JD Vance Fucked 5 couches as a hillbilly

[Js1 85,222]

 

[Planet Houston 4,930]

 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20,387]

If Walz is smart, he goes into a mom and pop donut shop in every town he visits, chats up the amazed/bemused people who work there, puts it all on social media, then a few days before the election rents a donut shop kitchen in Ottumwa, Iowa,  flies all of the workers he's met to Ottumwa, and sponsors a donut-off.  The prize for the winning team is they and their families get to eat breakfast and donuts with Kamala. 

Fuck policy. That's boring. In pre-Idiocracy America, donuts are king.

[Planet Houston 4,930]

8 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

If Walz is smart, he goes into a mom and pop donut shop in every town he visits, chats up the amazed/bemused people who work there, puts it all on social media, then a few days before the election rents a donut shop kitchen in Ottumwa, Iowa,  flies all of the workers he's met to Ottumwa, and sponsors a donut-off.  The prize for the winning team is they and their families get to eat breakfast and donuts with Kamala. 

Fuck policy. That's boring. In pre-Idiocracy America, donuts are king.

Sure, whatever makes sense. 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20,387]

13 minutes ago, Planet Houston said:

Sure, whatever makes sense. 

I mean, this Vance donut shop visit was a catastrophe and could very well be the gift that keeps on giving.

[Derka 6,095]

“okay” and “whatever makes sense” are definitely making their way into my daily vernacular. his repeated use of “okay” reminded me of that half-wit cat killer (and human killer?) from Making a Murderer, just repeating, “yeah” during his phone calls. so creepy.

and then, “whatever makes sense”. yeah, try ordering “whatever makes sense” the next time you pull up to a drive thru or order at a sit down restaurant, and see how people respond. the fact that this was their attempt to humanize him makes it all the more cringey and pathetic. i haven’t watched snl in 20 years, but assuming there’s a new episode this weekend i’ll tune it because they absolutely have to do a sketch on this. the entire interaction was straight out of a sketch comedy show.

[Derka 6,095]

 

[GenXer 2,843]

That is magnificent 

[atomheartbevo 89,587]

Just like Trump, never admit you’re wrong

 

[Bozo_Casanova 26,407]

 

[atomheartbevo 89,587]

[C-Man 27,172]

[4th&Five 41,499]

 

[TexasHooch 5,121]

Oh man, the quote is horrible.  The video is worse.  He couldn't even deliver it.

I can't watch him anymore- even to ridicule him.  It's too uncomfortable.  

[SydneyCarton 47,993]

7 minutes ago, TexasHooch said:

Oh man, the quote is horrible.  The video is worse.  He couldn't even deliver it.

I can't watch him anymore- even to ridicule him.  It's too uncomfortable.  

I think they should just run the part about Hulk Hogan an a digital ad. Just over and over. 

[BrickHorn 18,207]

6 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

 

Sounds like the entire speech was a fucking train wreck. I absolutely love that organized labor is calling bullshit on MAGA. 

[Brisketexan 104,914]

Oh man, the quote is horrible.  The video is worse.  He couldn't even deliver it.
I can't watch him anymore- even to ridicule him.  It's too uncomfortable.  

There are few things cringier than an entirely unfunny person trying to be funny. And Vance is peak…that.

[C-Man 27,172]

There are few things cringier than an entirely unfunny person trying to be funny. And Vance is peak…that.

[atomheartbevo 89,587]

11 hours ago, TexasHooch said:

Oh man, the quote is horrible.  The video is worse.  He couldn't even deliver it.

I can't watch him anymore- even to ridicule him.  It's too uncomfortable.  

5 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

Sounds like the entire speech was a fucking train wreck. I absolutely love that organized labor is calling bullshit on MAGA. 

4 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

There are few things cringier than an entirely unfunny person trying to be funny. And Vance is peak…that.

It's not just that he's unfunny, it's that he's an asshole with no empathy, who has no idea that when he's shit-talking as a VP candidate, he has no idea what people in the audience are going through. When Walz came up there, he was shaking hands and hugging people, and giving shout-outs to firefighters that he knew, and you could tell that not only was he capable of interacting with human beings, he actually wanted to be there!  Fucking Vance never gave off the vibe of wanting to be there, and starting out with the haters comment was the dumbest fucking thing a political candidate could do to a mixed audience. Putting aside that speech, there's been so many times where Vance talks shit (like about the single cat ladies with no kids), and he has no fucking clue about what human beings maybe going through in their lives.

And it's not that fucking hard to learn empathy!

I had a friend who had some little brat mouth off to him while he was waiting to pick up his kid.  The brat had some conflicts in the past with his son over some Minecraft bullshit on some server another kid hosted, but it was dealt with by other parents so my friend never met the brat's parents.  Anyways, that little brat made a comment that my friend had a small bald spot. My friend mentioned that he had had the bald spot for many years, and it hadn't changed in all that time, and the little brat responded with something about "you're going to lose all your hair and people won't like you". My friend kept his cool because it was a little kid at a school, and there were parents around.

The little brat then said my son would probably be bald in high school, which was the second dumbest fucking thing I had heard that day (Trump had him topped) so still keeping my cool, I just responded quietly with "you know what? your mom doesn't mind my little bald spot at all."  The kid got a weird look on his face, thought for a few seconds, and then said "What's that supposed to mean" and I responded with "Ask your mom, but don't ask your dad, just ask your mom, because I know her but I don't know your dad." My thinking was it would confuse him, he might say something to his mom (whom I'd never met) and she might think of somebody else and maybe smile or something, and that would be it. A little joke on my part.

Nope, the little shit said something to his dad. A couple of days later, some mish-mash of a dude who was clearly a tech bro but trying to be country, and who had a pair of knock-off Oakleys on top of a Texas Rangers camo ball cap (yeah, he was a fucking Texas Rangers fan) and a wispy little chin beard/goatee, who worked out a little bit, and probably drove a Ford Super Duty that he probably couldn't properly park so he'd park it out in the boonies of Walmart or HEB across a couple of spots,.  Anyways, he's asking parents about me, somebody points me out to him, he comes over really angry and had clearly wanted to start something until he saw me and/or realized he was surrounded by other parents and kids getting out of school. He asked about "the nonsense that I told his kid" and I briefly played dumb, but fuck it, I told him that his kid somehow found my bald spot funny, and commented to me about it, and that maybe his kid should mind his own business, or maybe comment about his dad's lack of beard-growing prowess so that his dad could put him in his place and he wouldn't openly insult strangers. I told him that having an unfiltered mouth like that would get him beat up in middle school or high school.

He wasn't having any of it and asked me about the comment about his wife.  Inside I'm laughing, but I'm playing it straight and said I made a little joke that went over his head, and that clearly the kid didn't like me because he had a conflict with my son over some Minecraft bullshit. I told him that I didn't know the kid's mom and that he should probably teach his son not to mock other people, given his dad can't even grow a real beard. At this point, the Oakley clones are shaking so hard they are about to fall off of that fucking Texas Rangers cap, and that fucking Rangers hat was  pissing me off, and the guy quietly said "you're saying you don't know my wife and didn't sleep with her?" and inside I'm like "oh fuck, I'm either about to look like the coolest dad to the other kids, or I may end up looking like a bully to the other parents, or both".

I just looked at him and said "if that's what you want me to say, then no, I don't know your wife, and no, I did not sleep with her, and that's the story that we are all agreeing upon, okay?"  I confused the fuck out of him, and he just looked at me, and I said "I see your son has a lot of your genes in him, you should be proud" which confused him even more, but inside I'm like "holy fuck, the dad is dumber than the kid."  He stands there staring at me for a few seconds, and a few parents noticed, and he grabs his son and walks off.  

I looked at a couple of parents who were obviously trying to listen in, and I said "remember that Minecraft drama that spilled over into the classroom last year and caused a bunch of the boys to get made at each other? He was asking me about my son's role in it." and the other parents had a look of boredom come over their face and were like "oh yeah" and just tuned me out.

I think it's over at this point, but nope, a few days later on Monday, a not-unattractive woman in her 40s that I had never seen before talks to a few parents and then comes over to me after somebody pointed my way. She introduces herself as the little shit's mom and the big shit's husband. I was a bit tongue-tied, and just responded "oh yeah, the Minecraft drama from last year."  Her response was  (and it was quiet and she dropped an f-bomb) "I don't know what fucking happened here on Tuesday with my son or Thursday with my husband, but you said something that made my husband think we were sleeping together and my son is asking why I like your bald spot, even though we've never met. I think I've seen you just once or twice at school functions. What is going on?"

I told her "your son was making a joke about my appearance, and I made a joke in return - I didn't insult him because he's a little kid, but I just thought I'd confuse him and have a chuckle, I thought kids understood jokes about their moms were not literal. I didn't know I was going to meet the whole family."  She continued to stare at me, not really in a menacing way, and said "he takes things literally, and thinks I like your bald spot.  What am I supposed to tell him or my husband?  Because for the last few days, my husband has been staying at his mom's.  We were already having problems, because he had to change jobs because he might have cheated on me with his secretary or at least was getting too close to her for his boss's comfort, and we took a hit on our income, and he is now spending too much time with his friends out drinking or watching sports at bars. I'm dealing with some shit and you've managed to escalate things and maybe give him a reason to divorce me if he thinks we are sleeping together."  

At this point, I'm thinking "oh fuck, I could have wrecked that little brat's life" and I said the first thing that came to mind "so are we going to give your husband a reason to divorce you?"  She just stood there looking at me for about 30 seconds, staring holes through me,  just as our kids walked up to us. I told mine to go play on the playground and she told her's to go wait by the bike rack and she'd take him out for some ice cream. Thank God she wasn't making a big scene, and oh fuck me, it's after 3am, I need to get to the point of this story.

Anyways, the point  of this story is that I made a little comment that disturbed a family that I didn't know because some little brat was taking his anger at my son out on me, and I should have just ignored him,  and it's caused them some problems, and in the three days since I learned the damage my comment may have caused, I've grown and learned to be empathetic and that maybe a "your mom likes it" joke is not something you should aim at a bratty 11 year-old who takes things literally.

J.D. Vance on the other hand, has been the VP nominee for 6 weeks, and he's surrounded by a team of people who should be telling him how to be empathetic towards human beings, and he wrote a book about how un-empathetic people supposedly were to his relatives, but nope, he still can't read a room or consider the weight his comments carry when he trashes other people or other lifestyles.

[SydneyCarton 47,993]

18 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

It's not just that he's unfunny, it's that he's an asshole with no empathy, who has no idea that when he's shit-talking as a VP candidate, he has no idea what people in the audience are going through. When Walz came up there, he was shaking hands and hugging people, and giving shout-outs to firefighters that he knew, and you could tell that not only was he capable of interacting with human beings, he actually wanted to be there!  Fucking Vance never gave off the vibe of wanting to be there, and starting out with the haters comment was the dumbest fucking thing a political candidate could do to a mixed audience. Putting aside that speech, there's been so many times where Vance talks shit (like about the single cat ladies with no kids), and he has no fucking clue about what human beings maybe going through in their lives.

And it's not that fucking hard to learn empathy!

I had a friend who had some little brat mouth off to him while he was waiting to pick up his kid.  The brat had some conflicts in the past with his son over some Minecraft bullshit on some server another kid hosted, but it was dealt with by other parents so my friend never met the brat's parents.  Anyways, that little brat made a comment that my friend had a small bald spot. My friend mentioned that he had had the bald spot for many years, and it hadn't changed in all that time, and the little brat responded with something about "you're going to lose all your hair and people won't like you". My friend kept his cool because it was a little kid at a school, and there were parents around.

The little brat then said my son would probably be bald in high school, which was the second dumbest fucking thing I had heard that day (Trump had him topped) so still keeping my cool, I just responded quietly with "you know what? your mom doesn't mind my little bald spot at all."  The kid got a weird look on his face, thought for a few seconds, and then said "What's that supposed to mean" and I responded with "Ask your mom, but don't ask your dad, just ask your mom, because I know her but I don't know your dad." My thinking was it would confuse him, he might say something to his mom (whom I'd never met) and she might think of somebody else and maybe smile or something, and that would be it. A little joke on my part.

Nope, the little shit said something to his dad. A couple of days later, some mish-mash of a dude who was clearly a tech bro but trying to be country, and who had a pair of knock-off Oakleys on top of a Texas Rangers camo ball cap (yeah, he was a fucking Texas Rangers fan) and a wispy little chin beard/goatee, who worked out a little bit, and probably drove a Ford Super Duty that he probably couldn't properly park so he'd park it out in the boonies of Walmart or HEB across a couple of spots,.  Anyways, he's asking parents about me, somebody points me out to him, he comes over really angry and had clearly wanted to start something until he saw me and/or realized he was surrounded by other parents and kids getting out of school. He asked about "the nonsense that I told his kid" and I briefly played dumb, but fuck it, I told him that his kid somehow found my bald spot funny, and commented to me about it, and that maybe his kid should mind his own business, or maybe comment about his dad's lack of beard-growing prowess so that his dad could put him in his place and he wouldn't openly insult strangers. I told him that having an unfiltered mouth like that would get him beat up in middle school or high school.

He wasn't having any of it and asked me about the comment about his wife.  Inside I'm laughing, but I'm playing it straight and said I made a little joke that went over his head, and that clearly the kid didn't like me because he had a conflict with my son over some Minecraft bullshit. I told him that I didn't know the kid's mom and that he should probably teach his son not to mock other people, given his dad can't even grow a real beard. At this point, the Oakley clones are shaking so hard they are about to fall off of that fucking Texas Rangers cap, and that fucking Rangers hat was  pissing me off, and the guy quietly said "you're saying you don't know my wife and didn't sleep with her?" and inside I'm like "oh fuck, I'm either about to look like the coolest dad to the other kids, or I may end up looking like a bully to the other parents, or both".

I just looked at him and said "if that's what you want me to say, then no, I don't know your wife, and no, I did not sleep with her, and that's the story that we are all agreeing upon, okay?"  I confused the fuck out of him, and he just looked at me, and I said "I see your son has a lot of your genes in him, you should be proud" which confused him even more, but inside I'm like "holy fuck, the dad is dumber than the kid."  He stands there staring at me for a few seconds, and a few parents noticed, and he grabs his son and walks off.  

I looked at a couple of parents who were obviously trying to listen in, and I said "remember that Minecraft drama that spilled over into the classroom last year and caused a bunch of the boys to get made at each other? He was asking me about my son's role in it." and the other parents had a look of boredom come over their face and were like "oh yeah" and just tuned me out.

I think it's over at this point, but nope, a few days later on Monday, a not-unattractive woman in her 40s that I had never seen before talks to a few parents and then comes over to me after somebody pointed my way. She introduces herself as the little shit's mom and the big shit's husband. I was a bit tongue-tied, and just responded "oh yeah, the Minecraft drama from last year."  Her response was  (and it was quiet and she dropped an f-bomb) "I don't know what fucking happened here on Tuesday with my son or Thursday with my husband, but you said something that made my husband think we were sleeping together and my son is asking why I like your bald spot, even though we've never met. I think I've seen you just once or twice at school functions. What is going on?"

I told her "your son was making a joke about my appearance, and I made a joke in return - I didn't insult him because he's a little kid, but I just thought I'd confuse him and have a chuckle, I thought kids understood jokes about their moms were not literal. I didn't know I was going to meet the whole family."  She continued to stare at me, not really in a menacing way, and said "he takes things literally, and thinks I like your bald spot.  What am I supposed to tell him or my husband?  Because for the last few days, my husband has been staying at his mom's.  We were already having problems, because he had to change jobs because he might have cheated on me with his secretary or at least was getting too close to her for his boss's comfort, and we took a hit on our income, and he is now spending too much time with his friends out drinking or watching sports at bars. I'm dealing with some shit and you've managed to escalate things and maybe give him a reason to divorce me if he thinks we are sleeping together."  

At this point, I'm thinking "oh fuck, I could have wrecked that little brat's life" and I said the first thing that came to mind "so are we going to give your husband a reason to divorce you?"  She just stood there looking at me for about 30 seconds, staring holes through me,  just as our kids walked up to us. I told mine to go play on the playground and she told her's to go wait by the bike rack and she'd take him out for some ice cream. Thank God she wasn't making a big scene, and oh fuck me, it's after 3am, I need to get to the point of this story.

Anyways, the point  of this story is that I made a little comment that disturbed a family that I didn't know because some little brat was taking his anger at my son out on me, and I should have just ignored him,  and it's caused them some problems, and in the three days since I learned the damage my comment may have caused, I've grown and learned to be empathetic and that maybe a "your mom likes it" joke is not something you should aim at a bratty 11 year-old who takes things literally.

J.D. Vance on the other hand, has been the VP nominee for 6 weeks, and he's surrounded by a team of people who should be telling him how to be empathetic towards human beings, and he wrote a book about how un-empathetic people supposedly were to his relatives, but nope, he still can't read a room or consider the weight his comments carry when he trashes other people or other lifestyles.

 

or

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/

 

[royiv 9,193]

The Aristocrats!

[immamac 42,789]

NGL story would have been better if you fucked that kids mom. 

[BrickHorn 18,207]

That turned out to be a neat story about you, but you forgot to finish telling us what happened to your friend that had a little kid mouth off about his bald spot. 

[6th Street 6,373]

 

 

[The Original Greaser Bob 2,819]

Solution for bratty kids or kids who run in the house knock over drinks:

 

Edited August 30 by The Original Greaser Bob

[Brisketexan 104,914]

2 hours ago, immamac said:

NGL story would have been better if you fucked that kids mom. 

F'n this.

[C-Man 27,172]

'I'm not going to apologize for posting a joke': Vance asked about post featuring Miss Teen USA contestant

https://www.cnn.com/2024/08/30/politics/video/jd-vance-miss-teen-usa-post-digvid

Double down, JD.

[elfenix 34,214]

[BrickHorn 18,207]

I learned today that “JD” is short for “Justwhatever Donutsmakesense.”

[tx 3 putt 76,760]

fuck this fucking cunt ….

[ROFL BOX 6,647]

NSIAP

[DDD Dad 14,311]

On 8/30/2024 at 3:21 AM, atomheartbevo said:

It's not just that he's unfunny, it's that he's an asshole with no empathy, who has no idea that when he's shit-talking as a VP candidate, he has no idea what people in the audience are going through. When Walz came up there, he was shaking hands and hugging people, and giving shout-outs to firefighters that he knew, and you could tell that not only was he capable of interacting with human beings, he actually wanted to be there!  Fucking Vance never gave off the vibe of wanting to be there, and starting out with the haters comment was the dumbest fucking thing a political candidate could do to a mixed audience. Putting aside that speech, there's been so many times where Vance talks shit (like about the single cat ladies with no kids), and he has no fucking clue about what human beings maybe going through in their lives.

And it's not that fucking hard to learn empathy!

I had a friend who had some little brat mouth off to him while he was waiting to pick up his kid.  The brat had some conflicts in the past with his son over some Minecraft bullshit on some server another kid hosted, but it was dealt with by other parents so my friend never met the brat's parents.  Anyways, that little brat made a comment that my friend had a small bald spot. My friend mentioned that he had had the bald spot for many years, and it hadn't changed in all that time, and the little brat responded with something about "you're going to lose all your hair and people won't like you". My friend kept his cool because it was a little kid at a school, and there were parents around.

The little brat then said my son would probably be bald in high school, which was the second dumbest fucking thing I had heard that day (Trump had him topped) so still keeping my cool, I just responded quietly with "you know what? your mom doesn't mind my little bald spot at all."  The kid got a weird look on his face, thought for a few seconds, and then said "What's that supposed to mean" and I responded with "Ask your mom, but don't ask your dad, just ask your mom, because I know her but I don't know your dad." My thinking was it would confuse him, he might say something to his mom (whom I'd never met) and she might think of somebody else and maybe smile or something, and that would be it. A little joke on my part.

Nope, the little shit said something to his dad. A couple of days later, some mish-mash of a dude who was clearly a tech bro but trying to be country, and who had a pair of knock-off Oakleys on top of a Texas Rangers camo ball cap (yeah, he was a fucking Texas Rangers fan) and a wispy little chin beard/goatee, who worked out a little bit, and probably drove a Ford Super Duty that he probably couldn't properly park so he'd park it out in the boonies of Walmart or HEB across a couple of spots,.  Anyways, he's asking parents about me, somebody points me out to him, he comes over really angry and had clearly wanted to start something until he saw me and/or realized he was surrounded by other parents and kids getting out of school. He asked about "the nonsense that I told his kid" and I briefly played dumb, but fuck it, I told him that his kid somehow found my bald spot funny, and commented to me about it, and that maybe his kid should mind his own business, or maybe comment about his dad's lack of beard-growing prowess so that his dad could put him in his place and he wouldn't openly insult strangers. I told him that having an unfiltered mouth like that would get him beat up in middle school or high school.

He wasn't having any of it and asked me about the comment about his wife.  Inside I'm laughing, but I'm playing it straight and said I made a little joke that went over his head, and that clearly the kid didn't like me because he had a conflict with my son over some Minecraft bullshit. I told him that I didn't know the kid's mom and that he should probably teach his son not to mock other people, given his dad can't even grow a real beard. At this point, the Oakley clones are shaking so hard they are about to fall off of that fucking Texas Rangers cap, and that fucking Rangers hat was  pissing me off, and the guy quietly said "you're saying you don't know my wife and didn't sleep with her?" and inside I'm like "oh fuck, I'm either about to look like the coolest dad to the other kids, or I may end up looking like a bully to the other parents, or both".

I just looked at him and said "if that's what you want me to say, then no, I don't know your wife, and no, I did not sleep with her, and that's the story that we are all agreeing upon, okay?"  I confused the fuck out of him, and he just looked at me, and I said "I see your son has a lot of your genes in him, you should be proud" which confused him even more, but inside I'm like "holy fuck, the dad is dumber than the kid."  He stands there staring at me for a few seconds, and a few parents noticed, and he grabs his son and walks off.  

I looked at a couple of parents who were obviously trying to listen in, and I said "remember that Minecraft drama that spilled over into the classroom last year and caused a bunch of the boys to get made at each other? He was asking me about my son's role in it." and the other parents had a look of boredom come over their face and were like "oh yeah" and just tuned me out.

I think it's over at this point, but nope, a few days later on Monday, a not-unattractive woman in her 40s that I had never seen before talks to a few parents and then comes over to me after somebody pointed my way. She introduces herself as the little shit's mom and the big shit's husband. I was a bit tongue-tied, and just responded "oh yeah, the Minecraft drama from last year."  Her response was  (and it was quiet and she dropped an f-bomb) "I don't know what fucking happened here on Tuesday with my son or Thursday with my husband, but you said something that made my husband think we were sleeping together and my son is asking why I like your bald spot, even though we've never met. I think I've seen you just once or twice at school functions. What is going on?"

I told her "your son was making a joke about my appearance, and I made a joke in return - I didn't insult him because he's a little kid, but I just thought I'd confuse him and have a chuckle, I thought kids understood jokes about their moms were not literal. I didn't know I was going to meet the whole family."  She continued to stare at me, not really in a menacing way, and said "he takes things literally, and thinks I like your bald spot.  What am I supposed to tell him or my husband?  Because for the last few days, my husband has been staying at his mom's.  We were already having problems, because he had to change jobs because he might have cheated on me with his secretary or at least was getting too close to her for his boss's comfort, and we took a hit on our income, and he is now spending too much time with his friends out drinking or watching sports at bars. I'm dealing with some shit and you've managed to escalate things and maybe give him a reason to divorce me if he thinks we are sleeping together."  

At this point, I'm thinking "oh fuck, I could have wrecked that little brat's life" and I said the first thing that came to mind "so are we going to give your husband a reason to divorce you?"  She just stood there looking at me for about 30 seconds, staring holes through me,  just as our kids walked up to us. I told mine to go play on the playground and she told her's to go wait by the bike rack and she'd take him out for some ice cream. Thank God she wasn't making a big scene, and oh fuck me, it's after 3am, I need to get to the point of this story.

Anyways, the point  of this story is that I made a little comment that disturbed a family that I didn't know because some little brat was taking his anger at my son out on me, and I should have just ignored him,  and it's caused them some problems, and in the three days since I learned the damage my comment may have caused, I've grown and learned to be empathetic and that maybe a "your mom likes it" joke is not something you should aim at a bratty 11 year-old who takes things literally.

J.D. Vance on the other hand, has been the VP nominee for 6 weeks, and he's surrounded by a team of people who should be telling him how to be empathetic towards human beings, and he wrote a book about how un-empathetic people supposedly were to his relatives, but nope, he still can't read a room or consider the weight his comments carry when he trashes other people or other lifestyles.

 

[Firemans4Horn 18,022]

On 8/30/2024 at 3:21 AM, atomheartbevo said:

It's not just that he's unfunny, it's that he's an asshole with no empathy, who has no idea that when he's shit-talking as a VP candidate, he has no idea what people in the audience are going through. When Walz came up there, he was shaking hands and hugging people, and giving shout-outs to firefighters that he knew, and you could tell that not only was he capable of interacting with human beings, he actually wanted to be there!  Fucking Vance never gave off the vibe of wanting to be there, and starting out with the haters comment was the dumbest fucking thing a political candidate could do to a mixed audience. Putting aside that speech, there's been so many times where Vance talks shit (like about the single cat ladies with no kids), and he has no fucking clue about what human beings maybe going through in their lives.

And it's not that fucking hard to learn empathy!

I had a friend who had some little brat mouth off to him while he was waiting to pick up his kid.  The brat had some conflicts in the past with his son over some Minecraft bullshit on some server another kid hosted, but it was dealt with by other parents so my friend never met the brat's parents.  Anyways, that little brat made a comment that my friend had a small bald spot. My friend mentioned that he had had the bald spot for many years, and it hadn't changed in all that time, and the little brat responded with something about "you're going to lose all your hair and people won't like you". My friend kept his cool because it was a little kid at a school, and there were parents around.

The little brat then said my son would probably be bald in high school, which was the second dumbest fucking thing I had heard that day (Trump had him topped) so still keeping my cool, I just responded quietly with "you know what? your mom doesn't mind my little bald spot at all."  The kid got a weird look on his face, thought for a few seconds, and then said "What's that supposed to mean" and I responded with "Ask your mom, but don't ask your dad, just ask your mom, because I know her but I don't know your dad." My thinking was it would confuse him, he might say something to his mom (whom I'd never met) and she might think of somebody else and maybe smile or something, and that would be it. A little joke on my part.

Nope, the little shit said something to his dad. A couple of days later, some mish-mash of a dude who was clearly a tech bro but trying to be country, and who had a pair of knock-off Oakleys on top of a Texas Rangers camo ball cap (yeah, he was a fucking Texas Rangers fan) and a wispy little chin beard/goatee, who worked out a little bit, and probably drove a Ford Super Duty that he probably couldn't properly park so he'd park it out in the boonies of Walmart or HEB across a couple of spots,.  Anyways, he's asking parents about me, somebody points me out to him, he comes over really angry and had clearly wanted to start something until he saw me and/or realized he was surrounded by other parents and kids getting out of school. He asked about "the nonsense that I told his kid" and I briefly played dumb, but fuck it, I told him that his kid somehow found my bald spot funny, and commented to me about it, and that maybe his kid should mind his own business, or maybe comment about his dad's lack of beard-growing prowess so that his dad could put him in his place and he wouldn't openly insult strangers. I told him that having an unfiltered mouth like that would get him beat up in middle school or high school.

He wasn't having any of it and asked me about the comment about his wife.  Inside I'm laughing, but I'm playing it straight and said I made a little joke that went over his head, and that clearly the kid didn't like me because he had a conflict with my son over some Minecraft bullshit. I told him that I didn't know the kid's mom and that he should probably teach his son not to mock other people, given his dad can't even grow a real beard. At this point, the Oakley clones are shaking so hard they are about to fall off of that fucking Texas Rangers cap, and that fucking Rangers hat was  pissing me off, and the guy quietly said "you're saying you don't know my wife and didn't sleep with her?" and inside I'm like "oh fuck, I'm either about to look like the coolest dad to the other kids, or I may end up looking like a bully to the other parents, or both".

I just looked at him and said "if that's what you want me to say, then no, I don't know your wife, and no, I did not sleep with her, and that's the story that we are all agreeing upon, okay?"  I confused the fuck out of him, and he just looked at me, and I said "I see your son has a lot of your genes in him, you should be proud" which confused him even more, but inside I'm like "holy fuck, the dad is dumber than the kid."  He stands there staring at me for a few seconds, and a few parents noticed, and he grabs his son and walks off.  

I looked at a couple of parents who were obviously trying to listen in, and I said "remember that Minecraft drama that spilled over into the classroom last year and caused a bunch of the boys to get made at each other? He was asking me about my son's role in it." and the other parents had a look of boredom come over their face and were like "oh yeah" and just tuned me out.

I think it's over at this point, but nope, a few days later on Monday, a not-unattractive woman in her 40s that I had never seen before talks to a few parents and then comes over to me after somebody pointed my way. She introduces herself as the little shit's mom and the big shit's husband. I was a bit tongue-tied, and just responded "oh yeah, the Minecraft drama from last year."  Her response was  (and it was quiet and she dropped an f-bomb) "I don't know what fucking happened here on Tuesday with my son or Thursday with my husband, but you said something that made my husband think we were sleeping together and my son is asking why I like your bald spot, even though we've never met. I think I've seen you just once or twice at school functions. What is going on?"

I told her "your son was making a joke about my appearance, and I made a joke in return - I didn't insult him because he's a little kid, but I just thought I'd confuse him and have a chuckle, I thought kids understood jokes about their moms were not literal. I didn't know I was going to meet the whole family."  She continued to stare at me, not really in a menacing way, and said "he takes things literally, and thinks I like your bald spot.  What am I supposed to tell him or my husband?  Because for the last few days, my husband has been staying at his mom's.  We were already having problems, because he had to change jobs because he might have cheated on me with his secretary or at least was getting too close to her for his boss's comfort, and we took a hit on our income, and he is now spending too much time with his friends out drinking or watching sports at bars. I'm dealing with some shit and you've managed to escalate things and maybe give him a reason to divorce me if he thinks we are sleeping together."  

At this point, I'm thinking "oh fuck, I could have wrecked that little brat's life" and I said the first thing that came to mind "so are we going to give your husband a reason to divorce you?"  She just stood there looking at me for about 30 seconds, staring holes through me,  just as our kids walked up to us. I told mine to go play on the playground and she told her's to go wait by the bike rack and she'd take him out for some ice cream. Thank God she wasn't making a big scene, and oh fuck me, it's after 3am, I need to get to the point of this story.

Anyways, the point  of this story is that I made a little comment that disturbed a family that I didn't know because some little brat was taking his anger at my son out on me, and I should have just ignored him,  and it's caused them some problems, and in the three days since I learned the damage my comment may have caused, I've grown and learned to be empathetic and that maybe a "your mom likes it" joke is not something you should aim at a bratty 11 year-old who takes things literally.

J.D. Vance on the other hand, has been the VP nominee for 6 weeks, and he's surrounded by a team of people who should be telling him how to be empathetic towards human beings, and he wrote a book about how un-empathetic people supposedly were to his relatives, but nope, he still can't read a room or consider the weight his comments carry when he trashes other people or other lifestyles.

[ROFL BOX 6,647]

It's not just that he's unfunny, it's that I have a LongCat "bald spot" story

Monday Morning Quarterback: "I meant the kid should ask your wife about an 11 year old kid trying to be a jerk to an adult because it's obvious his dad isn't doing his job."

[Horn Dog 9,788]

From WaPo:

JD Vance writes a rom-com

 

Spoiler

The man was out at a business establishment with his peers and associates, imbibing liquid refreshment and debating which comestibles were best to ingest. Then he saw the female. Even from across the room, he could see that it looked fertile. It had hair protruding on top of its scalp, the appropriate location, and was binocular and ambulatory. It looked as though it contained many fertilizable eggs. Seeing it, he had one immediate thought: He had better tell it about the Great Replacement Theory so that it would understand how imperative it was to combine their genetic material. He also would be sure to state that it reminded him of a beauty pageant contestant (it would understand that this was not demeaning, but the only meaningful compliment it was possible to bestow on a woman). Its eyes were difficult to read, unlike Project 2025, which unwisely had been made available online, but he thought he saw sexual receptivity there. “Now that one looks as though it contains many high-quality eggs,” he observed to one of his associates, who said “Yes!” enthusiastically, as though someone had just proposed a national abortion ban to him. “Like a carton of Eggland’s Best,” the man added, to show that he was one of the people.
 

“With that female’s assistance, in a just system, you could acquire many more votes,” another of his associates observed. “After you reproduce together,” a further associate chimed in, “it will be appropriate for it to enter the teaching profession.” They all nodded. “Not before,” they agreed. The man had recently visited a purveyor of sweet comestibles where he had made lifelike conversation for several full minutes. Now he produced one of the nourishing spheroids that he had purchased there and contemplated it lovingly, as though it were a book arguing that progressives were Unhumans that he had been asked to blurb. “Those are popular in Boston,” one of his associates observed, “almost a secular religion there.” “Secular religion? An appalling contradiction in terms!” the man rebuked him. “If you think religion should be secular, you can go to hell!” (This was the best response to things that other people had not said.) “They dunk them,” the associate muttered into his beverage. “Great, great,” the man said, cutting him off. “I will partially ingest this glazed torus,” he said, ”and then I will go and address the female.”
He strode over, taking steps with the bony protrusions that extended from his ankle joints and were encompassed by the tanned carcasses of two deceased mammals.
 

“It is best for society if I reproduce with you,” he informed the female. “But in your case, in addition to being a duty, it will be a pleasure.” “Thank you,” said the female of childbearing age. Its epidermis glistened faintly, like the exterior of a fresh can of Diet Mountain Dew. “That’s a very normal compliment, and receiving it has made me feel happy, not threatened.” It is possible that the female looked at him with its face but he was not looking there, because he was carefully evaluating its physical form to develop a keener sense of its level of fertility, a behavior that he knew it would understand if it were a rational being — often more than could be expected of such creatures. “I excel at compliments,” he said. “My online friends and associates say so to me often.” “You must have a very high IQ,” the female said, with its mouth. Its teeth looked healthy! “Almost as high as Peter Thiel’s net worth,” he said. “Before I proceed further with my courtship behaviors, I must inquire: Is a feline a member of your household?” He lowered his voice. “That is, do you now possess, or have you ever possessed, a cat?”
 

“A witch’s familiar?” said the female, aghast. “No!” The man exhaled some extra air to demonstrate relief. “That is excellent,” he said, “and I am relieved to hear it. Are there postmenopausal females in your life who can assist in the supervision of offspring, should you produce any?” The female nodded. “Splendid!” the man said. “Splendid. Would you care to engage in holy matrimony and then, perhaps, retire to my abode to copulate and increase our household’s number of votes two- or three- or fivefold?” “Who could say no to such an appealing offer?” the female said. “Would you care to celebrate this informal commitment by ingesting some of my glazed carbohydrate torus?” the man said, bisecting it, breaking off a segment and holding it out so that the female could seize it. “Thank you,” said the female. “Chivalry is not dead.” The man nodded enthusiastically. “I look forward to copulating with you,” he said to the female. “Family is everything.”

 

[burntorangebongos 10,710]

Just greet someone normally, ya fuckin weirdo

 

[Francisco 2.0 32,379]

 

 

 

[Gatorubet 30,175]

On 8/30/2024 at 3:21 AM, atomheartbevo said:

It's not just that he's unfunny, it's that he's an asshole with no empathy, who has no idea that when he's shit-talking as a VP candidate, he has no idea what people in the audience are going through. When Walz came up there, he was shaking hands and hugging people, and giving shout-outs to firefighters that he knew, and you could tell that not only was he capable of interacting with human beings, he actually wanted to be there!  Fucking Vance never gave off the vibe of wanting to be there, and starting out with the haters comment was the dumbest fucking thing a political candidate could do to a mixed audience. Putting aside that speech, there's been so many times where Vance talks shit (like about the single cat ladies with no kids), and he has no fucking clue about what human beings maybe going through in their lives.

And it's not that fucking hard to learn empathy!

I had a friend who had some little brat mouth off to him while he was waiting to pick up his kid.  The brat had some conflicts in the past with his son over some Minecraft bullshit on some server another kid hosted, but it was dealt with by other parents so my friend never met the brat's parents.  Anyways, that little brat made a comment that my friend had a small bald spot. My friend mentioned that he had had the bald spot for many years, and it hadn't changed in all that time, and the little brat responded with something about "you're going to lose all your hair and people won't like you". My friend kept his cool because it was a little kid at a school, and there were parents around.

The little brat then said my son would probably be bald in high school, which was the second dumbest fucking thing I had heard that day (Trump had him topped) so still keeping my cool, I just responded quietly with "you know what? your mom doesn't mind my little bald spot at all."  The kid got a weird look on his face, thought for a few seconds, and then said "What's that supposed to mean" and I responded with "Ask your mom, but don't ask your dad, just ask your mom, because I know her but I don't know your dad." My thinking was it would confuse him, he might say something to his mom (whom I'd never met) and she might think of somebody else and maybe smile or something, and that would be it. A little joke on my part.

Nope, the little shit said something to his dad. A couple of days later, some mish-mash of a dude who was clearly a tech bro but trying to be country, and who had a pair of knock-off Oakleys on top of a Texas Rangers camo ball cap (yeah, he was a fucking Texas Rangers fan) and a wispy little chin beard/goatee, who worked out a little bit, and probably drove a Ford Super Duty that he probably couldn't properly park so he'd park it out in the boonies of Walmart or HEB across a couple of spots,.  Anyways, he's asking parents about me, somebody points me out to him, he comes over really angry and had clearly wanted to start something until he saw me and/or realized he was surrounded by other parents and kids getting out of school. He asked about "the nonsense that I told his kid" and I briefly played dumb, but fuck it, I told him that his kid somehow found my bald spot funny, and commented to me about it, and that maybe his kid should mind his own business, or maybe comment about his dad's lack of beard-growing prowess so that his dad could put him in his place and he wouldn't openly insult strangers. I told him that having an unfiltered mouth like that would get him beat up in middle school or high school.

He wasn't having any of it and asked me about the comment about his wife.  Inside I'm laughing, but I'm playing it straight and said I made a little joke that went over his head, and that clearly the kid didn't like me because he had a conflict with my son over some Minecraft bullshit. I told him that I didn't know the kid's mom and that he should probably teach his son not to mock other people, given his dad can't even grow a real beard. At this point, the Oakley clones are shaking so hard they are about to fall off of that fucking Texas Rangers cap, and that fucking Rangers hat was  pissing me off, and the guy quietly said "you're saying you don't know my wife and didn't sleep with her?" and inside I'm like "oh fuck, I'm either about to look like the coolest dad to the other kids, or I may end up looking like a bully to the other parents, or both".

I just looked at him and said "if that's what you want me to say, then no, I don't know your wife, and no, I did not sleep with her, and that's the story that we are all agreeing upon, okay?"  I confused the fuck out of him, and he just looked at me, and I said "I see your son has a lot of your genes in him, you should be proud" which confused him even more, but inside I'm like "holy fuck, the dad is dumber than the kid."  He stands there staring at me for a few seconds, and a few parents noticed, and he grabs his son and walks off.  

I looked at a couple of parents who were obviously trying to listen in, and I said "remember that Minecraft drama that spilled over into the classroom last year and caused a bunch of the boys to get made at each other? He was asking me about my son's role in it." and the other parents had a look of boredom come over their face and were like "oh yeah" and just tuned me out.

I think it's over at this point, but nope, a few days later on Monday, a not-unattractive woman in her 40s that I had never seen before talks to a few parents and then comes over to me after somebody pointed my way. She introduces herself as the little shit's mom and the big shit's husband. I was a bit tongue-tied, and just responded "oh yeah, the Minecraft drama from last year."  Her response was  (and it was quiet and she dropped an f-bomb) "I don't know what fucking happened here on Tuesday with my son or Thursday with my husband, but you said something that made my husband think we were sleeping together and my son is asking why I like your bald spot, even though we've never met. I think I've seen you just once or twice at school functions. What is going on?"

I told her "your son was making a joke about my appearance, and I made a joke in return - I didn't insult him because he's a little kid, but I just thought I'd confuse him and have a chuckle, I thought kids understood jokes about their moms were not literal. I didn't know I was going to meet the whole family."  She continued to stare at me, not really in a menacing way, and said "he takes things literally, and thinks I like your bald spot.  What am I supposed to tell him or my husband?  Because for the last few days, my husband has been staying at his mom's.  We were already having problems, because he had to change jobs because he might have cheated on me with his secretary or at least was getting too close to her for his boss's comfort, and we took a hit on our income, and he is now spending too much time with his friends out drinking or watching sports at bars. I'm dealing with some shit and you've managed to escalate things and maybe give him a reason to divorce me if he thinks we are sleeping together."  

At this point, I'm thinking "oh fuck, I could have wrecked that little brat's life" and I said the first thing that came to mind "so are we going to give your husband a reason to divorce you?"  She just stood there looking at me for about 30 seconds, staring holes through me,  just as our kids walked up to us. I told mine to go play on the playground and she told her's to go wait by the bike rack and she'd take him out for some ice cream. Thank God she wasn't making a big scene, and oh fuck me, it's after 3am, I need to get to the point of this story.

Anyways, the point  of this story is that I made a little comment that disturbed a family that I didn't know because some little brat was taking his anger at my son out on me, and I should have just ignored him,  and it's caused them some problems, and in the three days since I learned the damage my comment may have caused, I've grown and learned to be empathetic and that maybe a "your mom likes it" joke is not something you should aim at a bratty 11 year-old who takes things literally.

J.D. Vance on the other hand, has been the VP nominee for 6 weeks, and he's surrounded by a team of people who should be telling him how to be empathetic towards human beings, and he wrote a book about how un-empathetic people supposedly were to his relatives, but nope, he still can't read a room or consider the weight his comments carry when he trashes other people or other lifestyles.

That is truly a shit-ton of words for no picture of brat’s mom…

[The Royal We 3,067]

[Huckleberry 32,830]

That's actually pretty good. When someone responds that it's gross you can say "but you're okay with screwing a pooch?"

[High Plains Drifter 11,011]

1 hour ago, Huckleberry said:

That's actually pretty good. When someone responds that it's gross you can say "but you're okay with screwing a pooch?"

 

 "but you're ok with shitting the bed?" works too. 

[Brisketexan 104,914]

1 minute ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

 "but you're ok with shitting the bed?" works too. 

[Thatguy 8,663]

1 hour ago, Huckleberry said:

That's actually pretty good. When someone responds that it's gross you can say "but you're okay with screwing a pooch?"

Or just respond the way JD Vance would..........."OK"

[UTCzech III 2,907]

Whatever makes sense

[Brisketexan 104,914]

1 minute ago, UTCzech III said:

Whatever makes sense

Going back to this....what a fucking bizarre thing to say.  It demonstrates just a complete lack of social skill/currency.

Have I ever ordered a variety of something, and not had set selections of all 12 items or however many, like donuts or cookies or chocolates?  Sure.  What did I say to fill out the box?  Not "whatever makes sense."  It's usually along the lines of "so I need to pick three more -- what are your favorites?" Or "This is your shop, you know what's good -- surprise me, I'm sure I'll love it."  Or "My wife likes donuts with fruit filling or topping - if you have any of those, let's do that.  Always good to make my wife happy."  It's basic fucking social engagement, which is a BYPRODUCT of being able to relate to and empathize with other human beings.

Vance doesn't have that.  Trump doesn't have that.  The MAGA movement doesn't have that.  Relationship with other humans and empathy are the fucking ENEMY to them.  That's how fucking pathetic they are.

[elfenix 34,214]

His "people should get grandma care" answer for the high cost of childcare

 

[Underdog 28,539]

Finally watched the donut shop video and good effing Lord what a dipshit clown. I wish someone would mislead him into thinking the Weiner Circle is Trumpy and we'd all enjoy the massacre. 

Edited September 7 by Underdog

[Bullneck 19,070]

 

 

[C-Man 27,172]

[Thatguy 8,663]