Sorry for partying, FLORIDA MAN EDITION

[Gil Bang 26099]

CLEARWATER, Fla. - A Florida man has found himself bars after he was seen by a police officer pooping on a dead possum in the middle of the street, according to an arrest affidavit from the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office. 

Rudy Wilcox was arrested and charged with exposing his sexual organs after the alleged incident that unfolded on Wednesday near the intersection of Belcher Road and Willow Tree Trail in Clearwater. 

 

At around 5:20 p.m., the 45-year-old man was seen by a Clearwater police officer defecating on a dead possum with his pants down and his back side exposed, according to the affidavit. Wilcox, who has no known residence, was allegedly in "full view of the motoring public during busy traffic hours," police said. 

 

In a post-Miranda interview with police, Wilcox denied the allegations and said the officer "doesn't see straight," the affidavit said. Police, however, found "physical evidence" at the scene corroborating the allegations, the report said. 

 

[Parliament 14368]

Wait.  That’s illegal!?

[NeverMarryAStripper 22030]

I don’t see what the big deal is.  The possum was dead, it didn’t care.

[Pato del Muerto 52855]

[Upgrayedd 5824]

Police pop Pinellas postmortem possum pooper

[TheStoicPaisano 9940]

Imagine having to go back and collect the corroborating evidence at the scene. Called the shit poop and the opossum a possum.

[RPM 26426]

Ya gotta cover it with something.

[gernblansten 3198]

Anyone even bother to ask what that opossum did to Rudy's family?

[CooterBrown 18089]

Did they run a DNA analysis on the feces in question? Did the officer record video of the alleged crime?

[Scheiss Meister 8419]

"If it ain't his shit, you must acquit."

Edited November 21, 2023 by Scheiss Meister

[Superhero 8889]

That's a rough looking 45...

 

He was probably pooping on the possum before he ate it, because... Florida. Nothing is shocking anymore.

[Sbbruin 21912]

[Chooky 13321]

It wasn't dead. It was playing ... ahem.

[YGIFS 19453]

He called the sleeping shit possum playing possum, poop!