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JD Vance Fucked 5 couches as a hillbilly


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5 minutes ago, South Austin said:

You think JD fantasized about getting a blowjob from Chairry while watching Pee Wee's Playhouse as a kid?

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I'll be...on my couch.

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"Anyway, like I was sayin', the couch is the lady bits of furniture. You can rub it, grind on it, make love to it, massage it, lick it, play with it. There's um, sectional couches, love seats, modular couches. Camelback, Chaise, Divan, Mid-Century Modern, Chesterfield, Lawson, English Roll Arm, Daybed, Serpentine, Recamier. That's- that's about it." 

 

 

 

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Guys he didn't fuck a couch, he fucked an inside out latex glove shoved in a couch. Totally different and totally normal. The glove is what makes it no homo.....sectional.

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9 minutes ago, Covri said:

Guys he didn't fuck a couch, he fucked an inside out latex glove shoved in a couch. Totally different and totally normal. The glove is what makes it no homo.....sectional.

I can't help but wonder how many times it took him to realize to turn the glove inside-out?  For a week or two, he was Ole' Chalky Chafe Chaise dick.  

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2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I can't help but wonder how many times it took him to realize to turn the glove inside-out?  For a week or two, he was Ole' Chalky Chafe Chaise dick.  

Ribbed for his pleasure. 

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Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Handcruser said:

What happened. What did I miss?

This is how it started:

image.thumb.png.8a41633c8ceb08cb8bc515d8b54b5c94.png 

Edited by YGIFS
And this thread is how it's going now...
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2 hours ago, Covri said:

Guys he didn't fuck a couch, he fucked an inside out latex glove shoved in a couch. Totally different and totally normal. The glove is what makes it no homo.....sectional.

Yet he wants to deprive you of your contraception.  

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

By the way, even though this story is completely contrived, I want to see J.D. Vance deny that he ever had sexual relations with a couch.

I mean he’s a Buckeye. There is a built in couch angle already. 

Edited by Nicole44
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Just now, Nicole44 said:

I mean he’s a Buckeye. There is a built in couch angle already. 

At least the hillbillies from West Virginia have the decency to burn these.  

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I feel bad for JD, like fucking a couch is among the more normal, victimless, sexual behaviors when compared to the more malicious deviance of his GQP colleagues.  If only all violent perverts could assuage their carnal temptations via living room furniture, the world would be a better place. 

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3 hours ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

So this family did a JD Vance song to the tune of “Dancing Queen” and I gotta say, it kinda kicks ass.

 

 

So this couple gets 6 votes right?

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