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Dallas Cowboys 2024 Season Thread -- Jerrah the Asshat Rides Again


Patrick Bateman

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2 hours ago, Sawbonz said:

So this hire means no legitimate HC candidate wanted the job right? Or at least wanted a ridiculous amount of money to offset the fuckery that comes with it

No. It means Jerry wants all the control and/or credit. I also believe that the Jones are cheap as fuck and this dude was probably willing to take a lower $$ number which the cheap fucks really zero in on.

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2 hours ago, Newy25 said:

Eberflus being hired is the cherry on top. Jerry must be trying to destroy the franchise value in some sort of weird tax mitigation strategy before he dies and his estate inherits the team. 

Lolwhut

 

 

all that shit will be protected under layers of corporations and trusts. The Jones clan won’t feel the tax hit at all.

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Confused Always Sunny GIF by It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

They're totally fucked. Too good to completely Tank (at least if Dak is healthy) and not good enough on the coaching staff or roster to make any real run.

They are literally in a hamster wheel of mediocrity.

 

Also the Cowboys are stuck with Dak for at least 2 more years...so any fantasies ya'll have for the #1 overall pick are just that. Not only will they not be bad enough to get that pick, they won't add one till maybe 2026 off season and then have him sit for a year until it's feasible to Jun 1 Dak.

 

What I'm going to hate the worst is another fucking season of ALL of us knowing that the Front office is the true problem, and the HC is worthless...but ONLY Dak will be blamed every week.

Gonna be a fun year.  I was pretty "meh" about last season, especially after last off season...it's why i wasn't around much.  But this year will be even worse.  Or better, since I won't having headaches worrying about it.

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The only hope I hold out about Stephen taking over is he may be one who can be shamed into doing the right thing when Daddy passes away. Jerry gets a lot of rope because of who he is and what he's done. Maybe we're at the point where that might run out soon especially with this hire. I don't see anyone giving Stephen any grace period if he takes over and tries to be Jerry 2.0. But then again when you have fuck you money and the fan base seems incapable of throwing in the towel, what can really be done but just stop bothering to watch. I passively watch now. I don't let it run my Sundays like I used to. I turn it on and have it in the background. It doesn't really bother me when they lose because I hope it takes away a little bit of Jerry's soul every time. He would have to have one for that to matter. The more he fails, the farther away he gets from being "a football man" that he so desires to be taken seriously as so he tightens his grip even more. What would help is if his former players would stop treating every action he does as okay. Even Troy takes a kid gloves approach with his criticism of Jerry. The man is not above reproach and it would be great if loudmouths like Irvin would say something. 

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54 minutes ago, mdmost said:

This is Jason Garrett all over again except no one was chasing Schottenheimer to be their head coach. Hell, I'd rather have Coach Bro even though he was a failure. At least he can develop offensive weapons. 

Coach Bro or Deion would at least have been entertaining during the crash

This fucking zero? There isn’t even any entertainment value. People think Fat Mike was a yes man? Brian Schitty will live with Jerry’s arm 3 ft up his puppet hole.

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1 hour ago, Drew said:

Confused Always Sunny GIF by It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

They're totally fucked. Too good to completely Tank (at least if Dak is healthy) and not good enough on the coaching staff or roster to make any real run.

They are literally in a hamster wheel of mediocrity.

 

Also the Cowboys are stuck with Dak for at least 2 more years...so any fantasies ya'll have for the #1 overall pick are just that. Not only will they not be bad enough to get that pick, they won't add one till maybe 2026 off season and then have him sit for a year until it's feasible to Jun 1 Dak.

 

What I'm going to hate the worst is another fucking season of ALL of us knowing that the Front office is the true problem, and the HC is worthless...but ONLY Dak will be blamed every week.

Gonna be a fun year.  I was pretty "meh" about last season, especially after last off season...it's why i wasn't around much.  But this year will be even worse.  Or better, since I won't having headaches worrying about it.

Shut the fuck up, Drew.

 

Nearly every recent post in this thread is pointing out what an absolute fucking moron Jerry is, yet you run in here like the proverbial white knight intent on defending Dak’s precious honor. 
 

Dak ain’t gunna fuck you (well, he’s likely to fuck your expectations and belief in him, not that you’d admit it when he flames out).

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8 minutes ago, lilMAC25 said:

Shut the fuck up, Drew.

 

Nearly every recent post in this thread is pointing out what an absolute fucking moron Jerry is, yet you run in here like the proverbial white knight intent on defending Dak’s precious honor. 
 

Dak ain’t gunna fuck you (well, he’s likely to fuck your expectations and belief in him, not that you’d admit it when he flames out).

Out of my entire post you found one sentence to pick apart which will end up being fucking true.  And you know it.  You idiots will continue to pretend HE'S the problem when the season starts.  And all I said was I can't wait until ya'll start doing it again.  You shit on Jerry and the front office and coaches the entire time, and act like none of them are why they lose playoff games, only Dak.

Rinse/repeat.

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5 minutes ago, futureman said:

in what round?  or is it which round?

Anything more than a free agent invite is a waste for this team. Skattebo has heart but he isn’t big enough to run like he does in the NFL. Every team he faces will have 11 guys waiting to hit him as hard or harder than we did

 

Ricky was asked about the biggest difference between college and NFL defenses and he said it was the hits. In college you might face one or two guys that might be all conference in a given week. On Sundays every guy you face is  at least all conference and maybe all American 

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1 hour ago, Drew said:

 

Out of my entire post you found one sentence to pick apart which will end up being fucking true.  And you know it.  You idiots will continue to pretend HE'S the problem when the season starts.  And all I said was I can't wait until ya'll start doing it again.  You shit on Jerry and the front office and coaches the entire time, and act like none of them are why they lose playoff games, only Dak.

Rinse/repeat.

 

He’s not gonna fuck you, Drew.

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2 hours ago, mdmost said:

The only hope I hold out about Stephen taking over is he may be one who can be shamed into doing the right thing when Daddy passes away. Jerry gets a lot of rope because of who he is and what he's done. Maybe we're at the point where that might run out soon especially with this hire. I don't see anyone giving Stephen any grace period if he takes over and tries to be Jerry 2.0. But then again when you have fuck you money and the fan base seems incapable of throwing in the towel, what can really be done but just stop bothering to watch. I passively watch now. I don't let it run my Sundays like I used to. I turn it on and have it in the background. It doesn't really bother me when they lose because I hope it takes away a little bit of Jerry's soul every time. He would have to have one for that to matter. The more he fails, the farther away he gets from being "a football man" that he so desires to be taken seriously as so he tightens his grip even more. What would help is if his former players would stop treating every action he does as okay. Even Troy takes a kid gloves approach with his criticism of Jerry. The man is not above reproach and it would be great if loudmouths like Irvin would say something. 

Many of you hate Jerry so much that it clouds the real issue with this team, and it’s Stephen fucking Jones.  He is the cheapskate bastard that is wrecking the team.  He has been in control at least back to the draft where they ripped the Johnny football draft card away from Jerry.  And unless Charlotte takes control as ceo and fires him it will be 30 more years of shit.  He is totally risk averse going back to their childhood of Jerry’s boom or bust life as an oil man.  

Fat Mike was his pick not Jerry’s. They were absolutely shocked that Mike walked out the door and rejected the situation.  Left them scrambling as it was Stephen who kept Jerry from firing Mike after the Green Bay game.  Continuity is his fucking mantra not Jerry’s.  Stephen would not have taken Charles Haley, or signed Deion.  The later bad FAs like Joey Galloway and Greg Hardy cemented his stubborness that top GAs are all bad.

Hopefully though it’s doubtful they learn something. Apparently all of the top candidates thru their agents rejected interviews.  The Kellen Moore interview was a courtesy from KM and supposedly it only lasted an hour of the three hours scheduled, and he had more experience and familiarity with the job than anyone.  Why is what should be the premier gig in coaching is only capable of hiring a journeyman hanger on who hasn’t smelled a HC interview since he was on hard knocks with Rex Ryan?  
 

lots of things. I think Jerry’s awful treatment of McCarthy’s situation had a huge impact. He should have fired or extended last January.  He wrecked all the jobs of the assistants who are all looking for gigs.  He won’t pay even avg money.  Add in Dak and that crippling awful contract, a roster of likely departing free agents, a weepy o and line, it’s a bad situation.  An intrusive owner and FO, huge media pressure, guided tours in the practice facility in season,  on and on and it’s now a shitshow no one wants.

would love to see Jerry get zero primerime games in 25.  That might wake him up a bit.

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3 hours ago, DougO said:

He won't be doing clock management. He'll be running the defense. He has some decent cred there.


Oh it’s much worse than clock management. He just invents ways to lose games. He created a culture of losing. When combined with what could be the worst hire since Campo this shit looks like tanking. Deion would have been a better hire. 

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19 minutes ago, Newy25 said:


Oh it’s much worse than clock management. He just invents ways to lose games. He created a culture of losing. When combined with what could be the worst hire since Campo this shit looks like tanking. Deion would have been a better hire. 

eberflus isn’t some wizard but you also have absolutely zero fucking idea what the hell you’re talking about.  armchair gm who probably played soccer in high school.  now you play a lot of fantasy football without any actual understanding of what the hell is going on between the sidelines. 

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22 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

Releasing the news at 9 pm on a Friday night means they were embarrassed. 

As they should be..... It's the worst hire of the cycle and one of the worst hires in last 5 years.  Literally settling on a guy because he's cheap and no one else wanted..... in a decade.  He was lucky to have an OC job.

22 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

Now I’m waiting for news of Jason Witten being signed to the coaching staff.  He’ll be the HC after Schottenheimer.

Most likely.  I expect he'll be the TE coach (where he should start) or some special assistant on offense.  The Jones boys have ruined an American institution and simply want to be an ATM for them.  It's tragic.

 

22 hours ago, tokamak said:

Pretty obvious that the serious candidates noped the fuck out after talking with Jerry and Stephen so they were just like fuck it, this guy is fine. 

They didn't even try for anyone serious.... probably because their pride couldn't take the rejection and Stephen doesn't think coaching matters that much in the NFL.  

 

22 hours ago, MrBig said:

This is fucking 8-D chess. Play like shit for 3 years. Pile up draft picks. Blame the crappy coach and staff. Wait for Sark and Arch to become available at the same time. Stephen has started putting more arsenic in Jerry’s coffee. 

Except they're playing Risk.  Dallas has the dumbest front office in sports right now when it comes to organizational achievement.  Congrats!

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10 hours ago, Iceman said:

The Cowboys are in contract hell through 2027 at a minimum.  I will repeat what I said upthread, the next franchise QB picked by the Cowboys isn't even out of High School yet.  Arch can go to the Colts or the Browns...
https://www.spotrac.com/nfl/player/_/id/19089/dak-prescott

No, they're not.  See the Eagles or the Bills or KC or the Rams or the Lions or half a dozen other franchises that seem to put talent on the field and spend money.  Dallas doesn't even spend money.  If you believe this narrative, then Jerrah has some beach front property in Arizona for you.  It's bullshit.

 

10 hours ago, dcar00 said:

This is the Dak continuity pick.  unless there is a complete implosion(like a 3 or 4 win season) he's here for 4 years.

They may try and sell it as this, but this isn't on Dak.  This is a one of a bevy of shitty decisions made over 30 years by a couple of guys who are having fun playing GM.  It's not a serious organization, it's Cosplay for dumb white southerners.  

 

9 hours ago, mdmost said:

This is Jason Garrett all over again except no one was chasing Schottenheimer to be their head coach. Hell, I'd rather have Coach Bro even though he was a failure. At least he can develop offensive weapons. 

It's congruence to Red is the way Jerry is forcing staff decisions on potential coaching staffs.  First it was Garrett being hired before Wade, now it's going to be getting Witten ready to take over in 3-4 years.  

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7 hours ago, mdmost said:

The only hope I hold out about Stephen taking over is he may be one who can be shamed into doing the right thing when Daddy passes away. Jerry gets a lot of rope because of who he is and what he's done. Maybe we're at the point where that might run out soon especially with this hire. I don't see anyone giving Stephen any grace period if he takes over and tries to be Jerry 2.0. But then again when you have fuck you money and the fan base seems incapable of throwing in the towel, what can really be done but just stop bothering to watch. I passively watch now. I don't let it run my Sundays like I used to. I turn it on and have it in the background. It doesn't really bother me when they lose because I hope it takes away a little bit of Jerry's soul every time. He would have to have one for that to matter. The more he fails, the farther away he gets from being "a football man" that he so desires to be taken seriously as so he tightens his grip even more. What would help is if his former players would stop treating every action he does as okay. Even Troy takes a kid gloves approach with his criticism of Jerry. The man is not above reproach and it would be great if loudmouths like Irvin would say something. 

I'm sort of here..... Stephen is weak and if enough of the fandom can shame him and hate him enough, he may pull up stakes and leave.  Probably not, because the whole fucking Jones' family doesn't have real jobs, they're all tangentially employed by the Cowboys.  Jerrah just needs to die soon.

 

30 minutes ago, Newy25 said:


Oh it’s much worse than clock management. He just invents ways to lose games. He created a culture of losing. When combined with what could be the worst hire since Campo this shit looks like tanking. Deion would have been a better hire. 

Eberfleus was a huge failure as a HC, from clock management to terrible staff hiring, but he has some skins on the wall as a DC.  He's a least defendable, although I would have much rather had Saleh as HC and if you had to keep Big Loser's son on the staff, then keep him as OC.

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I really don't like the Shottenheimer hiring much, but I don't see any big reason for all the meltdowns here. Mike is no big loss. He was never going to outcoach a good coach in a big game with equal or better talent. He hit his absolute ceiling. 

Now at least the Cowboys will have a shakeup in the staff, and that was badly needed. It's a shame the old OC is now the HC, but at least he's not the OC. Perhaps the new OC hire will add some more dimensions to the offense.

That's about as optimistic as I can get. I'm hoping for some good hires, not expecting a magical resurgence that leads the Cowboys to the Superbowl. But at least there is some change, and the Cowboys needed change. It may be shitty change for the worse, but something needed to happen. The other options were not overwhelming, either. It was pretty much "choose the form of your destructor" and we just go rid of the fucking Marshallow Man. 

Draft some badasses and let it all roll and see what happens. 

 

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5 minutes ago, Patrick Bateman said:

They may try and sell it as this, but this isn't on Dak.  This is a one of a bevy of shitty decisions made over 30 years by a couple of guys who are having fun playing GM.  It's not a serious organization, it's Cosplay for dumb white southerners.  

 

 

I don't think it has anything to do with where they are from or their race.  they are just dumb like Dan Snyder, Woody Johnson, modell, etc.

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I think the Witten thing was way overblown, just something like the Deion bullshit, a familiar name to get a buzz going. He might show up as an assistant to the assistant deal at some point, like some former Cowboys players have, and see how it goes from there. I think he still has a kid in school that he probably wants to coach. Either way, I think it's such a minor thing for people to just yap about. 

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11 minutes ago, Patrick Bateman said:

No, they're not.  See the Eagles or the Bills or KC or the Rams or the Lions or half a dozen other franchises that seem to put talent on the field and spend money.  Dallas doesn't even spend money.  If you believe this narrative, then Jerrah has some beach front property in Arizona for you.  It's bullshit.

 

 

Dak's cap hit in 2025 is 23MM higher than Mahomes.  Now apply those dollars versus actual productivity and not garbage time, and yeah... Additionally,  the context of my statement wasn't "Poor Cowboys can't afford to compete," but rather, "Dambass Cowboys dumped a shit-ton of salary on a turd."

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