Dog Killer, Kristi Noem

[UrbanAchiever 276]

6 hours ago, YGIFS said:

if anybody needs a laugh this morning, call 605-773-323 and say, "I'm with the office of Supreme Leader, Kim Jung-Un and would like to schedule a follow-up meeting."  The tirade that the woman throws is the pep in your step you're looking for.  

Are you going to make us guess the 10th digit?

[YGIFS 19449]

605-773-3212.  My bad.  Big hands.  Smell like cabbage.  You can call her campaign office as well.  They really don’t like it when you connect dead dogs to north Korea’s penchant for eating them.  But we are laughing.  

[Underdog 28477]

Called that number and pretended to be Corey L, told them to tell Kristi to see a Dr… I got the clap. 

[Francisco 2.0 32352]

 

 

 

[Art Vandelay 1712]

2 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

 

 

NRA? Seems like a bad fit considering her propensity to shoot herself in the foot.

[Pato del Muerto 52384]

How can I let her know that she looked better before all the face work?

[Brisketexan 104779]

Just now, Art Vandelay said:

NRA? Seems like a bad fit considering her propensity to shoot herself in the foot.

Yeah, but think about the opportunities for the new NRA-branded firearms for shooting dogs.

[Pato del Muerto 52384]

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

Yeah, but think about the opportunities for the new NRA-branded firearms for shooting dogs.

AK-9

pick an unnamed beebee size and call it dogshot. 

Edited May 6 by Pato del Muerto

[The Dog 43864]

@evargastv: “But clearly, if you're taking out of the book, it's because it's untrue.”

Noem: “I’ve given you my answer. No, and that's not the answer. I would say that, you know, I would say that, you know, this is something that I asked to have adjusted, and have the content and that name removed and that is — that is truly what the action has been.”

ht: @curtishouck_
 

https://www.threads.net/@gtconway3/post/C6pSd0sp6lC/?xmt=AQGzTqvIN-SWgkkfUBz7XdA84sy3ouUliugv20c6f-w2Cg

[Francisco 2.0 32352]

1 minute ago, Pato del Muerto said:

How can I let her know that she looked better before all the face work?

 

Somehow, someway it seems all the women in Trump's orbit (or who want to be) end up looking worse than when they started.

[Pancho 44584]

 

[Art Vandelay 1712]

6 minutes ago, The Dog said:

@evargastv: “But clearly, if you're taking out of the book, it's because it's untrue.”

Noem: “I’ve given you my answer. No, and that's not the answer. I would say that, you know, I would say that, you know, this is something that I asked to have adjusted, and have the content and that name removed and that is — that is truly what the action has been.”

ht: @curtishouck_
 

https://www.threads.net/@gtconway3/post/C6pSd0sp6lC/?xmt=AQGzTqvIN-SWgkkfUBz7XdA84sy3ouUliugv20c6f-w2Cg

Pretty sure this isn't how you're supposed to do damage control.

[speed817 19161]

 

 

[Hank Kingsley 20800]

My god. 

 

[WhatTheBuck 28729]

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

Yeah, but think about the opportunities for the new NRA-branded firearms for shooting dogs.

Bitch had it comin’ 12-gauge. 

[TexArcher 37662]

Why the fuck would Kim Jong Un want to have a conversation with the governor of the least important state in America?

[miguelito 11225]

I could never be a professional interviewer.

 

Noem: I don't have conversations about my conversations. 

Miguelito: What the hell does that even mean, you stupid, ugly bitch?

[Hefeweizen 5307]

2 minutes ago, miguelito said:

I could never be a professional interviewer.

 

Noem: I don't have conversations about my conversations. 

Miguelito: What the hell does that even mean, you stupid, ugly bitch?

I’d hire you for interviewing people.

[Horn Dog 9693]

9 minutes ago, miguelito said:

I could never be a professional interviewer.

 

Noem: I don't have conversations about my conversations. 

Miguelito: What the hell does that even mean, you stupid, ugly bitch?

[brown water 3761]

This is Gus.  He joined our family about 6 years ago.  As a puppy, he was released from service dog school after biting a trainer.  We adopted him afterwards.  He is, quite possibly, the dumbest animal to ever walk this planet.  His dumbassery has provided our family countless hours of happiness.  He is also one of the most loving and gentle dogs I’ve ever known.  I’m grateful that Kristi Noem wasn’t his prior owner. 

 

[brown water 3761]

This is Jesse.  He joined our family about 2 years ago.  We don’t know his story. He was abandoned and nearly killed when tranquilized by animal control. The vet who treated him knew us and that we had other vizslas in the family.  We adopted him.  He is, quite possibly, the sweetest animal to ever walk this planet.  He can be slow to accept new people which we assume relates to being mistreated previously.  But once familiar he won’t leave your side.  I’m grateful that Kristi Noem wasn’t his prior owner. 

Edited May 7 by brown water

[Francisco 2.0 32352]

2 years ago.

https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2024/05/06/kristi-noem-dog-killing-story-00156290

Quote

Kristi Noem’s story about killing her dog made headlines across America. But it wasn’t news to people who worked on her first book, where the tale made it into a draft of the memoir before the publishing team nixed it.

Then, as now, Noem wanted the story in because it showed a decisive person who was unwilling to be bound by namby-pamby niceties, while others on the team — which included agents, editors and publicists at Hachette Book Group’s prestige Twelve imprint, and a ghostwriter — saw it as a bad-taste anecdote that would hurt her brand. The tale was ultimately cut, according to two people involved with the project.

 

Quote

In other words, they produced a typical pre-campaign book, where the first rule is to do no harm. Somewhat unusually for the genre, that book, 2022’s Not My First Rodeo: Lessons from the Heartland, landed the South Dakota governor on the New York Times’ bestseller list, adding to the consensus that the Donald Trump devotee had a big future in GOP politics.

What it didn’t do, of course, was spark a weeklong news cycle — and a round of obituaries for that same political future — by including a tale about Noem leading a 14-month-old wirehaired pointer named Cricket to a gravel pit and shooting him to death after he ruined a pheasant hunt and killed a neighbor’s chickens.

 

Quote

This time around, Noem has a different team in place, as well as a different imprint, Hachette’s conservative-leaning Center Street. And the folks behind her new book, No Going Back, didn’t get in the way of sharing memories about gunning down an ill-trained puppy.

A Noem spokesperson did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

 

Spoiler

It’s been a busy week for that communications team, and not just for Cricket-related reasons. The book’s fact-checking has also been called into question: Last week, the Dakota Scout reported on a passage of the book in which Noem claims to have met the dictator of North Korea while she was serving as a backbencher in Congress. The improbable meeting never happened.

Shortly afterward, Noem’s spokesperson told my colleague Ryan Lizza that “the publisher will be addressing conflated world leaders’ names in the book before it is released.” Still unspecified: Just which world leader Noem could possibly have conflated with Kim Jong Un. The 300-pound despot with the gravity-defying haircut is not exactly your run-of-the-mill interchangeable foreign statesman.

After days of social-media mockery from fellow governors, headlines along the lines of NOEM DEFENDS DOG SLAYING, and awkward interviews like the one with an incredulous Margaret Brennan on Face the Nation, the book booboos more or less defined Noem’s brand by the end of the weekend.

The governor, sticking to her political brand, didn’t go back. She described the killing as the kind of tough decision you have to make on the farm — and contrasted her decisiveness with Joe Biden’s failure to act after his own chronically ill-behaved German Shepherd attacked Secret Service staffers.

The ongoing Noem spectacle is, to put it mildly, not the kind of roll-out that typically accompanies a look-at-me book by a national-politics wannabe. But it is an interesting window into the Washington industry of pre-campaign memoirs — where the goal of defining a brand is often at odds with the goal of producing interesting copy, and where nobody puts a great deal of emphasis on quality control or literary drama.

 MOST READ

Pro-Palestinian protesters are backed by a surprising source: Biden’s biggest donors

Russia detains US soldier on charges of theft

‘There’s vote-buying going on at a scale like we have never seen before’

‘Waste of a seat’: Manchin’s succession becomes a magnet for anti-establishment Republicans 

Sen. Mark Kelly: Kari Lake comments ‘could result in people getting hurt or killed’

Even within the grandiose political-memoir category, the rising-national-candidate subgenre historically stood out in its formulaic dullness. A big shot at the end of a career can at least describe being in the room when important things happened, or use a book to settle scores with folks readers might actually have heard of. A governor trying to establish a national footprint doesn’t have that kind of material to work with.

Which means that the tomes have typically been paint-by-numbers affairs in which a ghostwriter tries to spin some log-cabin yarns from the pol’s childhood, dramatize otherwise obscure old clashes over local political issues, and maybe toss in a nod to the noble responsibility that came with commanding their state’s National Guard.

“It was their calling card,” said Larry Weissman, a New York-based literary agent who sells lots of political books and was involved with then-Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper’s (actually well-reviewed) 2016 memoir. “It gave them an excuse to do more media and tour around the country. But they always play it incredibly safe and so they’re boring AF. And so nobody really reads them.”

But just because they’re not usually meant to be read doesn’t mean they’re not meant to be purchased. Especially now, in an age when the line between cable-TV political provocateur and actual elected official has blurred, a book by a telegenic rising political star might sell for the same reason as a book by a talking-head figure like Mark Levin: People buy it as a sort of tribal emblem for their politics.

Noem’s first book is a case in point: It sold 100,000 copies across all formats and made the New York Times bestseller list, an easy win for its publisher. “The industry doesn’t think much of these books but they may make easy money for a publisher,” is how one top agent put it to me, speaking anonymously, perhaps because the agency would like to keep working in this line of business.

Thanks to the economics of book publishing — where a single smash hit balances out a string of mediocre sellers — publishers also know that there’s always a chance that the vicissitudes of politics could lead to gold even with mediocre sellers: Consider the memoir by the unknown Harvard Law School graduate Barack Obama, which became a bestseller years later when the future president’s star rose.

But for every book like that, there are volumes by supposedly can’t-miss candidates like Marco Rubio that disappear along with the politician’s fortunes.

Now the second Noem book is unintentionally highlighting that often-overlooked other factor in campaign books: Quality control.

Ordinarily, few of the players have much motivation to care about excellence. For the publisher, it’s the politician’s name that’s going to make a book sell or flop. For an ambitious pol trying to build a brand, repeating political nostrums often seems a better way to do so than pushing the literary envelope.

It doesn’t help that the pols’ production process can be hasty — and facilitated by loyalists. “They will often be crashed, so they come in late, and then they’re edited quickly,” said Weissman.

“There is this tendency among politicians to hire staffers or somebody who maybe doesn’t have the wherewithal or stature to be able to push back and say, hey, the story you want to tell isn’t imparting the point that you want to make,” said Keith Urbahn of the Beltway literary agency Javelin, which has sold scores of political memoirs from pols ranging from Adam Schiff to Ted Cruz. (Javelin also represented Noem on her first book, though they declined comment on the behind-the-scenes processes for any specific authors.)

The campaign-book genre is so widely mocked that even its most convincing defense involves a calculus more interesting to journalists than to regular people who just want to curl up with a good book: The longtime book critic Carlos Lozada, whose recent collection, The Washington Book, is all about Beltway lit, has argued that campaign books are a place pols tell on themselves by the way they shade things or position stories. But that requires a kind of delving between the lines that for most civilians is different from actually reading for pleasure.

Noem’s new book — which doesn’t officially publish until May 7 — meets that standard: Whatever you think of putting down a dog for attacking a neighbor’s chickens, the decision to keep the story in the book also seems to show a political culture so devoted to shocking establishment nostrums that it fails to recognize how loving dogs is a pretty mainstream piece of American culture. (I wrote an entire book about the lengths Americans will go to for their pets, and found it’s the rare factor in our national life that knows no party.)

And beyond the Cricket story, possibly making up an easily disprovable memory about meeting Kim Jong Un — or else confusing one of the world’s most recognizable tyrants with some random other person — is a quality-control problem altogether different from the usual one in which pols fill books with lame cliches. Newspapers and magazines stand behind the things they put out, but in book-publishing, the veracity of a work is entirely on the writer.

Javelin’s principals told me they thought the embarrassing round of publicity around Noem’s new book might be a reminder that quality actually matters, whether the goal is selling books or selling a candidacy. “You can’t fake being a bestseller for weeks,” Urbahn said.

“Somebody who has a big platform can get on TV the week their book comes out and sell a certain number of copies,” said Matt Latimer, who runs the agency with Urbahn. “But if your book isn’t any good content, or there are all kinds of errors in it, you don’t have that tail — and what you really want, and what a publisher wants, is a book by someone prominent that lasts more than a week. And that’s why content, fact-checking, research, saying something new and interesting, or having an argument matters.”

Sounds good to me, but there’s also an irony about the story that has Noem in so much hot water: If I were editing a memoir by some public figure in or out of politics, and it included a story about intentionally killing their dog, I would absolutely include it — it’s a fascinatingly unusual tale, so different from the typical self-aggrandizing autobiographer, one that raises huge questions and reveals something about character. I bet audiences would agree.

Of course, thinking of the audience in terms of readers rather than voters is why I’m a writer, not a PR ace.

“We try to be a full service agency that is looking around corners, anticipating problems, ultimately creating the most commercial version of a book that is in keeping with the author’s intended goals,” Urbahn said.

We’ll find out soon enough whether the Cricket story made the book more interesting to readers: It comes out Tuesday, but spent the last week on Amazon’s top 1,000 even before publication day. As for what the choice means for her political future, we may need to wait just a little longer.

 

Edited May 7 by Francisco 2.0

[Francisco 2.0 32352]

1 hour ago, TexArcher said:

Why the fuck would Kim Jong Un want to have a conversation with the governor of the least important state in America?

 

You know, the next day or so Kim Jong Un has the chance to do the funniest thing by having the DPRK release the news that he has never met her, nor has any idea who she is.

[Born to Run 6568]

This is Jesse.  He joined our family about 2 years ago.  We don’t know his story. He was abandoned and nearly killed when tranquilized by animal control. The vet who treated him knew us and that we had other vizlas in the family.  We adopted him.  He is, quite possibly, the sweetest animal to ever walk this planet.  He can be slow to accept new people which we assume relates to being mistreated previously.  But once familiar he won’t leave your side.  I’m grateful that Kristi Noem wasn’t his prior owner. 

Nice looking pups.
This guy was roaming around for weeks before someone could capture him. Very traumatized at first when we fostered (and failed at fostering), ate furniture, shoes, clothes, hats etc. Probably $1000 in damage.
Deserved a blasting? Hell No!


Now he knows dozens of commands and is a good boy.

[jimmyjazz 45621]

Seeing photos of dumb sweet dogs makes me happy.  The idea of someone shooting one because it (gasp) killed a chicken makes me ragey.

[Biff Tannen 45551]

3 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

 

 

Da komrade 

[Francisco 2.0 32352]

Meet Oscar.  We adopted him from a shelter in June 2020.  He was 10 weeks old when we brought him home.  No idea on the lineage; maybe some pit bull, some boxer, etc.    I'm sure the Governor would have executed him because he is too energetic.

 

['stache 21778]

Before we had kids my wife made us get this guy. Biggest mistake of our lives. Yeah he's cute, but he chewed up half our furniture, barked like hell when we tried to make him spend more time in the back yard, started clawing under the fence, and found a way to climb the fuck over it, and we live in a very heavily trafficked part of town. I still hate that dumb son of a bitch. We tried a trainer and they hated him more than I did. My wife found him a home with a work friend's cousin on a ranch where he apparently spent his time chasing rabbits and harassing the neighbors cattle through the fence. We live in the city and he was just not meant to live in the city. It's not that fucking hard to find a home for these beasts whatever their personalities. 

Edited May 7 by 'stache

[jimmyjazz 45621]

This is our dumbass chihuahua Pluto, relaxing in her new dog bed that we bought yesterday.  We got the new bed because she had a bad case of fleas, leading us to toss the old bed.  She thinks she's a Doberman pinscher.  She's roughly as dangerous as one of those fleas.  Oh, and she has 13 nipples.

Edited May 7 by jimmyjazz

[Hefeweizen 5307]

Vizslas are frequently Dumas. 
 

here’s mine:

 

 

[Born to Run 6568]

Seeing photos of dumb sweet dogs makes me happy.  The idea of someone shooting one because it (gasp) killed a chicken makes me ragey.

Mr Charles isn't dumb. He learned, sit, stay, laydown, rollover, shake (both hands), high five in about 5 hours. I know I know 2 hrs is the typical Republican attention span before resorting to murderous violence if you don't get your way.

[Mango4 189]

2 hours ago, TexArcher said:

Why the fuck would Kim Jong Un want to have a conversation with the governor of the least important state in America?

She wasn’t even Governor then! She was a junior Congresswoman. It’s such a stupid lie but it’s par for the course for her. All she does is lie. She campaigned to repeal the grocery tax and then did absolutely nothing. Her first campaign for Governor, she ran on having the most open and transparent governorship in SD history but she routinely denies state media’s interview requests and hides her use of the state plane because of…reasons. She’s the fucking worst. 

[safe sex 11688]

Cats own.

[StassneyHorn 6563]

 

This is Marty. He was my everything. My alarm clock. My daily jumpstart. Sure he could be a real asshole and wake people up, but he wasn’t some yappy ass dog.

-Kristi

[Born to Run 6568]

Meet Oscar.  We adopted him from a shelter in June 2020.  He was 10 weeks old when we brought him home.  No idea on the lineage; maybe some pit bull, some boxer, etc.    I'm sure the Governor would have executed him because he is too energetic.
 

The DNA test is interesting. Mine is a snuggly cocktail of 20 different species including 18% pit, but also Staffy, Pug, Shitzu, Jack Russell, etc. American AF

[elfenix 34204]

19 minutes ago, safe sex said:

Cats own.

this is dog thread now go post about cats in the indicated thread

[Born to Run 6568]

Before we had kids my wife made us get this guy. Biggest mistake of our lives. Yeah he's cute, but he chewed up half our furniture, barked like hell when we tried to make him spend more time in the back yard, started clawing under the fence, and found a way to climb the fuck over it, and we live in a very heavily trafficked part of town. I still hate that dumb son of a bitch. We tried a trainer and they hated him more than I did. My wife found him a home with a work friend's cousin on a ranch where he apparently spent his time chasing rabbits and harassing the neighbors cattle through the fence. We live in the city and he was just not meant to live in the city. It's not that fucking hard to find a home for these beasts whatever their personalities. 

I had a troubled hound rescue. Showed up dumped with a broken leg, ate everything, hated men beside me, didn't trust me I made the hard decision to work with a rescue group drop about 3k on training and found her a good home in CO on 40 acres.

Wasn't the dogs fault she was born, I'll bred, abused and untrained. If we collectively create a troubled animal we should make it right without murder.

This is our dumbass chihuahua Pluto, relaxing in her new dog bed that we bought yesterday.  We got the new bed because she had a bad case of fleas, leading us to toss the old bed.  She thinks she's a Doberman pinscher.  She's roughly as dangerous as one of those fleas.  Oh, and she has 13 nipples.

Can you milk her, Fauker?

[Born to Run 6568]

Vizslas are frequently Dumas. 
 
here’s mine:
 
 

Least Vizla looking Vizla ever; but still a good boy/girl. Hoping you got some candles from Chad Briscoe given the relative proximity of Dumas and Pampa. Geographical oddities really.

[atomheartbevo 89500]

4 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

How can I let her know that she looked better before all the face work?

Print out a photo of her before the face work, jerk off on it, take a photo of the soiled photo, post it online.  It’s called a tribute photo.

[hookemATL 11612]

Shiner and Stella are more qualified to govern than this deranged fuckface.  I hope she gets the Ramsey Bolton treatment. 

[atomheartbevo 89500]

32 minutes ago, Mango4 said:

She wasn’t even Governor then! She was a junior Congresswoman. It’s such a stupid lie but it’s par for the course for her. All she does is lie. She campaigned to repeal the grocery tax and then did absolutely nothing. Her first campaign for Governor, she ran on having the most open and transparent governorship in SD history but she routinely denies state media’s interview requests and hides her use of the state plane because of…reasons. She’s the fucking worst. 

Avoiding answering the questions about meeting him is a great way to distract from the dog story.

[tx 3 putt 76567]

😂😂😂😂

 

[MidTexHorn 822]

1 hour ago, jimmyjazz said:

This is our dumbass chihuahua Pluto, relaxing in her new dog bed that we bought yesterday.  We got the new bed because she had a bad case of fleas, leading us to toss the old bed.  She thinks she's a Doberman pinscher.  She's roughly as dangerous as one of those fleas.  Oh, and she has 13 nipples.

Looks like my dumbass Stella, a rescue chihuahua. She hates everyone who doesn’t live in our house and tries to bite me when I go to put her leash on for a walk because she’s lazy as fuck. I love her dearly and I would shoot a bitch who tried to harm her. 

[Matuka 1305]

1 hour ago, Hefeweizen said:

Vizslas are frequently Dumas. 
 

here’s mine:

 

 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20354]

1 hour ago, Mango4 said:

She wasn’t even Governor then! She was a junior Congresswoman. It’s such a stupid lie but it’s par for the course for her. All she does is lie. She campaigned to repeal the grocery tax and then did absolutely nothing. Her first campaign for Governor, she ran on having the most open and transparent governorship in SD history but she routinely denies state media’s interview requests and hides her use of the state plane because of…reasons. She’s the fucking worst. 

Still ... would. 

[Mango4 189]

Still ... would. 

She’s so gross. Her face is even more fucked up in person.

[mchookem 16252]

this is Lula, a friend's little psycho. when you first arrive she's all excited to see you, runs and jumps in your arms and will pee a little she's so happy to see you. then she goes back to her spot and if you come within 5 feet, look out for killer. deserves a blasting? not this little bitch.

 

[YGIFS 19449]

8 hours ago, TexArcher said:

Why the fuck would Kim Jong Un want to have a conversation with the governor of the least important state in America?

Oklahoma has joined the call.  
 

so the simulation has now taken the position that the stupidest fucking people won’t converse about their conversing about their conversations regarding conversations?  
 

seriously if you’re bored this morning in rush hour, call the number above.  Ask if she shot cricket to present as an entree to North Korea.  The executive admin’s threatening tone is the funniest thing you’ll hear all week. 

[Hank Kingsley 20800]

 

[DigglerontheHoof 21095]

52 minutes ago, Hank Kingsley said:

 

This refusal to admit lies or mistakes by the GQP makes me as ragey as anything.  God fucking damnit I hate these miserable cunts.