Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Pato Del Muerto Steps Up With Blowjobs, Helobious Is Giving Out Handjobs For DTs

[HtownHorn 15243]

10 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

OB with a few portal notes

  Reveal hidden contents

A few things to get started...

1. From what I can gather, the Texas Football program is treating its Portal business with significant urgency as we head into the weekend, but there are some complications in this first week of Portal action that are beyond the control of Steve Sarkisian and Co.

a. The NIL market for good, but not great players has definitely left those on the 40 Acres with a bit of pause. As I've mentioned a few times this week, a player like Georgia Tech wide receiver Eric Singleton is reportedly generating NIL offers in the neighborhood of $1.5-2.0 million after catching 56 passes for 754 yards and 3 touchdowns this season. One Texas source told me this week that they think Singleton is a really good player, but they have a half-dozen players at the wide receiver position (including newly signed recruits) that they wouldn't trade for the chance to land Singleton. It speaks to the decline of the talent available in the early stages of the Portal when compared to the talent that was available 12 months ago. "We can’t do that and keep this team together," one source said this week.

b. Texas will not spend wildly for good players. Too much work will need to be done on the retention side in the off-season and the Longhorns know that there will be harsh consequences within their own locker room if they overextend for players that might not even start for them and then have to turn around and take care of players already on the roster that are better players.

c. There is more cash available in the marketplace from more teams than we've ever seen before. More money + More teams with money + Less quality talent = Less than desirable marketplace for a program like Texas.

d. Expect some of the biggest names in the Portal to enter in the final days/hours of the Portal window. For the teams that they might have reached an agreement with behind the scenes, keeping them hidden as late as possible will potentially keep other schools from hijacking the deal. Just something to keep in mind.

2. Everyone knows that significant help is needed within the interior of the Texas defensive line. I was told that the Longhorns would sign at least 3 defensive tackles in the Portal last week and that number might be even higher with the departures at the position this week. It's not a great place to be in for a number of reasons, as the representatives of the talent at the position that is available will look at holding the Longhorns over a barrel, knowing that the Longhorns have such a major need.

3. Former Kentucky nose-tackle Keeshawn Silver is likely to land a 7-figure NIL deal for a one-and-done season. USC and Florida are the main two schools pushing the pedal to the metal in this recruitment. This is the going rate for a guy that finished this season with a single tackle for loss.

4. Texas is not going to pay crazy money for good, but not great players on the current roster. It's very possible that the only All-SEC players that will return in 2025 from this season are soon-to-be-juniors Anthony Hill and Tre Wisner, along with All-SEC freshman Colin Simmons. There's a sense that Texas has already paid a number of players more money than anyone in the country is currently paying players and there won't be an urge to pay non-elite players at a level of elite-level players.

5. The Longhorns are hoping to finish off the recruitment of Purdue tight end Max Klare before the end of the weekend. There's a strong sense that this could get done. Stay tuned.

6. One school that is prepared to spend elite dollars for non-elite players is Texas A&M. "They gotta do what they gotta do," one source said. "There's no turning back for them once it starts."

7. If you're wondering whether the Longhorns will be a factor in rhe Portal recruitment of USC wide receiver Duce Robinson, the early word is that Georgia and Nebraska could be the favorites.

8. Pretty sure the Longhorns are not involved with Georgia transfer cornerback Julian Humphrey. Houston received a visit today and it looks like Texas A&M will get a visit tomorrow.

9. Thought I would pass this note along for those of you that enjoy Oklahoma misery. "They are so cooked," a source said. "I think they are about to enter their Charlie Strong stage. Or worse. Charlie won 5 games. I'm not sure they get there in 2025."

10. USC is a team to keep an eye on with Arizona linebacker Jacob Manu, although Arizona is hopeful that they can lure him back in with a substantial NIL offer.

 

This is a whole bunch of nothing.

[texifornia 58737]

Just now, closetohumping said:

I can only think of three teams that could use a qb and have that sort of NIL fundage:  USC, PSU and maybe Oregon. 

Again, you're talking about a Tweet from a random misspelled account like it's some kind of real thing

[Funk Doctor Spock 13116]

5 hours ago, Fud said:

 

Serious question - 
 

Is the Purdue TE better than Sharp? If you don't know, that's cool. I've just heard the Purdue TE was awesome, and Sharp was a good TE, too. 

[Js1 86888]

2 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

This is a whole bunch of nothing.

That’ll be $9.95. Thanks

[Funk Doctor Spock 13116]

5 hours ago, MuellerHorn said:

This is like a run on the banks or lemmings following lemmings.

Everyone on that team is worried about next year being absolute stank ass. Combine that with a staff that completely ignores the relevance or importance of NIL, and this is what you get.

Sure would be a shame if Fasusi asked out of his NLI.

It's 4:19 pm CT and... 

And Barry Switzer had a complete meltdown

[Hornius Emeritus 12775]

23 minutes ago, Not a cat said:

Ohio state?  Ummm, that would be very interesting.  I can't even begin to imagine the hype for that game.  Of course, I also can't imagine someone paying him 4mm.

Well, unlike Ryan Day, he knows how to beat Michigan.

[General Specific 3483]

Again, you're talking about a Tweet from a random misspelled account like it's some kind of real thing

Come on man, it’s the internet, it’s true. And Heliobius is now a GM and raking in the $ with his picks right! Right?

[Helobious 9752]

I signed up for “this” site in 2011. I wonder what I would’ve thought if someone came up to me then and said “you know one day there’s going to be over 5 pages in a thread on here about you giving handjobs for defensive tackle transfers”. 

[BurntOrange&White 41591]

1 minute ago, Helobious said:

I signed up for “this” site in 2011. I wonder what I would’ve thought if someone came up to me then and said “you know one day there’s going to be over 5 pages in a thread on here about you giving handjobs for defensive tackle transfers”. 

You using speech to text? 

[runthebone 8322]

What if someone had told you that 13 years later, the Yankees still wouldn't have won a World Series?

[theaveragejon 1104]

6 hours ago, Josef Pwag said:

OU's Recruiting Coordinator would like a word:

 

How in the ever loving fuck did this team beat Alabama? 

13 minutes ago, runthebone said:

What if someone had told you that 13 years later, the Yankees still wouldn't have won a World Series?

Helobious would still be cracking off twenty somethings 

Edited Friday at 04:16 AM by theaveragejon

[pacman 7484]

21 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I signed up for “this” site in 2011. I wonder what I would’ve thought if someone came up to me then and said “you know one day there’s going to be over 5 pages in a thread on here about you giving handjobs for defensive tackle transfers”. 

You got a pretty mouth..

[Zhorn96 1833]

1 hour ago, Texasborn91 said:

Don’t care. Got arch. 

But but but he’s only a 3 star in reality!  Ags are never wrong about these things

[RGBIII 23009]

27 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I signed up for “this” site in 2011. I wonder what I would’ve thought if someone came up to me then and said “you know one day there’s going to be over 5 pages in a thread on here about you giving handjobs for defensive tackle transfers”. 

Save those typing thumbs, we don’t need blisters on them yet 

[chiu1040 113]

Both USC and Florida On3 mods said Keeshawn Silver (Kentucky DT transfer) is asking for 7 figures. Florida apparently offered him well below that so it might come down to USC vs Michigan. 

We don’t know exactly how much Justus Terry is getting, but that seems to be a better investment than the price for Keeshawn Silver.

[Zhorn96 1833]

28 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I signed up for “this” site in 2011. I wonder what I would’ve thought if someone came up to me then and said “you know one day there’s going to be over 5 pages in a thread on here about you giving handjobs for defensive tackle transfers”. 

At least it’s DTs and not like a punter or tight ends. DTs give you street cred.  Not gonna lie, I’m a little jelly

[Funk Doctor Spock 13116]

11 minutes ago, chiu1040 said:

We don’t know exactly how much Justus Terry is getting, but that seems to be a better investment than the price for Keeshawn Silver.

This man here is spitting truth 

[Ghost of Shag 2722]

We must be really confident about DTs entering the portal.

[theaveragejon 1104]

2 minutes ago, Ghost of Shag said:

We must be really confident about DTs entering the portal.

The hand of Helobious is on our side. 

[Rimbo 26846]

5 hours ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

 

 

 

5 hours ago, Huckleberry said:

I'm not willing to do as much as Helobious but I will continue making smartass posts on the internet if it helps. 

 

 

3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

The guy didn’t actually go into the portal. Same shit with Blue a year or two ago. 

They wanted to keep Mitchell, but they weren’t going to match past NIL deals. Apparently he saw the light that no one was going to match that. The guy has progressed in the last two months. Maybe they get something out of him.

 

nonononono I saw that scene in Monty Python's "Meaning of Life."

Spoiler

 

59 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I signed up for “this” site in 2011. I wonder what I would’ve thought if someone came up to me then and said “you know one day there’s going to be over 5 pages in a thread on here about you giving handjobs for defensive tackle transfers”. 

 

Probably the same thing I would've thought, had it been me: "Again?"

[taybo20 3008]

1 hour ago, Helobious said:

I signed up for “this” site in 2011. I wonder what I would’ve thought if someone came up to me then and said “you know one day there’s going to be over 5 pages in a thread on here about you giving handjobs for defensive tackle transfers”. 

Idk, I signed up in 2012 and I definitely saw this from you 

[cmontexas 3328]

Ohio State makes a lot of sense for Quinn, for numerous reasons and narratives. It would be hard to say no to Oregon after seeing the immediate success Nix and Gabriel had transferring there

[cmontexas 3328]

Oregon probably takes that Washington State dude sooner was counting on though 

[Funk Doctor Spock 13116]

Quinn isn't transferring. He's dead set on the NFL. No inside information, I just think he believes in his mind he's ready, whether he is or isn't. Regardless, that's not our problem anymore. We'll have a 3rd year Arch who is much more suited for Sark's offense. Big, thick, strong arm, accurate, can actually run a QB sneak and not get injured. 

[Victor Lazlo 1811]

24 minutes ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

Quinn isn't transferring. He's dead set on the NFL. No inside information, I just think he believes in his mind he's ready, whether he is or isn't. Regardless, that's not our problem anymore. We'll have a 3rd year Arch who is much more suited for Sark's offense. Big, thick, strong arm, accurate, can actually run a QB sneak and not get injured. 

“No inside information”

[Funk Doctor Spock 13116]

1 minute ago, Victor Lazlo said:

“No inside information”

 

[FCB 57]

8 hours ago, billy_bats said:

FCB reporting that it was a "Helobious handjob" that sealed the deal.

I can neither confirm or deny.

[Coelenterate Fuccboi 13382]

3 hours ago, Helobious said:

I signed up for “this” site in 2011. I wonder what I would’ve thought if someone came up to me then and said “you know one day there’s going to be over 5 pages in a thread on here about you giving handjobs for defensive tackle transfers”. 

If DTs have similar taste in approach, I like the girls with a little shyness to them, before they rip into your pants like it’s Christmas morning.

You can be honest. You would have said, “Where do I sign?!?”

[Hank_Hill 19694]

[Pods 7622]

Sounds like Sydir Mitchell played Helobious. 

[deech 2380]

I feel like this is absolutely the dumbest timeline.  

A random tweet has Ewers wanting to stay another year, being told by Sark that we are going with Manning next year, and then putting feelers out there for transfers.

Someone actually believes this shit?

[52-80 19377]

On 12/11/2024 at 8:40 PM, closetojumping said:

Do you think a bunch of the athletes who actually graduated winding up as realtors and podcasters is a sign of anything? Hint: it's not indicative of millionaires and billionaires randomly paying large sums to them to go to work with them and be buddies.

Also, knowing some of these guys on the player side over the years, randomly, the position you can't let go of here would be insulting to them.

Why are you insulting athletes who became realtors and podcasters? Funny, David Thomas worked in sports broadcasting despite not graduating in Comms.

Simple question: do you think an athlete with the profile of Maalik, has a dependency on a college degree.  You think he will eventually seek a job as a marketing analyst or health counselor, relying on his BS in Psych to get in the door? 

Yes, the academic component is very important to him, that's why he'll have been at 3 different schools in 3 years of study....

For 4/5* athletes, with NIL and Portal, CFB is now is a professional sport in all but name. Stop deluding yourself.

[52-80 19377]

On 12/11/2024 at 5:36 PM, SydneyCarton said:

You: Making blanket statements that every college football player that doesn't make the NFL is only as valuable as his alumni network allows him to be, and has no interest in any kind of education and value of education based on their own goals, ambition, or how they see themselves.

Touchy boy, aint cha? Did a LSU sanitation guy shit on your Comm diploma?

My statement wasnt a declarative ceiling of all players on their goals and ambitions. Its for players like Maalik, whose first, second, and third priority is football.  And is an observable fact that he doesnt value the name on his degree very much if he's bouncing between schools, changing majors, window shopping Oregon State and now fucking Auburn. 

Why you so mad he didn't follow your footsteps

 

[closetojumping 65214]

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

Why are you insulting athletes who became realtors and podcasters? Funny, David Thomas worked in sports broadcasting despite not graduating in Comms.

Simple question: do you think an athlete with the profile of Maalik, has a dependency on a college degree.  You think he will eventually seek a job as a marketing analyst or health counselor, relying on his BS in Psych to get in the door? 

Yes, the academic component is very important to him, that's why he'll have been at 3 different schools in 3 years of study....

For 4/5* athletes, with NIL and Portal, CFB is now is a professional sport in all but name. Stop deluding yourself.

“I’m going to speak declaratively about subject matter in which I have zero background or knowledge. Dummies elsewhere in life have let me get away with it, so why not Surly as well?”

You’re wrong in every facet, and the rest of us are laughing at you. 

[SydneyCarton 49311]

10 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Touchy boy, aint cha? Did a LSU sanitation guy shit on your Comm diploma?

My statement wasnt a declarative ceiling of all players on their goals and ambitions. Its for players like Maalik, whose first, second, and third priority is football.  And is an observable fact that he doesnt value the name on his degree very much if he's bouncing between schools, changing majors, window shopping Oregon State and now fucking Auburn. 

Why you so mad he didn't follow your footsteps

 

You: incapable an answering a direct question and basic reading comprehension.

“I’m not making declarative statements, as I declare that ‘players like Malik’ who I don’t know personally and never have met, aren’t interested in their education in any way. They also won’t need it to get any job.”

I’m not sure I’ve ever consistently seen in my life someone peddling bullshit and then using the phrase “observable fact.” It’s like the choice turn of phrase for dum dums who think they’re smart, and it’s become a tell. It gives me nothing but the deepest Ignatius J. Reilly vibes, as do you 52-80. 
 

[Junior Bonner 6533]

Your Thorpe Award winner… 

[General Specific 3483]

Sounds like Sydir Mitchell played Helobious. 

Dear Penthouse,

I didn’t think it could happen to me….

[Post Oak 20547]

.

11 minutes ago, Junior Bonner said:

Your Thorpe Award winner… 

3 studs

Edited Friday at 12:42 PM by Post Oak

[GlenFromTheMailRoom 1639]

This thread is more of a beating than watching @SydneyCarton try to spell a four-syllable word.

[SydneyCarton 49311]

20 minutes ago, GlenFromTheMailRoom said:

This thread is more of a beating than watching @SydneyCarton try to spell a four-syllable word.

You cnut 

[South Austin 53144]

9 hours ago, theaveragejon said:

How in the ever loving fuck did this team beat Alabama? 

Helobious picked Alabama.

[RomaVicta 30488]

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

Touchy boy, aint cha? Did a LSU sanitation guy shit on your Comm diploma?

My statement wasnt a declarative ceiling of all players on their goals and ambitions. Its for players like Maalik, whose first, second, and third priority is football.  And is an observable fact that he doesnt value the name on his degree very much if he's bouncing between schools, changing majors, window shopping Oregon State and now fucking Auburn. 

Why you so mad he didn't follow your footsteps

 

linux redux

(no grudge for linux) 

[TexasRenegade 2610]

3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Why are you insulting athletes who became realtors and podcasters? Funny, David Thomas worked in sports broadcasting despite not graduating in Comms.

Simple question: do you think an athlete with the profile of Maalik, has a dependency on a college degree.  You think he will eventually seek a job as a marketing analyst or health counselor, relying on his BS in Psych to get in the door? 

Yes, the academic component is very important to him, that's why he'll have been at 3 different schools in 3 years of study....

For 4/5* athletes, with NIL and Portal, CFB is now is a professional sport in all but name. Stop deluding yourself.

And just like the majority of pro athletes the majority will blow through that money and have to find an actual J.O.B. of some kind one day....I mean heck I've got more in savings then NIL is paying players and I'm not retiring to a life of luxury or anything.

 

 

 

[Codaxx 6196]

10 hours ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

Serious question - 
 

Is the Purdue TE better than Sharp? If you don't know, that's cool. I've just heard the Purdue TE was awesome, and Sharp was a good TE, too. 

Sharp was absolutely terrible. He is one of the worst blockers I have ever seen. He looks like he is afraid of contact. He would have never played at Texas, see NiBlack. I just hope Texas gets a TE that is reasonable blocker.

[LebongJames 1900]

Not to derail any further but Quinn doesn’t seem to be interested in the whole college part of college football. I think that drives a lot of his want to go to the NFL. 

[hookemATL 12227]

9 minutes ago, TexasRenegade said:

I mean heck I've got more in savings then NIL is paying players

Paystubs or stfu, rocko

[RockyMountainHighHorn 915]

1 hour ago, Junior Bonner said:

Your Thorpe Award winner… 

Hope this continues so we can get DBU back. 

[SydneyCarton 49311]

22 minutes ago, TexasRenegade said:

And just like the majority of pro athletes the majority will blow through that money and have to find an actual J.O.B. of some kind one day....I mean heck I've got more in savings then NIL is paying players and I'm not retiring to a life of luxury or anything.

 

 

 

You've got over 20 million in savings and aren't retiring? I'm not going to question your life choices, even though I have questions. But I am going to question your lack of Burnt Ends and Tree Fiddy swag on your profile, you chincy fuck. 

[Nivek 17328]

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

You cnut 

[linux 1756]

Johnny Eightball seems to be doing alright for himself and it sure as hell has nothing to do with his degree, just monetizing his fame post pro career flameout.

At the end of the day fame is fame, if you are Diego Pavia you are better off being the most celebrated player in a degree mill than getting a degree from Vanderbilt. 

Assuming exclusive or of course, you can do both and that is his shot.

Edited Friday at 02:50 PM by linux