Jump to content

Bidet Meta Threas

luke duke

By luke duke
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 618
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

luke duke
luke duke

I guess this model is to be avoided.

Not a cat
Not a cat

Johnny Appleseed for the win! I'm staying at a bed and breakfast place in Costa Rica where, apparently, it is customary to not flush your paper due to septic concerns but instead put the shit sta

Felix
Felix

I used to warn visitors about the bidet, but it turns out it's funnier if you just let them come out of the bathroom with a big wet spot on their shirt and a sheepish look on their face.

Posted Images

Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted
On 12/29/2018 at 3:09 PM, hornbri said:

Ended up with a BB-2000, spent yesterday running a electric outlet from the breaker box in the attic on one side of the house to the bathroom that is on the other side of the house. Installing the BB today. Hope it is worth it as you all say. 

That's a high quality piece of engineering you bought there.  Bravo my friend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BearCountry11

BearCountry11 1234

Posted
Posted

Just now stumbling across this thread.  Been wanting one of these for years.  My wife refuses to let me get one though.  Bought some squatty pottys that she hated so anything that has to do with the toilet she is very much against.  May just need to buy and install one then let her try it out...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8958

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

Just now stumbling across this thread.  Been wanting one of these for years.  My wife refuses to let me get one though.  Bought some squatty pottys that she hated so anything that has to do with the toilet she is very much against.  May just need to buy and install one then let her try it out...

I was reading this thread New Years Eve and bought one.  Haven't installed it or mentioned to the wife.  It's getting installed tomorrow - she'll likely notice it tomorrow afternoon sometime.

Edited by Jerry Callo
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

Just now stumbling across this thread.  Been wanting one of these for years.  My wife refuses to let me get one though.  Bought some squatty pottys that she hated so anything that has to do with the toilet she is very much against.  May just need to buy and install one then let her try it out...

She just doesn't want a clean ass because then you'll ask to fuck it.  Get it, install it.  Takes no more than 30 minutes, 10 with the right tools.  She'll eventually try it.  The only wildcard is your water pressure.  I had one apartment that I could barely turn it on without shredding my asshole.  I had another apartment where I had to go full blast.  Was great in both situations.  Going to upgrade to one with a dryer here soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
drifter379

drifter379 1117

Posted
Posted

Forgot to post the link to the one I got. https://www.google.com/shopping/product/12440435745770698506?q=lowes+bidet&client=safari&sa=X&hl=en-us&biw=375&bih=559&tbs=vw:l,ss:44&prmd=sinv&prds=epd:1003283556886777617,paur:ClkAsKraX6dTQrcJkwWjJWeGCDT6I9dlEvVRCa-hc9E_qUC53IYwD77RU4yhIhkvjOKUMGb9X5OuGoiEXzJG4aKiBfgDPgxLrlDNZaWZLDaBYQMpjlQXZ8CbPBIZAFPVH70tmyIcBbwe_GZKt3Xyz9s-R7wJ7A,cdl:1,prmr:1,cs:1&ved=0ahUKEwjy6LHxydXfAhWli60KHXeuC9wQgTYIgQU

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AM Wood

AM Wood 335

Posted
Posted

i swore to myself to post a public service announcement in here when this thread popped back up.

proper bidet technique eluded me when i first started bathing my blowhole. i don't know if it was homophobia or fear of blowing something out inside me, but i always clenched my o-ring when i was power washing it. it wasn't until i read something on the other site that the light came on for me. you need to unclench that balloon knot, boys. let the water "come in" a little so it can blast any turtle head lying just behind the ring of fire. just relax that kegel and clean maybe another 1/8" inside the caca cave.

trust me, the paper will always come back clean. 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Not a cat

Not a cat 5805

Posted
Posted

It's just mind bottling how resistant most people are to bidets. 

Since seeing the light almost exactly 2 years ago (due to this thread, or more precisely, its shaggy predecessor), I tried to become the Johnny Appleseed of bidets and spread the word.  I mean, these things should sell themselves over conventional paper- more hygienic, quicker, cheaper, no roids.  What's not to love? 

As I tell these poor, ignorant folks, if you got some shit on your hand would you just wipe it off with a paper towel or would you wash that sumbitch in the sink?  Yet, people just balk at it and are unwilling to consider it.  I've just given up even trying.  

    

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
AM Wood

AM Wood 335

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Not a cat said:

It's just mind bottling how resistant most people are to bidets. 

Since seeing the light almost exactly 2 years ago (due to this thread, or more precisely, its shaggy predecessor), I tried to become the Johnny Appleseed of bidets and spread the word.  I mean, these things should sell themselves over conventional paper- more hygienic, quicker, cheaper, no roids.  What's not to love? 

As I tell these poor, ignorant folks, if you got some shit on your hand would you just wipe it off with a paper towel or would you wash that sumbitch in the sink?  Yet, people just balk at it and are unwilling to consider it.  I've just given up even trying.  

    

this is a phenomenon that i fail to understand. I've tried selling the concept to friends and family. only my brother bit. not from being told, but by experiencing one first hand in a european hotel room. 

"i've been telling you for 3 faulking years!"

one of my friends, a doctor of all people, laughs and he thinks (my older models) it looks like something from an old folks home. i just tell him he's afraid that getting that squirt up there will tip him over the edge in deciding he likes big caulks up there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
luke duke

luke duke 6449

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm ready for bidets to start making an appearance in workplace bathrooms. I mean, for the love of God, who shits at home during the work week? And my hairy ass needs that spray.
Preach the good word, [mention=157]Not a cat[/mention].


This would be nice. About once a month I go home to take a shit. 25 minute round trip.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted (edited)

The resistance really is crazy.  It is like I have to walk around with a star patch on my arm to let everyone know I have a cleaner ass then them.  I'm an outcast in my family but I also have the freshest browneye.  My brother straight up thinks its gay as shit (his words not mine so I don't want to hear about it).  I meant to buy some astors for everyone in my family this year over Xmas but forgot.  Next year is the year.  

And regarding the clinching of the asshole, I go one further and actually push out my knot to make sure I get in all the creases.  I don't sit on the shitter long enough to do damage to my butthole so a little extra push isn't anything for me to worry about.  Agree on the cottenelle soft as shit tp for drying.  I typically use about 4 sheets folded over each other to dry but could do with 2-3 sheets.  It is expensive for tp but a 12 pack will last a single male taking 2 shits a day (at home) about 4-5 months.  Small price to pay for luxury.

**Edit: A cottenelle "Mega roll" has 380 sheets and is $22 for a 24 pack.  Using 4 sheets per shit to dry and shitting 3 times a day you will have enough TP to last 760 days.  That's 2,280 shits on $22.  Less than a penny per shit.  Not only is a bidet the best solution from a hygiene standpoint, it is also extremely economical.  I look back on my days as a child and using the "super wad" technique and can't imagine how pissed my parents must have been with the bathroom supplies bill.

Edited by Jhawk
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

my wife was resistant because she thought the sprayer would end up with shit sprinkles on it and she'd be the one having to clean it.  hasn't been a problem and she's happy with it.

When I was engaged my fiancee thought it would spray shit into her pussy.  Didn't happen but she didn't like the cold water.  For me, there isn't a thing I like more than cooling down my Thai food spicy asshole than ice cold water.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cabowabo

cabowabo 4650

Posted
Posted
When I was engaged my fiancee thought it would spray shit into her pussy.  Didn't happen but she didn't like the cold water.  For me, there isn't a thing I like more than cooling down my Thai food spicy asshole than ice cold water.
Yeah, the whole cold/hot water deal is a non issue. My butthole is usually pretty warm and moist, so nothing feels better that a shot of cold water to freshen things up a bit down there.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
irishtexan

irishtexan 11705

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Jhawk said:

 

And regarding the clinching of the asshole, I go one further and actually push out my knot to make sure I get in all the creases.  I don't sit on the shitter long enough to do damage to my butthole so a little extra push isn't anything for me to worry about.  

 

You really need to properly calibrate the water pressure when you push out a bit. This is VERY important. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Limp Brisket

Limp Brisket 549

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Rimbo said:

I'm ready for bidets to start making an appearance in workplace bathrooms. I mean, for the love of God, who shits at home during the work week? And my hairy ass needs that spray.

Preach the good word, @Not a cat.

Exactly.  Anyone found a bidet for a commercial workplace toilet?  This needs to happen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Limp Brisket

Limp Brisket 549

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Not a cat said:

It's just mind bottling how resistant most people are to bidets. 

Since seeing the light almost exactly 2 years ago (due to this thread, or more precisely, its shaggy predecessor), I tried to become the Johnny Appleseed of bidets and spread the word.  I mean, these things should sell themselves over conventional paper- more hygienic, quicker, cheaper, no roids.  What's not to love? 

As I tell these poor, ignorant folks, if you got some shit on your hand would you just wipe it off with a paper towel or would you wash that sumbitch in the sink?  Yet, people just balk at it and are unwilling to consider it.  I've just given up even trying.  

    

So. Much. This.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted
25 minutes ago, Limp Brisket said:

Exactly.  Anyone found a bidet for a commercial workplace toilet?  This needs to happen.

I’m about to move to Tulsa and I’m thinking about having one put in my office. We have common area bathrooms so that’s a no go.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rimbo

Rimbo 26914

Posted
Posted

 

1 hour ago, cabowabo said:
4 hours ago, Jhawk said:
When I was engaged my fiancee thought it would spray shit into her pussy.  Didn't happen but she didn't like the cold water.  For me, there isn't a thing I like more than cooling down my Thai food spicy asshole than ice cold water.

Yeah, the whole cold/hot water deal is a non issue. My butthole is usually pretty warm and moist, so nothing feels better that a shot of cold water to freshen things up a bit down there.

You get the seat that heats the water. You can set how hot you want it, or turn the heat off. Win-win.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21285

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Deej said:

 

Been in a hotel for 3 days. Don't even want to shit until I get home.

Bidets in your home will make work travel suck even more. 

As far as being Poopy Appleseed, I've bought and installed 5 bidets (sometimes with permission sometimes not) in the bathrooms that I use when visiting family members.

Every household has become a convert and installed them in the rest of their bathrooms. 

Joy Bidet should be paying me a commission. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
William_Cannon

William_Cannon 86

Posted
Posted

Seeking some help, fellas. I’m taking the plunge and getting my PhD in pooping.

I need a recommendation for a cold only water bidet, single spray. I assume variable pressure is a good feature for control or does the variability just add another variable to mess up the aim? If I don’t buy a low profile, I’ll need new toilet seat bumpers? Astor, Luxe, Brondel?

The squatty potty is already in the shopping cart, just need help getting the right bidet to minimize the gripping from the Mrs. C.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AM Wood

AM Wood 335

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, William_Cannon said:

Seeking some help, fellas. I’m taking the plunge and getting my PhD in pooping.

I need a recommendation for a cold only water bidet, single spray. I assume variable pressure is a good feature for control or does the variability just add another variable to mess up the aim? If I don’t buy a low profile, I’ll need new toilet seat bumpers? Astor, Luxe, Brondel?

The squatty potty is already in the shopping cart, just need help getting the right bidet to minimize the gripping from the Mrs. C.
 

in my opinion they all function great. i've had 4 different brands. it all comes down to appearances. for me personally i would only go with a low profile one so it doesn't look like some senior assisted living situation is going on.  and a t-valve to control pressure is a must. some come with it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11860

Posted
Posted
On 1/9/2019 at 9:20 AM, AM Wood said:

i swore to myself to post a public service announcement in here when this thread popped back up.

proper bidet technique eluded me when i first started bathing my blowhole. i don't know if it was homophobia or fear of blowing something out inside me, but i always clenched my o-ring when i was power washing it. it wasn't until i read something on the other site that the light came on for me. you need to unclench that balloon knot, boys. let the water "come in" a little so it can blast any turtle head lying just behind the ring of fire. just relax that kegel and clean maybe another 1/8" inside the caca cave.

trust me, the paper will always come back clean. 

LOL at you poors and your bidets.  I have a man-servant who digs any malingerers out of my ass with a rubber spoon.  Then washes it clean, and dabs dry with the finest chamois cloth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
cabowabo

cabowabo 4650

Posted
Posted
On 1/15/2019 at 7:19 AM, AM Wood said:

in my opinion they all function great. i've had 4 different brands. it all comes down to appearances. for me personally i would only go with a low profile one so it doesn't look like some senior assisted living situation is going on.  and a t-valve to control pressure is a must. some come with it.

Yeah, they are basically all the same as far as function.  They are all likely made at the same factory in China.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...