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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:06 PM, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

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No pterodactyl? Soft-ass kids of today.

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 8:32 PM, Nivek said:

Have we ever discussed what type of animal you could beat in a fight?

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No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:22 PM, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

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Could his pay stub beat up your pay stub?

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 1:44 PM, Goredho said:

Other than his need to flash his MAGA card, it was a normal interaction.

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Did he talk in a high whiny Tucker voice, or a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice? Because I can only respect a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice.

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:06 PM, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

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'Intoxicating Cologne'...60% of the time it's 120 proof and works every time.  

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:25 PM, DDD Dad said:

I think that's Taylor's mom.

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Correct. Also, didn't know this...

  Quote

Taylor Swift's mom is Andrea Swift (née Finlay). Andrea is a former marketing manager at an advertising agency. She was born on January 10, 1958, in Pennsylvania, United States. She attended Memorial High School in Houston, Texas, and graduated from the University of Houston.

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Surely we've got some members that went to Memorial in the mid-70s...

Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:26 PM, RDCanecutter said:

Did he talk in a high whiny Tucker voice, or a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice? Because I can only respect a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice.

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He spoke like a goddamed moron.

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 7:45 PM, Gatorubet said:

Do you even NFL conspiracy bro? 

IMG_2332.jpeg.722c403f4f32ba989c9286259a920c92.jpeg

Here, Swift and Goodell script out the last 10 plays of overtime. Even more difficult, Goodell directs the post-game kiss scenes. 

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“Thank you, Taylor.  Thank you for saving the NFL.” 

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:22 PM, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

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Are you Nick Adams renowned Alpha Male?  

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Posted

Oh wait, he's literally taller?  Okay, shit...my bad.  I thought he was just figuratively of a longer figure.  I change my bet then.  Money's on Helobious, let it ride.  

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:06 PM, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

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60% of the time...  It works every time...

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 10:00 PM, troph said:

Heck yes! I thought for sure I was going to have to explain the reference. 

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I swear that line has been stuck in my head like a permanent earworm any time I think of how I smell/stink.

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 10:27 PM, hayden_horn said:

is this the next annoying thing that will totally make people watch football not that much anymore?

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No, this is the NFL doing whatever it can to gain back fans after all they lost from the kneeling for basic human rights debacle. They were struggling mightily after that if you remember. They almost got back into the black thanks to TS. They might just survive after all.  

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 10:47 PM, HOOKEM4 said:

No, this is the NFL doing whatever it can to gain back fans after all they lost from the kneeling for basic human rights debacle. They were struggling mightily after that if you remember. They almost got back into the black thanks to TS. They might just survive after all.  

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Anyone else get a wwe vibe from the trophy area and narration when they began the broadcast?

Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:06 PM, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

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I look forward to the day when you could simply say you were attacked by a bear. 

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Posted

You should be Swiftpilling. You need to be Travis and TayTay Maxxing. Just follow the light, really. All you need to do is watch football and enjoy a conventionally attractive woman who sings inoffensive pop songs.  Your politics need to be “let’s be normal and nice.” They are trying to wake us from our long national nightmare. 

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Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 4:50 PM, Helobious said:

So am I a MAGA-tard if I just wanted the 9ers to win because I’m sick of the chiefs, don’t like mahomes, don’t like Kelce or Swift, and like watching football games without seeing or hearing about someone watching from the press box every 10 seconds? From reading this thread I guess I am.

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Every 10 seconds huh…

 

Posted

i will say this -- it surprised me how little all the other celebs got.  they did that one around-the-stadium thing showing lebron and lady gaga and some others.  shot to joe montana at the beginning.  other than that, it was just tswift.  i think she was the only one worthy of showing more than once.

Posted
  On 2/12/2024 at 9:22 PM, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

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He hits like shit, so please go ahead. Even missing some spring training would be nice.

Posted

Helobious had approximately 12 posts on two different threads (Football and CR) that mentioned Taylor Swift so given that she had 12 camera pans for a total of 54 seconds during a 4 hour and 8 minute game time, there should be _____ posts about the game itself by said poster.

Solve for X. Or Q. Whatever. It's pretty funny.

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