuckery that's inevitable. 

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89450

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4 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

Football is where you see the violence inherent in the system.

And armchair quarterbacking is how we seize the means of offensive production.

And all of our opponents that beat us are trafficking children and harvesting their Adrenochrome to help reduce their turnovers and stay fresher than our players.

And the Heisman Trophy has already been decided and the votes rigged against UT players.

And JFK Jr. is waiting in the wings to take over when Sark falters.

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Js1

Js1 85114

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21 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

probably. i blacked out from Colt's shoulder injury to sometime after halftime of OU last year.

Oh you missed a really good bowl game in 2019 (for the 2018 season) 

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Js1

Js1 85114

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12 minutes ago, SmokeyTheBear said:

We'll lose to OSU because of some really bizarre ref calls. 

I can’t wait to see how the conference gives us a loss to a team we don’t play in order to keep us out of the CCG

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Longhorn_Fan68

Longhorn_Fan68 33843

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15 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Oh you missed a really good bowl game in 2019 (for the 2018 season) 

TBF, I saw it all, I just remember very little of it. Even the few bright spots are hard to recall and this has little do with my state of mind. It was just that bad. Last season was pretty fun, though. Which is why I'm pretty pumped for this year. Nothing crazy, just mildly excited.

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TexasEd

TexasEd 8064

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1 minute ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

TBF, I saw it all, I just remember very little of it. Even the few bright spots are hard to recall and this has little do with my state of mind. It was just that bad. Last season was pretty fun, though. Which is why I'm pretty pumped for this year. Nothing crazy, just mildly excited.

All I remember is that Bevo chased UGA and now has to be in a pen.

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SaucyJack

SaucyJack 3487

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6 hours ago, Bateshorn said:

I do not want to wade into the football board and swim through that shit. Can I get a hot take on if the team is going to be good this year?  No koolaid, plz. 
 

As a reminder: this is cloakroom, so please be respectful on football related matters. 

9-3

Depth is our biggest problem.  Trend is up.  Hook'em!!

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Serak The Preparer

Serak The Preparer 3424

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1 hour ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

ryan reynolds hd GIF

What's changed between last season and this season? Except for losing a damn good player in Bijan? 

I expect it's going to be a season that has been like every one of the past 10. We have games where we look like world beaters. We have games where we can't stop tripping over our own feet. We come out of it 8-4 or 9-3 and all argue over whether Sark is the answer or not.

 

You'd be forgiven for not remembering much of the last 10 years but even going 8-4 only happened 3 fucking times in the last 10 years. 9-3 would be an oasis in the desert compared to the last 10 years. I know that it's super shitty but tells you why there is some optimism this season: even your take off 8-4 or 9-3 shows improvement, it's not just the last 10 years.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89450

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55 minutes ago, Serak The Preparer said:

You'd be forgiven for not remembering much of the last 10 years but even going 8-4 only happened 3 fucking times in the last 10 years. 9-3 would be an oasis in the desert compared to the last 10 years. I know that it's super shitty but tells you why there is some optimism this season: even your take off 8-4 or 9-3 shows improvement, it's not just the last 10 years.

Look, I’m going to have to stop you right there - we don’t actually know how many 8-4 or 9-3 or 10-2 seasons we’ve had over the last 10 years, because I wasn’t at most of those games and didn’t see the wins and losses personally, and most of what you read on Wikipedia is false, and even if the UT website says we’ve only had 3 8-4 seasons over the last ten years, UT is a state institution and therefore the website can easily be manipulated by The Deep (Ball) State - it’s no different than people trying to claim that 1 million Jews died in the holocaust or more likely no Jews died in the holocaust - if most of us weren’t at those games, how can we say they were even played in the first place?

 I haven’t done any research to ascertain how well we’ve actually done over the last ten years, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped trying to tell us information for which there may be alternate facts.  

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