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JD Vance Fucked 5 couches as a hillbilly

Fudge Nuggets

By Fudge Nuggets
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I guess this goes here now

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19445

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The only thing weirder than having sex with a couch, is having a video clip of another dude having sex with that couch.  At least the other two parties are into it.  You're just the guy in the corner with an orange light that could be a cigarette, could be a record button, trying to remain quiet.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 103515

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The only thing weirder than having sex with a couch, is having a video clip of another dude having sex with that couch.  At least the other two parties are into it.  You're just the guy in the corner with an orange light that could be a cigarette, could be a record button, trying to remain quiet.

Case?
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atomheartbevo

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Watters is blowing it wide open - there's going to be a whole lot of MAGA idiots going "why is Watters talking about Vance having sex with a couch?  Wait, did Vance have sex with a couch? Why are all these people talking about him being weird?"

lbj-lyndon-johnson.gif

 

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atomheartbevo

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5 hours ago, BamaATL said:

 I think that was said in regard to Dotard's new found love of crypto, which has to do with the fact that he ripped off his own band of idiots with his NFT crap.  

I don't think he loves crypto, I think he is trying to get the RFK Jr/libertarian vote.

If he was serious, he wouldn't have fucked up that speech to the bitcoin bro so badly - somebody would have written a proper speech.  Instead, he just went in there and thought he could charm them because, you know, he's always the smartest guy in the room.

 

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MrBig

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4 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Watters is blowing it wide open - there's going to be a whole lot of MAGA idiots going "why is Watters talking about Vance having sex with a couch?  Wait, did Vance have sex with a couch? Why are all these people talking about him being weird?"

lbj-lyndon-johnson.gif

 

“Donald Trump’s speeches are the worst thing that’s happened to this country since pantyhose ruined finger fucking.”

-LBJ

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Blotto

Blotto 23245

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It sure would be a bittersweet moment for the GQP if the  Billboard algorithms were hacked in such a way that JD Vance's new smash hit "Fucking my Couch" toppled Tay Tay from the top ranks.

"See, I always knew we  were hip. Yutes love us!"

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atomheartbevo

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2 hours ago, C-Man said:

Jesse Watters makes Don Lemon look like Stephen Hawking.

I can picture it now...

Trump: Why are people talking about Vance fucking a couch and us being weird instead of me getting fucking shot?

Trump staff: Some random person posted something about it and it took off on social media.

Trump: What the fuck are we supposed to do?

Trump staff: Say nothing, let it blow over, don't give oxygen to the fire and in a few days people will be talking about something else.  Maybe we can get you an interview or you go on Hannity to talk about getting shot or your policies or Harris.  Let the Democrats talk about us being weird, our supporters aren't watching their shows, and it'll pass within a few days as long as we don't respond and nobody on Fox News brings it up.

Trump: Okay, sounds good.

Jesse Waters: Why are people talking about J.D. Vance having sex with a couch, and why are Democrats calling Republicans weird?

Trump: *hurls remote at television screen*

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tx ind

tx ind 6872

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1 minute ago, atomheartbevo said:

I can picture it now...

Trump: Why are people talking about Vance fucking a couch and us being weird instead of me getting fucking shot?

Trump staff: Some random person posted something about it and it took off on social media.

Trump: What the fuck are we supposed to do?

Trump staff: Say nothing, let it blow over, don't give oxygen to the fire and in a few days people will be talking about something else.  Maybe we can get you an interview or you go on Hannityl to talk about getting shot or your policies or Harris.  Let the Democrats talk about us being weird, our supporters aren't watching their shows, and it'll pass within a few days as long as we don't respond and nobody on Fox News brings it up.

Trump: Okay, sounds good.

Jesse Waters: Why are people talking about J.D. Vance having sex with a couch, and why are Democrats calling Republicans weird?

Trump: *hurls remote ketchup bottle at television screen*

fify

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C-Man

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https://apnews.com/article/2022-midterm-elections-entertainment-health-175153d8a80d93b2c9c6654a6a730de9

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — When JD Vance founded “Our Ohio Renewal” a day after the 2016 presidential election, he promoted the charity as a vehicle for helping solve the scourge of opioid addiction that he had lamented in “Hillbilly Elegy,” his bestselling memoir.

But Vance shuttered the nonprofit last year and its foundation in May, shortly after clinching the state’s Republican nomination for U.S. Senate, according to state records reviewed by The Associated Press. An AP review found that the charity’s most notable accomplishment — sending an addiction specialist to Ohio’s Appalachian region for a yearlong residency — was tainted by ties among the doctor, the institute that employed her and Purdue Pharma, the manufacturer of OxyContin.

The mothballing of Our Ohio Renewal and its dearth of tangible success raise questions about Vance’s management of the organization. His decision to bring on Dr. Sally Satel is drawing particular scrutiny. She’s an American Enterprise Institute resident scholar whose writings questioning the role of prescription painkillers in the national opioid crisis were published in The New York Times and elsewhere before she began the residency in the fall of 2018.
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MrBig

MrBig 5161

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My sources in the Marines tell me that Vance’s couch fucking got out of control in Iraq when he was tempted by a golden couch at Al-Asad Airbase that was seized from Saddam’s palace. He was made a combat correspondent so no one else could report about Saddam’s couch being molested on a daily basis. Seems like Vance and Trump have a serious affinity for tacky gold furniture. 

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45013

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2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

so awkward. not everyone was meant to run for public office or be in the spotlight.

Tommy Vietor said Vance is like if the comments section on a right wing blog became a person. 

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'stache

'stache 21520

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1 hour ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Phrasing.

 

That face he made is about as human as he is capable of, and it would actually be funny if he was normal and made the joke intentionally, which he might have, but he's just so fucking weird and inauthentic, it doesn't work, lol.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19445

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1 hour ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Phrasing.

 

I think it was his sly attempt at some dark humor at his own expense, but it was horribly delivered and not funny to begin with.  

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 88912

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Do we think Trump keeps Vance around?

I said a few days ago I wouldn't be surprised if Trump ditches him.  Putting aside the couch/weird antics, Vance is not firing anybody up on in the battleground states, and people are starting to take about the name changes and stuff a bit.  Meanwhile, Harris has has multiple people on her VP list that can get the vote out.

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Blotto

Blotto 23245

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4 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

so awkward. not everyone was meant to run for public office or be in the spotlight.

Dude is just dripping with that Desantis rizz.

17 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Do we think Trump keeps Vance around?

I think Trump saw the reversal the Dems made by switching out Joe for Kamala, and will figure he's sure to get a 3X larger bounce, so my guess is he will.

Then he'll accuse JD of being a radical socialist plant sent by that cunning mastermind (but also senile) Sleepy Joe Biden, and only his savvy nature could sniff it out and expose the Dems. And 70 million slack-jawed rubes will nod approvingly and buy some more tacky shit. 

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Dnaguy

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8 hours ago, Blotto said:

Dude is just dripping with that Desantis rizz.

I think Trump saw the reversal the Dems made by switching out Joe for Kamala, and will figure he's sure to get a 3X larger bounce, so my guess is he will.

Then he'll accuse JD of being a radical socialist plant sent by that cunning mastermind (but also senile) Sleepy Joe Biden, and only his savvy nature could sniff it out and expose the Dems. And 70 million slack-jawed rubes will nod approvingly and buy some more tacky shit. 

The best people….

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