How to talk to a friend/ coworker about a health condition that may/may not exist.

[Guest]

I have known this co-worker about 6 months and am working out of town with them this week.  We leave hotel this evening to go grab dinner with 3rd colleague.  I am driving and don't even remember who made a joke but we all start laughing and I swear co-worker in passenger seat passed out from brief intense laughter. He's about 6'0" and 260 at least, kind of Fred Flintstone build with short legs and heavier chest/ gut.  He is in his late 30's/ early 40's.

There were a few  moments of silence and I'm not sure buddy in back seat noticed.  I was driving and didn't look directly over, but I thought I saw his head slump over temporarily.  He then raises his head and I ask, " Hey brother are you ok?"  I think he might have been embarrassed, so I didn't ask again.  A few moments pass and he asks, "Where is my phone?"  I told him to check the floorboard by his feet and he eventually found it

#1 he had been driving the last 2 days, so I volunteered to drive tonight.  Thank the Lord.

#2 I called backseat dude after we got back from dinner and he said he thought something happened, but couldn't tell until our buddy asked where his phone was.  Again, I felt like he was really embarassed, so I didn't bring it up at dinner at all.  One other indicator of things being "off," is that this guy almost always eats everything on his plate.  He left about half of his portion of meat from dinner.

#3 Do I ask phone man about it and encourage him to seek medical help, or would that be over the line?  I'm kinda worried, but also want to respect his space.  The only other person who knows is the 2nd colleague.  Am I too worried about a possible one-off situation?

[blacklab 11,955]

Nothing wrong with getting him alone and saying, "hey the other night when we were all laughing it looked like you passed out for a minute, everything ok"

 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,110]

Yeah, I think you bite the bullet and talk to him when you're alone, but I wouldn't wait too long for a perfect opportunity if a less-perfect opportunity presents itself first.

If he's touchy or pissy about it, at least you tried. You'll both get over it eventually. And you can live with yourself if he keels over dead tomorrow. 

But if something is fucked with his system and he doesn't know it (or perhaps on some level he suspects but he's been in denial or minimizing it internally), then bringing it up could be life-saving. 

[ROFL BOX 6,649]

Better to discuss this now vs. later when memories get a bit fuzzier.

You would be doing the right thing.

[HornOnTheBayou 8,950]

9 hours ago, blacklab said:

Nothing wrong with getting him alone and saying, "hey the other night when we were all laughing it looked like you passed out for a minute, everything ok"

 

This. I know it's a stereotype, but guys generally hate going to the doctor especially for something that seems small. But this could get worse and he needs to get checked up soon.

[SurlyGator 882]

100% bring it up  one on one and from an aspect of concern.  Remind him that he had driven the previous nights, and what if he was driving that night?  Syncope, regardless of the root cause, needs further medical investigation.  Could be neurological, cardiac, respitory, maybe other causes.  Start with his primary care doc (he needs to get one if he doesn't have one), and they can direct to specialists as needed.

[deadshank 24,653]

Steal his wallet and Sharpie his face when he's out.

Seriously, tell him what happened and you're concerned.  No harm in that.  Too much pussyfooting around nowadays.

[BottleRocket 647]

Tell him that you aint doing mouth to mouth on him so get your ass to the doctor asap.

[Handcruser 2,805]

Ask him what kind of casket he prefers and if he wants you to delete his browser history.

[Guest]

So we discussed it this afternoon and he was receptive, even though he did not remember being 'out.' That is a common trait for this condition.  Said he was going to seek medical attention and get evaluated.

Wild 24 hours.  I truly wondered if dude was dying in the car as we went down the road.  Never want that to happen again!!!

Thanks for the input and feedback in the thread!

Edited December 15, 2023 by slorch

[Prepuce of Doom 21,110]

Keep us posted! 

[StassneyHorn 6,643]

My dad had something similar happen when he was talking to my uncle on the phone a few months back. Started laughing too hard and fainted because short on breath. Had happened once before a few years back when he was coughing and had some respiratory illness, unfortunately when he fainted he rolled out of bed and hit his head in the corner of some drawers and got a concussion and trip to the emergency room.

You did right by speaking with him about it. You have an idea of what it is or not know enough to discuss?

[williemackgarza 1,826]

This exact shit happened to a fam member. Ended up being epilepsy. Some scary shit when it happened. Hes getting treated but pretty private about it. Good on you for bringing it up. Dude onows about it and is playing dumb id bet outta embarrassment.

[Guest]

@StassneyHorn haven't followed up.  We work on a project again in the 2nd week of Jan and we'll have some time to talk.

Dude is  like very intelligent and copped to getting medical care right away.  and if he doesn't, I'll tell his wife...LOL.

Not really, but yeah, it was disturbing & scary to say the least, and I would feel that way about any family or friend that had been in the same situation.

Syncope is what has come up the most when I searched the symptoms.

Edited December 23, 2023 by slorch

[Bevo 13,601]

3 hours ago, slorch said:

@StassneyHorn haven't followed up.  We work on a project again in the 2nd week of Jan and we'll have some time to talk.

Dude is  like very intelligent and copped to getting medical care right away.  and if he doesn't, I'll tell his wife...LOL.

Not really, but yeah, it was disturbing & scary to say the least, and I would feel that way about any family or friend that had been in the same situation.

Syncope is what has come up the most when I searched the symptoms.

Syncope means fainting/passing out. It better come up when searching the symptoms.

[Buzzrock 14,949]

A buddy of mine experiences this. He calls it his “glitch” and I’ve seen it happen once when he was laughing really hard during a wine tasting night at my house. He just blacks out for about 10-15 seconds or so. Side effect was dropping a full glass of red wine on my outdoor rug.

He did see a doc who ran some tests and said it’s harmless in his case.

[Sandman 3,417]

My late brother-in-law had this happen to him a few times. Once he was at Chili's and was laughing so hard, he fell out of one of those elevated booths they have, smashed his head on the floor. A few years later, he wound up having open heart surgery and eventually passed away from a heart condition. I don't know for sure if the 2 things were connected but it seems like it, to my uneducated ass.

Tell that guy to get checked out ASAP. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Buzzrock said:

A buddy of mine experiences this. He calls it his “glitch” and I’ve seen it happen once when he was laughing really hard during a wine tasting night at my house. He just blacks out for about 10-15 seconds or so. Side effect was dropping a full glass of red wine on my outdoor rug.

He did see a doc who ran some tests and said it’s harmless in his case.

Unless he's driving or operating machinery/ holding an infant/ etc/etc.

That's a tough diagnosis to fathom/

[Buzzrock 14,949]

Unless he's driving or operating machinery/ holding an infant/ etc/etc.
That's a tough diagnosis to fathom/

Or juggling chainsaws or tightrope walking right?

[PRONG HORN 3,161]

On 12/23/2023 at 2:20 PM, slorch said:

@StassneyHorn haven't followed up.  We work on a project again in the 2nd week of Jan and we'll have some time to talk.

Dude is  like very intelligent and copped to getting medical care right away.  and if he doesn't, I'll tell his wife...LOL.

Not really, but yeah, it was disturbing & scary to say the least, and I would feel that way about any family or friend that had been in the same situation.

Syncope is what has come up the most when I searched the symptoms.

 

 

It's possible this was the first time it happened and you are the one who knows the most about it.  He may have no idea that he passed out, just that something happened.  If he has a wife and you personally know her, you should absolutely tell her as well.  Would you be invited to the funeral and have to look her in the face knowing you did nothing?  If something serious happens and I was your boss and found out about this and that you never talked to the guy about it, I would probably fire you.  It was disturbing and scary but you're waiting for an entire month to talk to him?  What is wrong with people that pronghorn has to be the one to tell someone what the right thing to do is?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

On 12/15/2023 at 3:22 PM, slorch said:

So we discussed it this afternoon and he was receptive, even though he did not remember being 'out.' That is a common trait for this condition.  Said he was going to seek medical attention and get evaluated.

Wild 24 hours.  I truly wondered if dude was dying in the car as we went down the road.  Never want that to happen again!!!

Thanks for the input and feedback in the thread!

Nah, man, we talked it  about within  the next day.  Said he had been told it happened once before.    I do believe him that he will seek medical care.  

Edited January 6 by slorch

[PRONG HORN 3,161]

 

Oh well ok then.  I guess you don’t need to be on the list anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

[Incredulity 11,683]

On 12/15/2023 at 10:58 AM, Handcruser said:

delete his browser history

This is SOP 

[beer 3,220]

Just a little harmless narcolepsy.