Social services for adults

[BearSchlong 8094]

I've got a good friend who has serious health issues. One of them is lupus (it's never lupus, but in this case, it is), blood disorders that require regular transfusions, HIV, and just a myriad of chronic health problems. 61, lives alone, and until recently was cutting hair and pretty much-living paycheck to paycheck.

 

We became friends in AA, where people who would not ordinarily mix forge close friendships as part of the recovery journey. In our 12-year friendship, I've seen him help countless people get sober. Some of his health problems may be self-inflicted and related to addiction, but for at least 15 years, he has been a responsible, generous, upstanding, helpful person. I say this because he has been a net positive contributor in the world and isn't an entitled shit just looking for charity.

 

He has health insurance through the Ryan White Foundation, lives alone in an apartment with his dog, has no significant other, siblings, children, or other relatives. For about 4 months, I've been managing a go-fund-me to help pay his rent and expenses, but it's becoming clear he isn't returning to work anytime soon. And a small group of us are unable to support him financially, long-term.

 

I just left from visiting him in the ICU, and he is scared, helpless, and not in his right mind. And he is, for all practical purposes, alone in the world. I'm happy to visit and bring him groceries whenever possible, but Q4 ill be traveling extensively and working long hours.

 

Tomorrow I plan on calling a disability lawyer on his behalf and consulting with some social worker friends to explore agencies and programs that might provide sustainable services for his care. And I may end up calling Adult Protective Services at DFPS as he is quickly becoming incapable of making his own decisions.

 

I'm posting this here to get input on something I might be missing. Anyone have any ideas?

[Handcruser 2805]

You’re a good person for helping him out.

The city should have plenty of resources to assist.

[BearSchlong 8094]

That's a good idea, thanks.

[YGIFS 19450]

What city/county is he in?  

[BearSchlong 8094]

Jefferson/Beaumont

My new hairdresser is my kryptonite. Platinum blonde, blue eyes, think east Texas slightly older Margot Robbie.

[torre 1285]

On 9/14/2023 at 10:05 PM, BearSchlong said:

 

I

 

 

Tomorrow I plan on calling a disability lawyer on his behalf and consulting with some social worker friends to explore agencies and programs that might provide sustainable services for his care. And I may end up calling Adult Protective Services at DFPS as he is quickly becoming incapable of making his own decisions.

 

I'm posting this here to get input on something I might be missing. Anyone have any ideas?

Does the hospital have a patient advocacy program that may assist you in finding help ?

[BearSchlong 8094]

Hopefully. He was spiking a high fever last night and was borderline incoherent. They have my number and I've offered to help with context.

[Brisketexan 105139]

On 9/14/2023 at 10:05 PM, BearSchlong said:

 

I've got a good friend who has serious health issues. One of them is lupus (it's never lupus, but in this case, it is), blood disorders that require regular transfusions, HIV, and just a myriad of chronic health problems. 61, lives alone, and until recently was cutting hair and pretty much-living paycheck to paycheck.

 

We became friends in AA, where people who would not ordinarily mix forge close friendships as part of the recovery journey. In our 12-year friendship, I've seen him help countless people get sober. Some of his health problems may be self-inflicted and related to addiction, but for at least 15 years, he has been a responsible, generous, upstanding, helpful person. I say this because he has been a net positive contributor in the world and isn't an entitled shit just looking for charity.

 

He has health insurance through the Ryan White Foundation, lives alone in an apartment with his dog, has no significant other, siblings, children, or other relatives. For about 4 months, I've been managing a go-fund-me to help pay his rent and expenses, but it's becoming clear he isn't returning to work anytime soon. And a small group of us are unable to support him financially, long-term.

 

I just left from visiting him in the ICU, and he is scared, helpless, and not in his right mind. And he is, for all practical purposes, alone in the world. I'm happy to visit and bring him groceries whenever possible, but Q4 ill be traveling extensively and working long hours.

 

Tomorrow I plan on calling a disability lawyer on his behalf and consulting with some social worker friends to explore agencies and programs that might provide sustainable services for his care. And I may end up calling Adult Protective Services at DFPS as he is quickly becoming incapable of making his own decisions.

 

I'm posting this here to get input on something I might be missing. Anyone have any ideas?

You're good people, BS, and I definitely owe you a (non-alcoholic) drink at some point soon.

Definitely check with the hospital's patient advocacy group, and see if they can connect you to a social worker directly.  They may also have contacts with the city or county.

I wish I knew better connections.  And I know you already know this, but one of the things that is hardest to make peace with (and you must) is the fact that you can't save everyone.  But I also know you'll move heaven and earth to save this one.  And that fucking matters.  Thanks for that.

[Jerry Callo 8703]

I second speaking with the hospital's social worker.  Different situation, but they were extremely helpful when trying to get resources for my mother.  My sister and I had no idea what we were doing.

He might be a candidate for hospice care as well.  Hospice does not require a diagnosis of < 6 months as it used to.  Just diagnosis of certain chronic health problems - COPD, Heart issues, etc.

Good luck and thank you for looking out for your fellow man.

[BearSchlong 8094]

Sadly, my friend’s condition has deteriorated quite rapidly. Reportedly he is in back in ICU and is unconscious. My friend has medical power of attorney and is consulting with the medical staff about signing a DNR. I'll be flying home for a day and will more than likely just get to say goodbye.

In hindsight, it looks like I was quite the optimist.

[tx 3 putt 76958]

RiP 

[BearSchlong 8094]

Yep. At 10:05 pm.

Some of our other friends were with him. I was in flight. Sepsis, high fever, ventilator, organ failure. The hospital is “Uh, where do we send him now?”

Told them the local friendly funeral parlor, we will sort out the details tomorrow.

[torre 1285]

15 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

 it looks like I was quite the optimist.

Don't change, Bear.    Props to you !

[Nice Guy Eddie 13512]

Sorry for your loss. I'm sure this guy was more appreciative than you will ever know for the kindness and care that you and others showed him.