Ethical Non Monogamy "ENM"/Throupling/Fucking around/whatever.....

[Rimbo 25936]

1 hour ago, immamac said:

I take issue with people and the look at me movement. No one cares. You aren’t special. None of us are really that special. 

Speak for yourself.

[Bateshorn 9927]

So this basically sounds like old school French side pieces:  spouse kinda/explicitely know there’s another man/woman, choose to live with it as long as you keep it on the DL and don’t cross friend streams and don’t come home smelling like whore/dick?

Edited January 24 by Bateshorn

[safe sex 11729]

It's a goddam spectrum of relationships that involve more than two people with varying degrees of intimacy and activity, and the major connecting throughput is that all parties involved give their consent for the arrangement. 

It's not that hard holy fuck

[chainsaw 9869]

1 minute ago, safe sex said:

It's a goddam spectrum of relationships that involve more than two people with varying degrees of intimacy and activity, and the major connecting throughput is that all parties involved give their consent for the arrangement. 

It's not that hard holy fuck

The beards have spoken. All relationships that aren't monogamous are bad and doomed to fail.

[956 Worldwide 34715]

13 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

This is more or less the exact playbook used against queer people for generations. Being closeted was the rule more often than the exception. Society evolved. I don't know what the exact ratio of closeted to out people is today, but I know it's much lower.

This might be an interesting gotcha if I’d ever argued that people who want to do ENM should be banned or persecuted or otherwise stigmatized. I celebrate antibiotics. 

[Pescado_Rojo 19416]

7 minutes ago, safe sex said:

It's not that hard holy fuck

Man, if I had a nickel….

[safe sex 11729]

8 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

The beards have spoken. All relationships that aren't monogamous are bad and doomed to fail.

I'd hazard a guess that poly relationships fail at a rate similar to mono relationships

[chainsaw 9869]

4 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

if I’d ever argued that people who want to do ENM should be banned or persecuted or otherwise stigmatized.

Is that not more or less what you were doing here:

Quote

a lot of these norms go far deeper than just superstition or arbitrary squares setting their morals on you

If you aren't expressing tolerance of the social stigma against atypical relationships, you sure have a weird way of distancing yourself from those people

[Sandman 3403]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

Fair point.  But keep in mind what website you're on.  It's not that we're overly-misogynist or hypocritical.  We're just getting older and barely able to deal with ourselves, let alone our significant other.  To add another person of either gender to either member of the marriage?  I dunno dude, that sounds like a lotta work." /Stiffler  

Also, speaking of ENM, ELO has joined the chat with the plea that she don't go down on Bruce...

 

 

ELO, EDM, ENM? Useless. EPMD is the real way to go.

 

[956 Worldwide 34715]

Just now, chainsaw said:

Is that not more or less what you were doing here:

If you aren't expressing tolerance of the social stigma against atypical relationships, you sure have a weird way of distancing yourself from those people

Let me break it down for you, dipshit.

It’s well and good to suggest that you and your significant other should feel free fuck other people in an era where the bug he/she brings home can be cured with a shot, and the chance of being forced to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term (and risk dying when you do so) approaches zero (unless you’re in Texas or Florida). You’d might have a different opinion if the bug that came home meant “dick falls of while you slowly go insane and there’s nothing you can do about it.” I am glad we live in a place where the first is an option and I don’t care if people avail themselves of it. 
 

You’re a real fucking beating. 

[YGIFS 19450]

https://tenor.com/view/rafi-jerk-off-party-jerk-off-party-the-league-gif-9910289269021732148

[Aqua Buddha 14597]

1 hour ago, Bateshorn said:

So this basically sounds like old school French side pieces:  spouse kinda/explicitely know there’s another man/woman, choose to live with it as long as you keep it on the DL and don’t cross friend streams and don’t come home smelling like whore/dick?

Yeah, this doesn’t sound new and there’s an actual relationship involved with all of the people.

[KYHorn 17061]

57 minutes ago, safe sex said:

I'd hazard a guess that poly relationships fail at a rate similar to mono relationships

It differs depending on the definition that's used but the divorce rates are much higher in polyamorus couples.

Men and sexual minorities are also much more likely to engage in or desire to engage in polyamory.

Edited January 24 by KYHorn

[Foosters 17856]

this thread fucks 

[safe sex 11729]

11 minutes ago, KYHorn said:

It differs depending on the definition that's used but the divorce rates are much higher in polyamorus couples.

Men and sexual minorities are also much more likely to engage in or desire to engage in polyamory.

I'd be interested to know how many of those poly divorces ended with both legal partners remaining polyamorous after the split.

MSMs are my biggest job security lol

[troph 24804]

I have limited experience here. My ex wanted an open relationship when I transitioned before we divorced. She had a crush on a guy and she was on the slow burn train to love, she was infatuated and I caught her pursuing him. So she says she wants an open relationship, sex and romance with a guy and sex, romance, family and life partnership with me. Okay I guess. 
 

honestly I wasn’t a fan but I tried. I was frankly embarrassed by what a tool her love interest was, just a dweeb. He had terrible feet and wasn’t that good looking. He was shy, a hermit, super smart but whatever no social skills at all. So it was my turn. I found a hot lesbian, skinnier, better income, cool, easy going and DTF. We fucked. My ex asked “you’ve already found someone?” And I was like, “yeah.” She was kinda pissed that the trans woman had game. Sorry not sorry. 
 

anyway, she finally got this schmuck’s attention and they went to Houston to get his passport renewed and hoteled up. I was like fuck that, my new love interest and I went to Tulum the same weekend. She had sex in a dumpy Houston hotel. I fucked on the beach, went off shore fishing with her and walked the streets of Cozumel in the rain holding hands looking for a killer hole in the wall dinner spot. 
 

I got home, she got home, we kept doing this for a few more weeks including designated nights we didn’t have to come home. When I had my night away I bought her flowers so she had them to look at while I was fucking my girlfriend, I gave her a hug she cried it out I listened and said it would be ok.  When it was her night she just left.  We were fighting a lot, she was secretive I was not. She felt entitled, I felt like I needed to make it better for everyone. In the end I really didn’t think she had what it takes to make non monogamy work. I did not think she would put in the effort. We went to counseling and she proved my suspicions, I owed her this and she was entitled to do whatever she wanted my feelings be damned. To a degree ok I changed shit. But no respect, no consideration, just deal with it. All I wanted was assurances she would engage in the basic known requirements for a successful open relationship - she was like fuck that, you do you and I’ll do me.
 

i had a hot girlfriend now and I thought to hell with this and asked for a divorce. im now happily married to her and my ex is on boy friend number 2 I guess fuck if I know, don’t care.

 

 

Edited January 24 by troph

[safe sex 11729]

Well that seems to have started off very much as unethical non-monogamy, which I feel really hurts the chances of making ENM work in any particular relationship.

But hey, major upgrade to a hot lesbian wife imo

Edited January 24 by safe sex

[troph 24804]

2 minutes ago, safe sex said:

Well that seems to have started off very much as unethical non-monogamy, which I feel really hurts the chances of making ENM work in any particular relationship.

But hey, major upgrade to a hot lesbian wife imo

Karmas a bitch or a fun time new wife. We all get to decide. 
 

I don’t have an issue with ENM, I think my story highlights some of the bs that people fail to realize when they start. First you can’t cheat and then ask, even if your cheating is basically justified. And if you’re going to do this, it has to be better for everyone. ENM requires a higher level of communication and consideration, and you should do more for your primary as gratitude for working through a more complex sexual relationship. Anyway that was my theory, I could do it with my ex but she was not going to come close to returning the favor and was going to use and abuse my generosity so fuck that, I didn’t want to risk losing what I had found so boring traditional monogamy is where I landed with a better fit. 

[safe sex 11729]

Just now, troph said:

I don’t have an issue with ENM, I think my story highlights some of the bs that people fail to realize when they start. First you can’t cheat and then ask, even if your cheating is basically justified. And if you’re going to do this, it has to be better for everyone. ENM requires a higher level of communication and consideration, and you should do more for your primary as gratitude for working through a more complex sexual relationship.

1000000%

[troph 24804]

I’ll add, I may be lazy and not be interested in doing more so I’ll stick with one woman, plus honestly at nearly 50 I’m slowing down and strange just isn’t what I want, I want stable, boring, abiding, reliable love with sex reliably occurring and some travel to spice it up.

[chainsaw 9869]

4 minutes ago, troph said:

I’ll add, I may be lazy and not be interested in doing more so I’ll stick with one woman, plus honestly at nearly 50 I’m slowing down and strange just isn’t what I want, I want stable, boring, abiding, reliable love with sex reliably occurring and some travel to spice it up.

That's more or less how I feel. I've seen it work where I didn't think it would, and I don't think it's for me even if a younger version of me would have been comfortable with it. One thing's for sure, though, which is that the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy will be bumpy enough as-is, and if the foundation of someone's "ENM" arrangement is a previous breach of trust or a pattern of arm-twisting, it's gonna fail to launch.

[troph 24804]

3 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

That's more or less how I feel. I've seen it work where I didn't think it would, and I don't think it's for me even if a younger version of me would have been comfortable with it. One thing's for sure, though, which is that the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy will be bumpy enough as-is, and if the foundation of someone's "ENM" arrangement is a previous breach of trust or a pattern of arm-twisting, it's gonna fail to launch.

Neither of us want to divorce ever again, we both have sex as a basic requirement and we have said look, let’s just talk if we aren’t meeting each others needs let’s not blow this up like every other two woman couple and cheat and divorce. So in theory an open relationship is always on the table for us, but as long as we have sex a few times a month we are good. At this point though, it would take a lot to convince me to find someone else even if the sex slowed way down. Another relationship just sounds awful honestly. If we don’t have enough sex I’ll just go fishing more. 

[ROFL BOX 6649]

It's called polyamory or ethical non-monogamy. Some people are really good at it. Most people are pretty shit at it.

Uncertainty as to whether or not the User I.D checks out.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

Jfc I forget just how many of y'all are boring straights

☆STILL☆ not sure if the User I.D. checks out...

[ROFL BOX 6649]

It's not that I'm average.  It's that I'm NOT average.

/Shag²

Do they accept Green Stamps or Best Buy Coupons?

Ameros.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

ENM is not for everyone, but it's kind of like a social media app. The larger the number of people who adopt it, the better the experience is for everyone, even the people who aren't connected.
I don't expect it to take hold for another generation or so. The premise is rooted in common sense. It's unrealistic to expect one person to meet all of your needs. Currently the only people who are doing ENM is Gen Z but older generations are also dabbling in it with extremely limited success. The reasons why it's less successful are mostly societal. It's too "weird" to explain and that perception is usually enough to spoil things. That will improve over time though.
Other reasons it fails is because there was some kind of pressure involved which is actually just unethical nonmonogamy and most advocates would argue isn't "real" ENM. And it shouldn't be. It's not supposed to be a loophole for infidelity or being a philandering asshole. So all these anecdotes about couples "opening up the marriage" are not great counterexamples for whether ENM works.

You will be single within 2 years. Check back in with us mid Jan 26 (unless a giant meteor has fully completed it's job by then).

ou sucks

Now we're getting somewhere.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

It was invented in a financial/property sense and reinforced by religion. Government just followed the script already written.

Dowry, wife giving up her family name, until the mid-70's women not being able to get bank loans or a credit card or own real property, etc.

& FWIW, I tell both of my kids that @ it's core, marriage needs to be seen as a legal binding. Who gives a shit if any particular religion says it's through the uprights? F that noise.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

This might come as a surprise to you but there's a lot more to life than childbirth and STDs.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

ELO, EDM, ENM? Useless. EPMD is the real way to go.

Dammit, man...

[KYHorn 17061]

6 hours ago, troph said:

Karmas a bitch or a fun time new wife. We all get to decide. 
 

I don’t have an issue with ENM, I think my story highlights some of the bs that people fail to realize when they start. First you can’t cheat and then ask, even if your cheating is basically justified. And if you’re going to do this, it has to be better for everyone. ENM requires a higher level of communication and consideration, and you should do more for your primary as gratitude for working through a more complex sexual relationship. Anyway that was my theory, I could do it with my ex but she was not going to come close to returning the favor and was going to use and abuse my generosity so fuck that, I didn’t want to risk losing what I had found so boring traditional monogamy is where I landed with a better fit. 

Yeah, it requires an extremely high functioning relationship. Trust has to be through the roof and both partners need to be excellent communicators and emotionally intelligent. It's also much easier to make it work if the relationship starts as polyamorus rather than develops into it in some way.

[Bateshorn 9927]

7 hours ago, troph said:

I’ll add, I may be lazy and not be interested in doing more so I’ll stick with one woman, plus honestly at nearly 50 I’m slowing down and strange just isn’t what I want, I want stable, boring, abiding, reliable love with sex reliably occurring and some travel to spice it up.

Having just watched a family member pass away alone, I can 100% state now that I have more in the rear view mirror than in front: I prioritize true companionship with a life partner with strong health care power of attorney over wild kinky shit 10/10 times. 

[KYHorn 17061]

8 hours ago, safe sex said:

I'd be interested to know how many of those poly divorces ended with both legal partners remaining polyamorous after the split.

MSMs are my biggest job security lol

That'd be interesting but nearly impossible to get sufficient data. It's already quite difficult to get a strong and unbiased sample size for polyamorus married couples.

[troph 24804]

27 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

Having just watched a family member pass away alone, I can 100% state now that I have more in the rear view mirror than in front: I prioritize true companionship with a life partner with strong health care power of attorney over wild kinky shit 10/10 times. 

100% and as a sexual minority routinely targeted for horrific discrimination once exposed I have zero intention of being in the health care system without a loyal fierce advocate and I’m not putting that on my kids. I’m dying first or I’m dying on my terms out side the system. 

[troph 24804]

1 hour ago, KYHorn said:

Yeah, it requires an extremely high functioning relationship. Trust has to be through the roof and both partners need to be excellent communicators and emotionally intelligent. It's also much easier to make it work if the relationship starts as polyamorus rather than develops into it in some way.

I took inventory and determined it was impossible under the circumstances I was in. Of course I was then blamed for my selfishness. Entitlement, projection, gas lighting, and inability to be wrong are hallmark traits of a human wholly and completely unable to manage an open relationship. for that reason, I’m out.

[Kennythetiger 9384]

8 hours ago, troph said:

I have limited experience here. My ex wanted an open relationship when I transitioned before we divorced. She had a crush on a guy and she was on the slow burn train to love, she was infatuated and I caught her pursuing him. So she says she wants an open relationship, sex and romance with a guy and sex, romance, family and life partnership with me. Okay I guess. 
 

honestly I wasn’t a fan but I tried. I was frankly embarrassed by what a tool her love interest was, just a dweeb. He had terrible feet and wasn’t that good looking. He was shy, a hermit, super smart but whatever no social skills at all. So it was my turn. I found a hot lesbian, skinnier, better income, cool, easy going and DTF. We fucked. My ex asked “you’ve already found someone?” And I was like, “yeah.” She was kinda pissed that the trans woman had game. Sorry not sorry. 
 

anyway, she finally got this schmuck’s attention and they went to Houston to get his passport renewed and hoteled up. I was like fuck that, my new love interest and I went to Tulum the same weekend. She had sex in a dumpy Houston hotel. I fucked on the beach, went off shore fishing with her and walked the streets of Cozumel in the rain holding hands looking for a killer hole in the wall dinner spot. 
 

I got home, she got home, we kept doing this for a few more weeks including designated nights we didn’t have to come home. When I had my night away I bought her flowers so she had them to look at while I was fucking my girlfriend, I gave her a hug she cried it out I listened and said it would be ok.  When it was her night she just left.  We were fighting a lot, she was secretive I was not. She felt entitled, I felt like I needed to make it better for everyone. In the end I really didn’t think she had what it takes to make non monogamy work. I did not think she would put in the effort. We went to counseling and she proved my suspicions, I owed her this and she was entitled to do whatever she wanted my feelings be damned. To a degree ok I changed shit. But no respect, no consideration, just deal with it. All I wanted was assurances she would engage in the basic known requirements for a successful open relationship - she was like fuck that, you do you and I’ll do me.
 

i had a hot girlfriend now and I thought to hell with this and asked for a divorce. im now happily married to her and my ex is on boy friend number 2 I guess fuck if I know, don’t care.

 

 

Fuck. 
Slowly looks down and checks feet….  

[Aqua Buddha 14597]

45 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

Having just watched a family member pass away alone, I can 100% state now that I have more in the rear view mirror than in front: I prioritize true companionship with a life partner with strong health care power of attorney over wild kinky shit 10/10 times. 

I'm actually OK with the kinky shit being off book if all agree.  If there's an itch the other person doesn't want to scratch, that's fine.  This "ENM" thing seems to bring all of the ups, downs, and challenges of any relationship.

I've had multi year, long term "relationships" with pros.  Sure, our "relationship" is based on sex, money, and orgasms, but at the end, that's it.  No baggage.

[troph 24804]

22 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Fuck. 
Slowly looks down and checks feet….  

I'm not into guys that much, I tried it once it was fun, but I know how to judge the quality of a man, don't ask me how. feet is an easy tell. easily forgotten but often on display to see, a man who takes care of his feet is thoughtful, considerate, refined, probably likes nice things, has time for things that matter but are easily postponed or delayed. If I'm important, I don't want to be put in the not urgent box all the time. if he takes care of his feet, he'll take care of his woman.

[BurntEyes 5993]

33 minutes ago, troph said:

I took inventory and determined it was impossible under the circumstances I was in. Of course I was then blamed for my selfishness. Entitlement, projection, gas lighting, and inability to be wrong are hallmark traits of a human wholly and completely unable to manage an open relationship. for that reason, I’m out.

Well, I don't know this for sure, referring back to my friend who's wife was cheating and wanted ENM..

He's an athletic, successful fellow that catches eyes when we go out. He could definitely have pulled more attractive women than his wife, despite being a tad shy or "mysterious". 

I'm 100% confident had He agreed to ENM and then started snagging around her reaction would have been right in line with your exes. She was a controlling high maintenance woman. She claimed she wanted ENM. What she really wanted was a monogamous husband and the ability to grab strange on the reg. Shit, we all met out one night and she was flirting with me... and I'm no 10 on anyone's scale. No Surly, I didn't fuck my good friends slutty wife. 

[irishtexan 11519]

[troph 24804]

39 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

I'm actually OK with the kinky shit being off book if all agree.  If there's an itch the other person doesn't want to scratch, that's fine.  This "ENM" thing seems to bring all of the ups, downs, and challenges of any relationship.

I've had multi year, long term "relationships" with pros.  Sure, our "relationship" is based on sex, money, and orgasms, but at the end, that's it.  No baggage.

I've slapped my woman's ass in the kitchen and have suggested she do the same to me. it's like a little caramel syrup on your vanilla ice cream, I'm certainly not in to leather and chains and shit. my wife joked if you need that, you can go get it. I'm like nah, I'm good, just slap my ass in the kitchen every now and again on the way to the bedroom and we're good. she's not really gotten the message that being objectified in a positive relationship is great and an ass slap in the kitchen is an awesome signal of objectification and possession, but she occasionally does it, and it's like instant turn on.  the point though, is we both would allow extra outside that if it's necessary and there would be no jealousy. I can get a little flirty with men, and she's seen men respond to me in ways they don't fully understand and she's given me that hall pass too. I've said, yeah no I'm good, and I am good. I enjoy the positive banter with dudes but that's about it. on the flip side, her only hall pass is if we stop having regular sex, I guess that's mine too but like I said I'll probably just go fishing.

All of that to say, I think getting what you need elsewhere with permission where the other is uninterested is actually more likely to work than ENM.  I think ENM is extremely, extremely difficult.

Edited January 24 by troph

[YGIFS 19450]

10 minutes ago, troph said:

I'm not into guys that much, I tried it once it was fun, but I know how to judge the quality of a man, don't ask me how. feet is an easy tell. easily forgotten but often on display to see, a man who takes care of his feet is thoughtful, considerate, refined, probably likes nice things, has time for things that matter but are easily postponed or delayed. If I'm important, I don't want to be put in the not urgent box all the time. if he takes care of his feet, he'll take care of his woman.

First of all, "Urgent Box" is my new alt.folk band name.  Second and for the record you stereotyping meanie!  Some of us happen to take immaculate care of ourselves and our women, but were just born with hideous feet.  My hands are massive, but delicately elegant.  Well tapered and stronger than ever.  I get a lot of compliments.  But my feet look like a Hobbit took HGH and then slogged around in mud for a fortnight.  Some of my toenails will fall off if I put my socks on wrong.  But my big toenail literally sliced through a commercial screen door once.  Don't get me started on the hair.  There are literally dozens of Troph, DOZENS!  

Edited January 24 by YGIFS

[troph 24804]

9 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Well, I don't know this for sure, referring back to my friend who's wife was cheating and wanted ENM..

He's an athletic, successful fellow that catches eyes when we go out. He could definitely have pulled more attractive women than his wife, despite being a tad shy or "mysterious". 

I'm 100% confident had He agreed to ENM and then started snagging around her reaction would have been right in line with your exes. She was a controlling high maintenance woman. She claimed she wanted ENM. What she really wanted was a monogamous husband and the ability to grab strange on the reg. Shit, we all met out one night and she was flirting with me... and I'm no 10 on anyone's scale. No Surly, I didn't fuck my good friends slutty wife. 

that's what my ex wanted, in fact once she said two things to me only days apart - first, "you get to be you, now I get to be me." and second, she said, "look this is perfect, you make the money, you're my best friend, I trust you with our kids, and now I can pursue a relationship with someone else without worrying about those other things."  She had NO IDEA that she would suck at it and I'd knock it out of the park. she forgot in a competition, I don't lose. She made me feel like shit and I had something to prove, that I was a bonafide catch.  I even told her this was going to end poorly for her. She wouldn't listen. Look, I get it, I changed the deal. and for that I was 100% open to ENM done right but I was NOT going to be emotionally tortured by it.

I'll never forget when I hooked up with my gf at the time, she said "I'm so glad you found her. she's so cool and not a freaky weirdo." or something like that. besides not knowing what a freaky wierdo meant (I'm pretty sure she meant a visibly queer/trans/non-traditional lesbian), I thought, what the fuck did you think I'd snag, and woman with shitty feet?

 

[troph 24804]

5 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

First of all, "Urgent Box" is my new alt.folk band name.  Second and for the record you stereotyping meanie!  Some of us happen to take immaculate care of ourselves and our women, but were just born with hideous feet.  My hands are massive, but delicately elegant.  Well tapered and stronger than ever.  I get a lot of compliments.  But my feet look like a Hobbit took HGH and then slogged around in mud for a fortnight.  Some of my toenails will fall off if I put my socks on wrong.  But my big toenail literally sliced through a commercial screen door once.  Don't get me started on the hair.  There are literally dozens of Troph, DOZENS!  

well manicured hands can over come feet. a smart woman knows hereditary issues versus neglect.

[troph 24804]

we have a lesbian couple friend, middle aged women, but real life attractive. I guess not much different than me and my wife. not overly feminine, a bit tomboyish but can put clean up real nice, put on make up and walk in a room and turn some heads, especially the lesbians in the room. anyway, they have two kids, one special needs, life is hard. covid moved them to Miami for outdoors, and it got a little stir crazy and stressful with special needs and heck it's Miami, so they opened their relationship.

I explained I had some experience and I think ENM is really, really hard. My wife and I said, like Aqua if it's a need that one won't give that's ok but actual romantic relationships? thread that needle if you can, but expect one of the two in the couple to have their heart redirect to another person. the one I actually like the most looked at me and said "we've been doing this for a while now, I think we know what we are doing." Well, less than 6 months later, her love interest wanted more, she couldn't give it (divorce wasn't imminent), so they broke up. The other wife was in a relationship that was stable ... for now (her love interest was actually cheating unbeknownst to the unknowing wife). Lots of work travel, non-working wife that's cheating, working wife that's unknowing is a busy uh, lawyer. Easy to hide, so stable, for now. Well now the couple is uneven. One in a "stable" outside relationship. The other heartbroken. Shit gets nasty, divorce starts about 6-12 months later.  They are still in proceedings a year later.

ENM is HARD.

[Armybrat 40847]

12 hours ago, Steel Shank said:

'Sup, fellas?

Y'all talking about laying some pipe? With some strange?

What, pray tell, gives you that idea?

 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, troph said:

I’ll add, I may be lazy and not be interested in doing more so I’ll stick with one woman, plus honestly at nearly 50 I’m slowing down and strange just isn’t what I want, I want stable, boring, abiding, reliable love with sex reliably occurring and some travel to spice it up.

This.

i even use a saying in our home, "Boring is good."  not that it applies to the bedroom, but it does apply to drama/ conflict/ and generally disruptive shit.

And if my statement about my own marriage upthread was taken as a condemnation of ENM, I apologize.  It was a recognition that it wouldn't work for me and my partner.  It would fundamentally change our given commitment to each other that has served us very, very well.

In today's social climate, if you find love, genuine true love; then more power to you, as long as it is legal and consensual.  It still doesn't mean it's appealing to everyone, just as traditional monogamy is evidently  not.

[YGIFS 19450]

You had me until "legal".  Obviously not with minors or non-consenting.  But you do realize half the shit some of us do in the bedroom with our partner was not legal just within our lifetimes?  Most sexual laws are needed to protect the vulnerable.  But sodomy and oral sex and non-married sex or mixed-race sex and toys and porn 'n shit were illegal just within the last few decades.  Last I checked, it was Baptist and Catholic preachers throat-fucking kids, I just do it to my wife.     

[Kel Varnsen 8460]

36 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

My hands are massive, but delicately elegant.  Well tapered and stronger than ever.  I get a lot of compliments.

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

You had me until "legal".  Obviously not with minors or non-consenting.  But you do realize half the shit some of us do in the bedroom with our partner was not legal just within our lifetimes?  Most sexual laws are needed to protect the vulnerable.  But sodomy and oral sex and non-married sex or mixed-race sex and toys and porn 'n shit were illegal just within the last few decades.  Last I checked, it was Baptist and Catholic preachers throat-fucking kids, I just do it to my wife.     

Yeah, that caveat for my post was limited to age/ ability to give consent.  and I guess not fucking goats.

[YGIFS 19450]

Look.  I'm not here to goat-shame, Billy Slorch