JD Vance Fucked 5 couches as a hillbilly

[Mittens 7991]

 

[Ghost of LL 15244]

Ok--real talk, and please explain it to me like I'm 5: what makes J.D. Vance a bad pick as a running mate?

You can't count the couch shit--we could've made that up about anyone.  Now admittedly, maybe it wouldn't have been as believable if one said it about some people.  I mean, it's a lot more funny, believable, and gross when it's J.D. Vance rather than, say, John Cornyn.  But still, . . . 

As for his lack of charisma, he's still probably better than DeSantis.  And while he may hate cats, at least he didn't kill the family dog unlike Kristi Noem.

And his political positions--shit like putting tracking devices on women of childbearing age--isn't that just pretty standard Republican fare these days?

I guess my point is that all of these people are fucking weird and noxious.  J.D. Vance just seems like he's kind of league average for that party.

[DDD Dad 14060]

7 minutes ago, G650 said:

 

 

Had to go with the OG:

 

[DDD Dad 14060]

1 minute ago, Ghost of LL said:

I mean, it's a lot more funny, believable, and gross when it's J.D. Vance rather than, say, John Cornyn.  But still, . . . 

John Cornyn did fuck a brisket.  I seent it.

[Francisco 2.0 31922]

 

 

 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20303]

On 7/24/2024 at 6:31 PM, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

Holy shit! "Polyfurniamorous" is one of the best words I've ever read. 

 

 

 

Sorry for going back to this, but this just made me weep. "seemed to beckon to his touch" is downright brilliant. 

"Everything in the room struck a deep chord of desire; his infatuations and lusts weren’t limited to the couch. The antique-styled melamine coffee table with its printed veneer surface stirred something deep within him. He admired the craftsmanship, the way each groove and edge seemed to beckon his touch."

[Hugo Stiglitz 23247]

 

[The Dog 43084]

[DixonHur 10837]

[freyguy 4239]

 

 

[Loch Ness Monster 3529]

Don't think Usha really tweeted this but yeah

[Js1 82948]

When you've lost this piece of shit, you've really fucked up

 

 

[HornOnTheBayou 8852]

1 hour ago, Ghost of LL said:

Ok--real talk, and please explain it to me like I'm 5: what makes J.D. Vance a bad pick as a running mate?

You can't count the couch shit--we could've made that up about anyone.  Now admittedly, maybe it wouldn't have been as believable if one said it about some people.  I mean, it's a lot more funny, believable, and gross when it's J.D. Vance rather than, say, John Cornyn.  But still, . . . 

As for his lack of charisma, he's still probably better than DeSantis.  And while he may hate cats, at least he didn't kill the family dog unlike Kristi Noem.

And his political positions--shit like putting tracking devices on women of childbearing age--isn't that just pretty standard Republican fare these days?

I guess my point is that all of these people are fucking weird and noxious.  J.D. Vance just seems like he's kind of league average for that party.

The biggest issue is that, yes, most Republican leaders probably agree with his position, but they're not dumb enough to say it out loud. Not only has Vance said it on air and in print, he's made it the cornerstone of his policy agenda. As odious as Cornyn or Haley are to me, at least they're not dumb enough to say people with more kids should get more votes. 

[The Dog 43084]

[atomheartbevo 88913]

1 hour ago, Ghost of LL said:

Ok--real talk, and please explain it to me like I'm 5: what makes J.D. Vance a bad pick as a running mate?

If you are a Republican, it's troublesome because Vance put that Yale education to good use trashing the shit out of Trump in both print and in interviews, explaining why he was unfit and untrustworthy, and all of those interviews and articles are going to be put to use in the run-up to November.  You just know either Harris will bring it up in a debate (if Trump doesn't chicken out) or Trump will be asked about the specifics that Vance said.

Vance has also said plenty of shit that stirs the left up.  Pence, for all of his faults, prior to 2016, was pretty under-the-radar.  Vance, not so much.

I'm still surprised Trump picked him, because I was pretty sure Trump has an enemies list saved on his iPhone, and that Vance would be up there.  It's also not like Trump was in danger of losing Ohio.

And as @HornOnTheBayou said, Vance has said shit out loud that you're not supposed to say until after you win and have power, which goes back to stirring the left up and bothering moderates.

Vance and Harris are unifying the left in a way that is not good for Trump.

Edited July 26 by atomheartbevo

[Loch Ness Monster 3529]

[Underdog 28118]

 

[atomheartbevo 88913]

2 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

He won’t be on the ticket much longer. 

He has to be on the ticket.  You know he won't step down on his own, because this is his chance and he will be a laughingstock (well he already is now) and his career is on a downward trajectory.  If he steps down, no way he sniffs the White House, in either slot on the ticket, because the reasons he's a liability now will still exist in four years and there will be a shitload of Republicans in 2028 who will happily remind the media of Vance's past.

If he's outright booted, his political career is over as well for a lot of reasons, and you don't want another ex-Trump official or would-be ex-official out there with an axe to grind against Trump.  Plus Trump would look weak to a lot of people who have amnesia about his Presidency.

The Democrats initially looked weak for forcing Biden off the ticket, but they bounced back.  I don't think Trump can competently handle a change on the ticket.

He's staying on the ticket.

 

[Clintonaldo 2339]

He has to be on the ticket.  You know he won't step down on his own, because this is his chance and he will be a laughingstock (well he already is now) and his career is on a downward trajectory.  If he steps down, no way he sniffs the White House, in either slot on the ticket, because the reasons he's a liability now will still exist in four years and there will be a shitload of Republicans in 2028 who will happily remind the media of Vance's past.
If he's outright booted, his political career is over as well for a lot of reasons, and you don't want another ex-Trump official or would-be ex-official out there with an axe to grind against Trump.  Plus Trump would look weak to a lot of people who have amnesia about his Presidency.
The Democrats initially looked weak for forcing Biden off the ticket, but they bounced back.  I don't think Trump can competently handle a change on the ticket.
He's staying on the ticket.
 

And just like that another person loses everything because they wanted to be associated with Trump

I’ve had a theory that the Democrats put Biden out there to debate so this would all happen otherwise he wouldn’t have stepped down.

[Brisketexan 103515]

3 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

He has to be on the ticket.  You know he won't step down on his own, because this is his chance and he will be a laughingstock (well he already is now) and his career is on a downward trajectory.  If he steps down, no way he sniffs the White House, in either slot on the ticket, because the reasons he's a liability now will still exist in four years and there will be a shitload of Republicans in 2028 who will happily remind the media of Vance's past.

If he's outright booted, his political career is over as well for a lot of reasons, and you don't want another ex-Trump official or would-be ex-official out there with an axe to grind against Trump.  Plus Trump would look weak to a lot of people who have amnesia about his Presidency.

The Democrats initially looked weak for forcing Biden off the ticket, but they bounced back.  I don't think Trump can competently handle a change on the ticket.

He's staying on the ticket.

Counterpoint: if Trump decides he needs to be off the ticket, Vance is off the ticket, because Trump is God, Trump is The Law, Trump is Everything, All Hail Trump.  Seriously, there is no dissent in the GQP.  If Trump decides it, Vance has no choice.

[Superhero 8595]

This thread moves too fast. When did it come out that he’s looking up at dolphin porn?

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20303]

8 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Counterpoint: if Trump decides he needs to be off the ticket, Vance is off the ticket, because Trump is God, Trump is The Law, Trump is Everything, All Hail Trump.  Seriously, there is no dissent in the GQP.  If Trump decides it, Vance has no choice.

Either way he looks incompetent. I hope he doesn't get some sense, dump Vance, and pick up Haley. She's the only one who can help him. 

[Hugo Stiglitz 23247]

[Fudge Nuggets 18899]

1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

or Trump will be asked about the specifics that Vance said.

He won't be asked about what Vance said.  That would require a journalist with basic journo skills.  Those guys and gals don't get access to dotard.

[Clintonaldo 2339]

I still cannot believe Trump picked him after the shit he said about Trump. That’s unlike Trump to do that since he is all about loyalty but then again Donny Dementia is getting old and slippin. 

Edited July 26 by Clintonaldo

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20303]

1 minute ago, Clintonaldo said:

I still cannot believe Trump picked him after the shit he said about Trump. That’s unlike Trump to do that since he is all about loyalty but then again Donny Dementia is getting old and slippin. 

He has "forgiven" others like Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio once they kiss the ring. 

[atomheartbevo 88913]

1 hour ago, Clintonaldo said:

And just like that another person loses everything because they wanted to be associated with Trump

I actually think Vance probably loathes Trump.  The guy went to Yale and spilled a lot of ink and airtime trashing the shit out of Trump, to suddenly have a change of heart.  Vance is a shithead who simply got hungry for power and decided to skip the line for 2028.

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

Counterpoint: if Trump decides he needs to be off the ticket, Vance is off the ticket, because Trump is God, Trump is The Law, Trump is Everything, All Hail Trump.  Seriously, there is no dissent in the GQP.  If Trump decides it, Vance has no choice.

Counter-counterpoint: Trump prefers to double down rather than admit he’s wrong.  See boats and batteries, hurricanes and sharpies, and so on.  If a bunch of people tell him to ditch Vance, especially if it’s the media, in his mind, he can’t show weakness and back down.

[The Dog 43084]

[Clintonaldo 2339]

11 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

I actually think Vance probably loathes Trump.  The guy went to Yale and spilled a lot of ink and airtime trashing the shit out of Trump, to suddenly have a change of heart.  Vance is a shithead who simply got hungry for power and decided to skip the line for 2028.

Counter-counterpoint: Trump prefers to double down rather than admit he’s wrong.  See boats and batteries, hurricanes and sharpies, and so on.  If a bunch of people tell him to ditch Vance, especially if it’s the media, in his mind, he can’t show weakness and back down.

I agree and that makes him worse imo. Compete sellout. 

[butthurt 1504]

[naija 2804]

I can't help but think this guy has the beadiest fucking eyes I've seen in a candidate for that office in a long, long time. It's rather striking. 

[wildcat09 28485]

5 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

Ok--real talk, and please explain it to me like I'm 5: what makes J.D. Vance a bad pick as a running mate?

You can't count the couch shit--we could've made that up about anyone.  Now admittedly, maybe it wouldn't have been as believable if one said it about some people.  I mean, it's a lot more funny, believable, and gross when it's J.D. Vance rather than, say, John Cornyn.  But still, . . . 

As for his lack of charisma, he's still probably better than DeSantis.  And while he may hate cats, at least he didn't kill the family dog unlike Kristi Noem.

And his political positions--shit like putting tracking devices on women of childbearing age--isn't that just pretty standard Republican fare these days?

I guess my point is that all of these people are fucking weird and noxious.  J.D. Vance just seems like he's kind of league average for that party.

Wait until you read about Vance’s connections to Mencius Moldbug.

[atomheartbevo 88913]

1 hour ago, Clintonaldo said:

I agree and that makes him worse imo. Compete sellout. 

You can’t be that highly-educated and hear him babble about getting electrocuted by sinking. It’s with batteries and think “yeah, that’s my guy!”

I mean, there’s plenty of dumbasses out there that inexplicably make it through higher education, but I’ve heard and read Vance trash him too much,  and there was a loathing there that not even Cruz could muster.

[Biff Tannen 45013]

2 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Vance is a shithead who simply got hungry for power and decided to skip the line for 2028.

YUP.  And he knows this is their last gasp.  If they win, he rides to fascist glory.  If they lose, well he was done anyway.

Edited July 27 by Biff Tannen

[Burt 4044]

JD's couch may pull out, but JD doesn't. 

[Fudge Nuggets 18899]

[Biff Tannen 45013]

2 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

I'm more laughing that "trump assassination" dropped off to "meh" so quickly.

[atomheartbevo 88913]

2 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

I'm more laughing that "trump assassination" dropped off to "meh" so quickly.

Biden dropping out kind of wiped that off the front page, which has to really piss Trump off.

[254512 236]

Has “Couchgate” been coined yet?

[tx 3 putt 75227]

 

[Blotto 23245]

8 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

I'm more laughing that "trump assassination" dropped off to "meh" so quickly.

Its probably behind hundreds of obscure porn searches by this point. Trump Assassination vs Donkey Necrophilia. 

Spoiler

I stumbled across this article earlier, and thought it was well written rebuttal to the ideology of Vance/GQP from the  viewpoint of someone that also got their start in Appalachia. 

https://ohiocapitaljournal.com/2024/07/18/as-a-fellow-ohioan-america-i-have-some-concerns-about-u-s-sen-jd-vance/

 

[bolverk 29035]

They forgot a stanza:

Forty-five hillbillies a-humpin' a couch,
Forty-five hillbillies a-humpin' a couch,
Forty-six, if you check JD's crouch,
Forty-six hillbillies a-humpin' a couch.

Meh, I'll let someone else workshop it.

[Brisketexan 103515]

Its probably behind hundreds of obscure porn searches by this point. Trump Assassination vs Donkey Necrophilia. 
Spoiler

I stumbled across this article earlier, and thought it was well written rebuttal to the ideology of Vance/GQP from the  viewpoint of someone that also got their start in Appalachia. 
https://ohiocapitaljournal.com/2024/07/18/as-a-fellow-ohioan-america-i-have-some-concerns-about-u-s-sen-jd-vance/
 

I mean…I wouldn’t say a search for donkey necrophilia is OBSCURE…

[ChiTownDoc 20841]

6 hours ago, Js1 said:

When you've lost this piece of shit, you've really fucked up

 

 

 

[burntorangebongos 10656]

7 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

Ok--real talk, and please explain it to me like I'm 5: what makes J.D. Vance a bad pick as a running mate?

You can't count the couch shit--we could've made that up about anyone.  Now admittedly, maybe it wouldn't have been as believable if one said it about some people.  I mean, it's a lot more funny, believable, and gross when it's J.D. Vance rather than, say, John Cornyn.  But still, . . . 

As for his lack of charisma, he's still probably better than DeSantis.  And while he may hate cats, at least he didn't kill the family dog unlike Kristi Noem.

And his political positions--shit like putting tracking devices on women of childbearing age--isn't that just pretty standard Republican fare these days?

I guess my point is that all of these people are fucking weird and noxious.  J.D. Vance just seems like he's kind of league average for that party.

This guy can fill you in. 

 

[atomheartbevo 88913]

2 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

YUP.  And he knows this is their last gasp.  If they win, he rides to fascist glory.  If they lose, well he was done anyway.

With how crazy things have been this month, I will not be surprised to wake up Monday morning and find out that the RNC dumped Vance (Trump can say that it wasn't his call, that they "made" him do it, and "you know how these things work, it's their call, I like J.D., I don't know why he's having to leave the ticket, but so be it") in favor of Tim Scott or David Clarke.

[RDCanecutter 25890]

3 hours ago, naija said:

I can't help but think this guy has the beadiest fucking eyes I've seen in a candidate for that office in a long, long time. It's rather striking. 

It's part of his victorious Civil War general physiognomy.

[RDCanecutter 25890]

1 hour ago, Blotto said:

Its probably behind hundreds of obscure porn searches by this point. Trump Assassination vs Donkey Necrophilia. 

As if anyone would ever search for that. That's crazy talk. You better stop now, or you'll just look crazy.

Nobody could ever prove it. YOU HEAR THAT YOU CAN'T PROVE IT.

[tx 3 putt 75227]

 

[atomheartbevo 88913]

The idea of Trump campaigning and completely ignoring his kids’ advice because they gave him somebody the millennials think fucked a couch is hilarious.