Cooking stuff you suck at

[dcbc 14492]

On boiled eggs, here's what I do, and I've always had good results.  I haven't tried the tablespoon or whatever of vinegar in the water, but if you want to, just add it to this procedure.

 

1.  Put eggs in small pot.  

2.  Put enough water in pot to cover eggs.

3.  Cover and bring to a boil.

4.  When the water starts to boil, remove pot from heat and let the eggs sit in the pot of water (still covered) for 15 minutes.

5.  Put eggs in an ice water bath for a minute or two.

6.  Tap the egg all over with the back of a spoon so that the entire surface of the shell is cracked.

7.  Peel the egg under cold running water.  When the water gets under the shell, it will make removing the shell easier.

8.  Enjoy.

[Bevo&Pevo 5208]

Frying chicken just takes too much time.  Makes a big mess with the splatter.  But I still try to make it like Mom.  Dog thinks it's good, though.

[BlueGreySky 1020]

Didn't realize hard boiled eggs were that difficult for many people.  

To be frank I suck at making bechamel and roux.  Not great at baking sweets.

But eggs, with one of these cookers the eggs come out perfectly done (at least the way we do it) and to peel, I just crack on the top of the egg (the orientation it was when in the cooker) and that not only breaks the shell but also the interior membrane that used to give me so much trouble and would cause the shedding of egg white when peeling.  There's enough moisture that I can then peel the egg and membrane off very easily.  Haven't had a botched egg in the last decade since using a cooker like this.

 

[Celery Man 20973]

On 8/14/2024 at 9:36 PM, jimmyjazz said:

Got a crock pot?  1 lb pintos, 9 cups water, 5 tsp salt, whatever onion/garlic/pork you want to add.  8 hours on low.  Voila.  (Wallah.)

Do the beans need to soak first? Would this work for black beans too?

[dcbc 14492]

16 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Do the beans need to soak first? Would this work for black beans too?

I can't speak to the crock pot, but as to the Instant Pot, no soaking required.

[baboso 6056]

Another biscuits and gravy video.  He is right about that spatula with holes in it being a good tool to make a lump free roux/gravy.  Gravy making starts at 12:00.

 

[jimmyjazz 45991]

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Do the beans need to soak first? Would this work for black beans too?

No, I don't soak them when I do the 8 hour crock pot cook.  I seem to recall it working for black beans as well, but we don't tend to cook those as they aren't as popular in our family.  (I like them, but it's not worth the effort, so when I want some I just crack open a can from HEB.)

[Celery Man 20973]

I have a couple of ham hocks left over from making red beans and rice. I’ve never even really liked beans all that much (and certainly don’t know how to cook them) but with kids that changes. I’m envisioning making some easy basic beans, I need to get a recipe for that for enchilada night anyways. May fafo, thanks guys 

[jimmyjazz 45991]

A ham hock would send charro beans over the top.  Do it!

[irishtexan 11522]

On 8/13/2024 at 11:19 PM, Texzilla588 said:

I can make a very good chicken fried steak. I can make killer fried shrimp. I can’t fry chicken for shit. Not tenders. Not chicken fried chicken (my usual dish surrender). I mean real fried chicken, on the bone, with a perfect crackly crust that stays on the meat which is perfectly done yet still moist. I got the recipe and the prep. I marinate in buttermilk seasoned with chili paste, and then dredge I. Seasoned flour then egg wash then seasoned flour again. I dry in a rack. I have a cast iron pot to fry it in. And oil thermometer. And invariably I either end up with burned crust and perfect meat or perfect crust and undercooked chicken.

I know I’ll never be able to play a guitar like Freddie King, so I think I could master decent fried chicken. But so far miserable fails.

First, fry at a lower temperature. Second, you could fry the chicken in oil to the crispiness of your liking (even if it's not up to temp) and then finish in the oven. The downside of that is you lose a bit of crispiness. But to remedy, you could keep the oil hot while the chicken is in the oven and then flash-fry for like 30  seconds right before serving. 

 

[Texzilla588 769]

For those that are bean ignorant, if you are using dry beans of any type you need to sort them. It’s quick but you don’t want to bite down on a rock. I also remove broken beans, split beans, and gnarly looking ones. Wash them as well. They are raw ag products and tend to have some dirt and insect parts in that bag.

It’s a shame Texas children aren’t taught how to make a pot of pinto beans, a mess of collards, and corn bread before they graduate high school. If the shit goes down knowing how to make dry beans edible, turn weeds into food, and making corn bread might be the key to survival like it was in 1866.

[Texzilla588 769]

First, fry at a lower temperature. Second, you could fry the chicken in oil to the crispiness of your liking (even if it's not up to temp) and then finish in the oven. The downside of that is you lose a bit of crispiness. But to remedy, you could keep the oil hot while the chicken is in the oven and then flash-fry for like 30  seconds right before serving. 
 

I like these suggestions. The double fry idea is intriguing. I wonder if instead of a regular oven , putting in the air fryer instead.

The more I look at it this project will wait until I retire. I believe it’s like golf; you gotta play at least once a week to be decent. I won’t do that. Too much mess. I’ll just stick with doing chicken fried chicken.

[gsoda3 3263]

On 9/3/2024 at 3:09 PM, huge said:

after watching that video above I was rushing it, not allowing it to thicken as it simmers, then it would get overly thick.

Then I would add more milk, and finally getting too much gravy that wasn't as flavorful

i was rubbish also at making gravy but what finally helped me was using a medium or medium-low heat and letting it take time to heat up.  also slowly whisking as it heats up helps. 

[Brisketexan 105161]

On 9/3/2024 at 4:10 PM, dcbc said:

On boiled eggs, here's what I do, and I've always had good results.  I haven't tried the tablespoon or whatever of vinegar in the water, but if you want to, just add it to this procedure.

 

1.  Put eggs in small pot.  

2.  Put enough water in pot to cover eggs.

3.  Cover and bring to a boil.

4.  When the water starts to boil, remove pot from heat and let the eggs sit in the pot of water (still covered) for 15 minutes.

5.  Put eggs in an ice water bath for a minute or two.

6.  Tap the egg all over with the back of a spoon so that the entire surface of the shell is cracked.

7.  Peel the egg under cold running water.  When the water gets under the shell, it will make removing the shell easier.

8.  Enjoy.

We don't use the Instant Pot for a lot -- I'm just not a big "lazy, throw it in the crockpot" guy for the most part.  BUT....when we saw the recommendation for hardboiled eggs that are easy to peel, we did it.  Game changer.  Whenever we want hardboiled eggs, that's our go-to.  We just follow the online recipe, and end up with a batch of eggs that we can peel in minutes.  My whole life, I struggled to find the perfect way to make easy-to-peel hardboiled eggs, and finally found it.

[Brisketexan 105161]

As for something I just can't get right....it's a whiskey sauce for bread pudding.  Bread pudding is easy.  But the whiskey sauce is really needed and important.  And when I've tried to make it, either the sugar stays grainy, or I overcook it to get the sugar melted and now the sauce is like a caramel or something.  It frustrates the hell out of me.

And yeah, like many of y'all, baking is not my thing.  Too much science and precision.

[dcbc 14492]

35 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

As for something I just can't get right....it's a whiskey sauce for bread pudding.  Bread pudding is easy.  But the whiskey sauce is really needed and important.  And when I've tried to make it, either the sugar stays grainy, or I overcook it to get the sugar melted and now the sauce is like a caramel or something.  It frustrates the hell out of me.

And yeah, like many of y'all, baking is not my thing.  Too much science and precision.

With the idea that there are no dumb questions, you're putting the whiskey in the sauce and not in you, right?

[tigol 2398]

I have a couple of ham hocks left over from making red beans and rice. I’ve never even really liked beans all that much (and certainly don’t know how to cook them) but with kids that changes. I’m envisioning making some easy basic beans, I need to get a recipe for that for enchilada night anyways. May fafo, thanks guys 

Look for salt pork when you’re at the store. It’s cheap and near the bacon. A chunk of that in a pot of beans is the tits.

Make sure to wash beans and look for rocks before soaking.

[Brisketexan 105161]

43 minutes ago, tigol said:

Look for salt pork when you’re at the store. It’s cheap and near the bacon. A chunk of that in a pot of beans is the tits.

Make sure to wash beans and look for rocks before soaking.

Any salty smoked meat is magic for a pot of beans.

Salt pork, bacon, ham hocks, smoked turkey leg/neck/wings, big chunk of leftover ham, whatever.  For example, one of my favorite things in the world is when the holidays for us (or someone else even) involves a big bone-in ham.  You'd be amazing at how many people would throw away that bone and all the scrap ham on it.  A good pot of post-Easter hambone beans is what is good in life.  And I regularly buy good ham hocks and keep them in the freezer (e.g., if driving through East Bernard, stop at Vinceks and pick up 2-3 of their incredible fresh smoked hocks).  It's always a good time for a pot of beans.

Pintos -- sort and rinse, soak.

Use a little bacon grease to sweat some diced onion and garlic.  Toss in pork.  Toss in beans, cover with water by an inch.  Simmer for 2-3 hours, magic results.  You can add some other seasonings (some chili powder, comino, or whatever else tickles your fancy - maybe a bit more salt, but be careful if your pork is plenty salty), or none at all.  Beans cooked with onion, garlic, and salt pork are damned fine as-is.

[HouTex 1886]

1 hour ago, tigol said:

Look for salt pork when you’re at the store. It’s cheap and near the bacon. A chunk of that in a pot of beans is the tits.

Make sure to wash beans and look for rocks before soaking.

That brings back so many memories.  Our maid growing up, who was like a second mom to me, made the best pinto beans I’ve ever had.  She always used salt pork.  

[jimmyjazz 45991]

You can "power soak" pintos and get them to the pre-cook stage.  Bring them to a boil in a pot, hold for a couple of minutes, turn off the heat, and an hour later they're basically where they would have been soaking overnight.  Proceed with your recipe.

[irishtexan 11522]

You don't even need to soak beans. You can just cook them till their tender. It does take longer though.

[HouTex 1886]

I use the Instapot for beans and they cook more evenly if I presoak them all day.  You can cook them longer but then I seem to get some beans that are fine and others will turn to mush if I don’t presoak.  

[HouTex 1886]

As for the thread title, I usually suck at homemade pie crust.  Sometimes it comes out great but mostly it’s tough and not flaky enough.  And I’ve seen and tried all the tips online and from cooking shows.  Good news is that Pillsbury Already Made pie crusts and even the frozen Mrs. Smith’s are very good.  

[Brisketexan 105161]

17 hours ago, irishtexan said:

You don't even need to soak beans. You can just cook them till their tender. It does take longer though.

Yeah...my momma and grandmas soaked beans, I'mma soak beans.  It's not like it takes a lot of effort -- put beans in pot the night before you want to cook them and....let them soak.

I have made a batch or two in the Instant Pot using the "no soak" method, and they cook really fast (like, total cook and rest time of less than 90 mins?), but it is really hard to get the amount of liquid right, as it doesn't cook down much and concentrate the flavors.  It works if you want to "cook beans fast."  It's not so great if you want to make a delicious pot of beans.

[Texzilla588 769]

Yeah...my momma and grandmas soaked beans, I'mma soak beans.  It's not like it takes a lot of effort -- put beans in pot the night before you want to cook them and....let them soak.
I have made a batch or two in the Instant Pot using the "no soak" method, and they cook really fast (like, total cook and rest time of less than 90 mins?), but it is really hard to get the amount of liquid right, as it doesn't cook down much and concentrate the flavors.  It works if you want to "cook beans fast."  It's not so great if you want to make a delicious pot of beans.

Don’t cook in the soak water. The quick soak works where you boil the soak for a couple minutes and take off heat and soak a few hours.

I will start with a chopped onion and garlic, sweat them in bacon fat, then add smoky ham and get a little Maillard and fat rendered, add a ham bone from the freezer, add water and make a broth. Then add the beans. Season as you wish as you cook.

Obviously it’s best with pintos but works with black beans or blackeyes. Does not work with the abominable red kidney bean which is a spawn of Satan.

[Brisketexan 105161]

27 minutes ago, Texzilla588 said:

Don’t cook in the soak water. The quick soak works where you boil the soak for a couple minutes and take off heat and soak a few hours.

I will start with a chopped onion and garlic, sweat them in bacon fat, then add smoky ham and get a little Maillard and fat rendered, add a ham bone from the freezer, add water and make a broth. Then add the beans. Season as you wish as you cook.

Obviously it’s best with pintos but works with black beans or blackeyes. Does not work with the abominable red kidney bean which is a spawn of Satan.

1 -- of course you toss the soak water.  I've done the quick soak before, I just dig the "don't even need to think about it" overnight soak.  It's effortless.

2 -- agree with all of the other instructions, it really is that simple.  Let the goodness of the hambone and such do their magic.

3 -- fuck off with your denigration of the red bean, the coonass side of my family is a bit fighty about such things.  Also, for my RBAR, I sweat trinity plus garlic, then add the salt pork which includes both hock and sausage.  Otherwise, it's pretty much the same process.  Soak, veggies, salt pork, delicious.

[DalTxHornFan 3108]

"Fast cook" of beans isn't worth it.  May as well open a can of them. 

[jimmyjazz 45991]

38 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

1 -- of course you toss the soak water.  I've done the quick soak before, I just dig the "don't even need to think about it" overnight soak.  It's effortless.

Sure, if you've planned that far ahead.  Point of order:  we rarely figure out what we're eating for dinner by breakfast, so a little time shaving can help.

[Brisketexan 105161]

1 hour ago, jimmyjazz said:

Sure, if you've planned that far ahead.  Point of order:  we rarely figure out what we're eating for dinner by breakfast, so a little time shaving can help.

I hear ya.  For me, that just means that beans are not in the mix on those nights.  They are a "some planning ahead" item.  Of course, on the occasion that I DO set them up to cook during the day, and they require my wife's monitoring of progress and liquid level....well, let's just say that I don't do that anymore.  Kinda ruined my bean pot last time I did so.  

A good pot of beans is usually a weekend thing for me.  But I make a full pot, so we can have them throughout the week (there's just the two of us now).

[jimmyjazz 45991]

I'm telling you, the crockpot method I posted above is legit.  Give it a try.  

[Deej 76846]

On 9/5/2024 at 12:44 PM, tigol said:

Look for salt pork when you’re at the store. It’s cheap and near the bacon. A chunk of that in a pot of beans is the tits.

Make sure to wash beans and look for rocks before soaking.

[Brisketexan 105161]

On 8/14/2024 at 8:36 PM, jimmyjazz said:

Got a crock pot?  1 lb pintos, 9 cups water, 5 tsp salt, whatever onion/garlic/pork you want to add.  8 hours on low.  Voila.  (Wallah.)

That's a "no soak," just pour it all in there and see what happens?  How watery-soupy do they end up?  I don't like a whole lot of extra broth -- I like my beans to cook down to be relatively thick, not a lot of excess liquid.

[Underdog 28738]

I'll have to give the crockpot beans a try myself. 

[jimmyjazz 45991]

15 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

That's a "no soak," just pour it all in there and see what happens?  How watery-soupy do they end up?  I don't like a whole lot of extra broth -- I like my beans to cook down to be relatively thick, not a lot of excess liquid.

A little on the soupy side.  Maybe try 7 cups water?  You just need to make sure they don't dry out during the cook (as with the traditional method).

EDIT:  if you reduce the water, you should probably reduce the salt.  I'd cut it by 1/2 tsp per cup of water you removed.  (By the way, I'm assuming Morton's Kosher Salt.)

Edited September 7 by jimmyjazz

[Braff Zacklin 13628]

On 9/5/2024 at 7:24 AM, jimmyjazz said:

A ham hock would send charro beans over the top.  Do it!

 

On 9/5/2024 at 12:32 PM, Brisketexan said:

Any salty smoked meat is magic for a pot of beans.

Salt pork, bacon, ham hocks, smoked turkey leg/neck/wings, big chunk of leftover ham, whatever.  For example, one of my favorite things in the world is when the holidays for us (or someone else even) involves a big bone-in ham.  You'd be amazing at how many people would throw away that bone and all the scrap ham on it.  A good pot of post-Easter hambone beans is what is good in life.  And I regularly buy good ham hocks and keep them in the freezer (e.g., if driving through East Bernard, stop at Vinceks and pick up 2-3 of their incredible fresh smoked hocks).  It's always a good time for a pot of beans.

Pintos -- sort and rinse, soak.

Use a little bacon grease to sweat some diced onion and garlic.  Toss in pork.  Toss in beans, cover with water by an inch.  Simmer for 2-3 hours, magic results.  You can add some other seasonings (some chili powder, comino, or whatever else tickles your fancy - maybe a bit more salt, but be careful if your pork is plenty salty), or none at all.  Beans cooked with onion, garlic, and salt pork are damned fine as-is.

All of the above. Beans love pork. Check that--beans need pork.

Now I want some refrieds.

[Brisketexan 105161]

On 9/7/2024 at 12:08 PM, Braff Zacklin said:

 

All of the above. Beans love pork. Check that--beans need pork.

Now I want some refrieds.

I WILL say that we regularly have over some dear friends who are jewish.  I will often make beans (because duh, mexican coonass).  I've made a damned fine pot of RBAR using 1) beef sausage and 2) smoked turkey parts (leg, wings).  Like, hard to tell the difference between pork and that recipe.  Smoked turkey is really a great substitute for smoked pork in a pot of beans, pea or lentil soup, etc.

Not that I'm gonna use it if I can use pork, in general.  But it works.  Hell, I have a big smoked turkey leg in the freezer outside that the boy bought to have as a snack when he was here this summer, but he's gone now.  I'll probably use it for just that sort of purpose.

[Braff Zacklin 13628]

25 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I WILL say that we regularly have over some dear friends who are jewish.  I will often make beans (because duh, mexican coonass).  I've made a damned fine pot of RBAR using 1) beef sausage and 2) smoked turkey parts (leg, wings).  Like, hard to tell the difference between pork and that recipe.  Smoked turkey is really a great substitute for smoked pork in a pot of beans, pea or lentil soup, etc.

Not that I'm gonna use it if I can use pork, in general.  But it works.  Hell, I have a big smoked turkey leg in the freezer outside that the boy bought to have as a snack when he was here this summer, but he's gone now.  I'll probably use it for just that sort of purpose.

After the delicious results of making turkey and sausage gumbo last Thanksgiving, I don't doubt your opinion one bit. Turkey just seems to provide a richer broth, and beans love to soak up that flavor.

[lemonlime 5503]

Homemade pasta.  It always comes out disgusting when I try to make it.  Too thick.  Or mealy.  Or just plain off.  I cannot get it to come out okay.

[jimmyjazz 45991]

10 minutes ago, lemonlime said:

Homemade pasta.  It always comes out disgusting when I try to make it.  Too thick.  Or mealy.  Or just plain off.  I cannot get it to come out okay.

I'm gonna go ahead and say it:  in general, I prefer dried pasta to fresh.  Obviously not for the stuffed varieties, but for spaghetti/penne/etc.?  No fresh for me.

[Brisketexan 105161]

34 minutes ago, lemonlime said:

Homemade pasta.  It always comes out disgusting when I try to make it.  Too thick.  Or mealy.  Or just plain off.  I cannot get it to come out okay.

Haven't tried to make homemade pasta, but I've tried to make gnocchi a few times, and it always comes out too dense/gummy because I can't help but overwork the dough.  My folks' housekeeper in Argentina made homemade gnocchi, I even watched her a couple of times to get it down because hers was PERFECT....and I just can't pull it off.  I'm too much of an oaf, I guess.

Homemade pasta intimidates me, and when the boy related that his italian best buddy's family uses mostly dry pasta to make (per the boy) "the best fucking food I've ever had in my life," I'm good with dried pasta.

[dcbc 14492]

I tried making homemade pasta earlier this year and haven't failed so hard at something in the kitchen a long time.  The dogs wouldn't even eat it (just kidding, they ate it).

[Braff Zacklin 13628]

Homemade fettuccine is super easy. Two heaping spoonfuls of semolina flour and one egg per person. Salt to taste. Those are actually all the ingredients you need.

Blend by hand, with a stand mixer or a food processor. Turn out on a floured surface and continue flouring as you roll it thin. Once you've achieved the desired thickness, roll the entire sheet of pasta into a thin tube and then slice into strips. Unroll the strips and boil for about a minute. Then, add them directly to whatever sauce you have made in a skillet. The undercooked pasta will soak up some of the sauce yet remain al dente as long as you don't overcook.

Shrimp scampi with fresh fettuccine is a snap and will impress anyone lucky enough to dine with you that evening.

[Underdog 28738]

Idontbelieveyou.GIF

 

[Rip76 4946]

Perfect over medium eggs.

I can't do it, and I don't know why.

[jimmyjazz 45991]

23 minutes ago, Rip76 said:

Perfect over medium eggs.

I can't do it, and I don't know why.

By "over medium" do you mean "flipped once"?  Have you tried a lid on the skillet to steam the tops while the eggs cook?

[Rip76 4946]

Just now, jimmyjazz said:

By "over medium" do you mean "flipped once"?  Have you tried a lid on the skillet to steam the tops while the eggs cook?

Yes, and the yolk is still runny but not as runny as sunny side up.  Flipped once.

I will try the lid idea.

[Brisketexan 105161]

27 minutes ago, Rip76 said:

Perfect over medium eggs.

I can't do it, and I don't know why.

Secret: small, shallow pan, with a lid, med-low heat.  That's how my wife likes her eggs, and I make breakfast for her on the weekend.  Heat the pan, think a 3-4 out of 10 on heat, leaning toward the 4.  Melt sufficient butter to cover bottom of pan.  Crack two eggs in the pan (the pan should be the size that the two eggs cover the bottom of the pan - mine is a Calphalon 8 inch pan), cover (glass lid is really best, because you can watch them as they cook - the Calphalon space-saving pans have a great glass lid).  As SOON as the tops of the yolks take on a light white color (almost looks like a film covering the yolk), they're done.  Remove the lid, and immediately slide the eggs onto the plate.  Perfect over-medium every time.

Edited September 9 by Brisketexan

[jimmyjazz 45991]

1 minute ago, Rip76 said:

Yes, and the yolk is still runny but not as runny as sunny side up.  Flipped once.

I will try the lid idea.

I cook mine w/o flipping with the lid and a splash of water until the yolks just get hazy.  They're slightly runny on the plate.  Perfect, in my mind.

[Brisketexan 105161]

1 minute ago, Rip76 said:

Yes, and the yolk is still runny but not as runny as sunny side up.  Flipped once.

I will try the lid idea.

If you watch a diner with a griddle, they'll often crack eggs onto the griddle, then top with a small pan lid.  The lid trapping the heat cooks the top of the eggs just enough to let you get the yolk exactly as you like it.  The difference between runny sunny side up and hard fried is probably less than 90 seconds, though.  Gotta pay attention.

[Rip76 4946]

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

Secret: small, shallow pan, with a lid, med-low heat.  That's how my wife likes her eggs, and I make breakfast for her on the weekend.  Heat the pan, think a 3-4 out of 10 on heat, leaning toward the 4.  Melt sufficient butter to cover bottom of pan.  Crack two eggs in the pan (the pan should be the size that the two eggs cover the bottom of the pan - mine is a Calphalon 8 inch pan), cover (glass lid is really best, because you can watch them as they cook - the Calphalon space-saving pans have a great glass lid).  As SOON as the tops of the yolks take on a light white color (almost looks like a film covering the yolk), they're done.  Remove the lid, and immediately slide the eggs onto the plate.  Perfect over-medium every time.

Right on.  Smallest I have is an 10" cast iron.

I will check out the 8".

Just now, Brisketexan said:

If you watch a diner with a griddle, they'll often crack eggs onto the griddle, then top with a small pan lid.  The lid trapping the heat cooks the top of the eggs just enough to let you get the yolk exactly as you like it.  The difference between runny sunny side up and hard fried is probably less than 90 seconds, though.  Gotta pay attention.

I believe Waffle House does the lid on the flat top too.