Colonoscopy Talk

[Willfully Horn 7913]

SIL arrived on schedule for her procedure last month. The anesthesiologist did not. No big deal. The gastro team went all in on fentanyl, and scoped her pipes anyway. She only had to ask twice for more drug.

[Anastasis 23363]

hmmm, propofol. 

[Rex Kramer 1296]

[horn4life 3753]

First rule of Prep Club, is there are NO farts!

Second Rule of Prep club, is you have to talk about Prep Club.

Third rule of Prep club is you must say Propofol!

 

There... I summed up everything.  I waited way too long to get mine, and I was lucky, only had a few small polyps and nothing of concern.  But it really is a simply procedure and I think there is something inherently fearful about the butthole in hetero men.  Thus men unnecessarily have severe consequences because of an irrational fear.  It's a procedure, and yes prep sucks, but the reason is you are trying give the camera the best view possible.  And little bits of shit make the job a lot harder to get a "sure" result.  Just look at the prep as a way to kick start some weight loss if you are so inclined.

But now for a joke-  On thing I have always thought would be hilarious would be to walk into the waiting room early in the morning, not unlike Bill Murray in Caddie Shack.  Rolling in with large black garden hose draped over my shoulder, with one end dragging on the ground.  Then shout to the front desk, "Where does Doc want this?"  I would love just to see the looks on folks faces waiting for the procedure...

[Gatorubet 30052]

20 hours ago, F250 said:

It's fucking torture. By the end you are shitting out crystal clear water which is impressive but it's like water boarding your colon.

if I’d waited an additional month, my colon cancer tumor would’ve burst through the colon and seeded my entire abdomen. It was only a 16th of an inch away from that. All you assholes go get colonoscopies immediately. Do not wait. It is just not worth it, no matter what your hesitation is.

[Rex Kramer 1296]

Just got done. Was a really minor deal. And I learned some things. I’m 45, about to be 46.

Three of the hottest nurses were there. I’ve convinced my wife to get hers done there. 

[F250 28647]

10 hours ago, Willfully Horn said:

SIL arrived on schedule for her procedure last month. The anesthesiologist did not. No big deal. The gastro team went all in on fentanyl, and scoped her pipes anyway. She only had to ask twice for more drug.

She had to ask twice for drugs during a colonoscopy?

[closetohumping 17379]

Just had a hemorrhoid.  Female urgent care doctor checked my prostate.  Not fun

[StassneyHorn 6534]

My dad had a colonoscopy at the beginning of the year. 7 polyps, all benign. His dumbass did drink coffee afterwards and it triggered some fucked up gall bladder/ gall stones issue and had to have emergency surgery to remove it. His gall bladder ended up bursting during the surgery and we all got pretty lucky that he’s still alive. 
 

So get rid of your gall bladder the first second you can.

[Incredulity 11530]

That’s extremely galling.

[Brisketexan 104447]

Wait…you’re not supposed to drink coffee after a colonoscopy? For how long?
Cuz I’m pretty sure I had some the next day. Nobody told me otherwise.

[Willfully Horn 7913]

11 hours ago, F250 said:

She had to ask twice for drugs during a colonoscopy?

Yes. Being aware of what was going on, and having the ability to say so, was her motivation; not pain,

 

[Native Horn 3483]

Morning of procedure while still at home (before heading to the doc), I passed out for a minute in my house.  Dehydration, I'm guessing.  My melon left a dent in the wall.  But as others have said, the procedure itself is a piece of cake.

Had my mom stop at Sonics (Rez Dogs holla!) on the way home and housed a double jalapeno cheeseburger in about three minutes.  Glorious.

[Wally Fairway 5517]

On 3/26/2024 at 11:25 AM, Gatorubet said:

All you assholes go get colonoscopies immediately. Do not wait. It is just not worth it, no matter what your hesitation is.

Listen to this man, don't pussy out. It isn't bad at all, especially if you compare it to a prostate biopsy, now that is a real pain in the ass (and I should know since I've had 3 of them)

[Jerry Callo 8658]

23 hours ago, Rex Kramer said:

And I learned some things. I’m 45, about to be 46.

You probably could have figured that out without a colonoscopy.

[Earl Haffler 576]

Not to scare you or anything, but I had my first coloscopy at 50 and when I woke up from the procedure, the GI doc showed me a picture and said "I don't know what this is, but it's got to come out".  Based on the picture, I knew it was cancer.  Got it cut out two weeks later and was staged as stage 1.  I was very lucky that I got the coloscopy when I did as the tumor has not penetrated the muscle wall yet.  I get a colonoscopy every 3 years now.  I ask the GI doc for a discount since I'm now missing my ascending colon.  She says "no".

[Rex Kramer 1296]

41 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

You probably could have figured that out without a colonoscopy.

Ha. Point being, with all these early colon cancer diagnoses, or earlier than normal, it’s imperative you get checked out at that age and probably 40 if you have history of colon cancer. 

Men are generally fearful of the deal, and I get why, but it was easy. Prepping by far was the worst part. The African American community, as an example, is at relatively higher risk and doesn’t get screened. 

[Rex Kramer 1296]

I was still loopy yesterday and tried to zoom in, with my fingers, hard copy printouts of two polyps removed. My wife was like, dude that is a piece of paper. 

[1978horn 880]

13 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Wait…you’re not supposed to drink coffee after a colonoscopy? For how long?
Cuz I’m pretty sure I had some the next day. Nobody told me otherwise.

Yeah, I was not aware.  Had a cup about 45min after my procedure last Friday and no issues.

Edited March 27 by 1978horn

[Rex Kramer 1296]

8 minutes ago, 1978horn said:

Yeah, I was not aware.  Had a cup about 45min after my procedure last Friday and no issues.

I’m drinking coffee now, frozen with fear I’m about to explode. 

[cabowabo 4449]

I actually look forward to getting them done now.  Best sleep I ever get and that Propofol shit burns clean.  I wake up and have no hangover whatsoever.  Hell, I drove myself home 225 miles after my last one (after my wife got us out of the hospital parking lot).  

[royiv 9126]

14 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

I actually look forward to getting them done now.  Best sleep I ever get and that Propofol shit burns clean.  I wake up and have no hangover whatsoever.  Hell, I drove myself home 225 miles after my last one (after my wife got us out of the hospital parking lot).  

Propofol is awesome. I can understand why Michael Jackson got addicted to the stuff.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10131]

1 hour ago, royiv said:

Propofol is awesome. I can understand why Michael Jackson got addicted to the stuff.

Same. If I ever win powerball... reminds me... gotta get a ticket now.

[Thetexashammer 1062]

[Gatorubet 30052]

3 hours ago, Earl Haffler said:

Not to scare you or anything, but I had my first coloscopy at 50 and when I woke up from the procedure, the GI doc showed me a picture and said "I don't know what this is, but it's got to come out". 

My surgeon said, “Ubet, I know I told you that Laparoscopic surgery doesn’t leave scars - but when you’re feeling less woozy you’ll see there’s a large horizontal scar on your right abdomen.”

” That cancer tumor was so large I’m amazed you were even able to take a crap. I almost slapped it on the bottom and gave it a name.” 

 

[Lat22 3989]

Stop being pussies and get it done.  I've literally watched two close family members die of colon cancer.  The end isn't pretty.  Get it done.  It will be the best nap you've ever had.

[BabaYaga 15202]

On 3/25/2024 at 2:15 PM, Francisco 2.0 said:

Did it two years ago in January.  Drank a bunch of chicken stock the day prior, since that was the allowed "food" I could ingest.  What everyone else says about the shitting of water and whatnot is true.  

I do recall apologizing profusely to the cute nurse who was attending to me in post-op for I was a farting machine.  She just laughed at me.

Doc sent me some pretty color pictures of the inside of my colon; he found a polyp that was later ruled benign.  He tattoo'd the spot where he cut it out and told me in 10 (8 now) years to come back for another colonoscopy, just to see if anything grew back in the spot.

 

 

So.  You have an inner ass tattoo?  And we're just learning about this now?

[General Specific 3223]

Meh... it's not bad
1. Prep sucks but its really only one day or whatever it is
2. The actual procedure was like a blip in time thanks to anesthesia 
3. Obamacare ensures your insurance company pays for alllll of it. Nothing out of pocket.

Easy peasy!

4. It’s not the out of pocket most worry about, it’s everything else shooting out your ass!

[Armybrat 40678]

[Lat22 3989]

1 hour ago, BabaYaga said:

I do recall apologizing profusely to the cute nurse who was attending to me in post-op for I was a farting machine.  She just laughed at me.

You have to be careful with the cute nurses when you're waking up.  That propofal makes me a flirty old bastard.  Especially dangerous if your wife is standing next to her.

[fattyflattie 4636]

11 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

You have to be careful with the cute nurses when you're waking up.  That propofal makes me a flirty old bastard.  Especially dangerous if your wife is standing next to her.

The prep, the Dr’s joke about an additional circumcision as I was counting down to night night time, and hitting on the nurses as I woke up are all I remember.   Get checked guys. I did because my friend was dying of prostate cancer and we used to have lots of similar gastro issues that his doc told him were clear warnings.   I also disregarded my wife’s advice and ate some enchiladas later that day. Was delicious.  

[Bevo 13489]

On 3/25/2024 at 12:57 PM, Rex Kramer said:

NowThis?

Just remember not to say "Fuck, this" right before you fall asleep.

[Francisco 2.0 32290]

2 hours ago, BabaYaga said:

So.  You have an inner ass tattoo?  And we're just learning about this now?

 

 

Yep. But I didn't get a cute butterfly decal for the backglass of my SUV.

 

 

[Earl Haffler 576]

2 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

My surgeon said, “Ubet, I know I told you that Laparoscopic surgery doesn’t leave scars - but when you’re feeling less woozy you’ll see there’s a large horizontal scar on your right abdomen.”

” That cancer tumor was so large I’m amazed you were even able to take a crap. I almost slapped it on the bottom and gave it a name.” 

 

Those colorectal surgeons (aka, proctologists) do have a sense of humor.  When mine visited me the day after the surgery, he asked me if I wanted to see the cancer.  I said I didn't think so.  He said "yes you do" and pulled out his iphone and showed me a picture of the tumor.  I got a big ole scar too even though he did it laparoscopically.  Can't safely pull that shit through those little holes.

[Lat22 3989]

22 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

The prep, the Dr’s joke about an additional circumcision as I was counting down to night night time, and hitting on the nurses as I woke up are all I remember.   Get checked guys. I did because my friend was dying of prostate cancer and we used to have lots of similar gastro issues that his doc told him were clear warnings.   I also disregarded my wife’s advice and ate some enchiladas later that day. Was delicious.  

My doc asked me where I wanted the Hillary tattoo as I was going under. 😆

[StassneyHorn 6534]

On 3/27/2024 at 11:46 AM, 1978horn said:

Yeah, I was not aware.  Had a cup about 45min after my procedure last Friday and no issues.

I think the no caffeine/coffee is because they’re diuretics and can make you dehydrated and send you back after you just emptied yourself out. He’s also 65 so no spring chicken 

Edited March 30 by StassneyHorn

[Wally Fairway 5517]

1 hour ago, StassneyHorn said:

I think the no caffeine/coffee is because they’re diuretics and can make you dehydrated and send you back after you just emptied yourself out. He’s also 65 so no spring chicken 

Heads up, you will get there before you know it

[SeattleHorn 116]

Just tell your GI doc they don't know what they're talking about if they tell you not to eat anything the day before: https://www.statnews.com/2024/03/19/colonoscopy-preparation-liquid-only-diet-data-gastroenterologists/
 

[Murfdogg21 4412]

How often does it get covered by insurance under 50 without symptoms or personal/family history? Seems like it becoming common in younger people but they don’t tell people to do it until they turn 50.

[fattyflattie 4636]

4 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

How often does it get covered by insurance under 50 without symptoms or personal/family history? Seems like it becoming common in younger people but they don’t tell people to do it until they turn 50.

It’s always covered now.

[royiv 9126]

4 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

How often does it get covered by insurance under 50 without symptoms or personal/family history? Seems like it becoming common in younger people but they don’t tell people to do it until they turn 50.

Can’t answer the insurance question, but current guidance is 45 years old not 50.

[4th and 5 4909]

I’d rather have a colonoscopy every day for a year than one hemorrhoid surgery.

Your 0-10 pain scale gets a major recalibration. 

[Newdoc 3429]

On 3/27/2024 at 11:35 AM, Earl Haffler said:

Not to scare you or anything,

Yes, you should somewhat scare people. The incidence of colon CA in younger people is increasing. The take rate on colonoscopy is not great and it's one of those disease processes that is slow enough that finding suspicious colon polyps or Cancer early is a game changer. I usually ask people "If we can get it early and while your asymptomatic then it's usually an easy polypectomy or less invasive surgery and it's a whole hell of lot better than removing half your colon, wearing a poop bag on your abdomen and getting chemo since you let the cancer spread outside the colon."

And don't do the Cologuard. Exact Sciences is not upfront about their false positive rate. They claim close to 9% but in reality it's closer to 40%+ due to the way they report the two aspects of the test. And it is only meant to detect polyps that are in advanced stages of precancerous development.

So just do the prep, have the pretty nurse stick an IV in your arm, get the black snake up your rear while you take a nap and know you've done something to prevent a lot of misery down the road.

[Basil 742]

I can confirm Newdoc may know what he's talking about.  I've had both and I'd certainly rec the scope over the cancer.  I'm back for my 3 year tomorrow.  Prep day sucks worst than procedure day.

[RPM 26183]

On 3/26/2024 at 11:17 AM, closetohumping said:

Just had a hemorrhoid.  Female urgent care doctor checked my prostate.  Not fun

Avatar revoked

[Gatorubet 30052]

On 3/25/2024 at 8:21 PM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

My doc is cool with me going with cologuard so I basically have to crap in a bowl every 3 years. Mail it in, and wait a week for the results.

Cologuard detect 90% of cancer.  So the good news is you save some money and miss the procedure - and the bad news is you’ll die of metastasized cancer of the 10% variety

Edit: did not see new doc before I posted.   I would also not do 10 years between colonoscopies nor would I wait till 50 to get my first one.    Like doc said, people get the cancer more frequently in earlier than they used to, so the standard of care as to frequency of procedure is probably off

Edited June 20 by Gatorubet

[RPM 26183]

I took my first one when I was 45. They found a couple dozen polyps, thankfully all benign. Had to get one every year, then 3 years now 10 years. Do not miss the prep. Do miss the post-fast feast. It's a glorious feeling.

Edited June 20 by RPM

[Gatorubet 30052]

2 hours ago, RPM said:

I took my first one when I was 45. They found a couple dozen polyps, thankfully all benign. Had to get one every year, then 3 years now 10 years. Do not miss the prep. Do miss the post-fast feast. It's a glorious feeling.

My advice is to do that procedure as many times within as short a period between as your insurance will allow.  

Your life is more important than their insurance money.  

[wutang75 434]

I did the poop in the box thing. My doc seemed to be fine with it. Realizing that other 10% is probably not something to f with - so planning on getting procedure this year.

[Brisketexan 104447]

20 minutes ago, wutang75 said:

I did the poop in the box thing. My doc seemed to be fine with it. Realizing that other 10% is probably not something to f with - so planning on getting procedure this year.

Some of us poop in a box recreationally.