Helping your wife through The Change

[troph 24781]

probably won't give monthly updates or anything but supply has been a non issue, 3 doses delivered.  "side effects" are great, she's happy and feels good. I'm like "duh" taking supplemental estrogen (and in her case also progesterone) is like eating candy on christmas morning.

[Chewbacca 7766]

On 3/9/2024 at 3:51 AM, tigol said:

If a trainer isn't an option, consider a slam ball.  ~$50 and it helps get the aggression out.

 

Lord I hate those fucking things.  Ball slams can lick my taint.

[TejasPedro 1857]

Sir you stop what you are doing this very minute and you march yourself right into her knitting circle and look her dead in the eye and say, look I get you are transitioning from crotchety nag to old crotchety hag, but JHC, woman them damn sandwiches just ain’t going to make themselves and that laundry is stacking up something fierce. 

[Dennis Taylor 18808]

1 hour ago, TejasPedro said:

Sir you stop what you are doing this very minute and you march yourself right into her knitting circle and look her dead in the eye and say, look I get you are transitioning from crotchety nag to old crotchety hag, but JHC, woman them damn sandwiches just ain’t going to make themselves and that laundry is stacking up something fierce. 

[tigol 2395]

Bump.  Here is a one sheet with a timeline that I thought was helpful:

https://www.menopause.org.au/hp/information-sheets/perimenopause

I'm hunting down a perimeno guide but I'm going to miss my edit window.

Edited Tuesday at 12:20 PM by tigol
refined

[tigol 2395]

Here is a more scientific article with case studies, although a bit disorganized, with figures that I found helpful regarding HRT:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6082400/

Here's a decent guide that is more straight forward.

https://online.nursing.georgetown.edu/blog/a-guide-to-perimenopause-menopause-and-postmenopause/

Here's a good start on diet and exercise tips.  I started here and had to ramp up the exercise, quit drinking, and really hone my diet and supplement routine due to anxiety and depression:

https://www.healthline.com/health/perimenopause-diet

I was a very heavy drinker and had underlying mental health issues that were amplified by this transition.  This book helped me quit drinking 2 years ago:

https://a.co/d/hiI81IF

Perimenopause has made me more confident and physically and mentally healthier.  It fucking sucked for everyone at first, but my marriage is actually stronger and happier.  YMMV, but I  KNEW I was being jerked around by bullshit.  Always get a second or third opinion if something doesn't sound right.  

If that's too much, just start at https://bywinona.com/.  Their HRT service and medical care has been excellent.  The articles on the site are legit.

[Goofyboy 3268]

Thank you for the links. One suggestion was limit caffeine. If my wife limits caffeine, she will burn down her warehouses. She tolerates coffee during the week. She lives for her espresso on the weekends.

Anyone have any good info on HRT and breast cancer? My wife had breast cancer a year ago. She’s 100% clear and had testing done. Everything I’ve read basically comes down to don’t do it OR we were wrong about risks and they are minimal.

[South Austin 52443]

Husband of perimenopausal wife reporting for duty.

As reported in the Longevity thread, my wife hit perimenopause almost to years ago seemingly at the exact moment she durned 50.  She's always had a tough time sleeping since the hormonal change from having kids, but now the sleep trouble is turned up to 11.  I guess it's good that she's used to little sleep for the past 10 years or so because she's used to powering through and it's not affecting her emotionally.    

Her other main symptom right now is weight gain.  She works out a ton -- lots of walking but also a good weight training routine -- and for the most part maintains a healthy diet of high protein and fiber, healthy carbs, low sugars and processed foods, and lots of greens.  And she takes all of the supplements.  But she's still put on some weigh in her belly area.  Not a ton, but definitely noticeable and way more than she's ever had and is comfortable with.  

The hard part for me right now is constantly hearing her say how "fat" she is.  I use the term in quotes because she's not fat or obese, certainly not by my standards and most clinical ones.  But on a daily basis I hear her complain that she's fat, that her clothes don't fit, that none of the dietary adjustments are working, that she won't be able to find any dress for our next formal event, etc.  I try to respond by saying that she looks great, I find her body wildly attractive, she'll definitely find a beautiful dress she looks great in, etc.  But she just blows all that off.  I should be used to all that by now and not take it so hard, but it's sort of starting to weigh me down.  I know that it absolutely shouldn't, and I just need to keep reassuring her that I love her body even if I get nothing in response.  

For now, the weight gain and her body image hasn't affected her sex drive, which is still vibrant, and her mood swings are slight and infrequent.

I need to keep telling myself to practice empathy and patience, and continue telling her how much I love her and am attracted to her, and how this is our life together for the next several years. 

Edit:  And odd that this thread is in Lulz, and not Help. 

Edited Tuesday at 02:23 PM by South Austin

[tigol 2395]

33 minutes ago, Goofyboy said:

Thank you for the links. One suggestion was limit caffeine. If my wife limits caffeine, she will burn down her warehouses. She tolerates coffee during the week. She lives for her espresso on the weekends.

Anyone have any good info on HRT and breast cancer? My wife had breast cancer a year ago. She’s 100% clear and had testing done. Everything I’ve read basically comes down to don’t do it OR we were wrong about risks and they are minimal.

Regarding caffeine, I understand.  I started mixing in some decaf beans with regular during the week to see if I could handle it.  I did.  Decaf espresso is also a thing.  I regularly order one and find them satisfying.  I mix it up with reduction in mind and it's working for me.

Have your wife reach out to one of the docs using chat on bywinona for individual concerns.  Here's their video regarding cancer risk:

https://help.bywinona.com/en/articles/5361244-hrt-and-cancer-risk

 

[tigol 2395]

29 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Husband of perimenopausal wife reporting for duty.

As reported in the Longevity thread, my wife hit perimenopause almost to years ago seemingly at the exact moment she durned 50.  She's always had a tough time sleeping since the hormonal change from having kids, but now the sleep trouble is turned up to 11.  I guess it's good that she's used to little sleep for the past 10 years or so because she's used to powering through and it's not affecting her emotionally.    

Her other main symptom right now is weigh gain.  She works out a ton -- lots of walking but also a good weight training routine -- and for the most part maintains a healthy diet of high protein and fiber, healthy carbs, low sugars and processed foods, and lots of greens.  And she takes all of the supplements.  But she's still put on some weigh in her belly area.  Not a ton, but definitely noticeable and way more than she's ever had and is comfortable with.  

The hard part for me right now is constantly hearing her say how "fat" she is.  I use the term in quotes because she's not fat or obese, certainly not by my standards and most clinical ones.  But on a daily basis I hear her complain that she's fat, that her clothes don't fit, that none of the dietary adjustments are working, that she won't be able to find any dress for our next formal event, etc.  I try to respond by saying that she looks great, I find her body wildly attractive, she'll definitely find a beautiful dress she looks great in, etc.  But she just blows all that off.  I should be used to all that by now and not take it so hard, but it's sort of starting to weigh me down.  I know that it absolutely shouldn't, and I just need to keep reassuring her that I love her body even if I get nothing in response.  

For now, the weight gain and her body image hasn't affected her sex drive, which is still vibrant, and her mood swings are slight and infrequent.

I need to keep telling myself to practice empathy and patience, and continue telling her how much I love her and am attracted to her, and how this is our life together for the next several years. 

Edit:  And odd that this thread is in Lulz, and not Help. 

DHEA is her friend.  It's also yours.  She'll be all over you and losing belly fat in the process.

https://bywinona.com/product/dhea

It's in LUTZ because there's more traffic and I think OP wanted to inject some humor.

Edit:  Since you are in Austin, check out People's Pharmacy as a local resource if that's preferable.

Edited Tuesday at 02:14 PM by tigol

[South Austin 52443]

13 minutes ago, tigol said:

DHEA is her friend.  It's also yours.  She'll be all over you and losing belly fat in the process.

https://bywinona.com/product/dhea

It's in LUTZ because there's more traffic and I think OP wanted to inject some humor.

Edit:  Since you are in Austin, check out People's Pharmacy as a local resource if that's preferable.

My wife has been a People's VIP for quite some time.  And I think she recently added DHEA.  I took it for a couple years but I read some articles about some possible not-so-great side effects for men so I ditched it.  Haven't noticed any adverse effects since cutting it out.

[tigol 2395]

1 minute ago, South Austin said:

My wife has been a People's VIP for quite some time.  And I think she recently added DHEA.  I took it for a couple years but I read some articles about some possible not-so-great side effects for men so I ditched it.  Haven't noticed any adverse effects since cutting it out.

For me, DHEA eased my symptoms while I was moving off of hormonal birth control and on to HRT for perimenopause.  That took about three months.  It may take about that long for her to see any physical benefits.  My mood lifted within the first month.  The weight loss was slower, but my workouts were more productive due to the energy boost.

HRT is similar in that it takes about a month to see how it's going and make adjustments.  I've had to adjust things a few times due to the return of symptoms, but I recognized them quickly and contacted the Dr. via chat.  Winona shipped an updated formula the next day.