Houston Astros 2024 Season Thread

[WBT 20,561]

30 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

 

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

but why?

[kevwun 15,769]

I don't know if he needs to go another inning.  That was a lot of hard hit balls.

[Gourmand 7,774]

That dumbass in the Space City jersey cheering that HR needs a kick in the nuts and a beer spilled on him

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Score some runs assholes

[tx 3 putt 76,878]

Get him home

Pay your light bill !

[Slacks 6,819]

Bat flip double.

[Dennis Taylor 18,811]

Bat flipping warning track power almost got tubby thrown out at 2nd

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Singleton bat flip was not home run worthy

[Slacks 6,819]

2 minutes ago, Mitch Hedberg said:

Score some runs assholes

I was going to ask why you named yourself after a dead comedian. 

Then I realized I named myself after dead pants. 

I don't know why.

[David Dennison 18,851]

Good lord.

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Damnit. Really needed Caratini to come through there

[David Dennison 18,851]

These are some of the worst ABs I've ever seen.

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

2 minutes ago, Slacks said:

I was going to ask why you named yourself after a dead comedian. 

Then I realized I named myself after dead pants. 

I don't know why.

I’m not sure. I was drunk. I used to drink a lot. I still do but I used to to. 

[UTexasFight 9,430]

1 hour ago, WBT said:

What kind of stupid name is River?

I think I’ll take that over his brother, Ryder.

[UTexasFight 9,430]

12 minutes ago, WBT said:

but why?

Hopefully to package him with Taillon to the Astros 

[Gut Wagon 8,065]

13 minutes ago, kevwun said:

I don't know if he needs to go another inning.  That was a lot of hard hit balls.

Please report to the Houston dugout at once. Then swap outfits with Espada. 

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Sweeps are hard.

[Scraps 13,561]

I blame the kid

[runthebone 7,967]

Can't keep sending him out

[Gale Snoats 242]

Why the fuck is he still out there.

[tx 3 putt 76,878]

2 minutes ago, Scraps said:

I blame the kid

that kid needs to be punched 

Haha JLope !

[tx 3 putt 76,878]

Diaz !!!!

[Gale Snoats 242]

Altuve should have scored twice

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Bring on Yandy! We need more Diaz’s!!

[tx 3 putt 76,878]

 

[Overlord 366]

Somebody shut that fucking kid up, or I’m gonna lose my shit!!

[Scraps 13,561]

Fucking Martinez walking dude in front of Ohtani

[UTexasFight 9,430]

 

4 years ago today.

I hate Kelly so much 

Benches cleared Tuesday night during the Dodgers' 5-2 victory over the Astros in the first game between the teams since it was revealed that Houston stole signs en route to a 2017 World Series championship that came at Los Angeles' expense.

The fracas occurred after Dodgers reliever Joe Kelly threw high-and-tight pitches to Astros stars Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa in the sixth inning

 

4 minute mark

 

 

[Scraps 13,561]

Fucking Martinez walking dude in front of Ohtani

Doesnt matter when you have such an elite pitcher in King

[Gut Wagon 8,065]

King strolls in and Ks the GOAT on 3 straight? Brass 'nads.

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Oh yeah. Let’s sweep this MFer against Kelly’s pussy ass!

[dr99 560]

That prick Joe Kelly better not throw at Altuve or Bregman next inning.

[tx 3 putt 76,878]

10 minutes ago, Scraps said:

13 minutes ago, Scraps said:

Fucking Martinez walking dude in front of Ohtani

Doesnt matter when you have such an elite pitcher in King

[Overlord 366]

That fan’s got an arm. 

Sign him up. 

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Lux is a pussy too

[Scraps 13,561]

That prick Joe Kelly better not throw at Altuve or Bregman next inning.

Oh you know something is going to happen

[UTexasFight 9,430]

1 minute ago, dr99 said:

That prick Joe Kelly better not throw at Altuve or Bregman next inning.

King better limit the damage to keep this a close game.

they get another run and he’s for sure reprising the same shit he did 4 years ago today on that mound 

[tx 3 putt 76,878]

Stupid me thinking you 100% bring back king in the 8th 

[Overlord 366]

Get this chump out of the game. 

I don't want to see him pitch in an Astros uniform again. Or any uniform

[tx 3 putt 76,878]

 

[Scraps 13,561]

Meyers is a dumbass

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

1 minute ago, Scraps said:

Meyers is a dumbass

That throw had more air under it than a 747

[Scraps 13,561]

If Kelly plunks someone I wouldn't be opposed to Jon beating the fuck out of him.....God's Plan and all

[UTexasFight 9,430]

27 minutes ago, Overlord said:

Somebody shut that fucking kid up, or I’m gonna lose my shit!!

Finally heard it

thought it was a kazoo

[runthebone 7,967]

Hmmm.  Not good

[David Dennison 18,851]

That is so bad.

[dr99 560]

26 minutes ago, Overlord said:

Somebody shut that fucking kid up, or I’m gonna lose my shit!!

You would think the parents would say, "enough kid"

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Dubin needs to go back to making moonshine

[UTexasFight 9,430]

We really gonna have a repeat of July 28, 2020 complete with the same score, aren’t we?

[Gut Wagon 8,065]

There's no excuse for letting a batter as weak as Cavan Biggio keep getting big hits against you. Be better. 

Edited July 28 by Gut Wagon