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Chemical Explosion in East Texas

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crash_davis

crash_davis 23113

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

Oh, and as the crow flies this is about 30-35 miles N of me.  Hope it doesn't start raining liquid smoke. 

You are in luck. The front is moving through tomorrow which will switch the wind from the north. You too will soon enjoy the flavor.

Edited by crash_davis
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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52510

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Posted (edited)

Product list has a lot of petro products, along with some cleaning detergents.  And if their website QC is any indicator, they are great at paying attention to the details for things like safety. 
 

Quote

SRS Tank Wash and Line Claaner

Guessing they buy bulk in tank trucks and totes from refineries, and have fill lines to fill jugs and bottles with their labels. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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C-Man

C-Man 27230

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Posted
1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Product list has a lot of petro products, along with some cleaning detergents.  And if their website QC is any indicator, they are great at paying attention to the details for things like safety. 
 

Guessing they buy bulk in tank trucks and totes from refineries, and have fill lines to fill jugs and bottles with their labels. 

I see the Kruse Family has diversified their holdings from just ice cream 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105154

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Posted
1 hour ago, Patricio Swayze said:


I have never eaten at Golden Corral. And it’s been 20 years since I have had Taco Bell. Adding that to my resume.

Golden Corral....had never eaten at one.  Maybe 10 years ago, had a meeting in a small town that wrapped up right before lunch.  There was a Golden Corral across the street, I said what the hell, why not?

God, it was depressing.  And as mediocre to bad as you'd expect.

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C-Man

C-Man 27230

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42 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Golden Corral....had never eaten at one.  Maybe 10 years ago, had a meeting in a small town that wrapped up right before lunch.  There was a Golden Corral across the street, I said what the hell, why not?

God, it was depressing.  And as mediocre to bad as you'd expect.

It's just terrible. I was out in West Texas covering a HS volleyball or basketball tournament in Abilene or Midland 20+ years ago. The photog, who was out there with me, suggested we go to Golden Corral. What a depressing place. Morbidly obese fat people everywhere stacking their plates to the ceiling with a mish-mash of "culinary cuisines" with barefooted rug rats tugging on their mu-mu's. After punching the alcoholic photog in the parking lot, I vowed to never return to GC. I've kept my word.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105154

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Posted
6 minutes ago, C-Man said:

It's just terrible. I was out in West Texas covering a HS volleyball or basketball tournament in Abilene or Midland 20+ years ago. The photog, who was out there with me, suggested we go to Golden Corral. What a depressing place. Morbidly obese fat people everywhere stacking their plates to the ceiling with a mish-mash of "culinary cuisines" with barefooted rug rats tugging on their mu-mu's. After punching the alcoholic photog in the parking lot, I vowed to never return to GC. I've kept my word.

Bingo.

But then....maybe I shouldn't tell you about the time that @Pescado_Rojo ended up hitting up the Shoney's breakfast buffet on Seawall Blvd. in Galveston....in our camo waders.  Good enough breakfast on a chilly day.

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Leeroy Jenkins

Leeroy Jenkins 2404

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53 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Golden Corral....had never eaten at one.  Maybe 10 years ago, had a meeting in a small town that wrapped up right before lunch.  There was a Golden Corral across the street, I said what the hell, why not?

God, it was depressing.  And as mediocre to bad as you'd expect.

They were not bad back in 1981.  

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Bevo

Bevo 13578

Posted
Posted
54 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Golden Corral....had never eaten at one.  Maybe 10 years ago, had a meeting in a small town that wrapped up right before lunch.  There was a Golden Corral across the street, I said what the hell, why not?

God, it was depressing.  And as mediocre to bad as you'd expect.

image.thumb.jpeg.e82c7807f997e0d48e043a2d56ced1ac.jpeg

 

 

 

 

 

I know, but same dif

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High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11050

Posted
Posted
58 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Golden Corral....had never eaten at one.  Maybe 10 years ago, had a meeting in a small town that wrapped up right before lunch.  There was a Golden Corral across the street, I said what the hell, why not?

God, it was depressing.  And as mediocre to bad as you'd expect.

 

Did it have a chocolate fountain? If so, was the chocolate fountain exposed so that any young (or young at heart) could just stick their finger in it to get a little taste?

If your answer to either question is "no" then I'm sorry but you didn't get the full Golden Corral experience.

 

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20966

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

I mean if this is a thread about toxic explosions that has devolved into all you can eat buffet talk....

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcShcEoS_dl4ER3jN_GEKdC

i don't know how this story occupied a long unused fold in a dark corner of my brain, but it did and likely was from the shaggy days? I'm not sure if this originally came from aggy, but that is where i found it just now

Spoiler

 

Quote

The Ryan's Steakhouse Story

by Anonymous

Now, I know that there is a lot of embellishment that occurs on this group and I am aware that a small number of things are perhaps sheer fabrication, but I have a story to tell that is the absolute truth.

Funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining the little *******s. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.

We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening, I tell you - in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, however.

I had not really been feeling well all day, what with a bit of gas and such. By the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I was in real trouble. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. At first I thought it was only gas, which could have been passed in batches right at the table without too much concern.

Unfortunately, that was not to be. After a minute or so it was clear that I was dealing with explosive diarrhea. It's amazing how grease can make its way through your intestines far faster than the food which spawned the grease to begin with, but I digress... I got up from the table and made my way to the bathroom. Upon entering, I saw two sinks immediately inside the door, two urinals just to the right of the sinks, and two toilet stalls against the back wall. One of them was a handicapped bathroom. Now, normally I would have gone to the handicapped stall since I like to stretch out a bit when I take a good ****. But in this case, the door lock was broken and the only thing I hate worse than my wife telling me to stop cutting my toenails with a pair of diagonal wire-cutters is having someone walk in on me while I am taking a ****.

I went to the normal stall. In retrospect, I probably should have gone to the large, handicapped stall even though the door would not lock because that bit of time lost in making the stall switch proved to be a bit too long under the circumstances. By the time I had walked into the regular stall, the pressure on my ass was reaching Biblical portions. I began "The Move."

For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain "The Move." Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of **** at the exact same second that one’s ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer.

I was about halfway into "The Move" when I looked down at the floor and saw a pile of vomit that had been previously expelled by one of those little *******s attending kids night. It was mounded up in the corner so I did not notice it when I had first walked into the stall. Normally, I would not have been bothered by such a thing, but I had eaten so much and the pressure upward was so intense, that I hit a rarely experienced gag reflex. And once that reflex started, combined with the intense pressure upward caused by the bloated stomach, four plates of macaroni and beef started coming up for a rematch.

What happened next was so quick that the exact sequence of events is a bit fuzzy, but I will try to reconstruct them as best I can. In that moment of impending projectile vomiting, my attention was diverted from the goings-on at the other end. To put a freeze frame on the situation, I was half crouched down to the toilet, pants pulled down to my knees, with a load of vomit coming up my eso****us.

Now, most of you know that vomiting takes precedence over **** no matter what is about to come slamming out of your ass. It is apparently an evolutionary thing since ****ting will not kill you, but vomiting takes a presence of mind to accomplish so that you do not aspirate any food into the bronchial tubes and perhaps choke to death. My attention was thus diverted. At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can only be described as a wake...you know, as in a newspaper headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In Wake of Typhoon Fifi" or something similar. In what seemed to be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous plug of **** the consistency of thick mud with embedded pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass.

But remember, I was only halfway down on the toilet at that moment. The **** wave was of such force, and of just such an angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat, that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed into the wall - at an angle of incidence equal to the angle at which it initially hit the toilet seat. Then I sat down. Recall that when that event occurred, I was already halfway to sitting anyway and had actually reached the point of no return. I have always considered myself as relatively stable gravitationally, but when you get beyond a certain point, you're going down no matter how limber you may be. Needless to say, the **** wave, though of considerable force, was not so sufficient so as to completely glance off the toilet seat and deposit itself on the walls - unlike what you would see when hitting a puddle with a high-pressure water hose; even though you throw water at the puddle, the puddle gets moved and no water is left to re-form a puddle. There was a significant amount of **** remaining on about one-third of the seat rim which I had now just collapsed upon.

Now, back to the vomit...

While all the ****ting was going on, the vomit was still on its way up. By the time I had actually collapsed on the toilet, my mouth had filled up with a goodly portion of the macaroni and beef I had just consumed. OK, so what does the human body instinctively do when vomiting? One bends over. So I bent over. I was still sitting on the toilet, though. Therefore, bending over resulted in me placing my head above my now slightly-opened legs, positioned in between my knees and waist. Also directly above my pants which were now pulled down to a point just midway between my knees and my ankles. Oh, did I mention that I was wearing not just pants, but sweatpants with elastic on the ankles. In one mighty push, some three pounds of macaroni and beef, two or three Cokes, and a couple of Big, Fat Yeast Rolls were deposited in my pants...on the inside...with no ready exit at the bottom down by my feet. In the next several seconds, there were a handful of farts, a couple of turds, and the event ended. Yet I was now sitting there with my pants full of vomit, my back covered in **** that had bounced off the toilet, spattered on three ceramic-tiled walls to a height of about five feet, and still had enough force to come back at me, covering the back of my shirt with droplets of liquid ****. All while thick **** was spread all over my ass in a ring curiously in the shape of a toilet seat.

And there was no ****ing toilet paper. What could I do but laugh. I must have sounded like a complete maniac to the guy who then wandered into the bathroom. He actually asked if I was OK since I was laughing so hard I must have sounded like I was crying hysterically. I calmed down just enough to ask him if he would get the manager. And told him to have the manager bring some toilet paper. When the manager walked in, he brought the toilet paper with him, but in no way was prepared for what happened next. I simply told him that there was no way I was going to explain what was happening in the stall, but that I needed several wet towels and I needed him to go ask my wife to come help me. I told him where we were sitting and he left. At that point, I think he was probably assuming that I had pissed just a bit in my pants or something similarly benign.

About two minutes later, my wife came into the bathroom not knowing what was wrong and with a certain amount of worry in her voice. I explained to her (still laughing and having trouble getting out words) that I had a slight accident and needed her help. Knowing that I had experienced some close calls in the past, she probably assumed that I had laid down a small turd or something and just needed to bring the car around so we could bolt immediately. Until I asked her, I'm sure she had no idea that she was about to go across the street and purchase me new underwear, new socks, new pants, a new shirt, and (by that time due to considerable leakage around the elastic ankles thingies) new sneakers. And she then started to laugh herself since I was still laughing. She began to ask for an explanation as to what had happened when I promised her that I would tell her later, but that I just needed to handle damage control for the time being. She left.

The manager then came back in with a half-dozen wet towels and a few dry ones. I asked him to also bring a mop and bucket upon which he assured me that they would clean up anything that needed to be cleaned. Without giving him specific details, I explained that what was going on in that stall that night was far in excess of what I would expect anyone to deal with, what with most of the folks working at Ryan's making minimum wage of just slightly above. At that moment, I think it dawned on him exactly the gravity of the situation. Then that manager went so far above the call of duty that I will be eternally grateful for his actions. He hooked up a hose. Fortunately, commercial bathrooms are constructed with tile walls and tile floors and have a drain in the middle of the room in order to make clean up easy. Fortunately, I was in a commercial bathroom. He hooked up the hose to the spigot located under the sink as I began cleaning myself up with the wet towels.

Just as I was finishing, my wife got back with the new clothes and passed them into the stall, whereupon I stuffed the previously worn clothing into the plastic bag that came from the store, handing the bag to my wife. I finished cleaning myself off and carefully put on my new clothes, still stuck in the stall since I figured that it would be in bad taste to go out of the stall to get redressed, in the event I happened to be standing there naked and some little ******* kid walked in. At that point, I had only made a mess; I had not yet committed a felony and intended to keep it that way.

When I finished getting dressed, I picked up the hose and cleaned up the entire stall, washing down the remains toward the drain in the center of the room. I put down the hose and walked out of the bathroom. I had intended to go to the manager and thank him for all he had done, but when I walked out, three of the management staff were there to greet me with a standing ovation. I started laughing so hard that I thought I was going to throw up again, but managed to scurry out to the car where my wife was now waiting to pick me up by the front door.

The upshot of all this is that I strongly recommend eating dinner at Ryan's Steak House. They have, by far, the nicest management staff of any restaurant in which I have eaten.


****Just found out this was posted within the past few days and several times in the past decade, sue me... I thought it was hilarious****

 

Edited by Celery Man
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tx 3 putt

tx 3 putt 76988

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

Golden Corral....had never eaten at one.  Maybe 10 years ago, had a meeting in a small town that wrapped up right before lunch.  There was a Golden Corral across the street, I said what the hell, why not?

God, it was depressing.  And as mediocre to bad as you'd expect.


the new and modern Golden Corral, 

Meh Kinda GIF by Cultura

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Dendox

Dendox 102

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

i don't know how this story occupied a long unused fold in a dark corner of my brain, but it did and likely was from the shaggy days? I'm not sure if this originally came from aggy, but that is where i found it just now

  Hide contents

 

 

Hornfans.  its really old.  and hysterical.  thanks for the laugh and the memory.  

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Pescado_Rojo

Pescado_Rojo 19421

Posted
Posted
25 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Did it have a chocolate fountain? If so, was the chocolate fountain exposed so that any young (or young at heart) could just stick their finger in it to get a little taste?

If your answer to either question is "no" then I'm sorry but you didn't get the full Golden Corral experience.

 

the chocolate fountain comes about 45 minutes later...

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C-Man

C-Man 27230

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Did it have a chocolate fountain? If so, was the chocolate fountain exposed so that any young (or young at heart) could just stick their finger in it to get a little taste?

If your answer to either question is "no" then I'm sorry but you didn't get the full Golden Corral experience.

 

I don't remember if there was a chocolate fountain but let me tell you about the one time I went to Great Wolf Lodge for my son's 6th birthday about a decade ago. My ex-wife agreed to take a half-dozen kids out there and spend the day at the pools/water park. She paid for it but only on the condition that my current wife -- don't think we were married yet -- and I came out to relieve her and stay the night. First off, that place is expensive -- and full of people who have been saving for months to spend a week or so there. They're in from the "country."

Lots of hopped-up-on-sugar kids running around on some stupid Harry Potter treasure hunt/mystery that you buy a $50 wand for, etc. They just ply them with sugar all day long so they're literally bouncing off the walls. We took the boys to dinner, a buffet with a chocolate fondue fountain station. They did the whipped cream on my kids' face, the whole nine yards (RIP, Matthew Perry). My wife and I didn't eat the buffet. But I walked over with my son and saw the chocolate fountain. DIS-GUSTING. I think it was one of Cousin Eddie's kids walked up and stuck his fingers in the chocolate and then put them directly in his mouth. Yes, he went back in for more. He double-dipped as if one wasn't grotesque enough.

The kids retired to the room to watch movies while my wife and I went for a late dinner in the "adults only" area. This area served alcohol and was only separated from the rest of that shit-show by a rather thin wall so you could still hear all the screaming. Outback Steakhouse prices (maybe more) and not very good either. I think Great Wolf Lodge is one of Dante's stages of hell. We were given a $500 GF to Great Wolf by one of my wife's parents' friends for our wedding gift because I'm sure they thought we'd love to take the kids out there. I donated the card to one of our TDC event charity auction/raffles. I never want to set foot in a Great Wolf Lodge again.

33 minutes ago, Bevo said:

image.thumb.jpeg.e82c7807f997e0d48e043a2d56ced1ac.jpeg

 

 

 

 

 

I know, but same dif

Applebee's is several orders of magnitude further up the scale than Golden Corral.

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30246

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

Golden Corral....had never eaten at one.  Maybe 10 years ago, had a meeting in a small town that wrapped up right before lunch.  There was a Golden Corral across the street, I said what the hell, why not?

God, it was depressing.  And as mediocre to bad as you'd expect.

I think that the Golden Corral/ Walmart/ Carnival Cruise Venn Diagram might be a single circle

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105154

Posted
Posted
Just now, Gatorubet said:

I think that the Golden Corral/ Walmart/ Carnival Cruise Venn Diagram might be a single circle

Interestingly, enough, on the weekend when we hit the Shoneys in our waders, the PREVIOUS morning, our breakfast was the world's worst donuts from the Seawall Wal-Mart.  Dear God, it all connects.

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Bevo

Bevo 13578

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Posted
12 minutes ago, C-Man said:

I don't remember if there was a chocolate fountain but let me tell you about the one time I went to Great Wolf Lodge for my son's 6th birthday about a decade ago. My ex-wife agreed to take a half-dozen kids out there and spend the day at the pools/water park. She paid for it but only on the condition that my current wife -- don't think we were married yet -- and I came out to relieve her and stay the night. First off, that place is expensive -- and full of people who have been saving for months to spend a week or so there. They're in from the "country."

Lots of hopped-up-on-sugar kids running around on some stupid Harry Potter treasure hunt/mystery that you buy a $50 wand for, etc. They just ply them with sugar all day long so they're literally bouncing off the walls. We took the boys to dinner, a buffet with a chocolate fondue fountain station. They did the whipped cream on my kids' face, the whole nine yards (RIP, Matthew Perry). My wife and I didn't eat the buffet. But I walked over with my son and saw the chocolate fountain. DIS-GUSTING. I think it was one of Cousin Eddie's kids walked up and stuck his fingers in the chocolate and then put them directly in his mouth. Yes, he went back in for more. He double-dipped as if one wasn't grotesque enough.

The kids retired to the room to watch movies while my wife and I went for a late dinner in the "adults only" area. This area served alcohol and was only separated from the rest of that shit-show by a rather thin wall so you could still hear all the screaming. Outback Steakhouse prices (maybe more) and not very good either. I think Great Wolf Lodge is one of Dante's stages of hell. We were given a $500 GF to Great Wolf by one of my wife's parents' friends for our wedding gift because I'm sure they thought we'd love to take the kids out there. I donated the card to one of our TDC event charity auction/raffles. I never want to set foot in a Great Wolf Lodge again.

Applebee's is several orders of magnitude further up the scale than Golden Corral.

I'm not sure if I've been to either. I went to Macaroni's once.

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