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Shit I have seen in the subway

Vertigo

By Vertigo
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Vertigo

Vertigo 20335

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I was visiting New York for work last week and my boss decided he wanted to go to a baseball game while we were there. He hooked us up with some great seats for Mets V Nationals right behind home plate. On the way home, there was a big crowd of people all crammed into the subway once the game ended. My boss lives in Atlanta, and is almost the stereotypical southern gentleman so he stood in the subway to give his seat to another lady. He found himself pretty much face to face with this lady who just randomly started talking about how hard it was to find a good man in the city, and that they were all douchebags, etc. Typical New York ice breaker? 

Naturally my boss seized on the opportunity to tell her to look outside New York, and that men are different outside the city etc. She asked where he was from and he told her Atlanta. She then says "Oh I hate the south, everyone in the south is so backwards and intolerant." Well, this set my manager off in a way that I have never seen before. The conversation quickly devolved into a shouting match between two people trying to prove how tolerant they were by calling the other a bigot. It was truly amazing theatre. It got so heated that they had to be separated and the woman went and stood on the opposite end of the train for the remainder of the trip. 

 

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Spankytoes

Spankytoes 1743

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1. If she's not pregnant or disabled, you sit your ass down in your seat and pretend that she doesn't exist. Only get up if it's been 5 seconds and no one else has already offered up their seat. I don't care if she's a 10. She's not going to sleep with you.

2. Wear headphones, avert your eyes at all costs and never, under any circumstances, talk to anyone on the subway. Ever

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TornACL

TornACL 7722

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2 hours ago, Spankytoes said:

2. Wear headphones, avert your eyes at all costs and never, under any circumstances, talk to anyone on the subway. Ever

This is what cracks me up when I occasionally take the TRE commuter train in D/FW. Motherfuckers here will sit down next to you and just strike up a conversation right off the get go. "Woo! How about this heat, at least it's good and cold in here! Where ya headed?"

Whenever I hear that shit, I think to myself that those people would get straight up murdered if they did that on a NYC subway.

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21935

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When I lived in Manhattan I worked very odd hours and would often ride the subway home after 2:00 am.  That's when you really see some weird shit.  Being from Texas, I brought all my handguns with me to New York (fuck their gun control laws) and was always carrying one with me when I rode the Subway that late. I never had any trouble so I didn't have to pull a Bernard Goetz while I lived there (that happened while I was living there).  I never got caught carrying either

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achooloco

achooloco 1086

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10 hours ago, Spankytoes said:

1. If she's not pregnant or disabled, you sit your ass down in your seat and pretend that she doesn't exist. Only get up if it's been 5 seconds and no one else has already offered up their seat. I don't care if she's a 10. She's not going to sleep with you.

2. Wear headphones, avert your eyes at all costs and never, under any circumstances, talk to anyone on the subway. Ever

wait, i think we're in agreement all around but you're saying get up for a non-preggars, fully able, non-elderly woman if no one else has after 5 seconds? Gotta respectfully say, I disagree. Although to be fair, elderly is a relative term.

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Stunns38

Stunns38 3559

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In Nyc, I’ve seen:

 

A homeless man shit on the train

Tons of dudes puke on themselves, esp the PATH train

Dude surfing(riding on outside)on an outdoor train to Coney Island

A lady passed out right into my arms on the N train to Astoria. I caught her but was pissed she caused a 30-min “sick passenger” delay.

Saw some hipsters bring a couch onto the G train in BK.

Rode the train during the no underpants day. Disgusting bodies and nice chicks asses too.

A huge rat ran across my foot.

Someone getting cursed out was a regular occurrence.

A stench of a homeless man that I could never forget. You could smell him a block away. Train Cars are empty for a reason.

Asians(everyone) on the 7train push on to the crowded train just like Japan. Can’t wait for the next train 2 mins away.

The L train is comical.

Got stuck in a “brand new” subway elevator with my daughters and wife for 30 mins.

 

That’s all I got. No murders or sex witnessed...well, maybe fingering if that counts.

 

 

 

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Spankytoes

Spankytoes 1743

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wait, i think we're in agreement all around but you're saying get up for a non-preggars, fully able, non-elderly woman if no one else has after 5 seconds? Gotta respectfully say, I disagree. Although to be fair, elderly is a relative term.


Hell no. Only after 5 seconds for those 2 classifications and no one else has. I am Southern after all
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Washpark

Washpark 176

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A few experiences

A man shoot up assuming herorin on the BART.

A man smashed a women’s face and shattered the plexiglass on the DC metro

Human feces on the BART

I passed out and was kicked off the LIRR for the last stop. 

Someone getting their phone stolen on the nyc subway 

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