Jump to content

Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Handjob Helobious Is the Man!


Recommended Posts

Guys, you'll be shocked to know that someone has slipped into my DMs to call me a meanie. I'm not goint to say who, becuase that would be mean and I don't want to be known as a meanie online. But it's super serious and they wanted me to know I'm a little person on the internet and they're super succesful and an actual graduate from UT, which apparently I'm not. 

I might need a hug. And some more lube for this dildo. Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article A dildo, never MY dildo

Sorry, I felt you needed to know.
  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

Ah, resorting to personal attacks and homophobic slurs. The true sign of a poster with the intellactual horsepower to handle criticism and think critically. 

I also enjoyed your unintentional self-owns, which of course you wouldn't know typing, becuase you seem to be that breed of poster that talks more than takes account of the actual posters on the 995 board, what they've said, and what they've done. 

It's spelled logorrhea, not "logarehia" you fucking twat. And yeah, the unentiontal comedy of ME allegdly shitting on someone else for posting a lot, as well as having to correct their spelling, is high fucking comedy. You won't get it, but everyone else here will get it. 

Until I saw the non-edited post quoted where the dildo comment was made, I didn't understand where the "homophobic slur" reference was pointed. I read your quote of his 3 times trying to understand what I was missing. "Great, is there some new way of using an old word that I now have to stop using?" Phew. 

27 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Guys, you'll be shocked to know that someone has slipped into my DMs to call me a meanie. I'm not goint to say who, becuase that would be mean and I don't want to be known as a meanie online. But it's super serious and they wanted me to know I'm a little person on the internet and they're super succesful and an actual graduate from UT, which apparently I'm not. 

I might need a hug. And some more lube for this dildo. Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article A dildo, never MY dildo

You might as well be kicking the old guy's walker out from underneath him. Just put him on ignore and he can verbally vomit all over this board with impunity as the septuagenarian version of spyder2yguy. Trust me, it's an easy fix.

16 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Can any one person really own a dildo? I thought all dildos were common property in the trust tree? 

I'm not sure about the dildo part of this as I'm admittedly happily inexperienced, but I do know I apparently feel this way about sunglasses and umbrellas, as I seem to lose 20+ of each product to the public domain each calendar year. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Until I saw the non-edited post quoted where the dildo comment was made, I didn't understand where the "homophobic slur" reference was pointed. I read your quote of his 3 times trying to understand what I was missing. "Great, is there some new way of using an old word that I now have to stop using?" Phew. 

You might as well be kicking the old guy's walker out from underneath him. Just put him on ignore and he can verbally vomit all over this board with impunity as the septuagenarian version of spyder2yguy. Trust me, it's an easy fix.

I'm not sure about the dildo part of this as I'm admittedly happily inexperienced, but I do know I apparently feel this way about sunglasses and umbrellas, as I seem to lose 20+ of each product to the public domain each calendar year. 

Fun context I've learned, the gentleman in question claims not to be old, but 51. 

And in a follow up has asked for my help in deleting their account. 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

 I do know I apparently feel this way about sunglasses and umbrellas, as I seem to lose 20+ of each product to the public domain each calendar year. 

 

 

 

CTJ - in full sartorial splendor, and with his favorite accoutrements - summering in Galveston ... 

 

image.png.bad391d7fb7bc8f5c159e0c7b4aed8f2.png

 

 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

Guys, you'll be shocked to know that someone has slipped into my DMs to call me a meanie. I'm not goint to say who, becuase that would be mean and I don't want to be known as a meanie online. But it's super serious and they wanted me to know I'm a little person on the internet and they're super succesful and an actual graduate from UT, which apparently I'm not. 

I might need a hug. And some more lube for this dildo. Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article A dildo, never MY dildo

Nice Fight Club reference, sir. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I think Ztejas is like 29. Helobious might be like 25, which explains his inexhaustable energy for tug jobs. 

Are you drawing those conclusions because they're 2 of the most idiotic posters on this site? They're not idiots due to inexperience. They're idiots because they've got room temperature IQs. At least Helobious is entertaining with his absurdly stupid takes. 

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

Are you drawing those conclusions because they're 2 of the most idiotic posters on this site? They're not idiots due to inexperience. They're idiots because they've got room temperature IQs. At least Helobious is entertaining with his absurdly stupid takes. 

I met ztejas once at a tailgate dropping of beers for Immamac, and I think I've seen stuff referenced elsewhere. 

But make no mistake, in no way was I suggesting their idiocy is based on inexperience. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I met ztejas once at a tailgate dropping of beers for Immamac, and I think I've seen stuff referenced elsewhere. 

But make no mistake, in no way was I suggesting their idiocy is based on inexperience. 

Was he the guy wearing pleated blue jeans?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Jesus Christ was only 33. I doubt there is a poster on this site younger than JFC.

 

16 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I think Ztejas is like 29. Helobious might be like 25, which explains his inexhaustable energy for tug jobs. 

As much as I’d like to distance myself from those 2, I’m 31

  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article A dildo, never MY dildo

Never, ever say the dildo accidentally turned itself on.

A dildo activated itself and created an emergency situation that required evacuating your DMs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...