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2018 Longhorns Fall Practice/Football Season Thread


Tex Pete

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7 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Shit, Herman was telling anyone who would listen before last season that that team was going to win 10+ games. The assistant coaches were doing the same. Recruits heard it. I'm guessing it was framed to players in some form too. They were getting high huffing those homegrown farts.

It's weird, but when you:

-beat the fuck out of your team during the high Texas heat as physically as possible for an entire August and

-put a dumbfuck with no pedigree in charge of the offensive line and let him de-optimize the personnel arrangement and 

-put a hipster fucktard in charge of your most talented offensive unit and let him openly shout down and humiliate that unit in front of the team daily and 

-put a mouthbreathing troglodyte in charge of the overall offensive planning and playcalling and

-publicly marginalize your most prominent defensive leader and

-constantly question the talent and desire of all of the upperclass talent on the team and

-focus everyone on piss color and

-force half the team to eat purposely shitty food every day and

-not spend one fucking day prepping or planning for your week one opponent ... then you might wind up looking overrated and overconfident.

So, this year...

-it seems like Herman will tone down practices a little bit towards the end

-the dumbfuck is coaching TEs now

-the hipster fucktard is being babysat by Meekins (I hope)

-the troglodyte is still there.

-the defensive leader is... Hager? Looks like all hugs and kisses there, publicly

-he's publicly saying there's near-full buy-in, who knows what he's saying privately

-there's been no talk of piss color, in fact we've already had multiple players with dehydration issues

-is the burnt toast and runny eggs thing still happening for players?

-I figure they're not going to skip game-planning for Maryland this time around

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6 hours ago, Machinator said:

IT Kool-Aid team notes

 

  Hide contents

 

Collin Johnson versus Kris Boyd serves as a microcosm of the give and take nature of camp thus far. Both Johnson and Boyd are making their share of plays on each other. From a baseline talent standpoint, that's early round NFL on early round NFL.

 

 

I really want Collin to live up to the hype, but right now there's no way he's an early round selection. He's wildly inconsistent and will prob lay an egg on the 40 at combine. Reminds me of a thinner Auden Tate. 

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10 minutes ago, GRHorn said:

I really want Collin to live up to the hype, but right now there's no way he's an early round selection. He's wildly inconsistent and will prob lay an egg on the 40 at combine. Reminds me of a thinner Auden Tate. 

Five WRs measured in at 6 4 1/2" or taller at the Combine: Equanimeous St. Brown, Auden Tate, Allen Lazard, Jaleel Scott, and Marcell Ateman. Take a look at where they were drafted. The NFL wants guys who can separate, just being a jump ball winner doesn't get you drafted high anymore.

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I honestly laughed out loud reading this optimism from you guys and the $9.95ers regarding Kirk Johnson. That dude is made of glass. He’ll be down with a mysterious injury that sidelines him for the season within the next 2 weeks. 
This is how I felt about Jordan Shipley.
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7 minutes ago, Snacks said:
On 8/5/2018 at 4:42 PM, closetojumping said:
 
I honestly laughed out loud reading this optimism from you guys and the $9.95ers regarding Kirk Johnson. That dude is made of glass. He’ll be down with a mysterious injury that sidelines him for the season within the next 2 weeks. 

This is how I felt about Jordan Shipley.

Fuck it. I'll take similar outcomes, I just don't expect it. I also felt this way about Shipley, Scaife, and Fozzy.

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2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Shit, Herman was telling anyone who would listen before last season that that team was going to win 10+ games. The assistant coaches were doing the same. Recruits heard it. I'm guessing it was framed to players in some form too. They were getting high huffing those homegrown farts.

It's weird, but when you:

-beat the fuck out of your team during the high Texas heat as physically as possible for an entire August and

-put a dumbfuck with no pedigree in charge of the offensive line and let him de-optimize the personnel arrangement and 

-put a hipster fucktard in charge of your most talented offensive unit and let him openly shout down and humiliate that unit in front of the team daily and 

-put a mouthbreathing troglodyte in charge of the overall offensive planning and playcalling and

-publicly marginalize your most prominent defensive leader and

-constantly question the talent and desire of all of the upperclass talent on the team and

-focus everyone on piss color and

-force half the team to eat purposely shitty food every day and

-not spend one fucking day prepping or planning for your week one opponent ... then you might wind up looking overrated and overconfident.

you forgot: proudly boasting that they didn't watch any game film from the prior year. 

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2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Shit, Herman was telling anyone who would listen before last season that that team was going to win 10+ games. The assistant coaches were doing the same. Recruits heard it. I'm guessing it was framed to players in some form too. They were getting high huffing those homegrown farts.

It's weird, but when you:

-beat the fuck out of your team during the high Texas heat as physically as possible for an entire August and

-put a dumbfuck with no pedigree in charge of the offensive line and let him de-optimize the personnel arrangement and 

-put a hipster fucktard in charge of your most talented offensive unit and let him openly shout down and humiliate that unit in front of the team daily and 

-put a mouthbreathing troglodyte in charge of the overall offensive planning and playcalling and

-publicly marginalize your most prominent defensive leader and

-constantly question the talent and desire of all of the upperclass talent on the team and

-focus everyone on piss color and

-force half the team to eat purposely shitty food every day and

-not spend one fucking day prepping or planning for your week one opponent ... then you might wind up looking overrated and overconfident.

It’s hard to see through the kool-aid pissing of the pre-season but I don’t think much has changed. 

 

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28 minutes ago, Kevin O’Shea said:

Some poster pretended to kill himself on Orangebloods but was found alive and people had donated to his family. Is there a thread discussing this? 

They really do get all their info from us

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3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Shit, Herman was telling anyone who would listen before last season that that team was going to win 10+ games. The assistant coaches were doing the same. Recruits heard it. I'm guessing it was framed to players in some form too. They were getting high huffing those homegrown farts.

It's weird, but when you:

-beat the fuck out of your team during the high Texas heat as physically as possible for an entire August and

-put a dumbfuck with no pedigree in charge of the offensive line and let him de-optimize the personnel arrangement and 

-put a hipster fucktard in charge of your most talented offensive unit and let him openly shout down and humiliate that unit in front of the team daily and 

-put a mouthbreathing troglodyte in charge of the overall offensive planning and playcalling and

-publicly marginalize your most prominent defensive leader and

-constantly question the talent and desire of all of the upperclass talent on the team and

-focus everyone on piss color and

-force half the team to eat purposely shitty food every day and

-not spend one fucking day prepping or planning for your week one opponent ... then you might wind up looking overrated and overconfident.

Aren’t you supposed to end that with “get off my damn lawn!!!”? 

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6 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

Practice reports the last few years have actually made me less enthusiastic and come down from the ever increasing kool-aid drip that is the offseason.  Just when I become convinced we’re back there’s always something to remind me about how far off the overall talent level is from when we were good, like:

“Oh, Jake McMillon is our best interior lineman after being converted from 4th string DE?  And Zach Shackelford, low 3 star true freshman, is an automatic day 1 starter at center? Ah, I’m sure it’s fine.”

”Wow, Cal’s backup RB coming off an ACL tear is noticeably more explosive than our RBs and is going to be our homerun hitter.” 

“In a practice report meant to be sunshine pumping, the line about how improved our TEs are says (1) they aren’t good at pass blocking, (2) they “battle” and try hard at run blocking, and (3) absolutely nothing at all about catching passes.  Hmm ... sounds like the next Tony Gonzalez to me!”

 

Amen.  I will believe we are back where we need to be at the end of our second consecutive 9 or 10 win season.

Fool me once, shame on you.   Fool me 8 times... won't be fooled again!

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1 hour ago, Kevin O’Shea said:

Some poster pretended to kill himself on Orangebloods but was found alive and people had donated to his family. Is there a thread discussing this? 

Ha youve got to love boomers.

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1 hour ago, jinx said:

Amen.  I will believe we are back where we need to be at the end of our second consecutive 9 or 10 win season.

Fool me once, shame on you.   Fool me 8 times... won't be fooled again!

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, we won't get fooled again.

Right now we're 0-12, until we're not.

Destroy Maryland, zero fucks given.  Happy yes.  Fucks given, Zed. Aught.

Destroy Condom, a couple of fucks given. Moar happy.  Kook-aid remains unsweetened.

Go to Fair Park undefeated, then fucks will remain rationed, but consumable.

 

I plan on finding most of my football joy in September from the prem, and aggy rapings.

 

Time to win.  Fucks given must be earned henceforward.

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1 hour ago, Hagbard Celine said:

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, we won't get fooled again.

Right now we're 0-12, until we're not.

Destroy Maryland, zero fucks given.  Happy yes.  Fucks given, Zed. Aught.

Destroy Condom, a couple of fucks given. Moar happy.  Kook-aid remains unsweetened.

Go to Fair Park undefeated, then fucks will remain rationed, but consumable.

 

I plan on finding most of my football joy in September from the prem, and aggy rapings.

 

Time to win.  Fucks given must be earned henceforward.

Im gonna need to hear more about this kook-aid

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15 hours ago, Bobby_Batronic said:

I predicted that he would have playcalling stripped in year two and be fired by year three when Beck’s hire was announced. This four game run may accelerate that timeline. 

I think we will need to win at least 1 of those games for Beck to keep his playcalling duties. If we go winless, Herman will be forced to make a change. 

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9 minutes ago, 6th Street said:

I think we will need to win at least 1 of those games for Beck to keep his playcalling duties. If we go winless, Herman will be forced to make a change. 

If the losses start to pile up Herman will need a scapegoat. Probably a better way to phrase that is, Herman will be forced to recognize what 90% of us have seen all along. And act on it.

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1 hour ago, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

I like either Tito's or if one of my buddies has visited from Korea recently, soju.

I'm all about Texas spirits but c'mon man. 

12 minutes ago, 6th Street said:

I think we will need to win at least 1 of those games for Beck to keep his playcalling duties. If we go winless, Herman will be forced to make a change. 

If we go through that stretch with only 1 win and then Herman makes a change, 3 and out will likely happen. 

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21 minutes ago, BigHorn'13 said:

I'm all about Texas spirits but c'mon man. 

If we go through that stretch with only 1 win and then Herman makes a change, 3 and out will likely happen. 

Dude, you don't like Tito's? I'm sad to say I've drank plenty of vodka from all over the world, and Tito's is about as good as it gets. This isn't brown water, where the gap is massive between okay and greatness. For vodka, there's rot gut and then whatever smoothness you can find without a hangover up to $40/handle. If you're spending more than that you're lighting it on fire and less than $20 is guaranteeing pain. Tito's sits firmly in the "fine, smooth, limited pain in some moderation" arena, which should work for any of us.

What thread were we on again?

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Dude, you don't like Tito's? I'm sad to say I've drank plenty of vodka from all over the world, and Tito's is about as good as it gets. This isn't brown water, where the gap is massive between okay and greatness. For vodka, there's rot gut and then whatever smoothness you can find without a hangover up to $40/handle. If you're spending more than that you're lighting it on fire and less than $20 is guaranteeing pain. Tito's sits firmly in the "fine, smooth, limited pain in some moderation" arena, which should work for any of us.

What thread were we on again?

Tito's is good and yes the really cheap stuff will do you wrong outside of moderation, (and who does that on gameday?) but you can find vodka that does the job without biting you in the ass for $20-25 bottle. The expensive designer shit is a waste of money imo..vodka really shouldn't have a strong taste and the flavored stuff is for women and children.

 

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8 minutes ago, ousux said:
14 minutes ago, closetojumping said:
Dude, you don't like Tito's? I'm sad to say I've drank plenty of vodka from all over the world, and Tito's is about as good as it gets. This isn't brown water, where the gap is massive between okay and greatness. For vodka, there's rot gut and then whatever smoothness you can find without a hangover up to $40/handle. If you're spending more than that you're lighting it on fire and less than $20 is guaranteeing pain. Tito's sits firmly in the "fine, smooth, limited pain in some moderation" arena, which should work for any of us.
What thread were we on again?

Tito's is good and the really cheap stuff will do you wrong outside of moderation, (and who does that on gameday?) but you can find vodka that does the job without biting you in the ass for $20-25 bottle. The expensive designer shit is a waste of money imo..

You're probably right, but as a rule, I don't bargain shop on booze. I'm old enough that I don't have to that any more, and in my 40's with 5 kids and being a fan of UT sports over the past few years, I need my booze to be right. I'll end my part of the semi-thread derail now. 

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10 minutes ago, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

Discussing our drinks of choice for the football season is part of the lead up to the football season, so I dont really count it as a thread derail. Especially when there isn't shit else going on in the thread to speak of.

I normally stick to shiner bock though.

Speaking of brown water...just kidding.

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51 minutes ago, thrillhammer said:

it's reasonable to see them win 0 out of 4, 1 out of 4, 2 out of 4, 3 out of 4, or 4 out of 4.  none of these outcomes would surprise me.

Last year I was convinced that we would win one of USC, TCU, OU, OSU. 4 chances at top teams, we would have to win at least one right? I learned my lesson. I'm in the same boat as you now because the team is so inconsistent on a quarter-to-quarter basis. 

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10 minutes ago, Bodacious Bevo said:

Last year I was convinced that we would win one of USC, TCU, OU, OSU. 4 chances at top teams, we would have to win at least one right? I learned my lesson. I'm in the same boat as you now because the team is so inconsistent on a quarter-to-quarter basis. 

Well...we were close on three of them. 

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