Common vernacular with objectionable origin

[Brisketexan 105095]

Rule of thumb was not about beating one's wife.   That was some internet dorks making shit up.  

Well…IS there a rule for that? Asking for…a friend.

[Ghost of LL 15531]

16 hours ago, F250 said:

Years ago, when my boys were in elementary, about 5th and 4th grade, I picked them up from their friend's house. There were about 8 boys throwing a football is the air then everyone would tackle the kid with the ball.

When my boys got in the truck, I asked them "y'all playing smear the queer?"

My kids reaction.

My oldest has since graduated college and is an officer in the Air Force and the other one is about to graduate from college. It's been years since they were in elementary. My youngest is in middle school and the respect for minorities is now considered "political" and is not being taught to the younger generation.

We are backsliding as a society.

Well, they're going to have some real trouble when they enter the workforce.  Because by the time they get into the workforce, the people who are young employees now are going to be the boss.  And let me tell you--they are frequently very sensitive and conscientious about these topics.  I don't think they're going to appreciate their subordinates not showing appropriate respect for minorities (or anyone, really).

9 hours ago, YGIFS said:

"Mixed Race" and/or "Mixed Marriage" 

I think of the scene in 'Soul Man', arguably the most racially offensive movie of the 20th century and that includes the filmography of Mister Al Jolson.  When the building super tells the white guy that his roommate is a person of color and the guy responds with, "Mark, a black negro?  This is news to me."  I used that once in a class at UT when some student said something to the effect of, "Well, easy for you to say as a white person."  And I replied, "Me, I'm white?  My mother is from Mexico and my first language was Spanish but I'm white?  This is news to us both, I assure you."  She then inquired about my name which, admittedly, does not sound Hispanic at all.  She closed with, "Okay, so you're mixed race then?"  I moved on quickly to the finance topic at hand, but chuckled that somebody so 'progressive' still used the term 'mixed race.'  

Few years before that we were in my wife's church's pre-marital counseling sessions.  Totally fine with me to appease her family and diocese.  So the guy at some point said, "As a mixed marriage couple, here are some classes/books you can engage in order to prepare for the ceremony."  But my defensive ass was like "Uh, mixed marriage?  I know I'm Latino, but we don't really use that term anymore.  Plus my people are the only part of your church that's growing in size, not shrinking."  And Deacon said, "Sorry.  I meant mixed as in you checked Lutheran and Jewish on the form here.  Mixed as in non-Catholic marrying a Catholic without converting."  And I laughed "Oh, yeah...that's fine.  Catholic lists of Protestants and Jews, totally fine, I get it."    /csb

This time of year, I also like to say 'Happy Christmas' because I've been to more than one country in my lifetime.  Sorry for partying/traveling.  

So fun thing as I watch L.A. Law, which is now streaming on Hulu and was one of my great television pleasures as a young person.  Back in the late 1980s and early 90s, L.A. Law was seen as a very progressive show.  It even had a transgender person on it.  But now you go back and watch it, and the word "yikes" frequently crosses your mind.

So let this be a lesson, particularly to all the GenZers who are oh-so-progressive and judgmental of their elders' perceived malfeasances: Today's progressivism is tomorrow's cringe.

[Nivek 16923]

dumb

Edited December 8, 2023 by Nivek

[TexasEd 8066]

I was coaching my 10 year old son's soccer team and told them the rules of a game I called "possession" which is basically team keep away.  The one Black boy on the team wanted to call it monkey in the middle.  I kelpt steering it away from that.

 

On 12/7/2023 at 11:09 PM, BeardIP said:

When I was at my first job out of college I had an older guy who had been around for a while as a mentor and every now and again he'd come by the cubicle and ask me "How's trick's?" and I didn't really understand it but by the context I could tell it meant "how are you doing/how are things/how is your workload today?"

Well, I used it once years later and had someone pull me aside and tell me that the origin is sexist and awful because it was what pimps would say to other pimps when they saw them in the streets. 

I was grateful that the coaching was done discreetly and they were polite about it.

I was the only man in a meeting with our team and my boss' boss.  The senior most person in the group used the "tricks" line.  It was this week.

Edited December 10, 2023 by TexasEd

[texasdago 7570]

Wait until your parents get in their 80s and 90s and you completely cringe at the stuff they say

 

On a side note, just for the record, my ass first touched the ground in Italy.  You are welcome to call me a dago.  

[Celery Man 20934]

Here’s an interesting one - this is a bouillon strainer more commonly known as a chinois

 

Chinois is French for Chinese 

[Guest]

Definitely slanted...

[YGIFS 19450]

54 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Here’s an interesting one - this is a bouillon strainer more commonly known as a chinois

 

Chinois is French for Chinese 

Wait, I was taking marital advice from Donna Chang?  And she's white?  I thought she had all this access to Confuciousness

[Gatorubet 30211]

On 12/7/2023 at 6:24 PM, Armybrat said:

Mighty white of the OP to bring this topic up.

Both of my adult sons freaked out when I told them that when I was young, I heard adults referred to Brazil nuts as something else.   

[Gatorubet 30211]

3 hours ago, texasdago said:

Wait until your parents get in their 80s and 90s and you completely cringe at the stuff they say

My mom. There was no force on earth that could prevent her from occasionally reminding us all that she was “free, white, and 21…”

[Sandman 3403]

23 hours ago, Incredulity said:

Sometime around 2008 or so I was traveling through Duluth, Minnesota and encountered a fairly prominent coffee chain in the area named Beaners.  I was stunned that I was seeing it and quite surprised that was accepted in the area.  Read a few years back they changed the name,  which made sense.

I can remember as a kid in the 70's, living in California and eating breakfast at Sambo's. As far as I knew, that name meant "Awesome Pancakes". 

[Gatorubet 30211]

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Here’s an interesting one - 

[safe sex 11709]

6 hours ago, Nivek said:

Rule of thumb was not about beating one's wife.   That was some internet dorks making shit up.  

One of my many sins committed by the film The Boondock Saints.

[Gatorubet 30211]

7 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

 

I wear it for a memorable honor, for I am Welsh, you know, good countryman…..and never pay a bet.

 

[Willfully Horn 8008]

On 12/7/2023 at 9:10 PM, Celery Man said:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Your_Ears_Hang_Low%3F
 

Lyrics make more sense with balls by quite a bit.

Now I have to wonder whether the Vietnamese lyrics to that tune, which have been stuck in my head for over forty years, speak of ears or balls.

wash ‘em wink em philo.

Edited December 9, 2023 by Willfully Horn

[Armybrat 40832]

9 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

My mom. There was no force on earth that could prevent her from occasionally reminding us all that she was “free, white, and 21…”

A very common thing in the 1960s

[Armybrat 40832]

13 hours ago, TexasEd said:

I was coaching my 10 year old son's soccer team and told them the rules of a game I called "possession" which is basically team keep away.  The one Black boy on the team wanted to call it money in the middle.  I kelpt steering it away from that.

 

I was the only man in a meeting with our team and my boss' boss.  The senior most person in the group used the "tricks" line.  It was this week.

Well, the business might be screwing somebody over.

[Murfdogg21 4412]

On 12/7/2023 at 11:49 PM, cactusflinthead said:

But, what if it's the Asian grocery store calling itself that?

I'm serious. Asian has supplanted oriental in my use and it's a little startling to see it still used on a marquee.

Pretty good little independent grocery store in Haltom City has it right in front.

I laughed. Was I supposed to get mad on their behalf? It's not my burden to correct them. 

"Hey! You're supposed to be offended!"

 

On 12/7/2023 at 7:04 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

About two years was once in a seminar for academics being given orientation for a program they were all in and a mathematics professor from West Texas A&M called a colleague “an Oriental whose nationality I’m not sure of.” That place fucking ERUPTED.

 

On 12/7/2023 at 10:07 PM, PRONG HORN said:

Oriental isn't offensive to real Asians.  Only Western Asians in just a few countries (USA/Australia) get butt hurt about it. 

Asian seems to have generally replaced Oriental, but still seems too general to me. Orient/oriental was a linguistic terms with no negative connotation to describe Asians of the far east. The  west Texas aggy prof said it correctly, I think? He was referring to someone as East Asian, more specific than including Indians or Pakistanis of the subcontinent or Turks of West Asia, but acknowledged that he did not know their specific nationality. Anyone offended by that has to want to be offended. 
 

That said, my northeastern MIL refers to all Orientals as Orientals with zero acknowledgment or concern if they are actually Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Cambodian, or Laotian.

[YGIFS 19450]

I once referred to a Bangladeshi neighbor as 'Asian', but it was an Occidental mistake...

[Nice Guy Eddie 13510]

On the story where a West Texas A&M colleague as “an Oriental whose nationality I’m not sure of” or honesty even if they referred to their colleague as an Asian, in what context does a Math professor need to refer to their colleague’s race during a seminar or conference session?

I never understood why some people are insistent about ensuring the subject’s race is included in a story about said person. I don’t know if that only occurs with white people or if people of others races do that when describing others of different races.

[956 Worldwide 34705]

2 hours ago, Murfdogg21 said:

 

 

Asian seems to have generally replaced Oriental, but still seems too general to me. Orient/oriental was a linguistic terms with no negative connotation to describe Asians of the far east. The  west Texas aggy prof said it correctly, I think? He was referring to someone as East Asian, more specific than including Indians or Pakistanis of the subcontinent or Turks of West Asia, but acknowledged that he did not know their specific nationality. Anyone offended by that has to want to be offended. 
 

That said, my northeastern MIL refers to all Orientals as Orientals with zero acknowledgment or concern if they are actually Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Cambodian, or Laotian.

My understanding is that “Oriental” is out of favor because there is an opposite, “Occidental” that no one uses when referring to people. You would use the nationality or “European” or “North American;” no one says “he is an Occidental.” So “Oriental” has the connotation of an undifferentiated mass of people from the East who are different from us and for whom that difference is a defining factor. 

 “Asian” or “South Asian” or “East Asian” is just a geographic descriptor and is more like what we say about ourselves and people like us.

 

1 hour ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

On the story where a West Texas A&M colleague as “an Oriental whose nationality I’m not sure of” or honesty even if they referred to their colleague as an Asian, in what context does a Math professor need to refer to their colleague’s race during a seminar or conference session?

I never understood why some people are insistent about ensuring the subject’s race is included in a story about said person. I don’t know if that only occurs with white people or if people of others races do that when describing others of different races.

The context was a prep session for people about to go and be placed in different universities overseas and talking about working with different cultures, so there was appropriateness in the anecdote, which was about finding common ground with a colleague you couldn’t talk to or shared many common experiences.  Nothing wrong with the story itself. Also the WTAMU prof was not a man.

There’s also an extra edge when you attach an article to a racial or ethnic or other descriptors. “Jim is a gay” just sounds off but “Jim is gay” is just a statement of fact. I think it’s cause the article makes it seem like that quality is the only defining and relevant thing to know about that person. 

Edited December 9, 2023 by 956 Worldwide

[Samson's Wig 3191]

17 hours ago, texasdago said:

Wait until your parents get in their 80s and 90s and you completely cringe at the stuff they say

 

On a side note, just for the record, my ass first touched the ground in Italy.  You are welcome to call me a dago.  

I'm certain it's been posted in this forum at one point or another (and probably where I saw it), but there have been studies that demonstrated that every last one of us gets more racist the closer we get to death.  Even contemplating our mortality increases our racism/otherism/tribalism.  I think it has something to do with yearning for the comfort of the familiar when we know time is short. I guess this is why people who never espoused such nonsense in their younger years suddenly get very, very tribal as they get older.  Certain media outlets know how to tap into this primal instinct better than others.   

My folks are in this age bracket, and while they haven't gone full-blown racist by any stretch, there is a much higher level of suspicion of others, particularly anyone not from Texas.  For those of us with the blessing of some time before we're facing mortality on a minute-by-minute basis, I think it's important to think about these things and come up with ways we can guard against these natural instincts when the time comes.

[Macanudo 12976]

2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

On the story where a West Texas A&M colleague as “an Oriental whose nationality I’m not sure of” or honesty even if they referred to their colleague as an Asian, in what context does a Math professor need to refer to their colleague’s race during a seminar or conference session?

I never understood why some people are insistent about ensuring the subject’s race is included in a story about said person. I don’t know if that only occurs with white people or if people of others races do that when describing others of different races.

I don't know if this is a white thing or not but I worked on ending this a while back.   Now I really notice how often people do it.  

[texasdago 7570]

2 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

I don't know if this is a white thing or not but I worked on ending this a while back.   Now I really notice how often people do it.  

We called out my dad the other night when he did it.  You mean that group, not that Jewish group, right?

[Bateshorn 9927]

15 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

Both of my adult sons freaked out when I told them that when I was young, I heard adults referred to Brazil nuts as something else.   

 

15 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

My mom. There was no force on earth that could prevent her from occasionally reminding us all that she was “free, white, and 21…”

I believe the correct nomenclature is “a grown ass woman of agency and means”

I don’t even bother telling my adult sons all the horrible things we used to say, just leave that shit in the past.

 

Here’s one for you: we, and many orgs I work with, are no longer allowed to use the term “brown bag lunch” for BYO working lunches.  Apparently the connection to the historical brown bag test is considered a micro aggression and triggering.

”Lunch and Learn” is the proper term for the time being. 

Edited December 9, 2023 by Bateshorn

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

On the story where a West Texas A&M colleague as “an Oriental whose nationality I’m not sure of” or honesty even if they referred to their colleague as an Asian, in what context does a Math professor need to refer to their colleague’s race during a seminar or conference session?

I never understood why some people are insistent about ensuring the subject’s race is included in a story about said person. I don’t know if that only occurs with white people or if people of others races do that when describing others of different races.

That depends if the QB is black or not.

 

Admittedly not as prevalent as it once was, but it still comes up. 

Edited December 9, 2023 by slorch

[Horn of Gabriel 1614]

On 12/8/2023 at 6:49 AM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

No big deal if you’re hurting offending other people as long as you didnt mean to? You’re better than that. However your intent can come into play. If your intent was ignorant or coming from a non-harmful place, then your apology might save your job.

Suggestion: if anyone believes intent should be interpretation factor, call someone at work the n-word but tell them it’s from a place of love and respect. See how that goes.

Are we talking hard or soft-R?

[TexasEd 8066]

12 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Well, the business might be screwing somebody over.

Apparently I typed money when I meant to type monkey.  Completely different.

[shadow_operative 15932]

On 12/8/2023 at 6:49 AM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

No big deal if you’re hurting offending other people as long as you didnt mean to? You’re better than that.

are you saying that any time anyone is offended that whoever offended them is in the wrong, no matter what? intent absolutely matters, it has to in any society of reasonable people. and this is more important now than it’s ever been. the generation of kids who are college aged or younger are in a daily foot race to see which of them can be victimized and traumatized the most often and the deepest. there are people out there who get offended over nothing. offending those people with zero intent does make you a bad person.

[shadow_operative 15932]

i recently saw a long thread online full of women who were all in an uproar about how wildly insensitive it is to tell a woman who’s recently lost weight that she looks great, because she may have IBS and your pointing to her weight loss as a positive thing can be traumatizing to her.

so, one day you walk into the office, and your coworker who’s lost 15-20 lbs looks particularly good, you notice and give her a friendly compliment, and you’re an asshole if she has IBS and you don’t know it? i’m sorry, i don’t agree with that.

Edited December 10, 2023 by shadow_operative

[Gatorubet 30211]

53 minutes ago, shadow_operative said:

i recently saw a long thread online full of women who were all in an uproar about how wildly insensitive it is to tell a woman who’s recently lost weight that she looks great, because she may have IBS and your pointing to her weight loss as a positive thing can be traumatizing to her.

so, one day you walk into the office, and your coworker who’s lost 15-20 lbs looks particularly good, you notice and give her a friendly compliment, and you’re an asshole if she has IBS and you don’t know it? i’m sorry, i don’t agree with that.

“Hey, you’re not as fat now and I might consider sex with you”

Not sure what her beef is sport?  Tip:  Her weight is none of your fucking business, up or down.  Feel free to tell her “that’s a nice dress.”.   I mean - as long as you’re not rubbing your crotch while saying it.  

I know, all these modern woke rules.  

[shadow_operative 15932]

18 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

“Hey, you’re not as fat now and I might consider sex with you”

this is what i’m talking about when i talk about people being dead determined to be offended. nobody in the aforementioned thread said a word about men, or about being hit on. it was about *people* complimenting them after they’d lost weight. but thank you for your shining example of the hypersensitive world of today.

Edited December 10, 2023 by shadow_operative

[shadow_operative 15932]

1 hour ago, shadow_operative said:

are you saying that any time anyone is offended that whoever offended them is in the wrong, no matter what? intent absolutely matters, it has to in any society of reasonable people. and this is more important now than it’s ever been. the generation of kids who are college aged or younger are in a daily foot race to see which of them can be victimized and traumatized the most often and the deepest. there are people out there who get offended over nothing. offending those people with zero intent does make you a bad person.

does not* lol.

[Willfully Horn 8008]

6 hours ago, Horn of Gabriel said:

Are we talking hard or soft-R?

If you’re talking ruger, it’s got to be hard.

[Parliament 14255]

When singing along to 90’s era gangster rap, I don’t say the n word when it comes up.  Good practice I say.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13510]

11 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

are you saying that any time anyone is offended that whoever offended them is in the wrong, no matter what? intent absolutely matters, it has to in any society of reasonable people. and this is more important now than it’s ever been. the generation of kids who are college aged or younger are in a daily foot race to see which of them can be victimized and traumatized the most often and the deepest. there are people out there who get offended over nothing. offending those people with zero intent does make you a bad person.

No, the “offender” is not always 100% in the wrong but their benign intent doesn’t absolve them of guilt either. In my experience the only people that I’ve seen slammed a bit for saying the wrong thing, have a long history of saying the wrong thing. And they’ve refuse to change their behavior when a questionable word or phrase is challenged.

If someone is told that their words or behavior is offending or even just annoying to others, why use it? Especially at work or a social event?

could someone get fired or ostracized for saying the wrong thing once? Yep. That’s a risk if you use words or slang that are not part of that group’s norm.

[texasdago 7570]

21 hours ago, BeardIP said:

I said, “oh man, I bet they were black”

I mean... definitely not the N word but 

[HornOnTheBayou 8921]

22 hours ago, BeardIP said:

My nephew was telling me how his dumb little short junior high private school got blasted by public school kids in a tournament last week. They were incredulously telling me “they were all 6 ft at least and one kid could dunk!”

I said, “oh man, I bet they were black” and they were aghast and horrified as if I’d said the N-word. I mean, we still make observations with our eyeballs right and can use obvious descriptors and inferences or am I an oldie who needs sensitivity training?

[aggie08 21496]

13 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

i recently saw a long thread online full of women who were all in an uproar about how wildly insensitive it is to tell a woman who’s recently lost weight that she looks great, because she may have IBS and your pointing to her weight loss as a positive thing can be traumatizing to her.

so, one day you walk into the office, and your coworker who’s lost 15-20 lbs looks particularly good, you notice and give her a friendly compliment, and you’re an asshole if she has IBS and you don’t know it? i’m sorry, i don’t agree with that.

As you general rule, you shouldn't be commenting on anyone's physical appearance in the workplace, especially if you think a female colleague is looking "particularly good." It's weird. Leave it to their actual friends to tell them how great they look.

[YGIFS 19450]

^

Yep, this.  Just never say shit about fuck at all, ever to anybody except maybe if it's Halloween, Christmas, Mardi Gras, Saint Patrick's, or some other holiday that has colors associated with it and the person is obviously trying to look celebratory with their attire, and you can simply say, "Good morning, you look festive today" or "That's a festive ensemble", something like that.  Otherwise, I never say anything ever to either gender about appearance, weight, or clothing.  There's only down sides to it.  No office meeting ever started or ended with, "Hey, you know is always giving out thoughtful comments about coworkers?  That Lobo fellow."  That's literally never happened in the history of offices.  But every single day all over the world, there's sure as shit a, "You know who says creepy shit all the time?"  

About 12 years ago, I had heard from a mutual friend that a staffer at a non-profit I worked with was pregnant.  I'm bad with names and always have been.  So their holiday party rolls around and we go.  And I saw who I thought was the expectant mother there, along with many others.  I was just nervously chatting with people about innocuous holiday shit as usual.  This woman who looked long in the waist was getting a hot cocoa with no booze in it.  And I knew she worked for said non-profit.  So we're chatting and I moronically said, "And hey, heard the good news...congratulations."  She was not pregnant, just not drinking at a work function and a distended belly.  Not even sure how I tried to play it off, but it was horrifying to me (and still haunts me).  I don't think I've seen her since.  From that day forward, I never say shit to anybody about anything.  If a woman is expecting and wants you to know---she'll tell you.  And then you can regale her with compliments and adulation.  

I tell every male that's ever worked for me..."You never, ever say anything to a woman about being pregnant even if you think it's a benign congratulations.  If she's fishing for a compliment on her bun in the oven, she'll let you know.  Only time you ever open your fucking mouth about a pregnancy is if you see her baby's head crowning and she screams out for help.  And even then, it's very likely an elaborate social media prank."  

Edited December 10, 2023 by YGIFS

['stache 21802]

Man, I thought it was universal that you shouldn’t comment on peoples’ weigh unless they’re on a public weight loss journey or something. There are lots of reasons, the weight loss might be inadvertent and telling them they look good specifically because of weight loss means you noticed them being heavier before, something they might have never even entered their mind. Hell it’s happened to me, I was feeling self conscious having looked in the mirror a while back and feeling I had put on some pounds. Managed to drop a few and someone commented if I had lost some weight, basically confirmed my prior insecurities that people perceived me as heavier. Wouldn’t say I was “offended” but it was a shitty feeling in the moment. It’s different for women too who too often are valued by their looks over anything else. We’re better at that as a society but can always do better.

Edited December 10, 2023 by 'stache

[Poe It Up 126]

I had this come up recently when my son and his friends came running up to the front door laughing and out of breath. He said “we just ding dong ditched a house, did you ever do that?” I said yeah, but we called it, um never mind. 

[Brisketexan 105095]

As you general rule, you shouldn't be commenting on anyone's physical appearance in the workplace, especially if you think a female colleague is looking "particularly good." It's weird. Leave it to their actual friends to tell them how great they look.

I have two “safe” compliments I give to females:
1) “those are fantastic shoes.” Safe because it’s GENERALLY not creepy (if the shoes show off a lot of her bare feet, steer clear of a compliment), and also because women are usually very excited about their shoes, so it’s solid validation and makes her happy.
2) “that’s a great color” (re a blouse, dress, etc.) - never a word about the cut, or how SHE looks in it. Compliment only the color. Because again, any color is a “risk,” and your compliment validates her choice.
The third option might be to compliment her purse/handbag - again, pretty safe.

Compliments are great, they make people feel better about themselves. But you should stay in a very narrow, very safe lane.

[YGIFS 19450]

Shoes & Blouse Color, Brisket?  Kenny Loggins called and you're in the muthafuckin' DANGER ZONE!  

You're a bolder man than I.  Only time I ever look down at a woman is when she's walking away so I can get a look at her ass, not her shoes.  I didn't even know they had anything going on down past the knees.  Like I said about holiday colored outfits, I may say, "Hey, how festive" but would never veer into oncoming trouble and talk about the color or a regular workday blouse or dress.  It's like my father used to say to the secretary pool ladies, "Hey, is that thing salmon or peach?"  The woman would look down at her bright blouse, pinch the sleeve or collar, and say, "Oh, you mean this?" To which he'd reply, "No, your vagina...would you describe it as peach or salmon?"  Yeah, it was a different time. 

[Poe It Up 126]

Stay away from compliments, just show them you like what you see with a big fat goosing. 

[Willfully Horn 8008]

I think a change of hairstyles is safe to compliment.

I like what you’ve done with your hair. 

[Brisketexan 105095]

Shoes & Blouse Color, Brisket?  Kenny Loggins called and you're in the muthafuckin' DANGER ZONE!  
You're a bolder man than I.  Only time I ever look down at a woman is when she's walking away so I can get a look at her ass, not her shoes.  I didn't even know they had anything going on down past the knees.  Like I said about holiday colored outfits, I may say, "Hey, how festive" but would never veer into oncoming trouble and talk about the color or a regular workday blouse or dress.  It's like my father used to say to the secretary pool ladies, "Hey, is that thing salmon or peach?"  The woman would look down at her bright blouse, pinch the sleeve or collar, and say, "Oh, you mean this?" To which he'd reply, "No, your vagina...would you describe it as peach or salmon?"  Yeah, it was a different time. 

I’m dangerous, it’s true - it’s why Iceman was reluctant to fly with me.

And man, the shoes thing is MONEY. Seriously, women generally love their shoes more than any other accessory, so when they get a compliment about them, it’s a huge boost. “Those shoes are awesome,” or “those shoes are super cool” (again, use very innocuous/innocent compliment words like “super cool”) gets a thank you and a smile 100% of the time.

As for blouse color, again, keep it super simple - “that’s a great color.” Avoid “wow…cantaloupe is a great color on you…really highlights your juicy melons,” which is a coupla bridges too far.

[Jkwellborn 6697]

Mighty white of the OP to bring this topic up.

For the longest time when I was a kid, I thought they said mighty wide of you.

[Gatorubet 30211]

14 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I’m dangerous, it’s true - it’s why Iceman was reluctant to fly with me.

And man, the shoes thing is MONEY. Seriously, women generally love their shoes more than any other accessory, so when they get a compliment about them, it’s a huge boost. “Those shoes are awesome,” or “those shoes are super cool” (again, use very innocuous/innocent compliment words like “super cool”) gets a thank you and a smile 100% of the time.

As for blouse color, again, keep it super simple - “that’s a great color.” Avoid “wow…cantaloupe is a great color on you…really highlights your juicy melons,” which is a coupla bridges too far.

Ditto the shoes thing.   I have never gotten less than positive feedback and appreciation for a comment about a female’s new pair of shoes (that may have involved more thought and budget decision-making than the entirety of the wardrobes I’ve worn in 10 years.)

Shadow Operative - Pro tip: “Nice Tits” is a no-go unless you are an Austin City Commission staffer

[shadow_operative 15932]

2 hours ago, aggie08 said:

As you general rule, you shouldn't be commenting on anyone's physical appearance in the workplace, especially if you think a female colleague is looking "particularly good." It's weird. Leave it to their actual friends to tell them how great they look.

i was not descriptive enough with my post. it was about friends, family, colleagues, coworkers, neighbors, *anyone* commenting that they looked good after having it iced their weight loss. such an innocent thing, someone noticing that you do in fact look better and giving you a friendly compliment, obviously in the dark about the fact that you’ve lost weight because you’re sick, and that your innocent compliment was triggering to them.