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2024 Texas Football Coaching and Support Staff Thread

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Michael Knight

Michael Knight 12989

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I realize we're in the land of "All Gas, No Brakes" and such, but hit the fucking brakes here. Michael Knight strolls through with terrible takes on occasion. That is a given. At the same time, it's a way of life for you. It's not even close.

Happy I Love You GIF by Warner Bros. Deutschland

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SamMan
SamMan

Totally. Hiring a guy who was drafted by Nick Saban, coached by Dan Quinn, worked under Bo Davis for three years, has eight years of experience coaching the position in college, has recruited the stat

SydneyCarton
SydneyCarton

I will douse BurntOrange&White and BillFromLakeTravis in gasoline and set them on fire to retain Bo Davis while getting rid of Terry Joseph. 

HenryJames
HenryJames

He left A&M.

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48112

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

Are you serious Clark?  

He was paraphrasing Walter in Big Lebowski 

This going to come as a shock to you, but I don’t have every movie ever memorized. 
 

I recognized the possibility in my post. 

Edited by SydneyCarton
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closetojumping

closetojumping 62747

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Expecting someone to understand an obscure quote from an overrated movie after he comes to the thread posting dumb shit. 

There are a lot of bad movie takes on this board. People espousing the virtues of dated, unfunny trash like the Blues Brothers and Animal House, or guys like Sydney telling us constantly how awesome superhero movies are, but this one may the worst of all of them. 

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BurntOrange&White

BurntOrange&White 39934

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

There are a lot of bad movie takes on this board. People espousing the virtues of dated, unfunny trash like the Blues Brothers and Animal House, or guys like Sydney telling us constantly how awesome superhero movies are, but this one may the worst of all of them. 

It’s a good movie but it’s 100% overrated on this board 

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Hank_Hill

Hank_Hill 18888

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40 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

Unimpressed The Big Lebowski GIF by Working Title

 

and yes I looked it up, it is legal to keep a capuchin monkey in Texas but my jokes are lazier than my takes

Junior year at Texas I lived in a house on San Pedro, new neighbors had moved in a week earlier. Was sitting on the back deck smoking a fat solo morning hangover bowl when a fucking capuchin plops off my fence onto the deck next to me. I was legitimately concerned my weed had been laced until the new neighbor poked his head over the fence looking for “Kong”  /csb

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Dbeasy

Dbeasy 15072

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Expecting someone to understand an obscure quote from an overrated movie after he comes to the thread posting dumb shit. 

And…..Helobious takes the lead into the turn, but here comes BO&W! Helobious.  BO&W.  Helobious. BO&W. They are headed down the stretch, neck and neck.  Which one is going to pull ahead at the finish?

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TejasPedro

TejasPedro 1858

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Michael Knight said:

Ed Orgeron would have been a disaster at Texas, dude hasn't coached in 2 years and was last working as the CEO of a clothing company he is fucking checked out. You think Banks and the monkey are an embarrassment to the university imagine how many coeds this dude would be caught finger banging on lake travis.

I don’t see coach O finger banging coeds, those sausage fingers covered in worms and dirt, with filthy fingernails maybe that flys down in red stick, in the ATX, prolly..nah. 

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South Austin

South Austin 52521

Posted
Posted
57 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

There are a lot of bad movie takes on this board. People espousing the virtues of dated, unfunny trash like the Blues Brothers and Animal House, or guys like Sydney telling us constantly how awesome superhero movies are, but this one may the worst of all of them. 

 

image.gif

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mr. sunshine

mr. sunshine 2827

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Michael Knight said:

Unimpressed The Big Lebowski GIF by Working Title

 

and yes I looked it up, it is legal to keep a capuchin monkey in Texas but my jokes are lazier than my takes

I love monkeys but with my luck I'd adopt one of those little bastards that I wake up to him/her eating my face off

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NoName

NoName 16355

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

This is a dumb fucking post.

First, who the fuck is "You" here? I don't consdier the monkey or jeff banks an embarassment to the univeristy, so speak for your fucking self. To paraphrase Don Draper, I don't think about them at all, other than Jeff Banks is a fucking special teams wizard and a hell of a fucking recruiter. If he's happy and they're not doing anything illegal, who gives a flying fuck?

Second, Orgeron by all accounts was a wildman, but was a faithful wildman during his first marriage of two fucking decades. He got divorced, had money, and went fucking apeshit for strange like pretty much every other motherfucker who's ever had a divorce in their lives that had money and got out of a marriage that spanned decades. Now he's about to be married again to a hot piece of older ass that's still likely well younger than him. I think he'll fucking be fine.

The motherfucker worked at USC for years and "fingerbanging coeds at the beach" wasnt a fucking thing then for a reason. That reason is it didn't happen and it was shit you just made up in your fucking head. 

As for being checked out, maybe. But the guy has said he's missed coaching and I've known more than a handful of guys in my life that have retired, gotten bored, decided they missed their jobs and un-retired. That's guys I know. Now, how many times have we heard and seen that shit from proffessional athletes and coaches? More than I can fucking count.  

Coach O was the poster boy for the "really good assistant coach, really good recruiter, really good developer, players love him, fucking terrible head coach" - anyone acting like Ed fucking Orgeron would have been a bad hire are delusional.

plenty of reasons not to hire him, but being concerned about him not performing ain't one of them.

that guy don't know shit.

Edited by NoName
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Sandbagging Steve

Sandbagging Steve 982

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

Erroneous.  In the summer of 2005, he repeatedly maintained that Billy Pittman was going to have a massive year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Been a bit of a dry spell since then.

It's because that was the last time he left his house. The diameter of his cankles is wider than the length of his shoes.

 

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Caver60

Caver60 395

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

Junior year at Texas I lived in a house on San Pedro, new neighbors had moved in a week earlier. Was sitting on the back deck smoking a fat solo morning hangover bowl when a fucking capuchin plops off my fence onto the deck next to me. I was legitimately concerned my weed had been laced until the new neighbor poked his head over the fence looking for “Kong”  /csb

That's so accurate. Random awesome Austin shit.

I was a poor and frequently worked on my truck in our garage in a north campus condo. One night I took my buddies catfishing and forgot to throw away the extra chicken livers when we got home. The next week I was working on the truck again, and the garage was filled with this awful smell. Obviously I forgot to throw away the chicken livers from the week before.

But because I'm sort of a negligent dick, I blamed my girlfriend for farting in the garage. Bye bye girlfriend, but it was all for the best. That's when I remembered the chicken livers. So I walked the ice chest full of rotten chicken livers out of our garage and along an alley next to yards full of future Austin assholes behind our condo. They were tech people who had just moved in from California, no shit. Anyway, I dumped that ice chest out in our dumpster and the smell was honestly horrific. The California folks had been having some wine and cheese deal in their backyard. Obviously I nuked that shit. They literally ran away screaming.

I suppose the whole point of this is that if a monkey named Kong had appeared right then, it would not have been an aberration. That was a huge part of what I loved about Austin.

 

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Funk Doctor Spock

Funk Doctor Spock 12418

Posted
Posted
On 1/25/2024 at 8:51 PM, BruceVonClaude said:

My opinion: Sark has built capital to hire anyone he wanted once his alleged top candidates fell through.  Mike McDaniel felt he was important enough to be nominated to scout/coach the Senior bowl and was going to remain with the Dolphins even after Fangio was canned. He obviously crushed the interview process and came with some great references to be pulled from WKU by Fangio and then followed it up with the DL job at Texas after one season. Good for Baker.  Maybe he is a disaster, but I actually like Sark's play on this, regardless of the pussy rubbing from the peanut gallery.

Irregardless isn't a word 

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Funk Doctor Spock

Funk Doctor Spock 12418

Posted
Posted (edited)

Why are people like this? 

 

Also... I like what Bobby/Rod said about DL coaches in the NFL. They basically have a PHD in teaching players HOW to be successful. So this guy, regardless of if anyone has heard of him, was good enough to be hired by Fangio to work in the NFL. I think he may work out, and he can learn to recruit. We have some recruiting witches on the tram that can teach him. We'll be fine.

Edited by Spider2YBanana
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Hornlover

Hornlover 8830

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Caver60 said:

That's so accurate. Random awesome Austin shit.

I was a poor and frequently worked on my truck in our garage in a north campus condo. One night I took my buddies catfishing and forgot to throw away the extra chicken livers when we got home. The next week I was working on the truck again, and the garage was filled with this awful smell. Obviously I forgot to throw away the chicken livers from the week before.

But because I'm sort of a negligent dick, I blamed my girlfriend for farting in the garage. Bye bye girlfriend, but it was all for the best. That's when I remembered the chicken livers. So I walked the ice chest full of rotten chicken livers out of our garage and along an alley next to yards full of future Austin assholes behind our condo. They were tech people who had just moved in from California, no shit. Anyway, I dumped that ice chest out in our dumpster and the smell was honestly horrific. The California folks had been having some wine and cheese deal in their backyard. Obviously I nuked that shit. They literally ran away screaming.

I suppose the whole point of this is that if a monkey named Kong had appeared right then, it would not have been an aberration. That was a huge part of what I loved about Austin.

 

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Atticus

Atticus 3977

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

This sucks but not unexpected. Helped with game management along with another set of eyes for Jeff Banks.

 

Opens up another spot on the staff to fill. He was one of the 3 spec asst. to the HC guys on the team. He's going to USCe to be an actual on-field coach as special teams coordinator.

Much like Akina, can't blame them for taking the other offer.

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Js1

Js1 85433

Posted
Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, Atticus said:

Opens up another spot on the staff to fill. He was one of the 3 spec asst. to the HC guys on the team. He's going to USCe to be an actual on-field coach as special teams coordinator.

Much like Akina, can't blame them for taking the other offer.

And plenty of ST coaches are out of a job from the staff changes all over the NFL (and still from college) and are prime candidates to take a year off and be an analyst or assistant to the HC at Texas. The market is filled with them 

Losing Gary did not completely turn our defense into shit. Losing DeCamillis isn’t going to turn our ST into shit 

Edited by Js1
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closetojumping

closetojumping 62747

Posted
Posted
43 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

This sucks but not unexpected. Helped with game management along with another set of eyes for Jeff Banks.

 

I’m not saying Sarkisian will upgrade here because that would be silly, but there is a lot of quality out there for replacing him and I don’t think it’s a concern. To Twelve Win Thsteven’s credit, it’s another example of bringing a guy in as an off the field contributor who gets to build on the role into a promotion elsewhere. Good for him, good for Texas. 

25 minutes ago, ClubWhatever said:

Bobby was saying that guy was trying to get back to the NFL.   So either he failed or Bobby was misinformed.  Now watch South Carolina's special teams improve.

I hope they do. They are not on Texas’ schedule this season and I would prefer they be something better than a doormat. 

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