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Helping your wife through The Change

GhostOfTomJoad

By GhostOfTomJoad
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rage-a-holic

rage-a-holic 4369

Posted
Posted
19 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:
1 hour ago, rage-a-holic said:
this is in Lulz?

If you can't approach this topic with a sense of humor (a la getting old sucks thread) you don't stand much of a chance.

You started a thread asking for help about an unfunny subject in the sub-forum for stupid/funny shit....when there's a sub-forum literally called "Can You Help Me With This?"...

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8800

Posted
Posted
On 3/7/2024 at 9:07 AM, Scheiss Meister said:

Just like with teens dealing with hormone floods, keep in mind that no matter how miserable your experience is, hers is far worse.  Be there for her, be patient, supportive, and comforting, and get fireproof Kevlar armor, with a chain mail overlay.

You know how we know you're a woman without you saying you're a woman?

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8407

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Posted
35 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

You know how we know you're a woman without you saying you're a woman?

A woman wouldn't suggest the addition of the chain mail.  I do live with a menopausal woman, so I'm just passing along her demands (the first part) and my observations (the last part).

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burntorangebongos

burntorangebongos 10710

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The peeps recommending cooling blankets and window units for her have the right idea. Most of the misery is lack off sleep. Waking up soaking wet and having to shower and change only for it to happen again after you finally drift off is a beating that would make most of you fucks cry like little bitches. The mood swings weren't too bad for me but I'm an asshole normally so I  was more myself, if anything. 

Saying something like, "I'm so sorry you are going through this, it hurts me to see you so miserable... nobody deserves that." when she says a mean thing might catch her off guard and buy you time to make your escape. But more importantly, it might help her to think about working through things differently instead of making you the target of her ire.

She'll come out of this and if you've been a supportive nice guy through this, it will likely earn you brownie points big time. 

There are a couple of guys with their experiences and how they were supportive that makes me want to suck their dicks. I'm sure their ladies show how appreciative they are. Just saying. 

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tigol

tigol 2395

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

The peeps recommending cooling blankets and window units for her have the right idea. Most of the misery is lack off sleep. Waking up soaking wet and having to shower and change only for it to happen again after you finally drift off is a beating that would make most of you fucks cry like little bitches. The mood swings weren't too bad for me but I'm an asshole normally so I  was more myself, if anything. 

Saying something like, "I'm so sorry you are going through this, it hurts me to see you so miserable... nobody deserves that." when she says a mean thing might catch her off guard and buy you time to make your escape. But more importantly, it might help her to think about working through things differently instead of making you the target of her ire.

She'll come out of this and if you've been a supportive nice guy through this, it will likely earn you brownie points big time. 

There are a couple of guys with their experiences and how they were supportive that makes me want to suck their dicks. I'm sure their ladies show how appreciative they are. Just saying. 

This is excellent advice.  Rox-take note.

Fortunately, I am a seasoned asshole as well so my mood swings just hone my salty ways.  I'm constantly on point and in a rage.  I quickly recognized something was wrong and got help, but I could see how another woman might not understand there is a problem.  

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tigol

tigol 2395

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Posted
On 3/7/2024 at 12:21 PM, Aqua Buddha said:

This right here.  I've been on TRT since December and she's looking into HRT now.  Game changer.  Yes, the medical establishment blows it off like they do a lot of other things that impact women.  Find a doctor/clinic that specializes in this.

I understand the pitfalls of giving your wife diet and fitness advice but what I've learned is they need to do less cardio and more strength/weight training.  The body is losing muscle quickly.  (This applies to men as well at that age.)  I would suggest a female personal trainer, if possible.

Also realize that every woman is different about menopause.  With some, it's short and not a big deal.  For others, it can go on for years and can be a struggle.

If a trainer isn't an option, consider a slam ball.  ~$50 and it helps get the aggression out.

 

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troph

troph 24781

Posted
Posted (edited)

I’m going to be honest I don’t think it’s that hard to be there for your woman who’s having a hard time with this stage in life. I mean I get you may need a safe space, but shit it’s harder for her, and all she really needs is leeway, you to have patience, listen without reacting (except to be empathetic), and be thoughtful. It’s really an opportunity to actively love.  I was joking about my meds but she complained about the hot flashes at night two months ago and without her asking I reset the thermostat to 62-68 in the winter and yeah the AC comes on at night when it’s cold outside. I changed the blankets so she had options in the middle of the night and I could stay warm. I told her I was doing it and she said thank you and was appreciative.  If she’s in a bad mood whatever we all are, people have been accommodating my mood swings for years, I’ve been lucky to chose partners that are more calm, so she’s got some mood swings? I give her space, know who to blame, keep my mouth shut and understand. Yeah that woman at the store was a little bitchy, you’re absolutely right. Doesn’t matter she would have not cared but for menopause. I guess I fail to see the issue unless your wife starts a fight with you but then maybe it was your fault anyway.  Our hardest part is she wants HRT but I’m going to have to make all the appointments - despite the fact that I’m 5x busier than her during the day. That’s annoying I admit but I was already planning to make her appointments for cancer screenings so I’ll do both. 

on fitness advice, I’ve found it’s very safe to give fitness advice like this - hey babes, when we retire I want to see the world and not on some old person bus where we are 68-72 and the rest of them are 80.  Let’s get active so we can stay active when we are 75? Had nothing to do with weight. We made that move 3 years ago. 

I get wanting your own support and ideas but to be honest loving a wife the way she needs to be loved just isn’t that hard. Some of you have had 30+ years to get good at it. Time to be a rockstar. Patience, leeway, empathy, thoughtfulness … now get off the couch and the guys message board and go give her a hug (unless she’s having a hot flash bc she will be pissed you’re touching her).
 

love ya. 

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9323

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Dialogue is the key. My challenge is dealing with a sense of failure when I can't immediately take away her discomfort or make her feel better. The best i can do is potentially alleviate some of the side effects, but there isnt a toggle switch solution. This could take years so it's part of the ride & we're gonna make the best of it together.

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10087

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Posted (edited)

Don't tell her that she is a prized heifer who would place high at the livestock show. If she is not from the country she will not understand that is a compliment.

 

Whenever she starts kicking and pushes me out of bed, I happily go to sleep on the couch. I get to sleep with the TV on, and she gets her space. Basically, I just let her have her way, as long as it doesn't affect the family's bottom line.

 

 

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mininghorn88

mininghorn88 2275

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My ex is a type A with big mood swings to begin with. Menopause comes along. The doctor puts her on hormones that were in the form of pellets that she would get inserted in her hip ever so often that seemed to work for the most part. She decided that she did not want to keep getting periodic incisions so the doctor prescribed some different medications which was a trial and error which, IMO, was more error. We got divorced.

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tigol

tigol 2395

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For those looking for online resources, I can vouch for Winona.com. I have received prescriptions from them and they are legit and affordable. My interactions with the staff and physicians have all been prompt and professional. The only drawback is the meds are shipped USPS.

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troph

troph 24781

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, tigol said:

For those looking for online resources, I can vouch for Winona.com. I have received prescriptions from them and they are legit and affordable. My interactions with the staff and physicians have all been prompt and professional. The only drawback is the meds are shipped USPS.

it’s bywinona.com and I’m totally checking that out thank you!! 

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burntorangebongos

burntorangebongos 10710

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Regarding sex drives, it does drop. And also , the walls are thinner or something because sex hurts some for a lot of us. Lube up and really focus on her clit. Once she gets super worked up, you can see from there if that eases her pain enough for penetration. But hurting so good can be fun, with a generous lover. If she is shutting you down a lot, this could be why. Offer back messages with lots of oils and enjoy touching her with no goal in mind. This is the kind of thoughtful behavior that makes her want to try. Most women don't want to give up on intimacy and sex. Focus on being intimate and patient and this will go a long way. 

 

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troph

troph 24781

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, tigol said:


Sure thing. Also check out DIM and Ashwagandha. You can get that OTC right away.

She’s a hard core eye roller on supplements. I’m not, but she will laugh in my face if I recommend that. As it is she makes fun of my supp regimen on the regular. 

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nnm

nnm 36327

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, burntorangebongos said:

Offer back messages with lots of oils and enjoy touching her with no goal in mind

Um yeah, that’s not how it works with guys. We start out that way with no goal in mind and then that’s out the window about 30 seconds in. 

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Chico_SA

Chico_SA 521

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On 3/7/2024 at 8:42 AM, DaysOff said:

Follow Dr. Mary Claire Haver on social media and get her on HRT and estrogen.

ehhhh... may need to check on some possible genetic predospositions first

 

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17536

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

Regarding sex drives, it does drop. And also , the walls are thinner or something because sex hurts some for a lot of us. Lube up and really focus on her clit. Once she gets super worked up, you can see from there if that eases her pain enough for penetration. But hurting so good can be fun, with a generous lover. If she is shutting you down a lot, this could be why. Offer back messages with lots of oils and enjoy touching her with no goal in mind. This is the kind of thoughtful behavior that makes her want to try. Most women don't want to give up on intimacy and sex. Focus on being intimate and patient and this will go a long way. 

sharktank-mark-cuban.gif

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HouTex

HouTex 1866

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Posted
On 3/10/2024 at 11:49 AM, burntorangebongos said:

Regarding sex drives, it does drop. And also , the walls are thinner or something because sex hurts some for a lot of us. Lube up and really focus on her clit. Once she gets super worked up, you can see from there if that eases her pain enough for penetration. But hurting so good can be fun, with a generous lover. If she is shutting you down a lot, this could be why. Offer back messages with lots of oils and enjoy touching her with no goal in mind. This is the kind of thoughtful behavior that makes her want to try. Most women don't want to give up on intimacy and sex. Focus on being intimate and patient and this will go a long way. 

 

In my wife’s case, her sex drive dropped like a rock and it’s stayed there.  When sex happens it’s extremely painful for her and we’ve tried several supposedly high quality and expensive lubes.  I’ve tried the back rub and massage thing and that just relaxes her to the point of wanting to go to sleep.  Guys, get your sex in before your wife goes through this, or get a new wife it’s that important to you.  I’m of the “for better or worse” camp so no divorce.  

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Aqua Buddha

Aqua Buddha 14581

Posted
Posted
On 3/10/2024 at 2:21 PM, burntorangebongos said:

The smart ones learn to edge and hold onto the need and focus on the woman. Breathe thru your eyeballs and experience the sublime universal power of love, dude.

 

On 3/10/2024 at 11:49 AM, burntorangebongos said:

Regarding sex drives, it does drop. And also , the walls are thinner or something because sex hurts some for a lot of us. Lube up and really focus on her clit. Once she gets super worked up, you can see from there if that eases her pain enough for penetration. But hurting so good can be fun, with a generous lover. If she is shutting you down a lot, this could be why. Offer back messages with lots of oils and enjoy touching her with no goal in mind. This is the kind of thoughtful behavior that makes her want to try. Most women don't want to give up on intimacy and sex. Focus on being intimate and patient and this will go a long way. 

 

My man:

200.gif

Ya'll should be doing this anyway.  To be really good at oral, though, you have to love it and it seems here that I have a brother from another mother....

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9374

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Aqua Buddha said:

 

My man:

200.gif

Ya'll should be doing this anyway.  To be really good at oral, though, you have to love it and it seems here that I have a brother from another mother....

derp 

Edited by Kennythetiger
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8800

Posted
Posted

The more I read this thread, the more I think Mrs. Shooter is going through late menopause. She has basically been in a nonstop rage for 2 years. It's not just me, but the whole family and long time close friends.  Dear Jesus,  whatever it is, let it end soon🙏🙏🙏

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Litig8r

Litig8r 414

Posted
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Well this thread is in LULZ

 

A woman got up and out of bed and stretched and a penny fell out of her privates. She thought it was odd but kept on with her morning routine. She went to put on a pot of coffee and a nickel fell out of her privates. She was concerned but continued her morning routine. She drank her coffee and went to brush her teeth when a dime fell out of her privates. She really was getting concerned and thought if anything else happens, I'm calling the doctor. She got dressed and started to tidy up the house, and a quarter fell out of her privates and rolled down her pant leg. Concerned, she called her doctor. She told him.....a penny, a nickel, a dime an then a quarter.

He said " no need to worry, you're going through the change"

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8800

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Litig8r said:

Well this thread is in LULZ

 

A woman got up and out of bed and stretched and a penny fell out of her privates. She thought it was odd but kept on with her morning routine. She went to put on a pot of coffee and a nickel fell out of her privates. She was concerned but continued her morning routine. She drank her coffee and went to brush her teeth when a dime fell out of her privates. She really was getting concerned and thought if anything else happens, I'm calling the doctor. She got dressed and started to tidy up the house, and a quarter fell out of her privates and rolled down her pant leg. Concerned, she called her doctor. She told him.....a penny, a nickel, a dime an then a quarter.

He said " no need to worry, you're going through the change"

Allsome!

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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8694

Posted
Posted
On 3/13/2024 at 9:00 AM, Litig8r said:

Well this thread is in LULZ

 

A woman got up and out of bed and stretched and a penny fell out of her privates. She thought it was odd but kept on with her morning routine. She went to put on a pot of coffee and a nickel fell out of her privates. She was concerned but continued her morning routine. She drank her coffee and went to brush her teeth when a dime fell out of her privates. She really was getting concerned and thought if anything else happens, I'm calling the doctor. She got dressed and started to tidy up the house, and a quarter fell out of her privates and rolled down her pant leg. Concerned, she called her doctor. She told him.....a penny, a nickel, a dime an then a quarter.

He said " no need to worry, you're going through the change"

I'll take jokes I'm not gutsy enough to tell my wife for $500, Alex.

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troph

troph 24781

Posted
Posted
On 3/10/2024 at 6:46 AM, tigol said:

For those looking for online resources, I can vouch for Winona.com. I have received prescriptions from them and they are legit and affordable. My interactions with the staff and physicians have all been prompt and professional. The only drawback is the meds are shipped USPS.

 

On 3/10/2024 at 9:21 AM, troph said:

it’s bywinona.com and I’m totally checking that out thank you!! 

She used bywinona for her HRT and is in her second week of treatment. She’s not mentioned a hot flash but she also tends to not complain much. If I remember I’ll update the thread again later. Thanks again. 🙂

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9323

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Mrs GOTJ continues to make steady progress. Lately she's been big on a high fiber diet which is supposed to help mitigate several of the changes. Of course she's now spending plenty of time in the restroom dealing with the side effects of eating a bowl of Colon Blow cereal each morning. One of the biggest challenges is her getting her progesterone filled since it's stocked out of pretty much every pharmacy in the area.

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troph

troph 24781

Posted
Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Mrs GOTJ continues to make steady progress. Lately she's been big on a high fiber diet which is supposed to help mitigate several of the changes. Of course she's now spending plenty of time in the restroom dealing with the side effects of eating a bowl of Colon Blow cereal each morning. One of the biggest challenges is her getting her progesterone filled since it's stocked out of pretty much every pharmacy in the area.

bywinona fulfills through a pharmacy for my wife.  Shows up in the mail. 

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tigol

tigol 2395

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Posted
1 hour ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Mrs GOTJ continues to make steady progress. Lately she's been big on a high fiber diet which is supposed to help mitigate several of the changes. Of course she's now spending plenty of time in the restroom dealing with the side effects of eating a bowl of Colon Blow cereal each morning. One of the biggest challenges is her getting her progesterone filled since it's stocked out of pretty much every pharmacy in the area.

That's one of the reasons I went online and I've had a great experience thus far.  If you have a local compounding pharmacy, consider switching and asking for a cream if you'd rather keep it local.  Also, the progesterone is filled with peanut oil so beware for those with allergies.

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