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maga vs the swifties (taylor's version)

henrygandorf

By henrygandorf
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henrygandorf
henrygandorf

these dumb motherfuckers are the dumbest motherfuckers.

wildcat09
wildcat09

Has anyone else noticed how all the consistently weirdest guys talk a lot about how they don’t think Taylor Swift is attractive?

CooterBrown
CooterBrown

My 11 YO daughter asked me this morning when she can register to vote. I told her the republicans don't want her to vote until 18 so they passed a law banning kids from voting.  

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26452

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

No pterodactyl? Soft-ass kids of today.

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Helobious

Helobious 9462

Posted
Posted
44 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Have we ever discussed what type of animal you could beat in a fight?

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45976

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

Could his pay stub beat up your pay stub?

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26452

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Goredho said:

Other than his need to flash his MAGA card, it was a normal interaction.

Did he talk in a high whiny Tucker voice, or a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice? Because I can only respect a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

Posted
Posted
21 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

'Intoxicating Cologne'...60% of the time it's 120 proof and works every time.  

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Pescado_Rojo

Pescado_Rojo 19423

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, DDD Dad said:

I think that's Taylor's mom.

Correct. Also, didn't know this...

Quote

Taylor Swift's mom is Andrea Swift (née Finlay). Andrea is a former marketing manager at an advertising agency. She was born on January 10, 1958, in Pennsylvania, United States. She attended Memorial High School in Houston, Texas, and graduated from the University of Houston.

Surely we've got some members that went to Memorial in the mid-70s...

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Correct. Also, didn't know this...

Surely we've got some members that went to Memorial in the mid-70s...

wait a minute.  I know her.  we had geography together!  

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Goredho

Goredho 17408

Posted
Posted
56 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Did he talk in a high whiny Tucker voice, or a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice? Because I can only respect a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice.

He spoke like a goddamed moron.

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Underdog

Underdog 28711

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Posted
2 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

Do you even NFL conspiracy bro? 

IMG_2332.jpeg.722c403f4f32ba989c9286259a920c92.jpeg

Here, Swift and Goodell script out the last 10 plays of overtime. Even more difficult, Goodell directs the post-game kiss scenes. 

“Thank you, Taylor.  Thank you for saving the NFL.” 

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Underdog

Underdog 28711

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

Are you Nick Adams renowned Alpha Male?  

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TexArcher

TexArcher 37978

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

60% of the time...  It works every time...

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25976

Posted
Posted
44 minutes ago, troph said:

Heck yes! I thought for sure I was going to have to explain the reference. 

I swear that line has been stuck in my head like a permanent earworm any time I think of how I smell/stink.

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HOOKEM4

HOOKEM4 5037

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, hayden_horn said:

is this the next annoying thing that will totally make people watch football not that much anymore?

No, this is the NFL doing whatever it can to gain back fans after all they lost from the kneeling for basic human rights debacle. They were struggling mightily after that if you remember. They almost got back into the black thanks to TS. They might just survive after all.  

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52524

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, HOOKEM4 said:

No, this is the NFL doing whatever it can to gain back fans after all they lost from the kneeling for basic human rights debacle. They were struggling mightily after that if you remember. They almost got back into the black thanks to TS. They might just survive after all.  

Anyone else get a wwe vibe from the trophy area and narration when they began the broadcast?

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30246

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

I look forward to the day when you could simply say you were attacked by a bear. 

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956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34715

Posted
Posted

You should be Swiftpilling. You need to be Travis and TayTay Maxxing. Just follow the light, really. All you need to do is watch football and enjoy a conventionally attractive woman who sings inoffensive pop songs.  Your politics need to be “let’s be normal and nice.” They are trying to wake us from our long national nightmare. 

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TexEx15

TexEx15 17543

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Helobious said:

So am I a MAGA-tard if I just wanted the 9ers to win because I’m sick of the chiefs, don’t like mahomes, don’t like Kelce or Swift, and like watching football games without seeing or hearing about someone watching from the press box every 10 seconds? From reading this thread I guess I am.

Every 10 seconds huh…

 

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TheStoicPaisano

TheStoicPaisano 9922

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

He hits like shit, so please go ahead. Even missing some spring training would be nice.

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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

Posted
Posted

Helobious had approximately 12 posts on two different threads (Football and CR) that mentioned Taylor Swift so given that she had 12 camera pans for a total of 54 seconds during a 4 hour and 8 minute game time, there should be _____ posts about the game itself by said poster.

Solve for X. Or Q. Whatever. It's pretty funny.

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