University of Arizona and the curious case of the missing quarter billion dollars

[Evil Bill Obrien 3191]

 

How fired does the UA CFO have to be for messing up finances by a quarter billion?

 

[Gene Parmesan 3993]

[PilotsError 2282]

Didn't the dipshit at one of the Washington schools just do the same thing????

[Evil Bill Obrien 3191]

1 minute ago, PilotsError said:

Didn't the dipshit at one of the Washington schools just do the same thing????

Wazzu had a Athletics budget deficit, but it was a rounding error ($11.5 million) compared to what Arizona has gotten itself into

https://news.wsu.edu/news/2023/06/02/wsu-athletics-addresses-11-5-million-budget-deficit/

 

 

[gernblansten 3188]

4 minutes ago, Evil Bill Obrien said:

 

How fired does the UA CFO have to be for messing up finances by a quarter billion?

 

"In my defense, I tens of thousands of exhibits to show just how distracting it is to work here, leading to simple accounting errors. Ex. 1 of 37,185.."

[RabidM 2664]

okay then... someone is going to prison.  There's going to be a lot of fed money lost in that bundle.  The forensic audit should be very interesting.

[Dennis Taylor 18706]

1 minute ago, gernblansten said:

"In my defense, I tens of thousands of exhibits to show just how distracting it is to work here, leading to simple accounting errors. Ex. 1 of 37,185.."

U of A OnlyFans... deficit made up in record time

[Nicole44 22027]

I’m just traveling on the money, going where the waves are to finance my endless summer. The 50 year storm has hit Bell’s Beach, Australia and I will be there, man. 

[Not a cat 5619]

That's a shame.  Maybe the big 12 can advance them some of the 2024 TV money?  

[Evil Bill Obrien 3191]

1 minute ago, Dennis Taylor said:

U of A OnlyFans... deficit made up in record time

That legit might get them back in the black by Monday

[Native Horn 3492]

1 minute ago, Nicole44 said:

I’m just traveling on the money, going where the waves are to finance my endless summer. The 50 year storm has hit Bell’s Beach, Australia and I will be there, man. 

So Lady Bird Lake has waves?  Who knew?

[someguy 1476]

[Not a cat 5619]

3 minutes ago, Native Horn said:

So Lady Bird Lake has waves?  Who knew?

Only when Nicole's victim struggles.

[Nicole44 22027]

5 minutes ago, Not a cat said:

Only when Nicole's victim struggles.

 

[Evil Bill Obrien 3191]

From the Tucson paper article, one of the UA Physics professors just straight up suggested they sell the Athletics Department:

I guess Tucson is pretty similar climate to Saudi Arabia if the Sovereign Wealth Fund wants to dip its toes into college athletics?

[TrashMaster G 17388]

Damn! That's enough to fire like three and a half Jimbos.

[JBJ 3649]

I've come across a great opportunity, but I only have 90 days to secure funding.  Who wants partial ownership in a D1 athletics department?  For sexurity reasons, I can't disclose which one until after the purchase.

[Huckleberry 32701]

Congrats, Big 12.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10145]

For context:

 

 

[Dennis Taylor 18706]

4 minutes ago, JBJ said:

I've come across a great opportunity, but I only have 90 days to secure funding.  Who wants partial ownership in a D1 athletics department?  For sexurity reasons, I can't disclose which one until after the purchase.

Typo or nah?

[JBJ 3649]

Let's just say I didn't bother to fix it.

['stache 21774]

18 minutes ago, gernblansten said:

"In my defense, I tens of thousands of exhibits to show just how distracting it is to work here, leading to simple accounting errors. Ex. 1 of 37,185.."

All the Big XII programs going forward...

[Upgrayedd 5806]

[Pescado_Rojo 19331]

18 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Damn! That's enough to fire like three and a half Jimbos.

[YGIFS 19449]

The article isn't terribly clear, I guess by omission rather than commission...was this just at Athletics at UA, at UA campuswide, at Arizona Regents systemwide (they have just the one system with board and head for the 3 big campuses and then I think a med school and some CEU satellite deals).  Or was this all the way up to their state comptroller?  Or probably some combo of all of the above that we'll never know about because you know...small, efficient governance.  That's a pretty big fucking rounding error though even for a school of that size.  Even for UTIMCO, that'd be a massive red flag and UA system is what...maybe a tenth of that size/endownment/expenditure?  Then again, I was assured by one of the smartest Americans that there's 1.4bn people in North Korea, so what the fuck do we know.  I feel like everything these days is like Rizzo in Jerky Boys, "That's right...you do the estimating.  I do all that shit, ya know?!?"  

No CR, but I bet dollars to donuts I know who is involved in this.  And no, this time...it's not Frank Stallone.

Edited November 9, 2023 by YGIFS

[Huckleberry 32701]

17 minutes ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

For context:

 

 

Is she related to Merton Hanks? 

[LTtxfan 48975]

[Evil Bill Obrien 3191]

22 minutes ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

For context:

 

 

Looks like she could prob still pitch in on that "UA Only Fans for Financial Solvency" fundraising effort...BizTucson may want to revoke that award tho

Edited November 9, 2023 by Evil Bill Obrien

[Josef Pwag 1728]

35 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

The 50 year storm has hit Bell’s Beach, Australia and I will be there, man. 

Death on a stick out there mate.

All kidding aside, Rosie, he's like a machine. He's got this gift of blankness. Once you set him in motion, he will not stop. I use him to handle all of my significant accounting errors.

 

 

[MonkeyDoughnut 10145]

makes more sense... "projections" were off, not actual funds missing

 

[LTtxfan 48975]

They need to try and sell more advertising rights to their jerseys for football and basketball...  get Yormark to help.  😂

 

Edited November 9, 2023 by LTtxfan

[TrashMaster G 17388]

31 minutes ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

For context:

Wood.

I'm not proud of it, but yeah.

[YGIFS 19449]

I don't know if they work off a 365 day pro-forma, but if they do...156 days?  That's a nearly 20% miss.  That's a big fucking deal in the public sector.  Particularly when a public university's YoY model is pretty fucking stable outside of off-revenue capital projects like new arena, Taylor Swift as Provost hiring bonus, etc.---that kinda one-off shit.

[Irieguy 1059]

1 minute ago, YGIFS said:

I don't know if they work off a 365 day pro-forma, but if they do...156 days?  That's a nearly 20% miss.  That's a big fucking deal in the public sector.  Particularly when a public university's YoY model is pretty fucking stable outside of off-revenue capital projects like new arena, Taylor Swift as Provost hiring bonus, etc.---that kinda one-off shit.

Yea I don’t get how you miss that badly. But the cause seems pretty clear, they have been giving any student with half a brain a free education. Sucks to suck. 
“If you look at the band from 3.75 GPA to 4.0, there are a lot of students here that pay nothing,” he said. “We lose money on every one.”

[Bevo&Pevo 5029]

I wonder.... did Ken Lay go to Arizona?

[Steel Shank 9415]

Look, I've banged a bunch of hot CFO broads, and can tell you the one above really likes to get down, get nasty.

[Bevo14 8274]

[Bevo 13527]

1 hour ago, gernblansten said:

"In my defense, I tens of thousands of exhibits to show just how distracting it is to work here, leading to simple accounting errors. Ex. 1 of 37,185.."

1, 1, 1

[Earl Haffler 584]

2 hours ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

For context:

 

 

She's too hot to be smart.  But she does look like she has a little Oriental in her.

[Guadaloopy 10923]

10 minutes ago, Earl Haffler said:

She's too hot to be smart.  But she does look like she has a little Oriental in her.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21781]

1 hour ago, Earl Haffler said:

She's too hot to be smart.  But she does look like she has a little Oriental in her.

I’m not a little oriental, but I’d be happy to get in her

[YGIFS 19449]

1 hour ago, Earl Haffler said:

She's too hot to be smart.  But she does look like she has a little Oriental in her.

Maybe she  occidentally  messed up the maths.

Edited November 10, 2023 by YGIFS

[Red Five 40663]

4 hours ago, gernblansten said:

"In my defense, I tens of thousands of exhibits to show just how distracting it is to work here, leading to simple accounting errors. Ex. 1 of 37,185.."

1, 2, 3? I guess? Hottest last place finisher ever.

[TornACL 7676]

Sounds like someone didn't understand what $(000) means at the top of the financial statement.

[YGIFS 19449]

That really is a lovely.  You can tell left has the best ass.  middle is the more beautiful face and right has the best tits.  I don't know what you call the amalgam, but it'd be top notch to superlatively top notch.

[ousux 5587]

 
How fired does the UA CFO have to be for messing up finances by a quarter billion?
 

Sounds like the perfect candidate to take the reigns of the Pentagon accounting office, or any government agency tbh.

[LonghornBreeder 550]

3 hours ago, Irieguy said:

Yea I don’t get how you miss that badly. But the cause seems pretty clear, they have been giving any student with half a brain a free education. Sucks to suck. 
“If you look at the band from 3.75 GPA to 4.0, there are a lot of students here that pay nothing,” he said. “We lose money on every one.”

Having done my graduate work at that University I can confirm both the ridiculously distracting level of talent on campus and also the staggering level of stupidity on that campus.

Students from Arizona are far outnumbered by rejects of the Cal and Texas programs. I couldn't tell you how many unreadable, incoherent essays I came across while grading for 3rd and 4th year classes. And these were students in communication science and linguistics courses.

[Horn80 6075]

11 minutes ago, ousux said:

4 hours ago, Evil Bill Obrien said:

 
How fired does the UA CFO have to be for messing up finances by a quarter billion?
 

Sounds like the perfect candidate to take the reins of the Pentagon accounting office, or any government agency tbh.

No way.  Under qualified.

['stache 21774]

3 hours ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

For context:

 

 

[Alien Octopus 499]

5 hours ago, Evil Bill Obrien said:

 

How fired does the UA CFO have to be for messing up finances by a quarter billion?

 

Nah he paid off a lot of people with that much cream. His job security will probably fall on some asshole who feels his 2 mm was not enough.