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Star Wars Episode IX

Red Five

By Red Five
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Surly Bevo
Surly Bevo

Drew again...you are such a beating, take a fucking hint some times you toolspank.  

oSuJeff97
oSuJeff97

Agreed 100%.  There's a ton that I like about Rogue One, up to and including Vader's badassery: I love the idea that Cassian is sort of a Rebel CIA guy who is conflicted about all of the ba

Hanrahan
Hanrahan

The movie was good. The Last Jedi was dogshit. JJ gave it the respect it deserved. Your opinions are all wrong and terrible.

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BrickHorn

BrickHorn 18255

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Posted (edited)

That’s a trailer for Act III of this installment.  It should therefore preview a resolution of the plot tensions developed in the previous acts.  The problem is: there are no plot tensions to resolve.  

TLJ killed off the big baddie, killed off all the rebels, and left off with the cast all together just kind of dumbfounded about what the hell to do and what the whole point is.  There is absolutely nothing to be excited about and nothing to look forward to in Act III, thanks to the disastrous Act II.  I mean, I guess I want to see it all end.  But I’m not even sure what “it” is.  What exactly are the heroes doing, and why, and why should we consider them heroes, and who’s the bad guy?  And other than finding something to do besides wandering around aimlessly feeling sorry for themselves, what issue is left for our heroes to resolve?

Contrast that with ROTJ.  Empire left off with our heroes separated, one kidnapped, one defeated and disfigured and torn between family and the forces of good, the rebellion on the run, etc, etc.  There was so much left to resolve.  Would they find Han and save him?  Would Luke turn to the dark side to join his father?  Was Vader really Luke’s father?  Could the rebels regroup and emerge victorious over the villain?

Thats the kind of shit that got us excited for the final installment of the original trilogy.  But that tension is completely lacking for this one.  I don’t even know who the villain is - it’s the emperor I guess?  But they’ve never even hinted at him in this trilogy and the whole thing feels like a video game where the point of each movie/level is to beat the next boss.  That’s fine for arcade games, but it’s shitty narrative structure.

tl;dr - I have no excite for this movie because Rian Johnson suck so bad.  So very very bad.  

Edited by BrickHorn
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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89750

Posted
Posted (edited)
37 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

What was that near the end that Rey and Kylo were taking out together and splintered into a bunch of pieces.  Almost looked Darth Vaderish but seemed way too short.

Luke projecting himself again.  It's been retconned that he didn't die, and continued in the ways of Howard Hughes and is a recluse who just projects himself here and there, sitting on thrones, etc. just fucking with Kylo while he gets fat off of the teats of space cows.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89750

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

Remember that’s a trailer for Act III of this installment.  It should therefore preview a resolution of the plot tensions developed in the previous acts.  The problem is: there are no plot tensions to resolve.  

TLJ killed off the big baddie, killed off all the rebels, and left off with the cast all together just kind of dumbfounded about what the hell to do and what the whole point is.  There is absolutely nothing to be excited about and nothing to look forward to in Act III, thanks to the disastrous Act II.  I mean, I guess I want to see it all end.  But I’m not even sure what “it” is.  What exactly are the heroes doing, and why, and why should we consider them heroes, and who’s the bad guy?  And other than finding something to do besides wandering around aimlessly feeling sorry for themselves, what issue is left for our heroes to resolve?

Contrast that with ROTJ.  Empire left off with our heroes separated, one kidnapped, one defeated and disfigured and torn between family and the forces of good, the rebellion on the run, etc, etc.  There was so much left to resolve.  Would they find Han and save him?  Would Luke turn to the dark side to join his father?  Was Vader really Luke’s father?  Could the rebels regroup and emerge victorious over the villain?

Thats the kind of shit that got us excited for the final installment of the original trilogy.  But that tension is completely lacking for this one.  I don’t even know who the villain is - it’s the emperor I guess.  But they’ve never even hinted at him in this trilogy and the whole thing feels like a video game where the point of each movie/level is to beat the next boss.  That’s fine for arcade games, but it’s shitty narrative structure.

tl;dr - I have no excite for this movie because Rian Johnson suck so bad.  So very very bad.  

As much as I love to shit on the prequels, at least Lucas had an endpoint that he had to arrive at, even if he meandered all over the fucking place to get there.

I hate to think what Lucas would have done with the sequels.

At least this will be over with soon.

I just have to decide whether to take my 7 year-old or not - he's never seen a SW movie in the theaters, and he's only seen the OT and the Phantom Menace.  I kind of want to give him that experience.

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Surly Bevo

Surly Bevo 25084

Posted
Posted
Which series will have the worst ending? GoT or SW


GoT got the Eazy E AIDS. It was surprising it suffered a bit but then died pretty quick. SW found a spot on its lung in 1983 and it’s been slowly metastasizing and killing off organs ever since. She’s in hospice....won’t be long now
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Iceman

Iceman 2722

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12 hours ago, XYZ said:

Fuck Rian Johnson. Fuck Kathleen Kennedy. Fuck Disney. And fuck that movie. I’m not going to watch it.

Pretty much how I feel.  The characters are ‘forced’ (lol) and the sjw aspect is an abomination of a great storyline.

I enjoyed the Solo redux, the Mandlorian looks compelling, but these last few SW episodes have been complete dogshit.

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smuggs

smuggs 9353

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

When you guys are stanning this inevitably underwhelming movie, just remember that moment when Captain America summoned the hammer and think of what could have been.

Jokes on you because I will be richarding, not stanning this movie.

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hayden_horn

hayden_horn 11364

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, mdmost said:

I figured you'd have done your own sequel trilogy fan fiction by now but we all seem to have busier lives now compared to when the PT was out. 

the funny thing was, those posts i wrote to describe how the prequel trilogy should've gone took me a max of about ten minutes to put together.

i suppose i could have done a thing about the sequels, but the story means less to me than the prequels. i can't really explain why. 

it's strange because i should care more about these characters, but the world in which we find them is so broken that it's hard not to blame them. luke is gone for reasons. leia and han are split and their son is a fucking asshole. and we have this empire-lite with a leader who we don't know, and never apparently will. there's some weird backstory with luke and kylo, but it's shadowy and not well developed and it doesn't really matter because now luke is dead because, he force projected his image? reasons? the same reasons he was gone in the first place?

there is no framework from which to even speculate a story. it's so different than the prequels, because there were seeds planted in the original trilogy that basically told the prequel story, and lucas just shit them into the toilet.

but anyways, i'll go watch it because i have to watch it. i will try to like it as i've tried to like the past two movies, but i'm going into this one eyes wide open, kind of like mack's 2013 season. hope for the best, but we can all kind of see where this shit is headed.

 

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mdmost

mdmost 43010

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, hayden_horn said:

but anyways, i'll go watch it because i have to watch it. i will try to like it as i've tried to like the past two movies, but i'm going into this one eyes wide open, kind of like mack's 2013 season. hope for the best, but we can all kind of see where this shit is headed.

 

So maybe the Resistance will beat OU and make it to the Alamo Bowl?

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mdmost

mdmost 43010

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, smuggs said:

So is it confirmed that some of this is taking place on Endor? If so will there be any goddamned Ewoks running around? Asking for Drew and his Wicket boner.

Sadly for drew, I think this is actually the planet Endor is the moon of, given Endor is supposed to be comprised of nothing but trees. 

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52532

Posted
Posted
Just now, mdmost said:

Sadly for drew, I think this is actually the planet Endor is the moon of, given Endor is supposed to be a forest moon. 

My interpretation of the phrase “forest moon of Endor” is that it’s one of the moons of the planet Endor, the one with the forests. 

Not that Endor is the name of the forest moon where Ewoks live. 

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SuingToGetAMessageBoard?

SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861

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Oscar Isaacs is such a discount store Han Solo.

Threepio is going to do something heroic?

Rose and Fin don't look so much like choads now that they are a little older, which seems good.  But they were basement dweller quality characters to begin with, so there wasn't much but up they could go.

What are we fighting here, a Ghost Emperor? Ghosts don't scare me.  Know what scares me?  Guys that punch you and their hand *doesn't* go through you..  

The other two movies only had two characters that were enjoyable, Kylo and Rey.  I got the sense they are fucking up Kylo here.  Which leaves us only with Rey.  So the force is female!

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Levi

Levi 2588

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13 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Luke projecting himself again.  It's been retconned that he didn't die, and continued in the ways of Howard Hughes and is a recluse who just projects himself here and there, sitting on thrones, etc. just fucking with Kylo while he gets fat off of the teats of space cows.

Are we talking about when they are in the white room and split the black thing into tiny pieces? Because if so, it’s highly likely that it isn’t Luke but rather Vader’s mask that Kylo has been talking/worshipping too. It could be that papa palps was talking to Kylo the whole time not Vader and Rey wants to destroy it with the little blade in her hand. 

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hayden_horn

hayden_horn 11364

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4 minutes ago, DoneWithit said:

Are we talking about when they are in the white room and split the black thing into tiny pieces? Because if so, it’s highly likely that it isn’t Luke but rather Vader’s mask that Kylo has been talking/worshipping too. It could be that papa palps was talking to Kylo the whole time not Vader and Rey wants to destroy it with the little blade in her hand. 

 

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