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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Pato Del Muerto Steps Up With Blowjobs, Helobious Is Giving Out Handjobs For DTs

closetojumping

By closetojumping
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Teryor
Teryor

Need their depth chart at WR but also HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

CashMcCoy
CashMcCoy

Spence is in  

Ricky's one-hitter
Ricky's one-hitter

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Elmer_Fudd

Elmer_Fudd 22,956

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3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

In thinking about Monday and the portal this cycle, several things are similar to last year. 

1) Texas allegedly has a group of "targets" who have made it clear that they're entering the portal and are interested in Texas, or plan on just straight joining Texas. 

2) Brandon Harris is still right in the middle of handling the portal efforts and setting expectations on all sides. 

3) Texas is really committed to landing DT help. 

Accordingly, I am managing my expectations about all of the shit starting to float out there, both in regard to what could be coming UT's way and who could be heading elsewhere. 

To add on to some of your points, Gerry said today he's waiting on 3-4 DL to enter the portal that Texas will have interest in.

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Elmer_Fudd

Elmer_Fudd 22,956

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1 minute ago, Best served cold said:

The big 350# RS freshman D-lineman (Samu) from aggie just declared he was going to portal out. Anyone believe we'll have interest? He was overweight in high school, but he seemed to be pretty athletic. Idk how much he played this year

Who do they have for DL/EDGE next year?  DJ Hicks and Rylan Kennedy?  Would think Turner, Scourton, Stewart are gone.

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Getafix

Getafix 29,374

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Posted (edited)

 

On Barion Brown and Dane Key, some basic stats below.

The order of the years (22/23/24 up/down) is reversed for the guys - but note the significantly opposed trends.

- In '24, both have stats for 11 games, so not like Brown's been out a bunch of games.

- There could be contextual factors not captured - opposing defences ... ahem, keying on Brown, or injuries - but in the same offense and w/ the same QB, would be tough to explain away the large deltas in performance.

 

 

image.thumb.png.3cb26110b8ae17904cebe2e66c4b08c0.png

image.thumb.png.e73ba4b13a2d9f2574e79534edf3bf5b.png

Edit:  Barion Brown's Returning/Scoring Stats

image.thumb.png.8cacd916e400fad722e961eb482d0219.png

 

 

 

image.thumb.png.516b522ca29580906b69fd1b37ae4938.png

image.thumb.png.a3ecfc9499aaa771dc77a3c87dac277b.png

 

Edit:  Dane Key's scoring stats

image.thumb.png.671a4a5c3974cc97178addd6c4fb1ee1.png

 

 

Edited by Getafix
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Best served cold

Best served cold 159

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9 minutes ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

Who do they have for DL/EDGE next year?  DJ Hicks and Rylan Kennedy?  Would think Turner, Scourton, Stewart are gone.

Dealyn Evans and Jadon Scarlett are Freshmen, Albert Regis, Enai White, and Boadi-Owusu are the only ones left that may have gotten any run this year. There isn't much left at this point that I see for the interior. I'm not sure about the EDGE as they don't differentiate them other than being DL.

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Hiphopopotamos

Hiphopopotamos 21,158

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Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, Best served cold said:

The big 350# RS freshman D-lineman (Samu) from aggie just declared he was going to portal out. Anyone believe we'll have interest? He was overweight in high school, but he seemed to be pretty athletic. Idk how much he played this year

He played 2 snaps this season.   Sorry - thats 2023

He played 20 snaps this season.  He was their highest rated DL in very limited snaps per PFF.

Edited by Hiphopopotamos
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Hiphopopotamos

Hiphopopotamos 21,158

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4 minutes ago, Rickylovesweed said:

Key is the best WR in the portal IMO. He will go off in a good offense.

Not sure if true but it wouldn't surprise me if PFF had Key as a top 5 WR in the SEC this year. He's that good but has been limited by QB play and a terrible offense.

Graded 23rd in FBS and 5th in SEC.

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MuellerHorn

MuellerHorn 4,607

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4 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

Can’t ibe of our firl aiccer players kick?

 

1 minute ago, Best served cold said:

Are you having a stroke??

Must be on the Spider2YBanana Xanax + THC gummy / mushrooms experience.

Edited by MuellerHorn
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closetojumping

closetojumping 65,246

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6 minutes ago, Best served cold said:

Dealyn Evans and Jadon Scarlett are Freshmen, Albert Regis, Enai White, and Boadi-Owusu are the only ones left that may have gotten any run this year. There isn't much left at this point that I see for the interior. I'm not sure about the EDGE as they don't differentiate them other than being DL.

Scarlett was part of the 2022 class, so he can’t be a freshman. White is almost certainly gone. Hicks is there, he’s good and he played a lot. Regis might be going pro. I don’t know who Boadi-Owusu is. 

4 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

He played 2 snaps this season.

The guy is giant tub of goo. I cannot imagine, given how terrible their S&C appears, and how far so many of their players have gotten, that they managed to help the biggest lard ass on the roster lose weight. 

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Elmer_Fudd

Elmer_Fudd 22,956

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7 minutes ago, Rickylovesweed said:

Key is the best WR in the portal IMO. He will go off in a good offense.

Not sure if true but it wouldn't surprise me if PFF had Key as a top 5 WR in the SEC this year. He's that good but has been limited by QB play and a terrible offense. 

 

Take it FWIW, but saw on SEC Rant that his gf plays softball at Georgia and that's where he's headed with Tennessee as the other option.

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MonkeyDoughnut

MonkeyDoughnut 10,762

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Give me Key over Anderson or Brown. There have been rumors for awhile that if Anderson went in, Texas would be interested. I don't know if that is true, and if it is, how much of it is driven by pettiness. 

Key definitely tops. I still wonder how bad Anderson's injury was/is.  Sounds like he might need surgery or extended time for things to fully heal.  That's not necessarily a portal WR Texas needs to mess with.

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HenryJames

HenryJames 67,116

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1 hour ago, Best served cold said:

The big 350# RS freshman D-lineman (Samu) from aggie just declared he was going to portal out.

Will he fit?

4 minutes ago, BornAndRaised said:

I can’t scroll up to find who said Nic Andersen wants away from the Sooner medical staff, but one of their 995ers basically confirmed it on twitter.

Maybe they used United Healthcare.

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Post Oak

Post Oak 20,551

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33 minutes ago, BornAndRaised said:

I can’t scroll up to find who said Nic Andersen wants away from the Sooner medical staff, but one of their 995ers basically confirmed it on twitter.

 

 

Is he saying he's headed to Texas? I don't speak sooner.

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Longhornlove

Longhornlove 5,136

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5 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

Sarcastic Joke GIF

I didn't say they were good offers but yes, he had other offers. I suppose you are denying that. If I recall, you were one of the ones wanting him run off along with the two secondary coaches. Not surprised you would respond if that is the case. In any case I'm going to hunt down any posts.

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UncleSonny

UncleSonny 6,790

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1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

Is that what good looks like to you? 

Not that I don’t enjoy it, but sometimes your commitment to the asshole bit makes it seem like you are missing some obvious jokes. 

Unless I’m the one missing an obvious joke. 

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Rimbo

Rimbo 26,853

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16 minutes ago, Longhornlove said:

I didn't say they were good offers but yes, he had other offers. I suppose you are denying that. If I recall, you were one of the ones wanting him run off along with the two secondary coaches. Not surprised you would respond if that is the case. In any case I'm going to hunt down any posts.

Yeah, they weren't... well, they WERE good schools. But not great football teams.

I don't recall ever wanting him run off. If you find posts where I said as much, lemme know.

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closetojumping

closetojumping 65,246

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Kyron Hudson, WR, from USC is in the portal. They’re not happy about it. Dude isn’t a burner, but he’s a pretty damned good college WR. 

17 minutes ago, UncleSonny said:

Not that I don’t enjoy it, but sometimes your commitment to the asshole bit makes it seem like you are missing some obvious jokes. 

Unless I’m the one missing an obvious joke. 

One of us is missing a joke, that’s clear. 

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Funk Doctor Spock

Funk Doctor Spock 13,121

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12 hours ago, Hermanator said:

What do we take?

RB - only if the staff feels Baxter won't be ready? Or if they are looking to push Blue out to the portal?

WR - 1 if a super productive guy is there and they feel Golden is leaving for the NFL

DT - 3 have to replace the entire interior defensive line. 

TE - 1 unless they feel confident Niblack and Jordan Washington can take huge steps. 

CB - 1 if a Barron replacement is available

LB - 1

OL - maybe a guard if a surprise productive guy enters?

1) I can only see them taking a RB if he's a stud, rather than scrambling like this year with Gardner. Like, say, one of the backs from Bama (Richard Young/Justice Haynes)

2) WR probably 2 if they're the right guys (hopefully that kid from NC State and someone else from an elite school)

3) DT for sure, but those are unicorns. Maybe they take a flyer on Near Alexander (I dunno if he's too much poison), but yeah, I have faith they'll find at least 2

4) TE I doubt just because we have Shannon. Washington, Randle, hopefully Niblack is back, and Townsend is a freak who will play early 

5) I think we have plenty of DBs who c a n fill the Barron role, even if they're young. Kobe Black has looked really good 

6) LB we have Hill. Lefau, Barnes, Gullette, and Simmons can drop back like he's been doing. Maybe they'll try and make Akana a  LB since he can't seem to put on the weight needed for Edge, so you may be right about taking the right one

7) OL we seem to have some dudes like Hutson at center, Campbell at RG. Goosby LT, Baker RT, Neto LG, and we have more in the pipeline like Cruz Kibble (who has apparently looked great), Chatman, Cojoe, Stroh, Agbo, and it shit goes south we have the incoming class (God forbid if we have to play any of them) 

These are just my personal guesses

9 hours ago, HtownHorn said:

I think he will test well and go in the 5-7 rounds on those numbers alone. He's a 3rd down back in the NFL, and likely cut if his ball security issues continue.

 There's absolutely no way Blue is going pro with his fumbling issues. The guy, for whatever reason, canmot seem to grasp the concept of using both arms to hold the ball when going down. He'll either transfer, or he'll be a role player. Imo. 

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Teryor

Teryor 4,965

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16 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Kyron Hudson, WR, from USC is in the portal. They’re not happy about it. Dude isn’t a burner, but he’s a pretty damned good college WR. 

One of us is missing a joke, that’s clear. 

Word seems to be that they might have a full on exodus at the skill positions, I'll believe it when I see it but obviously we have the inroads with Duce

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Professor Chesney

Professor Chesney 685

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Posted (edited)
40 minutes ago, Teryor said:

Might be of interest in pulling back to us

 A little concerning he spent a year in a rural southern town and didn’t gain any weight…

Nevermind he is actually 294, thanks for the correction folks.

Edited by Professor Chesney
Weight gain
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