Johnny (football?) Manziel

[MAUFRAIS 6,642]

He’s a fuckin’ idiot just like me!

[aggie08 21,555]

I, too, would like to acquire nachos.

[TexasMan 10,989]

36 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

 

 

 

 

 

[Tex Pete 20,512]

17 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

yeah, he was so relatable high 

FIFY

[ButtFumble 5,183]

looks like it will soon be cumbackszn

[TrashMaster G 17,628]

1 hour ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

 

 

 

 

Uh-huh.  Nice cover, bitch. 

[RomaVicta 30,032]

I, too, may never play pro football again. This hits close, my brothers, very close.

[TrashMaster G 17,628]

Was using further instead of farther also a slang thing?

[Tex Long 4,450]

Isn't there someone, somewhere trying to get the Senior Football League going?

This has to be Johnny Two Puddin's only shot at touching non-viable balls.

I mean, we all enjoy watching young guys trying to kill one another, right? Right, so why not old guys actually killing one another? Mind you, the League will have to have a strict 30-second limit on removing injured, dead, and dying players from the field of play, but if it's done right there should be ways to make that a Good Thing™ instead of a distraction - say, Free Tacos for a broken spine on a Hometeamer. No penalty for exceeding the time, but restart the game with the Downed Player still on the field; team plays short-handed, can't have sub until removed, but only counts as Off Side if actually participating in the play.

[LW Goatman 1,125]

Tweets seem like a ploy to remind the rubes to buy his shitty szn gear. Smart.

[Funk Doctor Spock 12,525]

13 hours ago, ChiTownDoc said:

It’s a fine line.  Bc blow is awesome.  Luckily I’ve given all that up.  

For real. That shit makes you feel like the greatest superhero. 

[lemonandaturd 4,285]

A drugged up aggy online scholar saying could of, would of, should of is not surprising.  

[ChiTownDoc 21,175]

2 minutes ago, lemonandaturd said:

A drugged up aggy online scholar saying could of, would of, should of is not surprising.  

‘aggy scholar’ 

‘tasty sewage’

[TwiceHorn 31,560]

16 hours ago, TexasMan said:

 

Gratitude, narcissism, and a grammar error all in 280 characters or less.  Impressive.

[Bigbend1812 12,942]

[Landomatic 3,813]

18 hours ago, markstanco said:

Surprised vince McMahon didnt make stoops pick him up for dumbass aggy and ticket sales.

Do I remember hearing the XFL wouldn’t even consider him given his domestic violence and substance abuse?  Can’t remember the details but seems he wasn’t even eligible...even if he didn’t completely suck ass.

[atomheartbevo 89,828]

34 minutes ago, Landomatic said:

Do I remember hearing the XFL wouldn’t even consider him given his domestic violence and substance abuse?  Can’t remember the details but seems he wasn’t even eligible...even if he didn’t completely suck ass.

It was one of them.  I think it was an insurance issue or something.  

[mulletpelini 5,216]

24 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

It was one of them.  I think it was an insurance issue or something.  

because he sells insurance?

[ButtFumble 5,183]

6 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

Tweets seem like a ploy to remind the rubes to buy his shitty szn gear. Smart.

well it would be smart

but John forgot the fucking password and got locked out of it....or maybe what's her face got it in the divorce

https://comebackszn.store/

[Bullneck 19,215]

12 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

 

 

 

 

When LSU grads start correcting your English . . .

[markstanco 12,627]

Do I remember hearing the XFL wouldn’t even consider him given his domestic violence and substance abuse?  Can’t remember the details but seems he wasn’t even eligible...even if he didn’t completely suck ass.

That is too bad. Best aggy ever not getting to play in minor league spring ball.

Vince is missing out on a ton of dumbass fans.

[lemonandaturd 4,285]

15 minutes ago, markstanco said:

That is too bad. Best aggy ever not getting to play in minor league spring ball.

Vince is missing out on a ton of dumbass fans.

I don't think Vince wants to deal with the media fallout when Johnny skips out on the last game of the season, shows up at a floating Mississippi casino in a wig, with a fake mustache and answering to pages as Johnny Freshwater.    

[markstanco 12,627]

I don't think Vince wants to deal with the media fallout when Johnny skips out on the last game of the season, shows up at a floating Mississippi casino in a wig, with a fake mustache and answering to pages as Johnny Freshwater.    

I dont think vince understands aggy. If he was to play for Huston or Dallas he would get more fans. Those dumbass aggies love him.

[Longboard Horn 40,544]

Johnny is a fucking joke. SO glad the XFL didn't even look at him. Still sure that he's the reason the AAF folded.

[brown water 3,778]

VY and JFF have oddly similar narrative arcs. The apex of those arcs is poetically symbolic of the programs they represent. 

[MAUFRAIS 6,642]

I was getting worked up until I read your second sentence.

[Bullneck 19,215]

On 8/4/2018 at 5:25 AM, Goo Punch said:

 

One of my alltime favorites

[Funk Doctor Spock 12,525]

Manziel is too out of shape and regarded to even play in the XFL. He can't read a playbook. He's a functioning regard. 

[pyrohornIII 4,823]

4 hours ago, brown water said:

VY and JFF have oddly similar narrative arcs. The apex of those arcs is poetically symbolic of the programs they represent. 

JFF and VY came from probably as different backgrounds growing up as you can get.    I just can't see your comparison here, other than they are both out of pro football now after less than glorious runs.   

[Auto Driller 2,506]

1 hour ago, pyrohornIII said:

JFF and VY came from probably as different backgrounds growing up as you can get.    I just can't see your comparison here, other than they are both out of pro football now after less than glorious runs.   

VY’s pro career was glorious compared to JFF. As was his college career. And high school.

[demos 3,011]

Manziel is too out of shape and regarded to even play in the XFL. He can't read a playbook. He's a functioning regard. 

But he was the most “lit” player on the field.

(If by lit we mean high)

[Funk Doctor Spock 12,525]

12 minutes ago, demos said:

But he was the most “lit” player on the field.

(If by lit we mean high)

Oh yeah, he was lit on that cocaine. I imagine that's what it takes to make BCS remotely tolerable with those sheep fucking tards surrounding you asking to suck your dick. 

[Dennis Taylor 18,876]

On 2/7/2020 at 11:33 PM, ChiTownDoc said:

It’s a fine line.  Bc blow is awesome.  Luckily I’ve given all that up.  

 

[SimkinsMan 4,421]

Laughingstock.

 

Quote

A year ago, Johnny Manziel signed with the Alliance of American Football after its season had already started. He may want to do the same this year in the XFL.

Manziel wrote on Twitter the if XFL Commissioner Oliver Luck wants him, Manziel will play.

“Oliver Luck,” Manziel wrote. “If ya wanna boost your ratings to another level just send me the contract tomorrow and we’re in there. Like I said YEARS ago… XFL2020 give the people what they want.”

A few hours after tweeting that, however, Manziel deleted his account.

PFT article

 

Edited February 22, 2020 by SimkinsMan

[TexasBuckeye 43]

I thought I heard the last of his name. Why does it continue to pop up? Be done with him, because he is sure done. even if he doesn't believe it.

[demos 3,011]

^ we still have the eventual OD and aggy memorial.

[F250 28,826]

2 hours ago, SimkinsMan said:

Laughingstock.

 

PFT article

 

[Bullneck 19,215]

Who are we kidding.  JFF would be appointment TV watching for me.

[futureman 22,553]

I hope the XFL signs him so michael rapaport can do play-by-play on another of johnny’s highlight videos. 

[Nicole44 22,078]

Manziel returned to Twitter the next day, and he said this: “Have zero desire to play any football these days. Just love stirring up controversy.”
https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2020/02/24/johnny-manziel-returns-to-twitter-says-he-has-zero-desire-to-play-football/

Stay vigil-lit JFF! So no offers huh? Lmao. I love the comments under the article. Especially the one that said he could have announced this before the 2014 draft. Burn. He’s like the Lindsay Lohan of football. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,945]

8 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

Manziel returned to Twitter the next day, and he said this: “Have zero desire to play any football these days. Just love stirring up controversy.”
https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2020/02/24/johnny-manziel-returns-to-twitter-says-he-has-zero-desire-to-play-football/

Stay vigil-lit JFF! So no offers huh? Lmao. I love the comments under the article. Especially the one that said he could have announced this before the 2014 draft. Burn. He’s like the Lindsay Lohan of football. 

That's like me saying I have zero desire to bang Mila Kunis

[smwhorn 483]

Doesn't he sell car insurance now with Tonya Harding?

[Grade of D as in David 13,253]

24 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

Manziel returned to Twitter the next day, and he said this: “Have zero desire to play any football these days. Just love stirring up controversy.”
https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2020/02/24/johnny-manziel-returns-to-twitter-says-he-has-zero-desire-to-play-football/

Stay vigil-lit JFF! So no offers huh? Lmao. I love the comments under the article. Especially the one that said he could have announced this before the 2014 draft. Burn. He’s like the Lindsay Lohan of football. 

Lohan had at least 2 redeeming qualities

[AnTiM 1,670]

Dear JFF:  Please find your mental twin Jussie Smollett, then both of you go jump off the edge of the earth and save the rest of us a shitload of aggravation.

[AnTiM 1,670]

On 2/8/2020 at 8:34 AM, Bozo_Casanova said:

 

Geeze, am I the only one who knows that it's actually "coulda imagined"?

 

 

 

[Nicole44 22,078]

I think that anyone applying for a job should use a variation of JFF's tweets in their cover letter.

"I have zero desire to work these days. When I did work, I was the most lit, most relatable worker to ever do it. Did things my way and made it way further and got fired way faster than I ever could of imagined. Don't bother setting up an interview,  I just enjoy wasting your time."

[Grade of D as in David 13,253]

Perfect caption for under the photo standing next to a tree!

[Chad 1,728]

17 hours ago, Nicole44 said:

Manziel returned to Twitter the next day, and he said this: “Have zero desire to play any football these days. Just love stirring up controversy.”
https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2020/02/24/johnny-manziel-returns-to-twitter-says-he-has-zero-desire-to-play-football/

Stay vigil-lit JFF! So no offers huh? Lmao. I love the comments under the article. Especially the one that said he could have announced this before the 2014 draft. Burn. He’s like the Lindsay Lohan of football. 

Johnny Manziel's desire to return to professional football now matches professional football's desire to have him.

[Pimphand 5,926]

I feel like we need CU Dan Hawkins to narrate Manziel events.

Go play intramurals brother

[Lhorn 4,969]

Publicly begging for a job followed by the sound of crickets is “stirring up controversy?”

Oh Johnny!!! You’re too much!!!