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Sub-Educated Cretins: The SEC screenshot mega-thread


SimkinsMan

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"... why are you guys (Texans) that way?"

I moved to Boulder in '93, and was talking with some old, and new, friends and colleagues.

I shared stories of my nomadic career in O&G and my kids being born in Oklahoma; how I took some dirt from my mothers home in Austin, put it in baggies, and put it under the hospital bed so my kids could be born on Texas soil.

Exasperated, one of my older Colorado friends asked me,

"... why are you guys (Texans) like that? You seem normal, until you start talking about Texas, and then, its all about Texas, the biggest this, the greatest that... Why are you that way? Do they teach you that in school?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, they do. 7th grade Texas History, everybody takes it."

With a blank expression looking back at me, "Oh. .. " "You know, ..., I got to be honest with you. I'm jealous. Every single person I've ever met from Texas acts that way. Every one. I wish I was from a place that everyone felt that way, that had that pride."

Many years later, at an industry conference, the same guy was late to a session, walked down the middle aisle, and found a seat on the front row. Later, I was kidding him about his bold entrance, standing out in the crowd. He winked and said, "I learned it from you."

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Wait, this dipshit wants you to believe he drove down from Fort Hood and was turned away at 3 bars because he was in Bama Gear so he turned around and drove an hour and a half back home.

There are 90 fucking bars down there.  He was either acting like a belligerent drunk asshole or straight-up lying.  Truth is probably a combo of those.

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3 hours ago, Not a Sock said:

Cocktail Party is overrated as shit, firstly the favorite almost always wins, not counting covid the last time there was an upset was in 2014 and secondly not only does the favorite almost always win but it’s an ass beating too, with the last one score game happening in 2013.

This is factual. No one's really cared about that one for years because there's always a heavy favorite, and the favorite always wins. It's a boring game and everyone knows it. Setting it on the border in Jacksonville sounds fun, but the NFL stadium environment makes it even more bland.

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I love seeing the questioning of how Texas is going to fit in socially with the SEC. Uhh, we’re not going to and will not give one fuck what any of the other fanbases think.

Exactly this. This is why the hate is already building. Texas isn’t coming to this conference to kiss anyone’s ring or assimilate to anyone’s culture. It’s just not who we are, and it shouldn’t be. And that makes people mad. 

At least they’re figuring out that when it comes to fitting in with SEC culture, Texas is…

image.gif.3c9ebdcdfecbed600b11daa18ff97c1e.gif

Edited by Hank Chinaski
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3 years ago when we announced the move to the SEC, several articles and posts came out about the possibility of moving the SEC headquarters out of Birmingham, and Dallas was one of the places mentioned.  ALL written by folks in the SEC.  We hadn't written or said shit about it.   

And all the fanbases started losing their collective minds about something that they had manufactured in the first place.   I hear the fear in their voice.

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3 minutes ago, SameSame said:

3 years ago when we announced the move to the SEC, several articles and posts came out about the possibility of moving the SEC headquarters out of Birmingham, and Dallas was one of the places mentioned.  ALL written by folks in the SEC.  We hadn't written or said shit about it.   

And all the fanbases started losing their collective minds about something that they had manufactured in the first place.   I hear the fear in their voice.

Rep for the Toadies reference

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38 minutes ago, Hank Chinaski said:

Exactly this. This is why the hate is already building. Texas isn’t coming to this conference to kiss anyone’s ring or assimilate to anyone’s culture. It’s just not who we are, and it shouldn’t be. And that makes people mad. 

They just figured since aggy bent over and spread their butt cheeks the second they joined...

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2 hours ago, irishtexan said:

Lots of quality fan fiction in there. Every single bar on 6th street turned you away because you're a bama fan. But at the same time most of the students don't care about football. Bama fans calling ANY OTHER FAN BASE arrogant. Good shit. 

I mean, it's possible that he was so utterly shitfaced that no bar would let him in but even then that's not really believable on dirty 6th.

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2 hours ago, AbeFroman said:

Wait, this dipshit wants you to believe he drove down from Fort Hood and was turned away at 3 bars because he was in Bama Gear so he turned around and drove an hour and a half back home.

There are 90 fucking bars down there.  He was either acting like a belligerent drunk asshole or straight-up lying.  Truth is probably a combo of those.

There are bandwagon Bama fans all over central Texas. No one gives two shits about them and certainly isn't a big meanie to them. If they were talking shit and being assholes at the door, I can see them being turned away. Otherwise, the guy is full of shit.

I know. On the internet?! No wai!

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

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A spy a lie. I'm sure he totally threw a folding chair at Texas fans. 

I'll never understand why people lie pathologically over stupid shit. Yes, I'm sure you really threw that chair, bud. 

Edited by Spider2YBanana
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7 hours ago, AbeFroman said:

Wait, this dipshit wants you to believe he drove down from Fort Hood and was turned away at 3 bars because he was in Bama Gear so he turned around and drove an hour and a half back home.

There are 90 fucking bars down there.  He was either acting like a belligerent drunk asshole or straight-up lying.  Truth is probably a combo of those.

Lying. Taken straight out of the aggy playbook. Sure you got thrown out, friend. I'm sure that really happened. No lies detected. Again, lying just to lie. Why? Chronically lying for the sake of lying. 

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4 hours ago, Spider2YBanana said:

A spy a lie. I'm sure he totally threw a folding chair at Texas fans. 

I'll never understand why people lie pathologically over stupid shit. Yes, I'm sure you really threw that chair, bud. 

Given that he said "in Knoxville", I'm assuming he was talking about the other UT.

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5 hours ago, TheBryMan81 said:

Given that he said "in Knoxville", I'm assuming he was talking about the other UT.

Ah, OK, the fake ut. Regardless, it's a lie. I still don't understand why people are pathological liars for no reason other than to reek of desperation for attention. 

One of the things I despise the most are pathological/chronic liars. 

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On 5/30/2024 at 6:50 PM, cmontexas said:

Lol at "West Commiefornia"

Although I guess anything is west if you go far enough 

Duh, it's west of Alabama, you stupid sip

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The stuff I read above was all too perfectly aligned with Aggie paranoia and compulsive lying. 

"Their whole conference told us how arrogant they are."

Exactly how does that work? Conference call? Convention? Pure Aggie invention just like the absurd claim that we throw urine on war veterans. I once asked if they thought we carried around vials of urine for chance encounters or produced the pee into a cup in the moment.

I will also say that some of the posts on here so vehemently saying how much we don't care and despise the SEC are also a little over-the-top. Or maybe I'm just out of touch with the mindsets of modern fans. 

Playing in the SEC will be fun. If they want to buy the Aggie lies, they're idiots, too. I doubt anywhere near a majority of SEC fans have any buy-in to the Aggie narratives. For one thing, the abject Aggies are telling their once-beloved brothers that they will all fall like punks before the mightiness of Texas. Who looks like idiots in that scenario?

Fuck it. Let's just play the games already.

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The SECSECSEC nonsense can be countered with at least one of the following.

Arrogance: "It ain't braggin' if ya ackshally done it." -- Dizzy Dean

Horns Down: Doesn't make us angry, it just verifies you're a dumbass. Anybody who's ever seen a real longhorn put its horns down knows you'd best be on the other side of the fence or close enough you can get up and over before those horns get there. PM UGA.

Texas Pride: It's funny, but I never heard anyone say they were proud to be from Iowa.

Act like Texas is a different Country: Do y'all fly a Republic of Alabama flag?

 

 

 

And SIAP, but: Never ask a man if he's from Texas - he'll tell you, soon enough.

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2 hours ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Maybe not as outlandish as this shit lol. But when I was TDY in Europe a Brit asked me where I was from and when I said Texas. He laughed and said most everyone says they are from America except Texans. You guys all say you’re from Texas. 

Because we know the difference. 😉

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Is Bama still pissed we beat them? They still won the SEC and made the CFP. We’re not taking their lunch money in recruiting. Bond and Nickelback departing after the GOAT retired was to be expected. 
 

I don’t understand the vitriol unless, they’re scared of NIL because of Saban fear mongering. 
 

I think it’ll be a fun, passionate conference, but get ready for this bullshit. Their mods are ass without any semblance of journalistic principles, ethics, or any desire to vet rumors. If Jim Bob tells Billy Bob at the Piggly Wiggly that Texas paid Arch Manning $50 million it’ll get repeated in the echo chamber and accepted as fact. It’ll never be challenged again.

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On 6/2/2024 at 6:43 PM, RomaVicta said:

…I will also say that some of the posts on here so vehemently saying how much we don't care and despise the SEC are also a little over-the-top. Or maybe I'm just out of touch with the mindsets of modern fans. 

Fuck it. Let's just play the games already.

If I buy anything that has an SEC patch sewn on it or has “SEC” embroidered in it, I am removing that shit. 

I am not advertising any fucking athletic conference, especially one filled with inbred morons. 

I don’t support the SEC, I support Texas. 

🤘

 

And regarding another post above, I don’t bring up where I’m from when I’m overseas, but if asked, I think that I usually say “Los Estados Unidos”, “Etats-Uni”, “The States”, or “Yanquilandia” if I’m in Argentina. When I first lived in Argentina, I would explain that I live in “Los Angeles, but gre up in Dallas.”, because LA was where I had been living for 8+ years and it was more interesting to Argentines & internationals than anywhere in Texas.

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2 hours ago, Napoleon said:

If I buy anything that has an SEC patch sewn on it or has “SEC” embroidered in it, I am removing that shit. 

I am not advertising any fucking athletic conference, especially one filled with inbred morons. 

I don’t support the SEC, I support Texas. 

🤘

 

And regarding another post above, I don’t bring up where I’m from when I’m overseas, but if asked, I think that I usually say “Los Estados Unidos”, “Etats-Uni”, “The States”, or “Yanquilandia” if I’m in Argentina. When I first lived in Argentina, I would explain that I live in “Los Angeles, but gre up in Dallas.”, because LA was where I had been living for 8+ years and it was more interesting to Argentines & internationals than anywhere in Texas.

You make your case well. I'd prefer no insignia for the conference just as you do. There's an obsession about branding that soars to absurdity. Texas and a few other schools in the SEC have brands in the since that their insignia and name carry meaning. Usually that meaning is excellence and a tradition of winning.

The SEC emblem is exactly as you say: a tacky form of advertising.

I am one of those persons, however, who does pull for other teams in the conference against non conference opponents because I want to believe winning whatever conference carries more weight. I also manage to actually like other teams in the conference even though I feel keen rivalry. 

The use of the word hate (you do not use it in your post) is over the top to me. The Aggies absolutely hate us and believe they are on a crusade against all that is evil. That's a pathology. I despised OU during the height of their cheating years and hated their ill-gotten success. 

I have only pulled for the Aggies a few times when they were underdogs putting up a great fight. It's one of the things I love about the sport. I haven't done so in decades now because of their absurd disposition towards us. I don't want to adopt their disposition towards anyone.

I don't feel spite towards the Big 12. I hated losing to Iowa State but loved them for their upstart toughness. You shouldn't have a team on your annual schedule that never beats you. Iowa State overdid it, but I can't hold it against them.

Okay, RomaVicta, stop rambling now. I'll never say anything about a brutal SEC schedule or how five wins in our conference is worth seven in any other. I'll never chant SEC. I'll never believe that belonging to the conference does anything for our prestige.

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Adding new rules to the drinking game.  Do a shot every time you read. “gRiNd oF thE sEc ScHeDuLe.”  Drink a beer everytime someone mentions fans crying about horns down gesture. 
 

rip 

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1 hour ago, RomaVicta said:

You make your case well. I'd prefer no insignia for the conference just as you do. There's an obsession about branding that soars to absurdity. Texas and a few other schools in the SEC have brands in the since that their insignia and name carry meaning. Usually that meaning is excellence and a tradition of winning.

The SEC emblem is exactly as you say: a tacky form of advertising.

I am one of those persons, however, who does pull for other teams in the conference against non conference opponents because I want to believe winning whatever conference carries more weight. I also manage to actually like other teams in the conference even though I feel keen rivalry. 

The use of the word hate (you do not use it in your post) is over the top to me. The Aggies absolutely hate us and believe they are on a crusade against all that is evil. That's a pathology. I despised OU during the height of their cheating years and hated their ill-gotten success. 

I have only pulled for the Aggies a few times when they were underdogs putting up a great fight. It's one of the things I love about the sport. I haven't done so in decades now because of their absurd disposition towards us. I don't want to adopt their disposition towards anyone.

I don't feel spite towards the Big 12. I hated losing to Iowa State but loved them for their upstart toughness. You shouldn't have a team on your annual schedule that never beats you. Iowa State overdid it, but I can't hold it against them.

Okay, RomaVicta, stop rambling now. I'll never say anything about a brutal SEC schedule or how five wins in our conference is worth seven in any other. I'll never chant SEC. I'll never believe that belonging to the conference does anything for our prestige.

I do not hate any team.  I will miss playing Iowa State, Oklahoma State, Kansas State, and maybe even Texas Tech (despite their fans).

But us getting our three top rivals in conference plus games against a lot of other really good programs in the SEC is a huge win.

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45 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Adding new rules to the drinking game.  Do a shot every time you read. “gRiNd oF thE sEc ScHeDuLe.”  Drink a beer everytime someone mentions fans crying about horns down gesture. 
 

rip 

Expanded list of drinking game terms: 

SEC grind. 

Week to week. 

Week in week out.

Rude awakening. 

No weeks off. 

Top to bottom. 

Gauntlet.  

Just means more. 

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4 hours ago, nnm said:

Expanded list of drinking game terms: 

SEC grind. 

Week to week. 

Week in week out.

Rude awakening. 

No weeks off. 

Top to bottom. 

Gauntlet.  

Just means more. 

If you listen to On Texas Football and drank every time they said “At the end of the day”, you would be like Nicholas Cage at the in “Leaving Las Vegas”.

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