Work Time Waster

[Washpark 176]

For reasons outside of the company's control, I was hired into a role that now can't have me do my job for the next 6 to 12 months. I was told informally just look busy. 

I need to find ways to kill time and look busy. I have my own office but only requirement is that I need to be in the office most days 8 - 5. 

What are the best ways to kill time / not go crazy while doing nothing? I have already taken up 2 hour lunches. I fly to nyc at least once a month for 1 hour investor meetings so probably will add int'l bs travel to my schedule.

[CooterBrown 18004]

First, why the fuck didn’t you post this on company time?

[deadshank 24652]

You're off to a good start being here

[Washpark 176]

4 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

First, why the fuck didn’t you post this on company time?

Because I flew 5 hours round trip for a lunch meeting that I slept in the bathroom for half of it.

 

[RoundRobin 828]

How do you feel about jacking off at work?

[TexArcher 37767]

And not in the bathroom.  Do it at your desk like a man.

[Longboard Horn 40296]

Youtube always helps. Also, you're getting paid to do nothing, that's awesome!

[Bud Davis 13]

Tube socks?

[Pato del Muerto 52485]

You could ask to do other work...

[Surly Bevo 24908]

Your company hiring?

[Flg8rfan 201]

Had a guy who basically went into his office, closed the door, and spent the rest of the day downloading porn and trying to hook up via chat with women telling them his wife had died (didn’t) and other shady shit.

This was years ago, he was bypassing our proxies using AOL for broadband for his connection. I only caught him because he was killing the offices bandwidth.

That was a lot of fun explaining/showing what he was doing to an elderly HR person. He kept his job (smh).




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[FartingMonk 3606]

Fortnite

[Twizzler 161]

You don't need advice. You're just bragging.  

 

[Quagmire 2147]

Youtube always helps. Also, you're getting paid to do nothing, that's awesome!

You’d think, but it probably gets boring after awhile, and day goes by slow

[Whitman 694]

I would go nuts having to come in without a defined purpose.  If I were you, I would come in and catch up on the news for an hour or so over coffee, and then either start taking classes online for some type of masters, or start a side business.  At a minimum, learn a new language.  If they don't need you for 6-12 months, maybe they don't need you and you will be moved out later on.  I wouldn't want someone who I was looking to hire to explain they did nothing for 6 months...

Your other options are surfing porn or spending your entire day posting in CR with some of the loons.

Edited July 21, 2018 by Whitman

[CooterBrown 18004]

I normally don't do shit but if I was in your boat where you're told not to do anything, I would find a side gig I could do from my office. Double dip on some income for six months.

 

[Jerry Callo 8698]

Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

[Rockwell Torrey 1280]

https://top5ofanything.com/

[Washpark 176]

I did order a red stapler.

I learned this morning from my exec team that I will have 2 more direct reports starting in the next few months. 

I am thinking side hustle. 

[52-80 19147]

Male Cam whore

[bschoolprof 6252]

have you tried the politics board?  Tons of insight being shared there.  

Edited July 21, 2018 by bschoolprof

[Prepuce of Doom 21053]

Have you completed every quiz on Sporcle? 

[tx ind 7007]

Just pick up a nice day drinking habit for the next few months

[Washpark 176]

2 minutes ago, tx ind said:

Just pick up a nice day drinking habit for the next few months

my boss does have a small booze stash in the work kitchen

[SimonBolivar 10957]

https://basketball-gm.com 

[Surly Bevo 24908]

55 minutes ago, Washpark said:

I did order a red stapler.

I learned this morning from my exec team that I will have 2 more direct reports starting in the next few months. 

I am thinking side hustle. 

Wait....you ARE hiring people to work for you and not do shit?  Man where do you work?

[FartingMonk 3606]

how much extra cash you got floating around?  Scope out bulq.com and you can buy shit in bulk and then resell it on ebay.

[Wiler77 1566]

4 hours ago, Whitman said:

If I were you, I would come in and catch up on the news for an hour or so over coffee, and then either start taking classes online for some type of masters, or start a side business.  At a minimum, learn a new language. 

This is pretty solid advice.  It's going to get really boring.

Maybe day trading, although that can be risky.  Or catch up on your reading list.

I like Whitman's suggestions the best.  Learn a language and take some classes online.

[Humpy 112]

Hire a sexretary to bang.

[MillerEP 30447]

On really slow days, I download audiobooks on my phone, and pop in headphones and stare at work websites and things while my eyes glaze over and I listen to the books. Since it's on my phone I'm off the company network (untrackable) and if anybody walks by they only see work-related stuff on my screen and I don't have to look suspicious alt-tabbing everytime somebody walks by. 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Whitman is right. Classes. Learn something new.

[FartingMonk 3606]

your office has a door and blinds right?  lock the door and sleep

[DoobieWah 1435]

Or write a book. 

JK Rowling is a "B"illionaire. 

[MUNCHIES 0]

https://geekprank.com/hacker/

[Dolemite 143]

Teach yourself how to program with Java or Python or C++ etc. Or learn a foreign language, Spanish etc.

[Deej 76755]

If you haven't figured out how to look busy at work by now, I don't know what to tell you.

[skipperj 377]

I work from home, fuck off a lot, take a lot of naps. I’ve been promoted twice in the last 7 months. 

[butthurt 1522]

I have wasted several hours on www.geoguessr.com

[PilotsError 2286]

Bubble Blaster

 

http://bubbleblaster.us/

[Horns1 41]

You could always catch up on the TPS reports. Use a red stapler to staple the reports together.

[Mole 4330]

I vote for professional development (learn a new skill) and/or side hustle.

It reminds me a little of this story that's too long to post here: https://sites.google.com/site/forgottenemployee/

 

[After irth 1243]

3 hours ago, Mole said:

I vote for professional development (learn a new skill) and/or side hustle.

It reminds me a little of this story that's too long to post here: https://sites.google.com/site/forgottenemployee/

 

Bravo for posting that brilliant piece of work. Well done, sir. 

[Footballpants 121]

Look for another job, work on a side-hustle, or (if you like the company your working for) tell someone of authority about the fact that you have some bandwidth and want a meaningful project.

I'm sure it seems cool that your having nothing to do at work, and your immediate supervisors apparently dont give a shit, but you are vulnerable. Someone, somewhere is going to identify this inefficiency and could have your role eliminated.

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[Parliament 14244]

I'm pretty sure OP is messing with us, but if not...
Ask your manager what you should be doing in this transition. If it really is "nothing," tell him you plan to use the time to do EVERYTHING you can do to prepare for your new role (when it actually starts) and network within the company.

Doing absolutely nothing will rot your brain and you'll really struggle when the job starts. So take it the other way. Work so hard you'll find yourself looking forward to it.

[Mac8111 2106]

[Stoogey 219]

[chesthair 231]

You sound very much like a guy that works for me.  Is your name Mark?  I have been trying to fire you for years...you dont do shit around here.

[El Diablo 4232]

This same thing happened to me years ago. The company was being shopped and our Director was not wanting to start any new projects. He provided cover, told a couple of us to stay out of sight and out of mind. I was in R&D/engineering. The time passed quicker than I thought it would. Sucked that they needed us to remain on site just in case there was a meeting where we might have to attend but we suffered thru it. It would have sucked more if I had been alone all that time.

Edited July 23, 2018 by El Diablo

[Jhawk 1075]

I take it you are probably working on a project that isn't ready for launch yet.  If so, the right answer is porn or some sort of individual project, like woodworking at your desk.  The long term play is to build a business plan with everything that will need to be done on the project that is going to launch in 6 months.  A well thought out plan could have the project done under budget and ahead of schedule.  That might get you a raise or promotion.  Even if you don't know all the parameters of the project yet, you can still build and be prepared for various scenarios/needs.

But porn is much more fun.

[You don't know me 1161]

Are the Bobs there yet?