2024 Texas Football Coaching and Support Staff Thread

[Tex Pete 20,339]

We've gone from cheese puns to where college alumni should choose to reside upon graduation.

 

[BurntOrange&White 39,930]

Just now, Vertigo said:

Stanley,

[mwaadeeb 1,210]

2 hours ago, Bodacious Bevo said:

Criteria (in order): prestige/history, access to talent (location is biggest but not only factor), NIL capabilities, in-state competition (if access to talent is predicated on that)

Tier 1 (no particular order within tiers): Texas, Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State, Michigan, USC

Tier 2: A&M, Notre Dame, Florida, Florida State, LSU, Rutgers, Penn State, Oklahoma, Oregon, Penn State, Tennessee

Tier 3: Miami, Washington, Clemson, Nebraska, Michigan State

Rutgers? Shit cray

[Bevo14 8,303]

41 minutes ago, Tex Pete said:

We've gone from cheese puns to where college alumni should choose to reside upon graduation.

 

It's never a gouda idea to stray from cheese puns

Edited January 11 by Bevo14

[LCHorn 2,616]

1 minute ago, SydneyCarton said:

I ahve to ask, why do you think a city of a million people with a college, is sending most of their gradutes, not to Columbus, but to cities with populations of 350k, 300k, 900k and 300k, respectively. Why are "Presumably" most of those grads going to either much, much smaller cities or to a comparably sized city in another state?

And you think a city with a metropolictan area of over 2 million people is going to struggle to absorb 11k people anually...why, exactly? 

You're right, I'm not being entirely clear with my distinction. 

Austin, for the record, isn't absorbing all of the graduates UT produces, either.  Where they go (primarily Houston and Dallas if they are leaving Austin) helps broaden UT's prestige to those cities and media markets. 

Ohio State doesn't have a Houston or Dallas--it's appeal is more limited. 

 

[satyanash 14,480]

"Wreaks"

 

[SydneyCarton 48,069]

1 minute ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

@SydneyCarton Not being pedantic and I'm not sure how this is even relevant, but according to the googletrons the Cleveland-Akron-Canton MSA is 3.7 million people. Columbus - Marion - Zainesill is 2.6 million. Cleveland is significantly larger. Both are significantly shitholes.

 

When I pulled it up, I didn't look at the overall MSA's for Cleveland, Pitt, etc, just the population of the city proper. I know a lot of shit about cities and MSA's, but I'm not a fucking encyclopedia. 

But the MSA isn't 3.7 million. The MSA is 2.1. The Combined Statistical Area (CSA) is 3.7. 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_Cleveland

The fucking point is, any dipshit saying that Columbus isn't an attractive MSA to host a major college football program, or someone attempting to portray Columbus as some tiny hamlet compared to the other "major" cities in Ohio doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about. 

[BigHornedLurker 1,936]

Just now, satyanash said:

"Wreaks"

 

oof someone hasn't been through a coaching change in awhile

[closetojumping 62,587]

Boy, what a fucking dumpster fire this thread has become. It’s cool though, it’s not as if Texas has any key personnel vacancies or anything. Nothing else happening that could domino some things either. Yeah, fuck it, argue over unprovable shit or argue over population counts across the country. Riveting shit. 

[SydneyCarton 48,069]

2 minutes ago, LCHorn said:

You're right, I'm not being entirely clear with my distinction. 

Austin, for the record, isn't absorbing all of the graduates UT produces, either.  Where they go (primarily Houston and Dallas if they are leaving Austin) helps broaden UT's prestige to those cities and media markets. 

Ohio State doesn't have a Houston or Dallas--it's appeal is more limited. 

 

Sure, but broadening the "prestige to other media markets" wasn't what we were talking about. We were talking about cities most attractive to major colleges for NIL purposes. Those other media markets have plenty of other opportunities for local business endorsement. It's why Austin is attractive. A UT player sponsoring something is more attractive in Austin than it is in Houston or Dallas, for all the obvious reasons. You're actually proving my point. 

[SydneyCarton 48,069]

4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Boy, what a fucking dumpster fire this thread has become. It’s cool though, it’s not as if Texas has any key personnel vacancies or anything. Nothing else happening that could domino some things either. Yeah, fuck it, argue over unprovable shit or argue over population counts across the country. Riveting shit. 

 I doubt whether you would know that St. Cassian of Imola was stabbed to death by his students with their styli.

8 minutes ago, satyanash said:

"Wreaks"

 

I love how you're posting a tweet from an account with a whopping 7k followers like it's news. 

Edited January 11 by SydneyCarton

[Vertigo 20,276]

4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Boy, what a fucking dumpster fire this thread has become. It’s cool though, it’s not as if Texas has any key personnel vacancies or anything. Nothing else happening that could domino some things either. Yeah, fuck it, argue over unprovable shit or argue over population counts across the country. Riveting shit. 

[gmr548 16,576]

2 hours ago, Bodacious Bevo said:

Criteria (in order): prestige/history, access to talent (location is biggest but not only factor), NIL capabilities, in-state competition (if access to talent is predicated on that)

Tier 1 (no particular order within tiers): Texas, Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State, Michigan, USC

Tier 2: A&M, Notre Dame, Florida, Florida State, LSU, Rutgers, Penn State, Oklahoma, Oregon, Penn State, Tennessee

Tier 3: Miami, Washington, Clemson, Nebraska, Michigan State

Nebraska is an awful job only worth considering because they will pay well and being a fired coach coasting on a buyout is great.

2 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

Columbus, OH, is as big or bigger than Austin, TX, from a population perspective. It's the biggest city in the state by far and fucking dwarfs cities with pro teams like Cincinatti and Cleveland. I'm not super familiar with the kind of business and industry in Columbus, but I'm betting it's fairly decent. 

 

3 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

@SydneyCarton Not being pedantic and I'm not sure how this is even relevant, but according to the googletrons the Cleveland-Akron-Canton MSA is 3.7 million people. Columbus - Marion - Zainesill is 2.6 million. Cleveland is significantly larger. Both are significantly shitholes.

 

In terms of MSA size all three of the big Ohio cities are essentially the same size at a little over 2MM. Cleveland has been the biggest historically but has also been shrinking. As it stands now Cincinnati is the largest, but Columbus will soon pass (as in the next couple years) as it is growing much faster.

Yes, if you go CSA and lump Akron-Canton in with Cleveland, NE Ohio is still by far the biggest market/economic region in the state. It's also culturally distinct from the rest of the state to a small degree (both my parents are form Ohio so I've had the misfortune of spending quite a bit of time there).

But really it doesn't matter because Ohio State's market/recruiting backyard is the entire state. Everyone from Ohio is an Ohio State fan. My uncle played D1 football at a smaller school in Ohio and still wears OSU gear on Saturdays. That's really their advantage. Georgia or Michigan are probably the closest comps in terms of having a large, talent-rich, football obsessed state on lockdown like that but neither has their state locked up quite as much as Ohio State does their home turf and Michigan doesn't produce as much talent as Ohio. You could add Penn State but interest in HS/college football wanes in Philly. LSU is close too - Louisiana is small but produces a freakish amount of talent. That's about it. Ohio State is in rare air for that factor alone.

[Red Five 40,848]

Could someone PM me when it's safe to return to this thread when it's no longer hot garbage? Thanks. 

[Ricky Butler 2,683]

Just now, Red Five said:

Could someone PM me when it's safe to return to this thread when it's no longer hot garbage? Thanks. 

I feel like posting slows down when Matlock reruns start to air in Dallas, Houston, and surrounding counties. 

[ClubWhatever 12,120]

2 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Could someone PM me when it's safe to return to this thread when it's no longer hot garbage? Thanks. 

[satyanash 14,480]

Mike Craven: Steve Sarkisian should stay put, because Texas is a better job than Alabama

Quote

Nick Saban shocked the college football world Wednesday with the announcement that he was retiring as head coach at Alabama. The 5-foot-6 Saban leaves elephant sized shoes to fill for whomever is hired as the next head coach of the Crimson Tide. He won six national titles in 17 seasons in Tuscaloosa and is widely considered the best college football coach in the history of the sport.

Attention now turns to the obvious question: Who is next? The rumor mill spiraled early. Dan Lanning. Dabo Swinney. Mike Norvell. Lane Kiffin. Steve Sarkisian. On Thursday, Lanning publicly denied any interest in the job and reaffirmed his commitment to Oregon. And why wouldn’t he? He has NIKE backing him and a move into the Big 10 on the horizon. It makes sense that Sark's next amongst the rumored candidates, he has a connection to the program. Sarkisian was integral to Saban's final national title in 2020 as offensive coordinator and schemed, statistically, one of the best offenses in college football history. He credits Nick Saban to saving his career that ultimately led him to Texas' first College Football Playoff appearance.

Sarkisian should also stay put at Texas. There is nothing that he would accomplish at Alabama that he couldn’t do at Texas. He beat the Crimson Tide in Tuscaloosa this season and led Texas to the College Football Playoff. Texas has more booster money and is in a bigger city with easier access to a wider talent base. With NIL and the transfer portal playing such a big role in the future success or failure of a college program, the correct bet is on the city next to Tesla and Dell. No one saw Sarkisian needing to beg donors to keep Jimbo Fisher at bay. 

The only other man to win multiple national titles at Alabama in the last 80 years is another all-time coaching great – Bear Bryant. He won his last national championship with the Crimson Tide in 1979. Saban won his first in 2009. In the 23 seasons between those championships, Alabama only won one national title – in 1992 with Gene Stallings. With apologies to the great Wallace Wade, who won three national titles in the 1920s, and Frank Thomas, who claimed two between 1934 and 1941, the Legend of Alabama Football is due to two historically great head coaches. Had Bryant and Saban chosen Auburn, would the masses consider Alabama one of the destination jobs of college football? And furthermore, can the next coach keep the crimson ball rolling?

Law 41 from the “48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene compels us to “avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes.” There is no greater man than Saban in college football and there was no greater man than Bryant in this space when he left Alabama following the 1982 season. Ray Perkins followed Bryant and lasted four seasons after posting a .677 winning percentage. Bill Curry took over prior to the 1987 season and eventually led the Crimson Tide to a co-SEC championship season in 1989 – the first since the Bryant-led squad of 1981. From 1979 until 1992, Alabama didn’t win a single outright SEC championship.

Gene Stallings led the Crimson Tide to a perfect season in 1992, but he couldn’t keep Alabama on the mountaintop like Bryant. The program wouldn’t win another SEC championship until Mike DuBose led the Crimson Tide to one in 1999. They wouldn’t win another one until Saban’s in 2009. DuBose was 24-23 in four seasons at the helm. Dennis Franchione was 17-8 in two seasons before bolting to Texas A&M. Mike Shula followed and 26-23 for two seasons before the program was saved by Saban in 2007. 

Following legendary coaches is never easy. Texas struggled for over a decade once the end of the Mack Brown era. Florida State took a long time to rebound after Bobby Bowden retired. USC is still trying to reach the heights of Pete Carroll’s dynasty nearly 20 years later despite one of the most high-profile coup-hires in recent memory. Alabama’s birthright isn’t to win national championships. Unless Bryant or the next best coach of a generation walks into Tuscaloosa, the smart money is on Alabama regressing to the mean with the next regime.

It's today's college football, it's never been harder to win. The expansion to a 12-team playoff plus the introduction of super conferences means the route to the championship is bumpier than ever. Early on, Bryant and his contemporaries like Darryl K Royal could hoard the best talent. Now, the transfer portal and NIL means that talent distribution should return to pre-mega team years, which coincided with LeBron James and his move to Miami.

There may never be another Saban because it’ll be impossible to build those types of dynasties. Think the NFL where the shelf life is typically three or four years, and that’s without eligibility limits. Texas and Oklahoma are joining the SEC. Oregon, USC, and Washington are headed into the Big 10. Georgia is a monster. The days of sustained dominance are probably done everywhere, not just at Alabama. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. The only coaches who should jump at the opportunity to follow Saban are ones who aren’t in chairs capable of winning national championships. Think Norvell or Kiffin. That ruled out Lanning. It should rule out Sarkisian.

 

[Bodacious Bevo 3,584]

1 hour ago, Keef said:

wtf Rutgers?

just checking to see if anybody would read it or if everyone else also just scrolls past all this stuff like I do 

10 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Boy, what a fucking dumpster fire this thread has become. It’s cool though, it’s not as if Texas has any key personnel vacancies or anything. Nothing else happening that could domino some things either. Yeah, fuck it, argue over unprovable shit or argue over population counts across the country. Riveting shit. 

Hopefully we see some dominoes in the secondary 

[Rimbo 25,916]

10 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Boy, what a fucking dumpster fire this thread has become. It’s cool though, it’s not as if Texas has any key personnel vacancies or anything. Nothing else happening that could domino some things either. Yeah, fuck it, argue over unprovable shit or argue over population counts across the country. Riveting shit. 

And has anything happened in regards to these in the past 3 hours?

No.

So we're fine. Lemme know if anything actually important happens, and I'll keep shitposting about Audrey, Marilyn, and all the weakass fucks who merely want to be Audrey and Marilyn.

And @SydneyCarton, Michigan IS a higher tier than Ohio State, but not because of their location. Michigan is Marilyn Monroe, and tOSU is Jayne Mansfield; plenty hot in her own right, but no Marilyn Monroe.

[JesusSweatDuck 17,781]

5 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Could someone PM me when it's safe to return to this thread when it's no longer hot garbage? Thanks. 

Fuck no, you have to wade through the shit just like the rest of us

[gmr548 16,576]

 

19 minutes ago, LCHorn said:

You're right, I'm not being entirely clear with my distinction. 

Austin, for the record, isn't absorbing all of the graduates UT produces, either.  Where they go (primarily Houston and Dallas if they are leaving Austin) helps broaden UT's prestige to those cities and media markets. 

Ohio State doesn't have a Houston or Dallas--it's appeal is more limited. 

 

 

15 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Sure, but broadening the "prestige to other media markets" wasn't what we were talking about. We were talking about cities most attractive to major colleges for NIL purposes. Those other media markets have plenty of other opportunities for local business endorsement. It's why Austin is attractive. A UT player sponsoring something is more attractive in Austin than it is in Houston or Dallas, for all the obvious reasons. You're actually proving my point. 

To add to @SydneyCarton's point - really an Ohio State player has the localized NIL value he is talking about for a UT player in Austin across the whole state. LeBron James is the only athlete in Ohio's history to be categorically bigger than Ohio State stars - and he's a a fucking Ohio State fan, a vocal one.

Edited January 11 by gmr548

[Rimbo 25,916]

10 minutes ago, gmr548 said:

Nebraska is an awful job only worth considering because they will pay well and being a fired coach coasting on a buyout is great.

sounds like a&m

8 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Could someone PM me when it's safe to return to this thread when it's no longer hot garbage? Thanks. 

[Post Oak 20,209]

You pedantic fucks

[Katfid54 8,623]

anyone know how far it is to Silsbee, Texas?

[gernblansten 3,196]

[Frank Drebin 5,662]

3 hours ago, Reynolds Woodcock said:

As long as FSU isn’t in the SEC or Big 10, they don’t belong on a list. I’d still put Florida above them for that reason. They’ve been wandering in the desert for a bit, but that job has a lot going for it. 

Florida is a top-5 job.  A&M is not a top 10 job.

[Huckleberry 32,850]

28 minutes ago, satyanash said:

"Wreaks"

 

I look forward to Texas's next coaching search when dozens of whiners on this board or whatever iteration takes its place cry about how our coaching searches are so embarrassing and completely forget how the vast majority of coaching searches at other big time programs look the exact same. 

[lemonandaturd 4,285]

9 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

anyone know how far it is to Silsbee, Texas?

Not far enough.  

[Frank Drebin 5,662]

3 hours ago, Hornlover said:

Texas A&M (ranked 1-5 , with 5 being best)
fertile recruiting region - 5
how big a city and how many busineses - 2.5
financial wherewithal and number of living alumni - 5
confererence - 5
facilities - 5++
existing brand and history - 3
academic restrictions - 5

Tell me they're not a top 5 job.

A&M's main problem is that it is closely surrounded by three much better programs.  OU to the North.  Texas to the West.  LSU to the East.  All three programs shit all over those weird fucks.

[Rimbo 25,916]

3 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:

I look forward to Texas's next coaching search when dozens of whiners on this board or whatever iteration takes its place cry about how our coaching searches are so embarrassing and completely forget how the vast majority of coaching searches at other big time programs look the exact same. 

I mean, I essentially argued earlier that being a big-time program tends to make it MORE of a shitshow, because the big-time programs tend to fall into the "throw lots of money at a popular name" category rather than actually do a real coaching search.

[Richter 2,257]

Do ya'll know if HEB is open today?

[Codaxx 5,731]

40 minutes ago, satyanash said:

"Wreaks"

 

How can you not replace your head coach in 24 hours? WTF, are they doing.. Amazing!!

[Sgt. Slaughter 2,841]

20 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

anyone know how far it is to Silsbee, Texas?

We’re arguing population, not geography, you dumb bitch.

[Jebus 1,305]

5 minutes ago, Richter said:

Do ya'll know if HEB is open today?

@Red Five you're good to come back to the thread, everything is fine now

[BornAndRaised 12,281]

I liked this thread better when you guys were wishcasting tosh lupoi as our d-line coach. holy fuck no one cares about metro sizes

[Codaxx 5,731]

7 minutes ago, Sgt. Slaughter said:

We’re arguing population, not geography, you dumb bitch.

I wish there was a place you could go to find out simple facts like population of a city.. 

[Katfid54 8,623]

13 minutes ago, Sgt. Slaughter said:

We’re arguing population, not geography, you dumb bitch.

how much people is 1 Silsbee?

[SydneyCarton 48,069]

41 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

And has anything happened in regards to these in the past 3 hours?

No.

So we're fine. Lemme know if anything actually important happens, and I'll keep shitposting about Audrey, Marilyn, and all the weakass fucks who merely want to be Audrey and Marilyn.

And @SydneyCarton, Michigan IS a higher tier than Ohio State, but not because of their location. Michigan is Marilyn Monroe, and tOSU is Jayne Mansfield; plenty hot in her own right, but no Marilyn Monroe.

Ok. Then break down why it's better, Mr. "They're all hot in their own way" before turning around and going from subjective to definitive. 

[closetojumping 62,587]

41 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

And has anything happened in regards to these in the past 3 hours?

No.

So we're fine. Lemme know if anything actually important happens, and I'll keep shitposting about Audrey, Marilyn, and all the weakass fucks who merely want to be Audrey and Marilyn.

And @SydneyCarton, Michigan IS a higher tier than Ohio State, but not because of their location. Michigan is Marilyn Monroe, and tOSU is Jayne Mansfield; plenty hot in her own right, but no Marilyn Monroe.

This bullshit is indefensible, so spare us the rationalization. Start a thread about job rankings on the football board. Discussing various dl coach options, rumors about that or other vacancies for other schools. Any of that is better. 

[HenryJames 66,038]

48 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Could someone PM me when it's safe to return to this thread when it's no longer hot garbage? Thanks. 

[Vito Andolini 9,125]

56 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Boy, what a fucking dumpster fire this thread has become. It’s cool though, it’s not as if Texas has any key personnel vacancies or anything. Nothing else happening that could domino some things either. Yeah, fuck it, argue over unprovable shit or argue over population counts across the country. Riveting shit. 

[Chili dog 1,787]

[SarkAfterDark 1,688]

Imagine thinking someone looking for discussion on our coaching vacancies or how other school vacancies could affect us, finding this thread, seeing this stupid bullshit and wanting to sign up and become a member on this site.

[BornAndRaised 12,281]

At this point I'd take Ketch coming back in with "I Heard the staff could be interested in X" post. Just make this shit stop.

[JesusSweatDuck 17,781]

1 minute ago, SarkAfterDark said:

Imagine thinking someone looking for discussion on our coaching vacancies or how other school vacancies could affect us, finding this thread, seeing this stupid bullshit and wanting to sign up and become a member on this site.

Just now, BornAndRaised said:

At this point I'd take Ketch coming back in with "I Heard the staff could be interested in X" post. Just make this shit stop.

@TheMailBox357 what's the news from your ham guy?

[BornAndRaised 12,281]

I was half joking. Don't tag him.

[Sgt Hulk 13,713]

Did you guys know the population of Charleston is 750K now. 

[JesusSweatDuck 17,781]

1 minute ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Did you guys know the population of Charleston is 750K now. 

[SydneyCarton 48,069]

14 minutes ago, SarkAfterDark said:

Imagine thinking someone looking for discussion on our coaching vacancies or how other school vacancies could affect us, finding this thread, seeing this stupid bullshit and wanting to sign up and become a member on this site.

Imaginet thinking someone looking for discussion on our coaching vacancy WASN'T going to first go to the Football board, where this is a Nick Saban thread, and a Bo Davis thread. And then imagine someone going to the football board, seeing their stupid bullshit, and wanting to sign up to be a member of this site. 
 

[BurntOrange&White 39,930]

38 minutes ago, BornAndRaised said:

I liked this thread better when you guys were wishcasting tosh lupoi as our d-line coach. holy fuck no one cares about metro sizes

Small metro vibes coming from you bro