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Posted

Should I be using one? I got a promotion at work and have to email outside the company frequently. What should be on it? Name, office phone number and position is about all I’m thinking I need. Do I need to put my email address in?

 

I trust the ballers here to steer me in the wrong direction at some point.

Posted
4 minutes ago, UnivTex34 said:

You might check with your marketing department, my company has email signature policies to standardize amongst all employees.

Yep mine as well but we still get dumbasses that put all sorts of stupid shit on their signature. So fucking annoying

  • Like 1
Posted

One of our employees decided to sign everything

 

Positively,

 

Her Name

Phone number

Title

 

Well our bosses decide they want to clean stuff up and they choose her to create a template for signatures company wide. Now all of them come pre-filled "positively"...weak ass shit.

 

 

  • Haha 1
Posted

Clever quote , or some classic quote is essential , along with a long privacy statement, a few pictures of your kids...

 

 

Never understood putting your email address in a signature, it’s already in your email dick.

Posted (edited)

Be sure to include some verbiage from your legal dept. about the restricted use of any email communications.  It should be at least 3 paragraphs long to be legally binding.

Edited by bernorange
  • Like 1
Posted
3 hours ago, SimonBolivar said:

One of our employees decided to sign everything

 

Positively,

 

Her Name

Phone number

Title

 

Well our bosses decide they want to clean stuff up and they choose her to create a template for signatures company wide. Now all of them come pre-filled "positively"...weak ass shit.

 

 

I'd use all that positivity to search for new employment.

Posted
Clever quote , or some classic quote is essential , along with a long privacy statement, a few pictures of your kids...
 
 
Never understood putting your email address in a signature, it’s already in your email dick.
It does actually come in handy when the email is forwarded, replied to, forwarded again, replied to again, etc. and eventually a new person is added after the various email programs have removed the actual email address because you are in their contacts list.

I still don't do it but I've gotten several people's email addresses like that because they did it.
Posted

Early in my career I worked for a large contractor that ended all written communication with:

 

Very Truly Yours

Name/number etc

 

Always thought that was weird.

 

 

 

 

Very Truly Yours,

BottleRocket

 

Posted

Make sure you get the shittiest quality company logo you can find and then make it at least 5 times bigger than appropriate. 

Posted
15 hours ago, bernorange said:

Be sure to include some verbiage from your legal dept. about the restricted use of any email communications.  It should be at least 3 paragraphs long to be legally binding.

Someday when i have the power to enact any law I want, I’m going to make it illegal to add long disclaimers at the bottom of emails or web pages.  No one reads them so drop the stance there is some agreement I made or understanding just because words are at the end.

Posted

Check to see if your company has a template that it will require you to use.  If no template or requirement...

IMO, the more fancy fonts, logos, links (LinkedIn, really?), sayings, quotes, etc., the more that person is trying to seem important.  Players don’t need that crap.  

Use plain text only (easiest for multiple email clients).  Full name that you use for work and any earned letters (e.g. PMP, PhD, etc.).  Title or other identifier.  Company Name.  Office telephone number (and mobile if applicable).  I agree with Huck - add email address.  That’s all you need.  

That said, you may tailor it to your specific needs.  I’ve seen account managers add a link to web-based scheduling tool for ease in scheduling meetings with customers.  Some industries still use faxes, so add that number.  Keep it simple.

 

Posted
3 hours ago, Mack Tripper said:

My favorite is the .jpg company logos that show up as attachments so that when you're looking for a document that someone sent you, every email from them has an "attachment."

Or worse, you open it on your phone, which automatically cahces it. 

Posted

Something minor that I find really annoying is-

 

Thanks,

John Smith

 

John Smith

VP of sales

XYZ company

(555) 555-5555

 

Asshole your name is in your signature you don't need to also type it in at the end of your email. 

Posted
On 7/18/2018 at 7:04 PM, luke duke said:

"If you give a woman a fish, she will eat for a day. If you teach a woman to fish, you will never get her to tie her own hooks or lures  & will always have to bait her line." - ruth Bomb

 

Posted
On 7/17/2018 at 6:01 PM, BottleRocket said:

Early in my career I worked for a large contractor that ended all written communication with:

 

Very Truly Yours

Name/number etc

 

Always thought that was weird.

 

 

 

 

Very Truly Yours,

BottleRocket

 

Several years ago I picked "Respectfully" as my closing prior to signature for professional emails that are formal.  I don't see anyone else using it and I think it sounds good.  I use "Sincerely" as an alternate depending on the message.  I leave the thank you's in body of the message.  

 

Dear Bitch,

Please suck my dick.  Thank you!

Respectfully,

Elvis 

The King of Rock & Roll

512-212-3355 mobile    elvis@sunstudios1956.com

Posted
Several years ago I picked "Respectfully" as my closing prior to signature for professional emails that are formal.  I don't see anyone else using it and I think it sounds good.  I use "Sincerely" as an alternate depending on the message.  I leave the thank you's in body of the message.  
 
Dear Bitch,
Please suck my dick.  Thank you!
Respectfully,
Elvis 
The King of Rock & Roll
512-212-3355 mobile    elvis@sunstudios1956.com

We use Respectfully at our firm.
Dickbutt pic as a jpg afterwards.
Posted
On 7/17/2018 at 8:58 PM, Steel Shank said:

Knew a dude once who had the following after his name:

"If you choose not to decide,

You still have made a choice."

Someone is a Rush fan.

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