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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!


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On 1/29/2025 at 12:34 PM, Dbeasy said:

I think Texans know the real original definition of glory hole, but thank you for those that are living under a rock. The point being that the urban dictionary definition has made a strong surge in recent years and it always creates an uncomfortable situation when he says it. Good grief. Why did I just have to explain that. 

I grew up in oil country in Texas, and this is the first I've heard of the term meaning anything other than a place you stick your dick in going all the way back to the 1970s.

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2 minutes ago, BurgleBro said:

How does this DL transfer haul compare to last years?

Norton was a freaking godsend.  One of the most clutch players on the team down the stretch.

Last year we thought Norton was a one-note space eater and Lole was a lottery ticket to have much impact given his injuries. Ironically Savea in some ways seemed like the best pickup.

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2 hours ago, Rimbo said:

I grew up in oil country in Texas, and this is the first I've heard of the term meaning anything other than a place you stick your dick in going all the way back to the 1970s.

Reminds me of the park next door to a place we rent in Colorado every summer.  
 

 

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Edited by Frank Drebin
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12 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Thanks Deloss, for setting up 15 years of Texas revenue sports that sure didn't feel that way.

I'm hardly a fan of the guy. But starting the Longhorn Foundation and making this quote are the two contributions I'm grateful for.

Other than that he set up a culture that did a lot of harm. The way I always described it is the people in the athletic department got their job security from raising money, not winning football games. They wanted the football team to win a few more games so they could go out and raise a few million more the next year, not the other way around, and that was a serious culture issue that led to us whoring the program out worse than any other program out there in many regards. 

But the fact is when he was hired the athletic program was a poor in ways we can't even begin to fathom now. We depended on having the Texas legislature wrapped around our fingers for making capital improvements., Coaches weren't really paid competitive salaries compared to market rate. Every program was responsible for fundraising themselves. 

It wasn't the only reason, but one of the reasons David McWilliams was hired after Fred Akers is because he was willing to come to Texas for cheap. We couldn't afford a big name coach. John Cooper inquired about the opening before he ever took the Ohio State job and said, "I'm getting paid more here at Arizona State."

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5 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

He also said winning all the time is bad for the kids. So money > winning to him. 
 

There were also administration issues. The chancellor and president were anti football. They wanted Texas to be a first rate research institute and they saw being a football factory as detrimental to those efforts. It's amazing how effectively we were chopping ourselves at the knees, while all the regional competition had a win at all costs mentality. 

Dodds figured out he could make his job security all about how much money he raised. And so he did. 

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1 hour ago, BurgleBro said:

How does this DL transfer haul compare to last years?

Norton was a freaking godsend.  One of the most clutch players on the team down the stretch.

My recollection is that the guys last year were backup plans after we whiffed or got outbid on higher profile targets. Obviously it worked out OK. The guys this year seem like they were higher priorities from the get go.

Whether that ends up meaning anything or not remains to be seen, of course. 

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37 minutes ago, SL Xpress said:

There were also administration issues. The chancellor and president were anti football. They wanted Texas to be a first rate research institute and they saw being a football factory as detrimental to those efforts. It's amazing how effectively we were chopping ourselves at the knees, while all the regional competition had a win at all costs mentality. 

Dodds figured out he could make his job security all about how much money he raised. And so he did. 

Any AD that was AD of Texas would have made money going from 90s to 2000s. Dodds overall was dog shit.

Edited by BurntOrange&White
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5 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Any AD that was AD of Texas would have made money going from 90s to 2000s. Dodds overall was dog shit.

Maybe so. But while it seems obvious in retrospect to start the Longhorn Foundation, tie donations to seat priority, and make donation money available across all sports, he's still the first one that did it. He also started the move to suites before any other program as well. And that took some level of vision because we went into a lot of debt to do it. 

But yes, I do agree with your point. 

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47 minutes ago, SL Xpress said:

Maybe so. But while it seems obvious in retrospect to start the Longhorn Foundation, tie donations to seat priority, and make donation money available across all sports, he's still the first one that did it. He also started the move to suites before any other program as well. And that took some level of vision because we went into a lot of debt to do it. 

But yes, I do agree with your point. 

Let's be clear here. It's not that he was the first person at Texas. He was the first person anywhere.

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8 hours ago, BlackChicken said:

Remember Jerry jones at copper tank back in the 90s. That was his constant state 

What was the name of the bar around the corner from Copper tank that stayed open till 4 AM? They weren’t supposed to serve after two (but did). I remember Jerry being absolutely plastered in there with a couple college age girls hanging on him. Was one of my first real life intros to how much it doesn’t matter how old or unattractive you are if you’ve got a ton of money.

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4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Kickers need more finesse than anything that, allegedly, Helobious can provide. @BurntOrange&White has DM’d me multiple times that he’s happy to be on deck for the team if a gentle ball gargler is needed. It might be time to call him up. 

Nah, sounds like we just need an on-staff massage therapist

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7 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

You’re too humble. I get it. I, too, often shrink from the limelight of center stage in an effort to give others their moment. 

I can’t allow it here though, so I’ll let everyone see your true Longhorn patriotic commitment to the cause with the text of your last DM:

“I only regret, that I have but one mouth to give for my team’s roster. “

You're not going to Justin Tucker me! I do not consent to this!

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What was the name of the bar around the corner from Copper tank that stayed open till 4 AM? They weren’t supposed to serve after two (but did). I remember Jerry being absolutely plastered in there with a couple college age girls hanging on him. Was one of my first real life intros to how much it doesn’t matter how old or unattractive you are if you’ve got a ton of money.

Abrattos
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5 minutes ago, Handcruser said:


Abrattos

CSB, my old roommate was the main door guy and made an extra $100 every night from the coke dealer who parked in or near the restrooms.  
 

He also used to grab any ID’s that he could use personally (claiming they were fake) and then sign up for credit cards with them.  

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Texas didn’t have a DL coach for a big part of the cycle last year. That played a role. 

Oregon took the UH guy with fuck you money and then Venables went nuts for Damonic Williams. That guy needs DTs the way Catholic priests need Jesus. He’s like SuperHelobious. 

 

This gives me pause the same way when one of my friends answers a question "does the pope suck dick?"

Well...I'm not sure which direction you are going with that.

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2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Texas didn’t have a DL coach for a big part of the cycle last year. That played a role. 

Oregon took the UH guy with fuck you money and then Venables went nuts for Damonic Williams. That guy needs DTs the way Catholic priests need Jesus. He’s like SuperHelobious. 

Texas also had signals from people around both Michigan DTs that they were thinking about entering the portal. 

All of that led to activity in the second window that felt sort of “meh” to everyone. Of course, just like the cycle for the 2023 season, there were a few crybabies on here who bitched about NIL letting the program down at DT and predicting the program’s near term demise accordingly. 

Kickers need more finesse than anything that, allegedly, Helobious can provide. @BurntOrange&White has DM’d me multiple times that he’s happy to be on deck for the team if a gentle ball gargler is needed. It might be time to call him up. 

We could call up Angus McGonagle for that.

 

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1 hour ago, futureman said:

from three til midnight?

Actually, daylight tour which was pronounced daylaught tower back in the day. Got me into primo shape. I earned maybe my favorite job title ever: iron-rattlin' motherfucker. 

Worked out of Odessa on a rig near Sterling City.

I know you're referring to a song or something, but it triggered pleasant memory.

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1 hour ago, Mittens said:

I was 1st in line at the light on 5th & Trinity as Jerry crossed over from whatever the junior version of Abratto's was on the SW corner.  I distinctly remember thinking that I'd go to jail, but I could do something great for humanity, and America's Team, at that moment.  Still feel shame that I didn't have the balls to mash the right foot.

 

You could have gone with: It's not my fault officer, I was drunk! And it's Jerry Jones.

Chances are, the investigating officer is a Cowboys fan. Okay, son. I'm letting you off with a warning this time.

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28 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

Actually, daylight tour which was pronounced daylaught tower back in the day. Got me into primo shape. I earned maybe my favorite job title ever: iron-rattlin' motherfucker. 

Worked out of Odessa on a rig near Sterling City.

I know you're referring to a song or something, but it triggered pleasant memory.

I always wondered why Tour Sheets, the daily log of activity on a rig, are pronounced "tower sheets". Maybe it comes from this.

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15 minutes ago, Teamdirtyleg said:

I always wondered why Tour Sheets, the daily log of activity on a rig, are pronounced "tower sheets". Maybe it comes from this.

Yea. I heard "tower" and assumed the word referred to the derrick. After a few months, I saw a schedule that made it clear. I opted not to correct anyone on this.

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Am I remembering correctly that the deadline to enroll passed this week, so no more transfers until spring?

I’ve been in trial (yes, another fucking lawyer) and have tried to stay up to date on this thread, but have probably missed something in my skimming.

Don’t get wrong, I like fantasizing about murdering Jerry Jones as much as anyone, and it’s fun to watch CTJ and BO&W flirt like early seasons Ross and Rachel. But are we expecting any actual transfer news any time soon?

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4 minutes ago, Park Gothic said:

Am I remembering correctly that the deadline to enroll passed this week, so no more transfers until spring?

I’ve been in trial (yes, another fucking lawyer) and have tried to stay up to date on this thread, but have probably missed something in my skimming.

Don’t get wrong, I like fantasizing about murdering Jerry Jones as much as anyone, and it’s fun to watch CTJ and BO&W flirt like early seasons Ross and Rachel. But are we expecting any actual transfer news any time soon?

There are ways to still enroll, just requires some signatures from specific school deans. That does have a timeline though. It's usually a week or two past normal deadline.

Edited by BurntOrange&White
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1 hour ago, Park Gothic said:

Am I remembering correctly that the deadline to enroll passed this week, so no more transfers until spring?

I’ve been in trial (yes, another fucking lawyer) and have tried to stay up to date on this thread, but have probably missed something in my skimming.

Don’t get wrong, I like fantasizing about murdering Jerry Jones as much as anyone, and it’s fun to watch CTJ and BO&W flirt like early seasons Ross and Rachel. But are we expecting any actual transfer news any time soon?

Be patient. We're in the last coupla days for Spring semester enrollment. Once that's finito, it's probably gonna be quiet until well into spring practice and guys finding out they aren't going to be starting anytime soon and looking for a better situation. Most of those aren't going to be targets for us. A few players are going to be unhappy with coaches, and at least some of those may be of interest.

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