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Colonoscopy Talk

Rex Kramer

By Rex Kramer
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Sandman

Sandman 3,403

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I need to get going with one of these, as I just turned 50. But honestly, the prep scares me more than the anal intrusion. I hate taking things that mess with my stomach, I don't think I could handle it. 

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Rex Kramer

Rex Kramer 1,335

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3 minutes ago, Chico_SA said:

Aint no thing. Seriously   I have no memory of the procedure from when they said "we are going to give you some meds" to when they said "your wife is here to pick you up" 

Oh I figured. The problem is, that’s tomorrow. 

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deadshank

deadshank 24,652

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You dorks stop the worrying, fretting, pissing and moaning.  Take the prep stuff, blow it all out, go get the procedure done.  It's not like you're having a double lung transplant.  Good grief.

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Tonesky

Tonesky 934

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10 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

Prep seems to be the hardest part, from what my wife told me. I'm due.  I have a bidet, so it can't be that bad, can it? 

Sadly, there is nothing you can do to prepare your anus for this.  But, along with everything else in your gut, this too shall pass.

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Wiler77

Wiler77 1,566

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22 minutes ago, Rex Kramer said:

Oh I figured. The problem is, that’s tomorrow. 

Had one 3 weeks ago.  I thought it was quite simple.  The prep stuff I had this time was much easier than the large volume I had to drink 7 years ago.

Dissolve some stuff in a pint of water.  Drink.  Then drink another pint of water.  Repeat with 2nd dose a few hours later.

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Rex Kramer

Rex Kramer 1,335

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1 minute ago, deadshank said:

You dorks stop the worrying, fretting, pissing and moaning.  Take the prep stuff, blow it all out, go get the procedure done.  It's not like you're having a double lung transplant.  Good grief.

I’m eating lemon jello and Jolly Ranchers. Not fun man. I’m fucking hangry. This is serious shit. 

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Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10,960

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20 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

Prep seems to be the hardest part, from what my wife told me. I'm due.  I have a bidet, so it can't be that bad, can it? 

Bidet provides minimal relief.  Better than paper for sure, but my experience was still pretty rough.  

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F250

F250 28,767

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30 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

Prep seems to be the hardest part, from what my wife told me. I'm due.  I have a bidet, so it can't be that bad, can it? 

It's fucking torture. By the end you are shitting out crystal clear water which is impressive but it's like water boarding your colon.

 

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Francisco 2.0

Francisco 2.0 32,389

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Did it two years ago in January.  Drank a bunch of chicken stock the day prior, since that was the allowed "food" I could ingest.  What everyone else says about the shitting of water and whatnot is true.  

I do recall apologizing profusely to the cute nurse who was attending to me in post-op for I was a farting machine.  She just laughed at me.

Doc sent me some pretty color pictures of the inside of my colon; he found a polyp that was later ruled benign.  He tattoo'd the spot where he cut it out and told me in 10 (8 now) years to come back for another colonoscopy, just to see if anything grew back in the spot.

 

 

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Aqua Buddha

Aqua Buddha 14,590

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It's not as bad as you think.  Take the pills and not the liquid.  You might have to ask for it.  Follow the prep diet for the week leading up to it and that helps.

The shitting the night before is the worst part but that's basically done by 9 pm.

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RPM

RPM 26,318

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Nothing to worry about. The meds will have you in a twilight state. You may or may not remember when the doctor puts both hands on your shoulders, yells "CLEAR" and you feel some slight pressure.

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UTGrad98

UTGrad98 2,271

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What helped me the day and night before was rubbing aquaphor or Vaseline right on my butthole a few times throughout the day. Also after the first couple shits, ONLY blott your asshole, stop wiping. The no eating part was bad but not nearly as bad as I thought.  Get some chicken stock. 

My only issue was around 3 am where I was in and out of sleep and thought to myself, it's just going to be a toot. It was not just a toot so there was a change and a sheet wash. Other than that, the prep wasn't the worst thing in the world.  Still not a great day, but it was manageable and not nearly as bad as I was led to believe. 

Procedure is a nothing burger. I have to go every 5 years due to family history but so far so good. 

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Sandman

Sandman 3,403

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36 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

Take the pills and not the liquid

My sister had two friends that got the pills instead of the liquid and both had serious issues. Aspirated during the procedure and almost died. They had to abort and reschedule for a later date, which just adds insult to injury IMO. 

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54,211

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2 hours ago, Chico_SA said:

Aint no thing. Seriously   I have no memory of the procedure from when they said "we are going to give you some meds" to when they said "your wife is here to pick you up" 

Yep, exactly!

My only advice is to schedule it in the morning rather than the afternoon like I did.  Shitting your guts out the night before, then waiting until afternoon to eat isn't real fun.

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BillyGoatHill

BillyGoatHill 4,312

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Prep sucks ( at least the first time for me), second time around wasn't as bad as I knew what to expect once the stomach started churning....(never farther than 10' from toilet 😳)

Like others have already said about the meds/drugs, Propofol is the best, appropriately nicknamed Milk of Amnesia. 

july louise GIF

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45,899

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42 minutes ago, UTGrad98 said:

My only issue was around 3 am where I was in and out of sleep and thought to myself, it's just going to be a toot. It was not just a toot so there was a change and a sheet wash. 

Colonoscopy prep or not, you should know better than to ever trust a fart.

 

 

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1978horn

1978horn 892

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Had mine done last Friday.  Family history of polyps, so they wanted me to get one done at 45, although I am hearing they are now saying all 45 yr old's need them.  Fasting wasn't that hard, but the prep had me in the bathroom all night.  Procedure was at 7:30am, so I got home slept some and then watched March Madness.

They did remove 3 polyps and I will get the result within the next week or so, but doc wasn't concerned.  Probably on a 3-5yr checkup timeline due to family history.  I did come out of the sleep asking for Jameson and brisket, so I prolly need to rethink how much I drink.

My wife did consider divorcing me due to the sounds that were coming out of the bathroom.

 

Went to a bday party that night for a friend.  Ate a lot of brisket and had a beer(apparently not supposed to drink for 24 hrs).  

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Hate

Hate 20,108

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I ate Tex-Mex the day before as I misread the instructions. I thought it said no food after 8 pm the night before the procedure as opposed to 8 pm the night before the night before the procedure. Oh well. It worked out. The found 2 benign polyps and told me to come back in 10 years. 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105,095

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38 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

Colonoscopy prep or not, you should know better than to ever trust a fart.

 

 

So much this.  But ESPECIALLY during colonoscopy prep.  Son, there ain't no toots.  There's just varying degrees of wet stuff blowing out of your ass.  Until there's nothing left to blow out.

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texasdago

texasdago 7,572

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Meh... it's not bad

1. Prep sucks but its really only one day or whatever it is

2. The actual procedure was like a blip in time thanks to anesthesia 

3. Obamacare ensures your insurance company pays for alllll of it. Nothing out of pocket.

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C-Man

C-Man 27,214

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Turned 50 about 18 months ago and had one shortly after. It's not a big deal at all. There are about a half-dozen or so ways to prep. I was given two smallish (probably less than 8 oz each) of some absurdly sweet liquid that I was supposed to drink like one hour apart. The fireworks started about an hour later but it wasn't so bad. Probably not a bad idea to taper your meals down leading into the prep -- maybe stay away from certain foods.

At any rate, I drank the first bottle at like 6 or 7 on a Sunday evening and sat down to watch the Cowboys game. About every 30-45 mins, I'd need to get up and hit the head but I was never running to get there. I think it subsided around midnight or so. My wife thought it would be fun to keep an accounting of the proceedings. I think I shat like 8-10 times but after the first couple, it's just water (rancid, mind you) coming out.

Pro move -- schedule for the very first procedure of the day on a Monday. I felt the not eating/drinking part (nothing at all, not even water after like 10 PM or midnight) was the worst. Got to the clinic, was prepped and given a nice dose of Propofol (holy hell that stuff's good) and took a nap. My wife said I was back to her in like 30 mins or less. No big deal. Doc gave me the clean bill and said come back in 10 years. It was easy enough that I'll probably do it again at 55 if insurance will pay for it.

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Underdog

Underdog 28,612

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Did my 10yr checkup about a year ago today, no issues, clean bill of health.  Was given industrial strength Miralax and basically made a couple pitchers with it along with Gatorade Zero, was much more tolerable than first time and even that wasn't too bad. 

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UT_OB1

UT_OB1 2,218

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Guy a know ended up throwing up while under anesthesia and aspirating stomach acid. I’m assuming that had more to do with him / his anesthesia meds, but he was in rough shape for week after 

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JMFP

JMFP 1,120

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Maybe ten or so years ago (was 35 then) I was having some stomach/chest area pain and the Dr ordered me to get scoped from both ends. When they started getting me ready for the procedure I asked the nurse if they would come in from the top first. Luckily she told me they used different cameras... Anyway, turned out my gallbladder had quit working (not stones, just quit). Had run through several tests and scans before they finally figured it out. The worst part was they made me wait until I farted before I could leave. And they had to be there for it. 

Oh, and my gastro doctor looked like Bo Pelini. 

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Rex Kramer

Rex Kramer 1,335

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5 hours ago, UTGrad98 said:

What helped me the day and night before was rubbing aquaphor or Vaseline right on my butthole a few times throughout the day. Also after the first couple shits, ONLY blott your asshole, stop wiping. The no eating part was bad but not nearly as bad as I thought.  Get some chicken stock. 

My only issue was around 3 am where I was in and out of sleep and thought to myself, it's just going to be a toot. It was not just a toot so there was a change and a sheet wash. Other than that, the prep wasn't the worst thing in the world.  Still not a great day, but it was manageable and not nearly as bad as I was led to believe. 

Procedure is a nothing burger. I have to go every 5 years due to family history but so far so good. 

Did you just fucking say toot?

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ChuckNorrisActionJeans

ChuckNorrisActionJeans 2,663

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you can't always get a good appointment but yes -- the "split prep" that comes with an afternoon appointment sucks. You've already been butt-purging water for hours straight and you don't get good sleep... and then in the morning, you have another half of the prep. It really, really feels like overkill. 

Also, kudos to the one who ate Tex Mex the day before, but damn you lucky you didn't get an F-minus on bowel prep (they grade you lol) and had to cancel... they need to see in there, enchiladas tend to block the visuals 

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