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Colonoscopy Talk


Rex Kramer

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21 hours ago, Uncle Nate said:

1. Do the damn prep.  It's not that bad, and it will give you a great cleaning out, which isn't a bad thing. But most importantly is you want to do the fasting and prep just this one time, and if you don't do the prep completely and as prescribed, odds are you'll have to try again.  

2. I would STRONGLY recommend that if you don't have a handheld shower head, make the nominal investment and get one.  Why?  Because if you do a complete wiping after every trip to the toilet, you are going to be raw as hell down there and very well could give yourself a hemorrhoid if you get to wiping too much.  So my advice is just a superficial wipe or patting, and then finish off in the shower with the handheld.  Your butt will thank you.

3. Use gatorade, not powerade.  Trust me on this.  It makes a difference.  And don't use red, do green or clear.  The red could lead to the doctor seeing something that's not an actual issue.  

4. The insistence on you having a driver is legit.  Why? Because the best part of the colonscopy is the drugs.  And you're still going to be a tad loopy when they release you (not real loopy, just a pleasant little relaxed high, but also just a little disoriented).  When you wake up from the procedure, you will have felt like you just had the best 8-hr sleep you've had in a long time.  It's awesome.

5.  The second best part of the colonoscopy is the next meal.  You are relaxed, cleaned out, and a little hungry.  I would go for either a big ass breakfast or a greasy cheeseburger.  

 

That's my advice.  Just do it as prescribed.  Get you a book because you'll be in there awhile, and seriously consider getting a handheld shower head for the cleaning (unless you are a rich fuck who owns a bidet...then problem solved).

This is the gospel for those of you that haven’t had the pleasure, yet.

19 hours ago, Newdoc said:

Before I switched practices I did about 1000 colonoscopies. I only had one guy decline the propofol. I was like “suit yourself”. A little Versed made sure he didn’t remember much of it anyway. 

Who in their right mind would decline propofol?

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