Bitch about family CR slugfest

[cactusflinthead 27,601]

Just in case it gets a little too testy at the family gatherings and it's way too CR for the other thread, bring it here.

We have an uneasy detente at my mom's and sister's. Don't start nothing, won't be nothing. Because they know that I will respond in kind. 

Someone over at the other thread mentioned turning off Fox News when they arrived. There's gotta be some more stories.

And this is equal opportunity. There have to be episodes of very liberal family members starting shit too. I don't give a damn if you want to protect farm animals from abuse while I am slicing ham. Want to watch Anthony shoot the pig with the Cajuns or stab him in Borneo? Either way that delicious pig is dinner. We can discuss ethical questions afterwards on the porch l.

I know y'all got them stories. Let's hear it.

[freyguy 4,284]

I don't know.  I walked out back, in-between cutting up the turkey & tri-tip to throw some more logs on the solo stove (because again, none of the in-laws know how to do shit for themselves).  Dipshit wife of one of the brother-in-laws was going on and on about which side of the Royals she was on, how they screwed over Harry, etc. 

After tossing some logs, I looked around the group, trying to find someone who wasn't all-in on the conversation to give them the "wtf is she blabbering about now" look (no such luck with that crew). 

So I went back inside and pounded some more E.H.Taylor.

[Hornius Emeritus 12,480]

I cannot be enticed, prodded, cajoled, coerced, bribed, besotted, persuaded or baited into talking about politics at family gatherings.  If asked, I just say "I learned long ago that nobody wants to listen to my dumbass when it comes to politics."  This has the added benefit of making at least some of my interlocutors realize that nobody wants to listen to their dumb asses, either. I am like a calm, placid Buddha who takes in the scene and smiles beatifically.

[Boss Hogg 808]

1 hour ago, cactusflinthead said:

Just in case it gets a little too testy at the family gatherings and it's way too CR for the other thread, bring it here.

We have an uneasy detente at my mom's and sister's. Don't start nothing, won't be nothing. Because they know that I will respond in kind. 

Someone over at the other thread mentioned turning off Fox News when they arrived. There's gotta be some more stories.

And this is equal opportunity. There have to be episodes of very liberal family members starting shit too. I don't give a damn if you want to protect farm animals from abuse while I am slicing ham. Want to watch Anthony shoot the pig with the Cajuns or stab him in Borneo? Either way that delicious pig is dinner. We can discuss ethical questions afterwards on the porch l.

I know y'all got them stories. Let's hear it.

Getting in a “slugfest” with family over politics is juvenile behavior. 

[mantis toboggan 850]

38 minutes ago, Boss Hogg said:

Getting in a “slugfest” with family over politics is juvenile behavior. 

Just making sure you know what website you are on. Thx. 

[Willfully Horn 8,046]

One Thanksgiving, my mom’s oldest sister asked me if I was smoking weed. Sure, Aunt Caroline, every day, says 17 year old me. Ain’t it just like a teenager, she says, tell you the truth to your face and expect you not to believe it.

 

That’s all I got.

[C-Man 27,247]

Was over at my in-laws on Thursday and sitting in the living room with my MIL, her sister and my dipshit brother-in-law. They started in on Biden just having his 81st birthday. My MIL's sister is a nice lady but she's not doing so well these days. She was pretty slurry this week -- and I'm not sure you can totally blame it on the chardonnay. Well, she is talking about how Biden can't complete a sentence, etc and I'm biting my tongue. My dipshit BIL then says Aunt Claudia could do a better job running the country than Biden. (This is the same moron who thought it would be hilarious to wrap my and my wife's gifts in Trump wrapping paper two Xmases ago. Right after I was given the gift, my BIL was on the phone with Claudia and they were tee-heeing about how they were owning the libs! My wife got so pissed off that we nearly left.)

[aggie08 21,513]

I avoid talking politics with literally anyone in person like it's my full-time job because I prefer not banging my head against a fence post.

My family is pretty good about it too, but our yearly Thanksgiving ritual is still good for a couple of overheard gems.

The holiday classic, "Well, if 'they' just didn't resist..." is a staple.

But this year I heard a brand new one. "I like Taylor Swift's music, but I'm against literally everything she stands for." Like, what does that even mean? I get that her dipping her toes into politics has painted a target on her back, but I have no fucking clue what "policies" she actually represents other than "inclusion and love are good."

[Hornius Emeritus 12,480]

1 hour ago, aggie08 said:

I avoid talking politics with literally anyone in person like it's my full-time job because I prefer not banging my head against a fence post.

My family is pretty good about it too, but our yearly Thanksgiving ritual is still good for a couple of overheard gems.

The holiday classic, "Well, if 'they' just didn't resist..." is a staple.

But this year I heard a brand new one. "I like Taylor Swift's music, but I'm against literally everything she stands for." Like, what does that even mean? I get that her dipping her toes into politics has painted a target on her back, but I have no fucking clue what "policies" she actually represents other than "inclusion and love are good."

Maybe whoever said it was referring to her music, which she presumably stands for.

[Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13,586]

Went to Houston a week before Thanksgiving, hung out with the parents, took them out to dinner then spent Turkey Day biking around Austin, watching football and having some beers down on Rainey. Cuz I like to live dangerously.

Edited November 27, 2023 by Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand

[Francisco 2.0 32,404]

At MIL's (hard MAGA, along with both of my BIL's and the wife of one) house there were two things that came close to political bounds.  The first was a local news story about some guy who accidentally shot himself and died from cleaning his own gun.  They all agreed that this would be called "gun violence" and "just something else the left will use to take away guns".  I counter with it sounded to me like a dumbass that if he wasn't going to be a responsible gun owner he shouldn't have owned a gun in the first place.   There was silence.

The second incident was someone mentioned things being so expensive, and it was Biden's fault.  In this room during that moment was a chemical engineer, 2 people who work for a petroleum company, an RN, a widower who probably has around $7-10 million to her name, myself and a couple of others who have white collar jobs.  I'm looking around and wondering  who in this group just who was having trouble making ends meet, and came up with nothing.....other than just wanting something to bitch about.

 

 

[Snake Diggity 4,627]

“Yes there’s some things about Trump I don’t like, but Biden is ruining my life.  Nobody wants to work.  Nobody can get a job.  The border is wide open, inflation is totally out of control…” -My FIL, to a person he met 7 minutes prior, who had not said anything about politics

I wish I could say that he is a monument to stupidity, a first ballot Hall of Fame moron, somebody whose ignorance will go down in the history books.  But no.  He is surely a stupid, ignorant moron.  But there are tens of millions of people in this country just like him.

[Snake Diggity 4,627]

My wife’s uncle is a DoD contractor.  On Thanksgiving he told me “I have to work tomorrow.  Biden is making me work.  Trump gave us off on the day after Thanksgiving.”

I knew the truth is that congress determines Federal Holidays (and that as a private contractor his company determines holidays unless it’s called out in their contract) but didn’t confront him, I just said “the President determines Federal Holidays? By himself?”  He goes “Yep.  Sad isn’t it?”

[jimmyjazz 46,027]

4 minutes ago, Snake Diggity said:

Nobody wants to work.  Nobody can get a job.

An interesting paradox, to be sure.

[Snake Diggity 4,627]

5 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

An interesting paradox, to be sure.

He is FAR beyond hope, and representative of a generation and a half whose overall biggest contribution to the country will be to die off.

Edited November 27, 2023 by Snake Diggity

[Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13,586]

...windmill cancer at levels never seen, our pets' heads are falling off, NOBODY SPEAKS ENGLISH ANYMORE! 

[Macanudo 13,005]

5 hours ago, aggie08 said:

I avoid talking politics with literally anyone in person like it's my full-time job because I prefer not banging my head against a fence post.

My family is pretty good about it too, but our yearly Thanksgiving ritual is still good for a couple of overheard gems.

The holiday classic, "Well, if 'they' just didn't resist..." is a staple.

But this year I heard a brand new one. "I like Taylor Swift's music, but I'm against literally everything she stands for." Like, what does that even mean? I get that her dipping her toes into politics has painted a target on her back, but I have no fucking clue what "policies" she actually represents other than "inclusion and love are good."

Ok, but how was the conversation about the coaching search?

[bernorange 8,362]

 

[Walser 1,109]

I learned last week that my boomer mother believes in chemtrails and my boomer aunt is going to school board meetings in an effort to ban books. She's doing this in an ISD in which she doesn't even pay taxes.

[Dnaguy 12,026]

4 minutes ago, Walser said:

I learned last week that my boomer mother believes in chemtrails and my boomer aunt is going to school board meetings in an effort to ban books. She's doing this in an ISD in which she doesn't even pay taxes.

Now that’s how you Karen.

[aggie08 21,513]

1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

Ok, but how was the conversation about the coaching search?

None of my family is from Texas, and, as I'm sure you'll be stunned to know, ain't no one gives a shit about Texas A&M the second you cross the state line.

The one or two with a moderate interest in college football mustered up the energy for some variation of, "I would take half as much as Jimbo to not coach Texas A&M" which will never not be funny.

[wildcat09 29,363]

33 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

None of my family is from Texas, and, as I'm sure you'll be stunned to know, ain't no one gives a shit about Texas A&M the second you cross the state line.

The one or two with a moderate interest in college football mustered up the energy for some variation of, "I would take half as much as Jimbo to not coach Texas A&M" which will never not be funny.

Sheeeeeit, I'll take a quarter as much.

[TexArcher 38,000]

I have aggy cousins who are Fox News parrots.  I think they've turned on Trump, but I'm not sure.  

I established years ago that if they bring up politics, I will immediately change the topic by asking about aggy football with fake-sincere questions about what they need to do to "get back to where they've always wanted to be."  So, no more politics.

Fortunately, this has worked for about 23 of the the last 25 years, and the other 2 they were too busy blathering about aggy football to bring up politics, and I talked with the womenfolk.

I'm sure Elko will keep this peace treaty in force for several more years.

[4th&Five 41,574]

I walked into my parents house and turned on the Lions game and my dad didn't make a comment on how he quit watching the NFL because of kneeling.  First time in years.  Maybe we're making progress...

[wildcat09 29,363]

Gotta love the "why do they gotta make football political!?" dipshits making Thanksgiving political.  

People who bring up politics at family holidays should be tarred and feathered.

[StassneyHorn 6,624]

I went to San Diego for Thanksgiving week, without family, so I win.

 

Edited November 27, 2023 by StassneyHorn

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,517]

6 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

The second incident was someone mentioned things being so expensive, and it was Biden's fault.  In this room during that moment was a chemical engineer, 2 people who work for a petroleum company, an RN, a widower who probably has around $7-10 million to her name, myself and a couple of others who have white collar jobs.  I'm looking around and wondering  who in this group just who was having trouble making ends meet, and came up with nothing.....other than just wanting something to bitch about.

I have a friend who was recently promoted to management for a major Bay Area tech company. He earns a Bay Area salary while living in the Houston suburbs. I can only imagine what he earns in salary, bonus and stock options. This is a very well established firm so while he's not earning pre-IPO shares, he's earning shares that have guaranteed value.

Anyway, he loves to bitch about Bidenomics and how much grocery prices have inflated. I've told him to get over the fact that a $100 grocery run is now $125. (And acknowledge that a fair amount of that is due to corporate profits.)

Edited November 27, 2023 by Nice Guy Eddie

[4th&Five 41,574]

7 minutes ago, wildcat09 said:

Gotta love the "why do they gotta make football political!?" dipshits making Thanksgiving political.  

People who bring up politics at family holidays should be tarred and feathered.

Politics were never discussed in my house growing up either.  I knew my dad was a republican but that's it.  I still have no idea who my mom votes for but Trump and spare time in retirement to watch Fox changed everything with him.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,517]

There should always be an agreement that a touchy subject should be avoided at large family gatherings.

My family is about half public school employees. Of those, half are coaches and half are teachers. One year someone decided to bring up that public schools spend too much money on athletics. After everyone had plenty of alcohol.  It was the equivalent of tossing a grenade in the room. 20 years later I think there is still bad blood regarding that argument.

[wildcat09 29,363]

3 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

There should always be an agreement that a touchy subject should be avoided at large family gatherings.

My family is about half public school employees. Of those, half are coaches and half are teachers. One year someone decided to bring up that public schools spend too much money on athletics. After everyone had plenty of alcohol.  It was the equivalent of tossing a grenade in the room. 20 years later I think there is still bad blood regarding that argument.

Ok, actually, I could make an exception for exactly this scenario, because it sounds extremely funny.

[Chewbacca 7,781]

3 hours ago, Walser said:

I learned last week that my boomer mother believes in chemtrails and my boomer aunt is going to school board meetings in an effort to ban books. She's doing this in an ISD in which she doesn't even pay taxes.

You should ask her if she actually reads the books before she tries to get them banned.  You already know the answer, but that'd be funny to put her on the spot.

[RDCanecutter 26,462]

I had a surprisingly politics-free Thanksgiving in rural Alabama with family. Imagine a peaceful 1850 with family phone plans.

In the past there had been occasional guests who couldn't handle their light beer and would start spouting Hannity by memory. They were guests, so rather than engage with them I would just look at them, sort of like you do when you walk too close to one of those joke "talking mounted trout" things.

Another year, two elders started discussing conversion therapy next to my cousin and his friend, who both zipped on over to our table for the meal. The two older folks probably had no idea anybody in the building was gay.

Nothing much this year, unless I can count an incident at a wedding with a somewhat jackassian fellow who was all jollied up from day drinking. He had brought up an old little car I still have, in the vein of why wouldn't everybody drive a Big Trook. I told him I had rammed it into a politician's truck in Mexico, but he wasn't a popular politician so the onlookers were sticking up for me. Dude says "He Musta Been Dimmacrat If Nobody Liked Him Hyuh Huh," so you see, it wasn't really any kind of argument, just a gentleman showing his brilliance.

This same dude, years earlier, had saved my sister's dog from being torn to shreds by some Squidbilly's Pit Bull, by beating the offending beast on the head with a plank while it was going T-Rex. So, a valued Ally, but maybe not the one to pick on Mexican Political Trivia Night.

[RDCanecutter 26,462]

2 hours ago, wildcat09 said:

Sheeeeeit, I'll take a quarter as much.

I'd do it for free just to fuck with them.

[WhatTheBuck 28,795]

9 hours ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

Maybe whoever said it was referring to her music, which she presumably stands for.

[Sbbruin 21,866]

We spent a politics free Thanksgiving with my Maga BIL and his Louisiana wife.  They know where we stand and we know where they stand, and everyone was wise enough to keep that topic off the table.  Plus, I had scoreboard over his Trojan ass from the prior weekend, so that was my prepared retort should it be necessary. 

[Gooby 640]

My Thanksgiving was politics-free.  I mainly attribute this to the fact that the Fox News addled man my mother married (he's not my step-father) has lost near 100% of his hearing, so he just doesn't engage all that much.  And that's a good thing for all involved.

[Dnaguy 12,026]

All this is just calm before the storm.

2024 is coming up fast.

Prez election.

Biden's old

Trump indictments

Ukraine

Israel 

Hunter Biden

Biden Impeachment?

Maybe a government shutdown?

 

This time next year One camp is going to be very, very upset. 

[Dutchrudder 11,150]

I rarely see my parents any more due to many years of shittiness towards myself and my wife over the last decade. Dad is a typical Fox News drone who spends hours every day watching it and loves to talk about politics and religion. I saw my dad for a little bit at my brother's house and shortly into the conversation about my 2 and 4 year old it went like this:

Dad: So how are the kids are they healthy?
Me: yeah, they are doing great, enjoying school and such. 
Dad: Are they still a boy and a girl?
Me: .... (flabbergasted)... what the fuck? Why would you ask that???
Dad: Well.. you know... some people are changing their kids genders...

I don't even recall how the rest of this conversation went, because I was so stunned that the second question. I have no clue how someone can be so brainwashed to the point they suspect that "The Gay Agenda" is lurking around every corner. It's like these people intentionally hook themselves up to The Matrix every night, but instead of learning cool stuff like Kung Fu and how to shoot guns, they learn how to be hateful assholes. It was a good reminder why we don't invite them to holiday gatherings. 

[SydneyCarton 48,147]

11 minutes ago, Dutchrudder said:

I rarely see my parents any more due to many years of shittiness towards myself and my wife over the last decade. Dad is a typical Fox News drone who spends hours every day watching it and loves to talk about politics and religion. I saw my dad for a little bit at my brother's house and shortly into the conversation about my 2 and 4 year old it went like this:

Dad: So how are the kids are they healthy?
Me: yeah, they are doing great, enjoying school and such. 
Dad: Are they still a boy and a girl?
Me: .... (flabbergasted)... what the fuck? Why would you ask that???
Dad: Well.. you know... some people are changing their kids genders...

I don't even recall how the rest of this conversation went, because I was so stunned that the second question. I have no clue how someone can be so brainwashed to the point they suspect that "The Gay Agenda" is lurking around every corner. It's like these people intentionally hook themselves up to The Matrix every night, but instead of learning cool stuff like Kung Fu and how to shoot guns, they learn how to be hateful assholes. It was a good reminder why we don't invite them to holiday gatherings. 

I'd have told them that it must suck to be so scared of the world around them, and left. The fact that they have to ask if you're kids are healthy means they're obviously not that invested in knowing how things are going with them. So what's the point? Good riddacne. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

There should always be an agreement that a touchy subject should be avoided at large family gatherings.

My family is about half public school employees. Of those, half are coaches and half are teachers. One year someone decided to bring up that public schools spend too much money on athletics. After everyone had plenty of alcohol.  It was the equivalent of tossing a grenade in the room. 20 years later I think there is still bad blood regarding that argument.

My wife's family is chock-full of educators, including my late MIL, a principal at an alternative school by the time she retired.  She was EVERYTHING you would hope a teacher/ administrator would be.  Being the asshole SIL that i am, I'd wait for prime moments with the most people in the living room at family get-togethers and drop the question about how many people would pay to watch a math class, as they griped about how much any given pro athlete made.

The steam would just start boiling up like a teapot.  It was really dirty pool, on my part.

I was her SIL for about 7-8 years before she figured out that I don't actually value sports more than academics.  That used to be a great non-political shit storm starter kit.  Hell, now, even that's political because it inevitably moves to school funding and vouchers and what not.  I think( know) she would agree with my stances on the current events of education.

But it was still fun stirring up the whole room.

[RDCanecutter 26,462]

16 minutes ago, Dutchrudder said:

I rarely see my parents any more due to many years of shittiness towards myself and my wife over the last decade. Dad is a typical Fox News drone who spends hours every day watching it and loves to talk about politics and religion. I saw my dad for a little bit at my brother's house and shortly into the conversation about my 2 and 4 year old it went like this:

Dad: So how are the kids are they healthy?
Me: yeah, they are doing great, enjoying school and such. 
Dad: Are they still a boy and a girl?
Me: .... (flabbergasted)... what the fuck? Why would you ask that???
Dad: Well.. you know... some people are changing their kids genders...

I don't even recall how the rest of this conversation went, because I was so stunned that the second question. I have no clue how someone can be so brainwashed to the point they suspect that "The Gay Agenda" is lurking around every corner. It's like these people intentionally hook themselves up to The Matrix every night, but instead of learning cool stuff like Kung Fu and how to shoot guns, they learn how to be hateful assholes. It was a good reminder why we don't invite them to holiday gatherings. 

I notice you never answered Dad's question.

[Pato del Muerto 52,553]

33 minutes ago, Dutchrudder said:

I rarely see my parents any more due to many years of shittiness towards myself and my wife over the last decade. Dad is a typical Fox News drone who spends hours every day watching it and loves to talk about politics and religion. I saw my dad for a little bit at my brother's house and shortly into the conversation about my 2 and 4 year old it went like this:

Dad: So how are the kids are they healthy?
Me: yeah, they are doing great, enjoying school and such. 
Dad: Are they still a boy and a girl?
Me: .... (flabbergasted)... what the fuck? Why would you ask that???
Dad: Well.. you know... some people are changing their kids genders...

I don't even recall how the rest of this conversation went, because I was so stunned that the second question. I have no clue how someone can be so brainwashed to the point they suspect that "The Gay Agenda" is lurking around every corner. It's like these people intentionally hook themselves up to The Matrix every night, but instead of learning cool stuff like Kung Fu and how to shoot guns, they learn how to be hateful assholes. It was a good reminder why we don't invite them to holiday gatherings. 

Next time you go to their house with the kids, walk in with a litter box and put it in the bathroom without saying anything. 

[Dutchrudder 11,150]

29 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I'd have told them that it must suck to be so scared of the world around them, and left. The fact that they have to ask if you're kids are healthy means they're obviously not that invested in knowing how things are going with them. So what's the point? Good riddance. 

Yeah, that's the approach I have taken the last couple years, because there is no salvaging it at this point. They aren't changing anything, and I don't want worry about my kids being unsupervised around people like that. I was there by myself for just a little bit, and there were other awful things were said, but that one was the most comical. It's sad what Fox news has done to people, it is constantly warping their brains with fear, hate and ignorance. 

Oh and the question of "healthy" was less of concern, and more of "did the vaccinations kill your kids yet?" kind of question based on our history. 

Edited November 27, 2023 by Dutchrudder

[Pato del Muerto 52,553]

Bonus points if you are willing to shit in the litter box yourself right before you leave, and try to leave it behind as forgotten by all. 

[Hornius Emeritus 12,480]

Sometimes, in my smiling, placid Buddha, beatific state, after having too much eggnog and having reached for the whiskey yet again, I decide to spend the evening speaking only in Big Lebowski quotes. I become very dudelike. They all think I'm crazy as hell.

[WhatTheBuck 28,795]

51 minutes ago, longhornmatt said:

“Yes, Dad, they are still a boy and a girl … but in an order that might surprise you.”

Yes, Dad, but they’re both cats now. Would you like to see their litter box?”

[Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13,586]

"Why Dad? Do you wanna fuck my kids? You know, you being really religious and all..."

[WhatTheBuck 28,795]

47 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Next time you go to their house with the kids, walk in with a litter box and put it in the bathroom without saying anything. 

Damn, you beat me to it. 

[Chuckie Finster 22,716]

My wife's cousin recently passed the bar exam.

My dad, completely unprompted: "You know, Kamala Harris failed the bar exam three times...."

[Chewbacca 7,781]

I thought this belongs in here.