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Official 2023 bitch about your family @ the Holidays thread

GhostOfTomJoad

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9,376

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5 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

T-giving has never been a big deal for our family.  This year, daughter is back home with us (yay....fucking boomerang shit, get a job, please).  Dad is an 85 yr old widower.  So, the 4 of us are going to take a nice drive out to Hyatt Lost Pines, hit their buffet, maybe walk the grounds a little bit, come back home, and be done with T-giving.

Limited effort.  Limited crowd.  Limited opportunities for drama.  Winning.

Pretty soon you’ll be old and dead. You have a wonderful family. Let her live with you. ❤️

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9,323

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22 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

I don't need gifts. I can buy anything I desire. It's a fucking beating buying these gifts for family every year because they want to do exchanges. Leave that to the kids.
 

This reminds me: After 10+ years of trying the passive-aggressive approach with the old man, this is the year when we put our foot down and refuse to send gift cards to him and his wife. What is dumber than having someone send you a GC and you send them one for the same amount? If he wasn't a luddite and paranoid about most things internet I'd explain it would be simpler and just as pointless to Venmo each other a couple hundred bucks. Enough with this shit. 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105,066

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This reminds me: After 10+ years of trying the passive-aggressive approach with the old man, this is the year when we put our foot down and refuse to send gift cards to him and his wife. What is dumber than having someone send you a GC and you send them one for the same amount? If he wasn't a luddite and paranoid about most things internet I'd explain it would be simpler and just as pointless to Venmo each other a couple hundred bucks. Enough with this shit. 

My dad lives across the street from a nice little breakfast joint. He takes himself there as a treat from time to time. He doesn’t need anything, so we get him a gift card for that place. It’s useful, and shows we are at least paying attention.

But yeah, long ago, he and my mom just decided to give everyone cash for Xmas. It’s most appreciated.
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Longboard Horn

Longboard Horn 40,296

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5 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


My dad lives across the street from a nice little breakfast joint. He takes himself there as a treat from time to time. He doesn’t need anything, so we get him a gift card for that place. It’s useful, and shows we are at least paying attention.

But yeah, long ago, he and my mom just decided to give everyone cash for Xmas. It’s most appreciated.

That's exactly what I ask for. Cash or gift cards. One of my stepbrothers always donates money to a charity of my choice in my name which is always nice. 

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9,323

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1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:


My dad lives across the street from a nice little breakfast joint. He takes himself there as a treat from time to time. He doesn’t need anything, so we get him a gift card for that place. It’s useful, and shows we are at least paying attention.

But yeah, long ago, he and my mom just decided to give everyone cash for Xmas. It’s most appreciated.

We tried this in the early days of GC exchanging. We found some of the nicer restaurants in Fort Collins and would send them enough so they could splurge on a nice meal. Mind you've they're sleeping on piles of money & don't need anything but still tend to eat at the crappiest chain restaurants across the land. They always hated whatever 5-star place we'd try and we'd then have to hear about how that was a mistake. So it was Applebee's, Panera and TFIF cards for a few years. About 5 years ago they decided they only wanted Costco cards since they could use them in CO and Hawaii where they spend Jan - Mar each winter. So we dutifully sent Costco cards and would get Amazon cards in return. Again, what's the point?

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25,013

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I'll be spending my t-day with my adopted family. The only drama in the past 20 years has been a family member dropping into the deep hole of depression/addiction. She passed earlier this year.RIP.

She was the only one who ever caused drama so I thought we'd be in the clear.

Found out today that one of the grandkids came out as trans recently. 

This will be the first family holiday with that news. I'm happy for he/him, it's gonna be difficult in a family half full of devout catholics.

Not being a blood family member I'm usually the one the black sheep come to for rational conversation.

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9,376

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2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I'll be spending my t-day with my adopted family. The only drama in the past 20 years has been a family member dropping into the deep hole of depression/addiction. She passed earlier this year.RIP.

She was the only one who ever caused drama so I thought we'd be in the clear.

Found out today that one of the grandkids came out as trans recently. 

This will be the first family holiday with that news. I'm happy for he/him, it's gonna be difficult in a family half full of devout catholics.

Not being a blood family member I'm usually the one the black sheep come to for rational conversation.

You’re happy for him, correct?  Not he/him. 

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gofuckyourself

gofuckyourself 8,205

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58 minutes ago, pearlandhorn said:

Best part about thanksgiving this year?  My FIL is aggy. 

Texas is 9-1.  Aggy is 5-4.

Ask him if he can pick his favorite monumental aggy victory from the last few years:

- Hiring Jimbo and showing how brilliant and wealthy the aggy athletic program is

- The 20-- national championship

- 74-72 greatest aggy game of all time

- Top 5 finish!

- Extending Jimbo and showing how brilliant and wealthy the aggy athletic program is

- Firing Jimbo and showing how brilliant and wealthy the aggy athletic program is

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Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10,960

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I may have some tales to tell this year.  Things are already off to a great start.  We are doing Thanksgiving with my wife's brother and his family - so there will be very little drama there.

Christmas will be at my folks' place in Plantersville and should be enough drama to make up for Thanksgiving.  This will be the first ever Christmas that my two brothers and I will spend together with my parents.  I've mentioned this before in previous Holiday threads, but I have an older "long lost" full brother who my parents gave up for adoption while they were together in high school - turns out "free love" comes with consequences.  Through the magic of Ancestry DNA, we were all reunited in 2019.  Schedules have not aligned for a family Christmas together until this year.  BTW - oldest brother was born on Christmas Eve 1968, so this will be the first time we get to celebrate his birthday together as a family.  There is a LOT of pressure for this year's Christmas to be a wonderful family time.

I started the ball rolling with planning back in September, letting everyone know the dates that my wife and I were planning to be at my parents' place.  I got laughed at for being the nerd who plans things a whole three months in advance.  I hear squat from the brothers since then. 

I'm not a Scrooge, but I'm also not planning on buying gifts for every step, half, and grand that may or may not show up "just in case," so I send out a family text last week suggesting a secret Santa gift exchange where all of the adults and older kids draw names.  One of my goals in doing this was to get a count of everyone who was planning to be there.  My older brother and his family will be coming in from Utah.  My wife and I are coming from Tulsa.  My younger brother and his two kids live with my folks (another story altogether).  My parents have a very large home, but lodging plans are no simple task when considering the numbers that will be descending upon them.  I'm just trying to have reasonable justification for the fact that the wife and I are planning to stay at a nearby hotel.

Younger brother fails to notice that Mom and Dad are included in the text thread, so he's doing his cool kid act and bantering with older brother and his wife, making crude and inappropriate jokes.  Mom and Dad don't reply in the thread, but apparently there was some in-person discussion with younger brother about his language and subject matter.  So I get an angry text from younger brother texting that I should warn him when the "parentals" are included in a text thread.

 

TLDR... big pressure for a Griswold family Christmas, so I try to get the ball rolling on planning and get laughed at and bitched at for my efforts.  Drama and hilarity will no doubt ensue.

  

  

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Armybrat

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19 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I'll be spending my t-day with my adopted family. The only drama in the past 20 years has been a family member dropping into the deep hole of depression/addiction. She passed earlier this year.RIP.

She was the only one who ever caused drama so I thought we'd be in the clear.

Found out today that one of the grandkids came out as trans recently. 

This will be the first family holiday with that news. I'm happy for he/him, it's gonna be difficult in a family half full of devout catholics.

Not being a blood family member I'm usually the one the black sheep come to for rational conversation.

Mrs. Brat’s side of the family are all devout Catholics. None of them had a problem with the two same sex marriages of their cousins. In fact the male cousin was encouraged by them to marry his SO of 50 years before he passed away.

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25,013

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8 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Mrs. Brat’s side of the family are all devout Catholics. None of them had a problem with the two same sex marriages of their cousins. In fact the male cousin was encouraged by them to marry his SO of 50 years before he passed away.

Thanks for the encouragement.  I don't think there will be an issue of acceptance, just confusion from ignorance.

They took my delinquent ass in as one of there own when I was a teenager. 

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usmc0331horn

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Last year my partner's cousin died of a fentanyl overdose and I met her family for the first time in Houston in the midst of all that, which was just tons of unbridled fun. This year she is coming up to Kansas City with me for the first time to meet my mom and see my extended family so hopefully we have a nice time without something terrible happening.

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pearlandhorn

pearlandhorn 3,269

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4 hours ago, pearlandhorn said:

Best part about thanksgiving this year?  My FIL is aggy. 

Texas is 9-1.  Aggy is 5-4.

All jokes aside, outside of my wife, son and parents, my FIL is probably the coolest and most genuine guy I know.  He's just a redass aggy.  He can't so no to helping others out, especially his family. 

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25,013

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2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I never understand why dysfunctional seemingly go out of their way to get together. It creates great stories but I don't understand it.

I've learned through much therapy that the narcissist craves the conflict and misery they can cause. Much like Colin Robinson , they feed on that dysfunction. In their fucked up heads that means they are the rulers of their universe, and we their subjects to fuck with.

 

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Longboard Horn

Longboard Horn 40,296

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On 11/1/2023 at 3:52 PM, SimonBolivar said:

Thanksgiving is off to a great start!

 

My brother is in the process of divorcing his wife of 22 years while bringing the side chick in like she's been around all the time. My other brother is a coach, so his family (only one with kids) won't be able to make it which means that it'll be just my aging parents, my wife, me, my brother, and his side chick that he's been cheating on his wife with for a totally not awkward and weird Thanksgiving. I promise to never to complain about leaving early to get to my in-laws' house ever again.

 

 

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Now if we find out your parents are taking all of y'all to Luby's for Thanksgiving lunch that'll be the cherry on top. 

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9,323

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Just found out we're driving to Kerrville early Thanksgiving morning to spend it w/ the MIL, the BIL and possibly his college-aged son if he's not working that day. Should be chill, and although the MIL is not much of a cook it at least won't be a fussy meal on fine china. She hates turkey so I'd guess a ham w/ some fixings and my wife will make the potatoes. Throw in some wine and the BIL is normally good for some speyside and a cigar or two and it should be an alright time. We'll spend the night and head back first thing Fri morning. And...scene.

 

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Chewbacca

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On 11/14/2023 at 3:14 PM, MissingInAction said:

I've learned through much therapy that the narcissist craves the conflict and misery they can cause. Much like Colin Robinson , they feed on that dysfunction. In their fucked up heads that means they are the rulers of their universe, and we their subjects to fuck with.

 

Yeah, I've got a couple of those in my family.  That's why I haven't talked to them in 5 years.

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dcbc

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This is my favorite thread of the year, and it's off to a good start.  Our Thanksgivings have been pretty tame for the last couple of decades ever since my "step-grandmother" with her at-the-table,  racist comments about her WalMart coworkers in Sealy, Texas" was out of the picture. 

 

So my mom is in an assisted living facility about 15 minutes from us and has been since 2020.  Since she moved here, we no longer had to make the trek to Houston for the holidays and my sister and her daughter come to us (occasionally, my wife's dad and step-mother join us along with my Uncle and his new-ish wife).  Anyway, this year, it's just my wife and I, our two sons, my mom, my sister, and her daughter.  Great success!
 
My sister and I split up cooking duties.  This year, I'm handling the turkey, the dress, the gravy, the rolls, and some bread.  She's got mashed taters, green beans, and apps.  My wife is handling dessert.  Easy.  But there's a hint of of past conflict that I may twist a little for amusement's sake.  It starts with my taking over gravy duty.  My mom always made some baller gravy, the base of which was Heinz gravy in the jar, to which she added milled vegetables from beneath the roasted turkey and drippings.  Along with something to make it darker (probably Brown 'n' Serve).  Last year, my sister brought a jar of gravy and some sauteed veges that were diced up in the blender.   Twas not that great.  So this year, I took over the gravy.  I spoke to her on the phone the other night and told her how I'd worked my ass off on the gravy, explaining the process.  She jokingly said that I'd gravy-shamed her.  All in good fun.  
 
So here's the weirdness.  In 1982, when my grandmother was in her last hospital stay, my sister went to visit her and got her to give her the recipe to what she now calls, "Mamaw Bread."  It's a dense white bread with a very soft crust and has a short shelf life.  It's tasty, but nothing earth shattering.  But when she first made it for our family and we asked her for the recipe, she refused to give it to us, saying she would pass it down to her daughter.  I gave her sufficient hell over this because secret recipes are ridiculous and it's about process and technique, blah-blah-blah.  No dice.  
 
For several years, I, who was not much of a baker tried to crack the code and create a good spite recipe for my grandmother's bread.  I really didn't get close, but I did proceed to get a lot better at making bread, most of which was better anyway.  Well, last years, she shows up for our Christmas gathering with loaves of Mamaw Bread as gifts.  And during the holidays, I took a crack or two at getting a close clone of the leftovers we took home.  I got closest with a modified loaf of Amish White Bread.  And before moving on with life after the holidays, I remember thinking that using all milk instead of half-milk/half-water in the recipe would soften up the crust and get as close as to make no difference.   I started planning the rolls and trying to decipher my wife's grandmother's recipe for that (because of course, the written-down version has no amounts for flour and seems to be written in reverse), when I remember something about using 100% milk in the spite bread recipe, which I took on again because the texture of the rolls was similar. But since it hasn't been a matter of utmost importance to me, I never wrote the recipe tests down with my other recipes.  But thankfully, I'd emailed the recipe to my wife. 
 
So tonight, the bread lab is cranking up.  My mom has been raving about the sourdough bread I've been making for her lately, and I said I'd bring some to Thanksgiving.  I'll also be bringing some of the spite bread to serve alongside the sourdough bread and the rolls.  No point will be made of it.  It simply will be there.  I'll see if it raises any eyebrows or leads to accusations of recipe theft.  
 
Sorry, all I have is self-manufactured drama as the younger brother.

 

edited to add that I now realize that my life is, in part, a lower tier episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.  
 

Edited by dcbc
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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25,920

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2 minutes ago, dcbc said:

This is my favorite thread of the year, and it's off to a good start.  Our Thanksgivings have been pretty tame for the last couple of decades ever since my "step-grandmother" with her at-the-table,  racist comments about her WalMart coworkers in Sealy, Texas" was out of the picture.  So my mom is in an assisted living facility about 15 minutes from us and has been since 2020.  Since she moved here, we no longer had to make the trek to Houston for the holidays and my sister and her daughter come to us (occasionally, my wife's dad and step-mother join us along with my Uncle and his new-ish wife.  But this year, it's just my wife and I, our two sons, my mom, my sister, and her daughter.  

 

My sister and I split up cooking duties.  This year, I'm handling the turkey, the dress, the gravy, the rolls, and some bread.  She's got mashed taters, green beans, and apps.  My wife is handling dessert.  Easy.  But there's a hint of of past conflict that I may twist a little for amusement's sake.  It starts with my taking over gravy duty.  My mom always made some baller gravy, the base of which was Heinz gravy in the jar, to which she added milled vegetables from beneath the roasted turkey and drippings.  Along with something to make it darker (probably Brown 'n' Serve).  Last year, my sister brought a jar of gravy and some sauteed veges that were diced up in the blender.   Twas not that great.  So this year, I took over the gravy.  I spoke to her on the phone the other night and told her how I'd worked my ass off on the gravy, explaining the process.  She jokingly said that I'd gravy-shamed her.  All in good fun.  

 

So here's the weirdness.  In 1982, when my grandmother was in her last hospital stay, my sister went to visit her and got her to give her the recipe to what she now calls, "Mamaw Bread."  It's a dense white bread with a very soft crust and has a short shelf life.  It's tasty, but nothing earth shattering.  But when she first made it for our family and we asked her for the recipe, she refused to give it to us, saying she would pass it down to her daughter.  I gave her sufficient hell over this because secret recipes are ridiculous and it's about process and technique, blah-blah-blah.  No dice.  

 

For several years, I, who was not much of a baker tried to crack the code and create a good spite recipe for my grandmother's bread.  I really didn't get close, but I did proceed to get a lot better at making bread, most of which was better anyway.  Well, last years, she shows up for our Christmas gathering with loaves of Mamaw Bread as gifts.  And during the holidays, I took a crack or two at getting a close clone of the leftovers we took home.  I got closest with a modified loaf of Amish White Bread.  And before moving on with life after the holidays, I remember thinking that using all milk instead of half-milk/half-water in the recipe would soften up the crust and get as close as to make no difference.   I started planning the rolls and trying to decipher my wife's grandmother's recipe for that (because of course, the written-down version has no amounts for flour and seems to be written in reverse), when I remember something about using 100% milk in the spite bread recipe.  But since it hasn't been a matter of utmost importance to me, I never wrote the recipe tests down with my other recipes.  But thankfully, I'd emailed the recipe to my wife. 

 

So tonight, the bread lab is cranking up.  My mom has been raving about the sourdough bread I've been making for her lately, and I said I'd bring some to Thanksgiving.  I'll also be bringing some of the spite bread to serve alongside the sourdough bread and the rolls.  No point will be made of it.  It simply will be there.  I'll see if it raises any eyebrows or leads to accusations of recipe theft.  

 

Sorry, all I have is self-manufactured drama as the younger brother.

pretty, pretty, pretty good.

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45,665

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We are spending Thanksgiving with the in laws (my parents are in Europe for thanksgiving) at their new house that they've been moving into for like 3 months and are still not even halfway done.  It's been a complete cluster fuck.  I haven't heard peep about what they are doing about food.  I guarantee they are thinking they can order a turkey (they don't ever cook their own) to pick up like Wednesday afternoon.  I'm looking forward to the mad panic when they realize there's nothing available.

Maybe I'll just go to Crown and Anchor.  They always have a good spread.

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5 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

We are spending Thanksgiving with the in laws (my parents are in Europe for thanksgiving) at their new house that they've been moving into for like 3 months and are still not even halfway done.  It's been a complete cluster fuck.  I haven't heard peep about what they are doing about food.  I guarantee they are thinking they can order a turkey (they don't ever cook their own) to pick up like Wednesday afternoon.  I'm looking forward to the mad panic when they realize there's nothing available.

Maybe I'll just go to Crown and Anchor.  They always have a good spread.

A burger and a game of pool wouldn't be the worst Thanksgiving.

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