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luke duke

By luke duke
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Spoosner

Spoosner 86

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New to the game. Put in a Bio Bidet Bliss 2000 in the master of our new house pretty much based on this thread. It's cool, but how is there still something to wipe after I've been blasted for 2-3 minutes? Am I doing this wrong? Is that just to be expected?

Also, am I right that there is basically an enema setting? I haven't tried that.

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luke duke
luke duke

I guess this model is to be avoided.

Not a cat
Not a cat

Johnny Appleseed for the win! I'm staying at a bed and breakfast place in Costa Rica where, apparently, it is customary to not flush your paper due to septic concerns but instead put the shit sta

Felix
Felix

I used to warn visitors about the bidet, but it turns out it's funnier if you just let them come out of the bathroom with a big wet spot on their shirt and a sheepish look on their face.

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nnm

nnm 36986

Posted
Posted (edited)
29 minutes ago, Spoosner said:

New to the game. Put in a Bio Bidet Bliss 2000 in the master of our new house pretty much based on this thread. It's cool, but how is there still something to wipe after I've been blasted for 2-3 minutes? Am I doing this wrong? Is that just to be expected?

Also, am I right that there is basically an enema setting? I haven't tried that.

You have to make sure the jet gets full coverage of areas that may have been tainted (so to speak). That means adjusting your seating position during the spray-down. 

Edited by nnm
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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21123

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Few things are as disappointing and enraging as turning the dial to blast asshole and discovering that your family member has disconnected and bypassed but not removed the bidet. 

If I had known that it wasn't hooked up, I would have just gone into Poop Camel mode and shit like a civilized person at my own house in a few hours. 

And if I had known that the bidet I installed for them had developed a leak, I would have bought a new one and installed it for them yesterday at the start of my visit, but instead they're going to have to wait until my next visit in a few months. 

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nnm

nnm 36986

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20 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I use asswipes in hotels but not at friends' and family's places. They can cause plumbing problems. 

The wipes cause plumbing problems everywhere. Never use them unless you’re putting them in the trash and not the toilet. @Scheiss Meister can confirm. 
https://www.scottenglishplumbing.net/blog/4-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-flush-wet-wipes-down-the-toilet

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Dutchrudder

Dutchrudder 11160

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Posted
On 11/13/2022 at 10:12 AM, luke duke said:

I guess this model is to be avoided.
2c83dd67e26745c7e37458bb52244178.jpg

Can confirm, I have one of these and it's an acquired skill to get it just right between the 2nd and 3rd dots. 4th dot is basically a liquid enema, the 5th might make water shoot out your nose, but I haven't tested it.

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nnm

nnm 36986

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3 hours ago, Dutchrudder said:

Can confirm, I have one of these and it's an acquired skill to get it just right between the 2nd and 3rd dots. 4th dot is basically a liquid enema, the 5th might make water shoot out your nose, but I haven't tested it.

I have this in secondary bathrooms in my house. BioBidet 2000 in my master bath. The Neo is just fine. The dots are meaningless. You just move it up and down until the job is done. 

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10088

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The wipes cause plumbing problems everywhere. Never use them unless you’re putting them in the trash and not the toilet. [mention=2796]Scheiss Meister[/mention] can confirm. 
https://www.scottenglishplumbing.net/blog/4-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-flush-wet-wipes-down-the-toilet
Even the ones that are 'flushable' should be thrown away.
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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21123

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9 hours ago, Brothahorn said:
18 hours ago, nnm said:
The wipes cause plumbing problems everywhere. Never use them unless you’re putting them in the trash and not the toilet. [mention=2796]Scheiss Meister[/mention] can confirm. 
https://www.scottenglishplumbing.net/blog/4-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-flush-wet-wipes-down-the-toilet

Even the ones that are 'flushable' should be thrown away.

Almost all claim to be "flushable" but then again, so is a golf ball. 

I only use (and flush down hotel toilets...) the ones that say both "flushable" and "biodegradable."

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2840

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Repost from a few pages back. Get one of these. It does not do the job end to end if it's a messy one, but it is a great finisher and will leave you spic and span. A few blots with some tp, then sit down, scoot all the way forward, slip the wand behind you and press. I have 2 of them in case I want a refill and don't want to waddle to the sink but a glass of water works just as well. I have the non battery one, as well but I prefer this. It's a more compact, consistent stream to make sure you can target the proper areas. 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0881LFY6G?tag=travelandleisure-onsite-prod-20&linkCode=ogi&th=1&psc=1&ascsubtag=5432062|n9f77c5df3da8467cb1d4bacf9076cd6419|B0881LFY6G|1676487636062|

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rage-a-holic

rage-a-holic 4550

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Posted
1 hour ago, Baboontyme said:

Repost from a few pages back. Get one of these. It does not do the job end to end if it's a messy one, but it is a great finisher and will leave you spic and span. A few blots with some tp, then sit down, scoot all the way forward, slip the wand behind you and press. I have 2 of them in case I want a refill and don't want to waddle to the sink but a glass of water works just as well. I have the non battery one, as well but I prefer this. It's a more compact, consistent stream to make sure you can target the proper areas. 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0881LFY6G?tag=travelandleisure-onsite-prod-20&linkCode=ogi&th=1&psc=1&ascsubtag=5432062|n9f77c5df3da8467cb1d4bacf9076cd6419|B0881LFY6G|1676487636062|

The problem is you need a man purse to carry it into rest stops/restaurant bathrooms, otherwise it looks like you're sneaking in to pleasure yourself with a giant sex toy.

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rage-a-holic

rage-a-holic 4550

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1 hour ago, Baboontyme said:

What kind of a savage shits at a rest stop or a restaurant. I'm talking about hotel rooms, staying at a friends, on vacation, etc.

People who make long drives to their travel destinations, i.e. on vacation? If I've been driving for 5 hours and feel the need to shit, I'm not holding it 5 more hours till I get to the hotel.

More power to you and your principals if you routinely hold shits in for hours to avoid rest stops, I'm sure that's a fun drive.

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2840

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2 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:

People who make long drives to their travel destinations, i.e. on vacation? If I've been driving for 5 hours and feel the need to shit, I'm not holding it 5 more hours till I get to the hotel.

More power to you and your principals if you routinely hold shits in for hours to avoid rest stops, I'm sure that's a fun drive.

I get it man. I was mostly kidding. Honestly my lifestyle is such right now that I couldn't imagine having to do that, and it's not a humblebrag. If I'm on a road trip I'm very careful about eating to avoid having to shit in an unknown place. Perhaps this needs to be a new thread..

The most anxiety ridden shits I've had in the past few years.

Circa 2017 at the airport in Toronto after a quick business trip. Tried to time it for the hotel before checkout but was unsuccessful. It was horrifying. I was in there probably 45 minutes and I was with coworkers. No wipes or pocket dildo on hand or available.

Magic Kingdom at the restroom/locker station cut through in between Adventureland and Fronteirland. It was August. We went back to the condo for lunch and I made myself a HUGE salad without realizing it was full of Kale and spinach. My god I bet the temperature on the skin of my forehead during that shit and subsequent wipe was hotter than the surface of the sun. Wife was like where were you?? I think I mumbled something about space mountain while avoiding eye contact. 

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luke duke

luke duke 6420

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My best friend's older brother is a pretty big guy (6'4", ~400lbs) and can't really fit in an airplane restroom. He likes to brag about the time he was late to a flight from London to DFW, had to shit as he was rushing through the terminal and was able to hold it until he landed and got off of the plane.

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21123

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 2/18/2023 at 11:04 PM, luke duke said:

My best friend's older brother is a pretty big guy (6'4", ~400lbs) and can't really fit in an airplane restroom. He likes to brag about the time he was late to a flight from London to DFW, had to shit as he was rushing through the terminal and was able to hold it until he landed and got off of the plane.

Perhaps he sought to remain undetected by predators? 

Saw this nugget at the Brookfield Zoo yesterday. 

20230220_124804.thumb.jpg.1a638a5705196bbd260e80d3fa5688a0.jpg

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2840

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Lost power last night during a wet/heavy snowfall. I had to shit with a flashlight and my travel bidets this morning. Twice. They work, but they are a poor substitute for the BB 2000. 

Have we made the joke in this thread yet about an asshole training regimen before travel? I know we have discussed how sensitive the starfish gets to actual wiping after prolonged bidet usage. I'm thinking there's room for a Tom Emanski style training program/video where we do some sandpaper drills, etc to toughen the little guy up before vacation. Would anyone like to invest?

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Grade of D as in David

Grade of D as in David 13253

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1 hour ago, Baboontyme said:

Lost power last night during a wet/heavy snowfall. I had to shit with a flashlight and my travel bidets this morning. Twice. They work, but they are a poor substitute for the BB 2000. 

Have we made the joke in this thread yet about an asshole training regimen before travel? I know we have discussed how sensitive the starfish gets to actual wiping after prolonged bidet usage. I'm thinking there's room for a Tom Emanski style training program/video where we do some sandpaper drills, etc to toughen the little guy up before vacation. Would anyone like to invest?

I don't want Fred " The Crime Dog" McGriff firing baseballs at my butthole.

 

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fluff

fluff 87

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You know what is awesome...On my bio bidet it pretty much has an enema setting....when you walk around for an hour or so and just feel like you have a little turd left in there and it just won't come out when you sit down....turn to the enema setting, and it just flushes it right out.  Such a great feeling.

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3566

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Seconded. Tried Brondell, tried Biobidet, nothing matches the Toto Washlets for refinement and control. Brondell just felt cheap and less developed/engineered. Biobidet was annoying in that the seat occupancy sensor was really finicky, move my ass one way and it'd think I wasn't on the seat any more and shut off the spray. Their customer service by all reports is quite good, I just didn't care enough to try calling. Swapped it for a Washlet.

 

I prefer the Washlet models with the fixed side controls though, I hate having to worry about a remote and batteries for something that really has zero benefit from being remote:

https://www.amazon.com/TOTO-SW3074-01-Electronic-Elongated/dp/B08S4646QQ/?th=1

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2840

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My latest shitbrick installment. I have posted before about how the battery powered portable bidets work for me for travel. Not as good as the real deal but enough in combo with tp or wipes to alleviate a good deal of my travel shitting anxiety. That was all well and good for my vacation travels. I have not had to travel for work since Covid until this week.

The logistics of having to leave your hotel room at 7 AM, be onsite with a client for 8+ hours, then spend 5+ hours in an airport/plane are not copacetic to my ideal pooping conditions with my travel bidet. I'm not regular enough to be able to completely empty my bladder on command before I pack up for a long day. This might be an every day struggle for some less fortunate but I have been working from home since 2009 and I have no desire or intention of ever going back to an office every day.

Anyway I did what I could in the morning and felt it building through various gastro waves during the client onsite. The bathroom was adjacent to the conference room in an art/deco type of studio office with exposed ceilings, and I was basically the main presenter for the day, so that was not happening. We were slated to wrap up at 4:30 as my coworker had a 6:30 flight. My flight wasn't until 8:30. I figured I could go to the AmEx lounge in the airport and chill for a few hours, find a decent shitter, maybe even bring a bottled water into the stall with me and use my travel bidet.

No luck. I did not realize I had to be flying Delta to get into the Centurion lounge. I was now resigned to holding it until I got home at midnight, so long as I could find a decent place to chill for 3 hours. I couldn't. CLT is insane. Not a quiet corner or a seat in the entire place. I finally found a seat at a high top in the food court and I started to re evaluate my life's choices. I am going to sit here for 3 hours? No, fuck that.

I found the nearest, nicest hotel. I ordered a Premium Lyft. I had them drop me at the conference wing of the hotel. I found a giant, pristine, handicapped bathroom stall with a floor to ceiling door in an empty bathroom. I filled up my pocket bidet and brought it in with me. I saw Blue and he looked glorious. Fantastic experience. I even got to change into my jeans and take an edible. I spent the next 2 hours sitting in a comfortable chair in the lobby charging my phone. Best $50 I've ever spent. If you ever need to poop in Charlotte I highly recommend the Airport Sheraton. Next time I travel for work I just won't eat I guess. 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21123

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Posted (edited)

Had to replace the fill valve in the Shittorium and accidentally busted the T-adapter on my Joy Bidet in the process. 

Couldn't find an exact replacement any longer, so I settled for the LUXE bidet NEO 120. It's adequate, but lacks the rheostat-like adjustable pressure control - pretty much a binary system. 

Decided to mount the Joy Bidet in a place of prominence in the back garage to memorialize its good service, and also as a bit of a poop trophy for myself. 

 

20231003_090301.jpg

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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uoftorange

uoftorange 1388

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Posted (edited)

I searched the thread and couldn't find it, so apologies if this has been asked before

I have the Bio Bidet Bliss BB2000.  The remote has to come off the wall to work with it pointed at the receiver.  Anyone else have this issue?  It's mounted about 2 feet above  and 1.5 feet forward of the sensor.

Been talking back and forth with Bio Bidet.  They keep hemming and hawing saying that it's not necessarily meant to work on the wall.  That seems like a bunch of BS and a terrible design for something so pricey.  I can't just use it in my hand either, has to be pointed at the sensor to work.  

So after troubleshooting they told me I needed to send it in (I bought in mid July and installed Sept 8), and pay to ship it to them.  Seems kind of F'd up.  So I finally got them to pay for the shipping but I'm without a bidet for 2 weeks after I ship it.  They did send me a new regular seat though.  Seems super odd not to just send me a replacement and ship this back to them. 

And now I have to find a box because I stupidly didn't keep this one.

So, my question is:  Does anyone else with this model have to take the remote off the wall for it to work?

Edited by uoftorange
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nnm

nnm 36986

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10 hours ago, uoftorange said:

I searched the thread and couldn't find it, so apologies if this has been asked before

I have the Bio Bidet Bliss BB2000.  The remote has to come off the wall to work with it pointed at the receiver.  Anyone else have this issue?  It's mounted about 2 feet above  and 1.5 feet forward of the sensor.

Been talking back and forth with Bio Bidet.  They keep hemming and hawing saying that it's not necessarily meant to work on the wall.  That seems like a bunch of BS and a terrible design for something so pricey.  I can't just use it in my hand either, has to be pointed at the sensor to work.  

So after troubleshooting they told me I needed to send it in (I bought in mid July and installed Sept 8), and pay to ship it to them.  Seems kind of F'd up.  So I finally got them to pay for the shipping but I'm without a bidet for 2 weeks after I ship it.  They did send me a new regular seat though.  Seems super odd not to just send me a replacement and ship this back to them. 

And now I have to find a box because I stupidly didn't keep this one.

So, my question is:  Does anyone else with this model have to take the remote off the wall for it to work?

I have this model and I’ve never put the remote on the wall. I just keep it loose on the back of the toilet. It works fine without pointing it at the receiver. 

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Zone Read

Zone Read 299

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Just sold my house of 30 years yesterday.  At the last second the buyers tell my agent that they assumed my Biobidet 2000 was going to stay.  I thought that rather odd, it's a pretty personal item and I'd probably rather get a new one if I was buying the house.  But, I guess it's kind of like a fixture so I figured I'd let them have it without making a big deal of it.  Do I replace the BB 2000 with the same model or do I spend a bit more and get something next level?  Is there even a next level up from the 2000?  Seems like it has a shit-ton (no pun intended) of features, can't imagine what a more expensive one would have to make it better.

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