Star Wars Episode IX

[Trey3216 15,382]

4 hours ago, SpiralOut said:

Fair enough.

I don't know anyone that expects Shakespeare from Star Wars, though.  I certainly don't.  I just expect some level of competency beyond absolutely fucking retarded.  The movie was actively insulting in how lazily/poorly it was written.

And honestly?  I can forgive a lot.  A lot.  But then they have to go and take a dump on one of the most iconic characters in movie history.  That's just mean, man. 

 

Payback.  Highly underwatched 

[seven 1,368]

I don't even know why bb-8 driving the whatever is supposed to be offensive 

[atomheartbevo 90,149]

2 hours ago, seven said:

I don't even know why bb-8 driving the whatever is supposed to be offensive 

No kidding.  I have a feeling an advanced robot AI could easily drive an AT-ST, since robots like BB-8 act as nav computers when FLYING AT FUCKING HYPERSPACE ACROSS THE GALAXY.  

For fuck’s sake, we let the elderly drive cars.    

[mdmost 43,344]

I think it was more that BB-8 doing that was kind of prequel-esque looking. Like C3PO in the droid factory in AOTC or R2 lighting the droids on fire in ROTS. 

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

3 hours ago, seven said:

I don't even know why bb-8 driving the whatever is supposed to be offensive 

your word choices in this thread make me think you're trolling, at least mildly

[oSuJeff97 3,435]

On 5/8/2019 at 9:50 PM, longhornmatt said:

Part of the problem is how they treat Kylo’s force power, not just Rey’s.  We are introduced to a guy that stops blasters in mid air and seems to be able to do everything Vader did and more, but by the end of the movie he is struggling to beat Finn in a light saber duel.  And in TLJ he can read minds from across the Galaxy, defeat Snoke and his guards, but then he can’t tell he’s dueling with a hologram.  

They’re all over the place with him swinging back and forth from Super Vader to a clueless dipshit.  Rey should be massacred in 5 seconds by first half of movie Kylo, but should easily defeat end of movie Kylo with a piece of string.

1. He wasn't "struggling to beat Finn." He was injured from taking the Chewie blaster to the side and he was just toying with Finn until he was actually ready to beat him and he beat him in like 2 seconds.

2. "He" wasn't "reading minds from across the Galaxy." Snoke was the one who was doing that.  He manipulated the Force to connect Kylo and Rey. 

3. The "couldn't tell he was dueling a hologram" was more about Luke using a power that nobody had ever seen before. He also fooled Leia and all of the other Resistance who thought he was real.  That's more about showing how powerful Luke was.

4. In the first half of the movie he wasn't trying to kill Rey.  He was trying to capture her for Snoke.

Again, I think these are all nitpicks that you could easily make about inconsistencies in how various powers were used in the OT.  Those inconsistencies just don't bother you because you originally saw those movies when you were young and so you weren't focused on them, just the story.

[SpiralOut 1,867]

3 hours ago, mdmost said:

I think it was more that BB-8 doing that was kind of prequel-esque looking. Like C3PO in the droid factory in AOTC or R2 lighting the droids on fire in ROTS. 

Got it in one.

[Eskimohorn 5,658]

1. He wasn't "struggling to beat Finn." He was injured from taking the Chewie blaster to the side and he was just toying with Finn until he was actually ready to beat him and he beat him in like 2 seconds.
2. "He" wasn't "reading minds from across the Galaxy." Snoke was the one who was doing that.  He manipulated the Force to connect Kylo and Rey. 
3. The "couldn't tell he was dueling a hologram" was more about Luke using a power that nobody had ever seen before. He also fooled Leia and all of the other Resistance who thought he was real.  That's more about showing how powerful Luke was.
4. In the first half of the movie he wasn't trying to kill Rey.  He was trying to capture her for Snoke.
Again, I think these are all nitpicks that you could easily make about inconsistencies in how various powers were used in the OT.  Those inconsistencies just don't bother you because you originally saw those movies when you were young and so you weren't focused on them, just the story.

That’s some mental gymnastics there- “it’s not dumb like that, it’s dumb like this.”Minor details from a 70’s movies vs Major Plot Holes from a big budget movie in 2018.

And save the “we’re kids” bullshit. It blew people’s fucking minds and enabled TLJ to suck shit threw a straw. It holds up and was a tight little movie that turned out great.

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

19 hours ago, oSuJeff97 said:

Those inconsistencies just don't bother you because you originally saw those movies when you were young and so you weren't focused on them, just the story.

or maybe they don't stick out like sore thumbs in the OT because those movies tell coherent, engaging stories instead if just saying "dudes, check it out, MILLENNIUM FALCON!! CHEWBACCA! HAN SOLO!"

the new movies are pandering trash, you just fit neatly into one of the categories being pandered to and don't mind it

Edited May 11, 2019 by SwanderedTalent

[Drew 2,701]

On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2019 at 1:19 AM, mulletpelini said:

Name 10 and you include yourself.

Had this happened before the prank call, I would have lol'd due to knowing now, this movie was gonna suck really, really, fucking bad.  As it was, by the time it happened, I was fully prepared for the Neverending Story tribute and it didn't hit me near as hard.

Go online outside Surly.  You and I both know the groupthink is strong on here, and when someone bucks that, they get destroyed. That's why I don't care to start the debate again.  I mean I already told you you'd hate it since there were no Ewoks.

[Levi 2,624]

I dunno, Reddit is pretty fucking brutal when it comes to TLJ. YouTube is the same way. You’ll find more vids on why it was horrible rather than why it was good. 

[Hate 20,167]

I would rather watch Episode 1 a hundred times than rewatch TLJ. It’s the first Star Wars movie that I didn’t buy within a few days of it being released and I don’t plan to.

[Trey3216 15,382]

2 hours ago, Hate said:

I would rather watch Episode 1 a hundred times than rewatch TLJ. It’s the first Star Wars movie that I didn’t buy within a few days of it being released and I don’t plan to.

Yep.    TLJ may only be better than AOTC when it’s all said and done 

[mulletpelini 5,216]

On 5/10/2019 at 1:37 PM, oSuJeff97 said:

1. He wasn't "struggling to beat Finn." He was injured from taking the Chewie blaster to the side and he was just toying with Finn until he was actually ready to beat him and he beat him in like 2 seconds.

Just like Indy toyed with Admiral Ackbar

[mdmost 43,344]

Bob Iger confirms the Benioff and Weiss Star Wars Trilogy are the next ones after Rise of Skywalker. I certainly hope someone else is writing it. The guys are great at world crafting but not so good at story crafting. 

[Red Five 41,192]

That’s the trilogy that will focus on Rose entirely right?

[Murfdogg21 4,493]

“You see, Palpatine appears here because he kind of forgot about being dead due to Darth Vader throwing him down the shaft. “

[SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3,861]

Disney is in danger of this becoming fast and furious movies, just sort of being made in the background with no real cultural impact.

[Macanudo 13,103]

On what planet is Felicity Jones considered to be big breasted?

[Trey3216 15,382]

On 5/9/2019 at 10:02 AM, Lobo said:

Is the one that tried to eat Lando?  

[ztejas 43,787]

8 minutes ago, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

just sort of being made in the background with no real cultural impact.

Pretty sure TLJ already jumped that shark.

[Red Five 41,192]

6 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

On what planet is Felicity Jones considered to be big breasted?

More so than Rey and Padme.

[ztejas 43,787]

On 5/10/2019 at 1:37 PM, oSuJeff97 said:

Again, I think these are all nitpicks that you could easily make about inconsistencies in how various powers were used in the OT.  Those inconsistencies just don't bother you because you originally saw those movies when you were young and so you weren't focused on them, just the story.

It's not just that there might be inconsistencies or plot holes, it's that they deviate so much from what we've been led to accept or canonize as presented in past films. 

The prequels may have been a vat of rewarmed nacho cheese but at least they crafted a pretty tight world as the setting. They just failed to deliver on the narrative/dialouge/acting part. 

TFA and TLJ craft a word that makes no fucking sense from the beginning and only gets worse, and TLJ sucks just as much when it comes to the actual story being told as any of the prequels did.

Edited May 14, 2019 by ztejas

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

27 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

“You see, Palpatine appears here because he kind of forgot about being dead due to Darth Vader throwing him down the shaft. “

the Disney people were probably like "look, they brought back Darth Maul and people not only tolerated it, they LIKED it, bring back whoever the fuck you want"

[Red Five 41,192]

I think the entire codebreaker/casino planet subplot with Finn and Rose was worse than anything in the prequels. Or at least anything I haven't permanently blocked from my memory.

[Trey3216 15,382]

4 minutes ago, Red Five said:

I think the entire codebreaker/casino planet subplot with Finn and Rose was worse than anything in the prequels. Or at least anything I haven't permanently blocked from my memory.

Yep.  Even 'Jumping Flea Yoda' was more believable/entertaining than that pile of shit rendered on a paper plate 

[alincoln 2,385]

13 minutes ago, Red Five said:

I think the entire codebreaker/casino planet subplot with Finn and Rose was worse than anything in the prequels. Or at least anything I haven't permanently blocked from my memory.

It was worse than just about anything in movie history, particularly relative to expectations.

[SpiralOut 1,867]

11 minutes ago, Red Five said:

I think the entire codebreaker/casino planet subplot with Finn and Rose was worse than anything in the prequels. Or at least anything I haven't permanently blocked from my memory.

And it served literally no point whatsoever.

If Finn and Rose never went to the casino planet and tried infiltrating Snoke's ship, the story doesn't change a bit.  They don't accomplish anything.  Their characters don't grow/change because of their experiences there.  It has zero impact on any of the other characters. 

The only thing it does is put Finn on Snoke's ship so he can have his 1v1 with Phasma.  Which was also just pointless and disappointing. 

[Jersey Man10 3,666]

Haha yeah if they had just stayed put the result would be the same. Hell that thief dude would still be alive (assuming he died).

[mulletpelini 5,216]

Bullshit, how were we going to get "That's how we're gonna win.  Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love."  without these two going off and getting in some trouble together.  Do you fucking guys even know anything about Star Wars? smh

[oSuJeff97 3,435]

On 5/14/2019 at 2:02 PM, Red Five said:

I think the entire codebreaker/casino planet subplot with Finn and Rose was worse than anything in the prequels. Or at least anything I haven't permanently blocked from my memory.

Yeah.... go rewatch every single Anakin/Padme scene in Episode II and get back to me.

[Red Five 41,192]

I’d rather have those scenes stitched to the insides of my eyelids than watch any more of Rose and Finn.

[utee94 15,907]

They're equally terrible, but at least Ep2 had Natalie Portman, so...

[Red Five 41,192]

I just remembered “I wish I could wish these feelings away” and “I thought we decided not to fall in love”. Ok, that was really bad.

[Red Five 41,192]

I just remembered Anakin riding some kind of awful CGI cow. Damn I may have to admit defeat here.

[Dutchrudder 11,162]

2 minutes ago, Red Five said:

I just remembered Anakin riding some kind of awful CGI cow. Damn I may have to admit defeat here.

I can't believe how bad this scene is. Haven't watched it in years. All I can think of is Plinkett's voice saying "Supports Fascist Dictatorship!" X

 

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

39 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Damn I may have to admit defeat here.

you don't have to concede to anyone who can't admit TLJ is an irredeemable pile of shit just like AOTC

[atomheartbevo 90,149]

Remember when they shoved Christmas into ESB?  Somewhere in the first 10 minutes of this

(NSFW)

 

Edited May 15, 2019 by atomheartbevo

[Barry_McCokiner 160]

49 minutes ago, Dutchrudder said:

I can't believe how bad this scene is. Haven't watched it in years. All I can think of is Plinkett's voice saying "Supports Fascist Dictatorship!" X

 

that's some diverse terrain.

[SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3,861]

56 minutes ago, Dutchrudder said:

I can't believe how bad this scene is. Haven't watched it in years. All I can think of is Plinkett's voice saying "Supports Fascist Dictatorship!" X

 

i'm actually embarrassed watching that.  i feel so bad for the people involved that even though i have nothing to do with it, i can't laugh at it or mock it or whatever.  it's painful to watch.

[Red Five 41,192]

What’s really amazing is that was made 22 years after The Empire Strikes Back. Talk about losing your fastball.

[mulletpelini 5,216]

4 hours ago, Red Five said:

I just remembered Anakin riding some kind of awful CGI cow. Damn I may have to admit defeat here.

That's exactly the moment I knew we were in trouble.  That's when I dozed off....in a fucking Star Wars movie....the first time I was watching it.....days after it came out.

I disagree about TPM though.  Yeah it was bad, JJ was a beating.  The pod race always redeemed it a bit for me, just because it was presented so differently without a score, sound effects blazing.  AOC had nothing, not one thing I can remember worth remembering.  ROTS was pretty weak too.  NOOOOOOOOOOOO, can't forget that.....for all the wrong reasons.

[Nivek 17,090]

Phantom Menace had Maul. The others had Dooku and Grevious/Winnie.

[utee94 15,907]

Phantom Menace also had Jar Jar.  The others had far less Jar Jar.

But I loved the pod race, even with the mildly racist multi-armed stereotypical Italian grand prix driver and the two-headed Saved By The Bell style completely unnecessary sporting announcer.  

[mdmost 43,344]

Don't forget the overly Asian Trade Federation guys. Almost wondered if Mickey Rooney did the voiceover work. 

[utee94 15,907]

Yeah, them too.  And of course the entire race of underwater rastafarians.

Makes me wonder how that movie would be received now, in our ever-increasing PC environment.

[alincoln 2,385]

Holy shit the score was awful in that AOTC cow riding scene.  As much as I despise TLJ for ruining the possible redemption of the Star Wars franchise, AOTC is clearly inferior and by quite some distance.  I still prefer TPM to TLJ.  Just compare the opening scenes.

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

16 hours ago, Red Five said:

What’s really amazing is that was made 22 years after The Empire Strikes Back. Talk about losing your fastball.

the love story in ESB was compelling and well done-- totally organic and believable, happens within the framework of a larger story

so naturally in AOTC you gotta turn that on its ear and grind the story to a halt to make the characters talk about how much they WANT to be in love but can't be for nebulous reasons

and also show them being attractive together so naturally they're in love because attractive!

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

19 minutes ago, alincoln said:

AOTC is clearly inferior and by quite some distance.

"this shit sandwich is marginally better than that shit sandwich"

TLJ had better visuals and while it had some larfers its dialogue wasn't needle-scratch bad like the worst of AOTC (AOTC had moments so bad that I couldn't believe they made the final edit of the film). That's it in terms of differentiation. 

[utee94 15,907]

AOTC had a space diner complete with a robot Flo and an alien Mel right out of 70s . I think that's pretty much all that needs to be said about it.  It's by far the worst of the lot, just not even close.

I was originally inclined to give Phantom Menace the nod over TLJ, but given all of the discussion above, I don't think I can.