Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - A Panoply of Dipshits, Running Amok

[Plorant 895]

4 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Question moving forward….why would you ever sign a punter not from pro kick Australia or the portal? Why would you sign a HS recruit

Tariffs

[Dark Horse 2408]

Didn’t know Helobious was giving foot jobs too

[Red Five 41618]

Kind of interesting to sign Kern's replacement while we're still playing. Awkward.

[Zhorn96 1834]

this libel of Helobious's efforts is getting to be too much.  HE ONLY GIVES HANDJOBS TO DEFENSIVE TACKLES.  None of this punter shit.  You fuckers need to show him some respect

[Texas Flood 1381]

@Helobious has the technique down

 

[kevwun 16360]

If Kern shows up wearing a black face shield and never takes his helmet off while averaging 5-10 more yards per punt in a week, no one question it.

Edited Friday at 05:47 PM by kevwun

[Hiphopopotamos 21158]

2 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Kind of interesting to sign Kern's replacement while we're still playing. Awkward.

Kern can RS next year, get healthy, then try again in 2026.

[Longhornlove 5153]

2 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Kind of interesting to sign Kern's replacement while we're still playing. Awkward.

What other option is there?

[Frank Drebin 5826]

8 minutes ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

Counterpoint: Isaac Pearson

He averaged 44.1 yards per punt for SMU

[Newy25 7896]

3 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Kind of interesting to sign Kern's replacement while we're still playing. Awkward.

Not as awkward as a shanked 25 yard punt from him. 

[kevwun 16360]

Yeah, they might try to sell him on that if they think he can get better.  Or he can transfer and they'll find another portal guy next year.

[Dbeasy 15532]

10 minutes ago, Fondren & Main said:

What kind of lotion do you use @Helobious?  Seems like it's yielding great results!

[Newy25 7896]

1 minute ago, kevwun said:

Yeah, they might try to sell him on that if they think he can get better.  Or he can transfer and they'll find another portal guy next year.

He fucking sucks. They can sell him on you were lucky to be on scholarship this long. 

[Red Five 41618]

1 minute ago, kevwun said:

Yeah, they might try to sell him on that if they think he can get better.  Or he can transfer and they'll find another portal guy next year.

Wondered if this might send Kern to the portal before we're done, if there are potential suitors for him. 

[HtownHorn 15243]

Just now, Newy25 said:

He fucking sucks. They can sell him on you were lucky to be on scholarship this long. 

He was fine before the injury, of course the offense was running up and down the field and he was barely used.

[HenryJames 67136]

14 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Question moving forward….why would you ever sign a punter not from pro kick Australia or the portal? Why would you sign a HS recruit

College Football Special Teams Punting All Conferences Stat Leaders, 2024 Season - ESPN

[Hiphopopotamos 21158]

 

[boilerhorn 1608]

2 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

He was fine before the injury, of course the offense was running up and down the field and he was barely used.

 

7 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Kern can RS next year, get healthy, then try again in 2026.

Perhaps that's why Bouwmeester was chosen over Crimmins (Purdue).  Crimmins has 2 years left.  Bouwmeester has 1.

[General Specific 3486]

I guess I don’t understand what the argument is. Is it- this degree is worth an easy show up job in big time corporate America or is it- this should be pretty easy to monetize a little fame into a comfortable 6 figure living if you played but didn’t star at UT? 
I think anyone that played and had a modicum of name recognition at UT should be set for 6 figures a year for life trading on that fame if they aren’t a screw up (mortgage, real estate, insurance, car sales, regular run of the mill sales, coaching football at the high school level etc) but those are jobs you actually have to do to get that money, even if the fame gets you in the door and the opportunity. And when I say fame I don’t mean VY level fame or even chance mock level fame, I’m talking Beau Trahan type fame. Tucker Dorsey seems like a good analog. 1 year for UT. Played a decent amount, was known, but not even a starter. He got recruited in personally to Keller Williams, went on some pods where he got advertised and I’m sure he’s doing ok. I’d think any kind of professional services/sales job would be like that for a Texas athlete. Thats my world and what I’d do if an athlete wanted entry to that. I know you have a ton of irons in the fire and I’d assume you would do similar for anyone that had interest in one of your worlds, right? 
Beyond that I don’t understand what people are trying to say.  Being quasi famous, even when narrowcasting, is obviously a good thing for a lot of jobs/opportunities/places. 

[General Specific 3486]

Didn’t know Helobious was giving foot jobs too

Foot jobs, not hoof jobs! Sorry, maybe next year.

The management.

[Helobious 9786]

I’m still pulling for us to get more transfers even if it means I’m subjected to handjob jokes every time we get a commit. In a way that makes me the truest Longhorn fan on here. 

[Newy25 7896]

11 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

He was fine before the injury, of course the offense was running up and down the field and he was barely used.

We pay players now. He is worse than the median Texas high school punter. I’m not going to spend any energy worrying about what happens to him if we sign a punter. 

[Ricky's one-hitter 9611]

14 minutes ago, Frank Drebin said:

He averaged 44.1 yards per punt for SMU

...in his 3rd year of cfb, despite being a 34 yo coal miner from Pro Kick when we got him. I was responding to the idea that we should only get xfers or Pro Kick prospects moving forward, and my point is that the latter are still college freshman that are not a reliable take either. 

[General Specific 3486]

Hold on a sec, let’s not ahead of ourselves, you have many many miles of dick to go before displacing South Austins mom!

[BlackCat 492]

5 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I’m still pulling for us to get more transfers 

We know keep up the good work 

[Ricky's one-hitter 9611]

It's going to be awesome when Kern hits the portal before the playoffs and we find out Ewers is an NFL caliber drop kicker.

Don't need to read coverages to kick the ball.

[Wulaw Horn 19563]

9 minutes ago, General Specific said:

I don’t know. I don’t even understand what people are arguing about. Was trying to figure that out because my nature is if I read 3 pages of invective back and forth I want to understand what people are saying, but that’s the part of me my wife describes as spectrum adjacent, so whatever. 

[Blackcat00 767]

This board lives on the spectrum 

[Red Five 41618]

7 minutes ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

It's going to be awesome when Kern hits the portal before the playoffs and we find out Ewers is an NFL caliber drop kicker.

Don't need to read coverages to kick the ball.

Didn't Manning punt in high school?

[Hookem2147 21967]

Gerry made a comment this morning that he wasn’t sure Georgia was super involved with Eric Singleton Jr. anymore. Sounds like Auburn and Ole Miss are the primary completion.

[closetojumping 65327]

10 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I don’t know. I don’t even understand what people are arguing about. Was trying to figure that out because my nature is if I read 3 pages of invective back and forth I want to understand what people are saying, but that’s the part of me my wife describes as spectrum adjacent, so whatever. 

If it helps, I wasn’t sure what in the fuck you were trying to say as you waded in either. 

[Tex-19 3009]

45 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

Was he talking about two different people, because the visit was yesterday, which was not Saturday.

Turns out we got him.

I read it as "I will talk more about Jack's visit this afternoon because an announcement is coming by then"

[BurntOrange&White 41699]

20 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I’m still pulling for us to get more transfers even if it means I’m subjected to handjob jokes every time we get a commit. In a way that makes me the truest Longhorn fan on here. 

be sure to wear eye protection

[Bodacious Bevo 3687]

The really fun part of the arguments about the value of a degree vs. name recognition for Maalik is that it completely ignores the single most important factor in the entire deal: what the guy actually wants to do 

Please shut the fuck up about it 

Edited Friday at 06:21 PM by Bodacious Bevo

[Drew 2823]

So...we have a punter? And a Good one?

Too bad we can't use now.

[Wulaw Horn 19563]

3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

If it helps, I wasn’t sure what in the fuck you were trying to say as you waded in either. 

Well that’s funny. I could explain for 10 paragraphs what I meant in excruciating detail, but will go against type, chuckle and move on. If it’s you against Linux or 52 I will assume you have the right of it, but none of it made sense to me either way. Too black and white I thought.

[South Austin 53158]

3 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

You've got over 20 million in savings and aren't retiring? I'm not going to question your life choices, even though I have questions. But I am going to question your lack of Burnt Ends and Tree Fiddy swag on your profile, you chincy fuck. 

Psst, his Corvette is leased.

[Tex-19 3009]

This Brad Spence guy who's visiting seems like an underrated intriguing option. Only a Soph and good numbers at Arky. From Klein Forest. 

edit: he had a sack against UT this year too

Edited Friday at 06:35 PM by Tex-19

[Chips O'Toole 1438]

23 minutes ago, Blackcat00 said:

This board lives on the spectrum 

If there is a way to merely vacation on the spectrum, I will award you $9.95.

[TexasRenegade 2610]

4 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

You've got over 20 million in savings and aren't retiring? I'm not going to question your life choices, even though I have questions. But I am going to question your lack of Burnt Ends and Tree Fiddy swag on your profile, you chincy fuck. 

[closetojumping 65327]

2 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

This Brad Spence guy who's visiting seems like an underrated intriguing option. Only a Soph and good numbers at Arky. From Klein Forest. 

I’m thinking that’s what we’re going to wind up with - a bunch of Norton types that can play and be productive but aren’t going to win any awards. If a true difference-maker joins the portal party, maybe Texas tries to win a bidding war for one of the three or four spots. There is the same notion as last year that a few guys at different positions are earmarked  for Texas if they jump in, but they have to jump in. 

My view is that 3-4 guys of Spence’s production level would be great anyway. 

[Noozak 415]

26 minutes ago, Blackcat00 said:

This board lives on the spectrum 

Yeah and it's this one

 

[Scholz 12303]

58 minutes ago, Dark Horse said:

Didn’t know Helobious was giving foot jobs too

*Toejobs

[closetojumping 65327]

4 minutes ago, TexasRenegade said:

I can’t figure out which Scrooge is my favorite. I really like the classic George C. Scott version from the early 80’s. Then there’s Mickey’s Christmas Carol. I played Ebenezer in that version in 5th grade. Scrooged is really well done and Bill Murray is excellent. Then there’s Spirited, which I highly recommend. 

[TXpride 606]

10 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

This Brad Spence guy who's visiting seems like an underrated intriguing option. Only a Soph and good numbers at Arky. From Klein Forest. 

Hopefully it's a sign we're not taking the LB from AZ with a torn ACL. Wish the kid luck.. just somewhere else.

[Scholz 12303]

59 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Kind of interesting to sign Kern's replacement while we're still playing. Awkward.

[Tex-19 3009]

Just now, closetojumping said:

I’m thinking that’s what we’re going to wind up with - a bunch of Norton types that can play and be productive but aren’t going to win any awards. If a true difference-maker joins the portal party, maybe Texas tries to win a bidding war for one of the three or four spots. There is the same notion as last year that a few guys at different positions are earmarked  for Texas if they jump in, but they have to jump in. 

My view is that 3-4 guys of Spence’s production level would be great anyway. 

I'd be good with that. Yeah Spence seems like a very solid 3rd LB behind Hill/Lefau and with 2 years of eligibility, he could possibly develop into something more which is big with Hill likely going pro after this year. 

The Purdue TE seems similar. Another Soph with good P5 production, maybe not a 1st round type but likely to be a solid contributor immediately and the has time to develop further. I like this kind of take.

(Obvious disclaimer: I haven't watched any of these guys, just going off stats, etc)

[Newy25 7896]

3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I can’t figure out which Scrooge is my favorite. I really like the classic George C. Scott version from the early 80’s. Then there’s Mickey’s Christmas Carol. I played Ebenezer in that version in 5th grade. Scrooged is really well done and Bill Murray is excellent. Then there’s Spirited, which I highly recommend. 

Bill Murray for the mother fucking win. 

[Drew 2823]

Still watch Scrooged from time to time.

[Ricky's one-hitter 9611]

5 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I can’t figure out which Scrooge is my favorite. I really like the classic George C. Scott version from the early 80’s. Then there’s Mickey’s Christmas Carol. I played Ebenezer in that version in 5th grade. Scrooged is really well done and Bill Murray is excellent. Then there’s Spirited, which I highly recommend. 

Michael Caine and Ms Piggy or gtfo