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Aquaman

Patrick Bateman

By Patrick Bateman
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satyanash

satyanash 14484

Posted
Posted (edited)

Good God, I can't believe I saw this dreck.

 

- Amber Heard can't act. At all. Between her and Khal Drogo there's very little good acting in the movie.

- They repeated the 'emotional moment interrupted by an explosion' trope about ten times.

- Are you kidding me with the Pitbull song? Should have left then and there.

- Very predictable and bland plot. Bad guys want to start war. Good guys want to stop war, and succeed.

Edited by satyanash
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Neonmoon

Neonmoon 38129

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Posted
21 hours ago, Colonel Sanders said:

Just saw it.  Think G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra meets Pacific Rim with the cheese factor of Krull.  Fucking horrible.

This is pretty spot on analysis. I just saw it. Although I wouldn’t go so far as to say “fucking horrible”. I think kids will really like this movie. But yeah, it’s over the top corny. I was laughing at the movie, not with...many times. 

To be fair, I enjoyed the Atlantis CGI and the mega CGI battle at the end.  

Amber Heard can’t act. It’s distracting. So was the power ranger Black Mantis sequence. Just atrocious. 

Mamoa is okay. He’s not a great actor either, but he kind of works for this role. 

All in all, it’s pretty shitty, but if you have kids and or smoke weed, it will be enjoyable.

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ajax

ajax 2611

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Posted

DC needs to learn how to let the movie breathe. Everything being  bombast non-stop makes the movie going experience really tiring. 

And DC needs to learn how to develop their characters. I know more about Hawkeye's wife rom her few minutes in Age of Ultron than I do about Mira after watching her the whole movie. That's Amber Heard in case you forgot her name.

Still Aquaman is the best DCEU movie. I'm not counting Nolan's films or Watchmen. Actually its about on par with Wonder Woman.

 

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hayden_horn

hayden_horn 11362

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39 minutes ago, ajax said:

DC needs to learn how to let the movie breathe. Everything being  bombast non-stop makes the movie going experience really tiring. 

And DC needs to learn how to develop their characters. I know more about Hawkeye's wife rom her few minutes in Age of Ultron than I do about Mira after watching her the whole movie. That's Amber Heard in case you forgot her name.

Still Aquaman is the best DCEU movie. I'm not counting Nolan's films or Watchmen. Actually its about on par with Wonder Woman.

 

there's a decent movie in that mess somewhere. probably two, in fact. dc does this thing where they shove too many bad guys into a movie. we didn't need black manta. and your first sentence is spot on about letting a movie breathe.

i actually kind of like what they've done with the idea of aquaman. they've made him way more interesting than ever before, with the hard drinking, fisherman/dock worker type as opposed to the milquetoast original character who sucks. at least this aquaman has an edge to him.

but dc cannot help but overstuff the box with characters, the result of which is static characters about whom we really don't know that much.

 and i guess static characters is dc's big problem in general. marvel's characters have a wonderful complexity about them. they are far more human even in their superhuman-ness, if that makes sense.

aquaman is basically superman of the water. not only can he call fish, but he's invulnerable. ultimately, that's not interesting. 

think about how beaten up ironman looks at the end of those movies. thor is an actual fucking god, but he's still vulnerable, you feel. those characters are gritty. you sort of get the feeling that's what the dcu is trying to do with aquaman, and it works, to a degree. he does have an edge. but everyone else sucks. even thanos has his reasons. but i don't even remember the bad guy's name. he's a sputtering rage machine. that's it. that's not interesting, any more than revenge-seeking black manta. he doesn't have any time to develop. he could have been saved for an eventual sequel. he didn't really belong.

but yeah, there's a decent movie in that package, like i said. but what i saw was not it. 

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Neonmoon

Neonmoon 38129

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7 hours ago, Michael Knight said:

that scene where hes explaining to amber heard who that black guy was and why he wanted to kill him reminded me about the "why did cunth kill your wife" scene from macgruber

If that was the scene where they’re sitting on the edge of the boat? They both deserve razzie nominations for that scene

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Drew

Drew 2408

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Posted

I liked it more than Wonder Woman(but it was close).  Once again, Surly needs to relax a bit.  It is what it was, will make a ton of money, and didn't suck.  Closest to a fun Marvel movie they've gotten IMO.

 

Yes Amber Heard sucks at acting...but once again, not the reason she's in the movie, and she plays the part just fine.

 

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Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman 3913

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On 12/26/2018 at 11:52 AM, hayden_horn said:

there's a decent movie in that mess somewhere. probably two, in fact. dc does this thing where they shove too many bad guys into a movie. we didn't need black manta. and your first sentence is spot on about letting a movie breathe.

i actually kind of like what they've done with the idea of aquaman. they've made him way more interesting than ever before, with the hard drinking, fisherman/dock worker type as opposed to the milquetoast original character who sucks. at least this aquaman has an edge to him.

but dc cannot help but overstuff the box with characters, the result of which is static characters about whom we really don't know that much.

 and i guess static characters is dc's big problem in general. marvel's characters have a wonderful complexity about them. they are far more human even in their superhuman-ness, if that makes sense.

aquaman is basically superman of the water. not only can he call fish, but he's invulnerable. ultimately, that's not interesting. 

think about how beaten up ironman looks at the end of those movies. thor is an actual fucking god, but he's still vulnerable, you feel. those characters are gritty. you sort of get the feeling that's what the dcu is trying to do with aquaman, and it works, to a degree. he does have an edge. but everyone else sucks. even thanos has his reasons. but i don't even remember the bad guy's name. he's a sputtering rage machine. that's it. that's not interesting, any more than revenge-seeking black manta. he doesn't have any time to develop. he could have been saved for an eventual sequel. he didn't really belong.

but yeah, there's a decent movie in that package, like i said. but what i saw was not it. 

I align with a lot of this post.  It actually has the core of an entire trilogy which it tries to stuff into one bloated storyline which makes the character development thin.  The dialogue is hilariously bad as it makes Mamoa's AM into a dim bar fly.  I can get behind an anti-hero or hesitant, but don't make him a moron.  Wan just overstuffs this movie with way too much shit going on which detracts from the entire experience.  It's really crazy to look at (even though a child's lens) but it's not a very cogent movie.  I think they should have gone this way:

Movie 1:  Make it more of a artifact retrieval movie so he can find/free his Mom from a terrible fate.  Make it more of Indiana Jones feel with the obvious watery affects as he searches for the special trident so he can free his mother.  We don't need Black Manta in this one.  We can hint at him or see how AM unintentionally creates his fury and pending wrath.  In fact, he could have had a much cooler tease in the after-credits, but we don't need him fully realized yet.  Arthur is brought back by Mera and gets hesitant support from Orm to save their mother.  This allows you to meet all the major players from Atlantis and gives them some character development before but concentrates the movie on Arthur's family and Mera to give them a multi-dimensional relationships.

Movie 2:  This is the Black Manta movie.  Having unintentionally created Black Manta by previously unintended actions.  Teach AM accountability for his actions and it gives the audience time to understand BM's rage and fury.  Give Manta his pound of flesh but letting him kill someone (maybe his father?  Maybe his mother?) close to Arthur and then we also see an evolving hero as in the last act he triumphs but ultimately kills Manta (who has a son) rather than save him.

Movie 3:  This is the Ocean Master or Orm movie.  Arthur isn't king yet and doesn't want to be but when his brother, who has an arc over the 3 movies of becoming disillusioned with humans and our treatment of the oceans, he forges alliances and therefore rebellion to takeover the Atlantis' Kingdoms.  Arthur after trying to reason with his brother and almost murdered comes back and saves Atlantis.... therefore announcing his presence as King of Atlantis to the world.

Wan tried to do all 3 of these movies into one..... poorly.  That written, kids are going to love this movie because it's so fucking silly and it's already grossed 600 million worldwide.  It should cruise to 850-900 million and has a good chance at a billion.  To give context, it's probably going to do more in worldwide box office than any solo Marvel movie other than IM3 and Black Panther.  It's going to do more than Wonder Woman.  There are already rumors they have green lighted Aquaman 2, so it has an audience.... a big one.

 

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Viper

Viper 12109

Posted
Posted

saw it yesterday, it was ok, but I didn't really find myself getting into it. I kept thinking how it seemed a mashup of bits from marvel movies.

Spoiler

 

You had the mother lost in a secret realm for 20 years saved by the hero ala Antman and the Wasp

The brothers fighting for the kingship ala Thor

The idiot prince seeking to be worthy of the kingship also like Thor

The hidden kingdom with an outside claimant challenging the king ala Black Panther

The bad guy motivated by his murdered father ala Thor 2, and Black Panther

Even the end credits with toys was kind of a copy Antman and the Wasp and the later Marvel movies

and also, was Aquaman's father Jango Fett?

also also underwater lava? what?

 

 

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5211

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Oh brother you missed so much

Spoiler

Jango Fett had a samoan son with long hair and mean scowl??

Mera is a fucking clone of scarlett johansen, down to the color of hair.  Has to be why she was cast because she is turrible.

The Kaiju at the end

Green Goblin stolen

3 80's movie montages

King Kong '78 Dun dun dun sound

This movie ripped off so many other movies I was chuckling to myself throughout.  I fucking loved it.

Best movie I saw this year.  First time since probably Rogue One I didn't find myself wondering what time it was and if it was close to over.

It was the cheesiest 80's superhero comedy movie with full CGI in HD.  And it was fucking great.  So glad I read about it here first so I had zero expectations going in.

Edited by mulletpelini
oopsie
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Buzzrock

Buzzrock 14920

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Posted

Saw it today with the family. That was one big dumb loud movie. But kudos to them for making something pretty entertaining about the most laughable superhero. I felt like it was derivative of about 12 other movies.

Amber’s acting didn’t bother me. She is an absolute smokebomb. And how much Botox has Nicole Kidman had? Her face doesn’t have one wrinkle.

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TexasEd

TexasEd 8066

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Posted

My wife took me to this.  It was bad.  Could have been cut in half and made a better movie.  Toning down some of the gimmick technology stuff like the pro/con analysis in one scene and a few others would have let the audience get into the movie instead of forcing so much "that's not credible/possible" analysis.   I felt like leaving about 3/4 through.  Nicole Kidman was the highlight and Jango Fett appearance was nice too.

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