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Week Two Preview: The Empire Strikes Back


texifornia

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2 minutes ago, BigHornedLurker said:

call me crazy, i think Boise vs Oregon could be a fun spoiler. Oregon did not look up to their bar, and struggled a good portion of their game. 

If they stall early again, Boise has a chance to do something real funny 

Missed it because it's only airing on Peacock at 10/9. Woof, that matchup deserves better.

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Regarding SMU, it's funny listening to the various pundits talk up the FSU @ SMU conference game coming up in a few weeks. "Don't you just know that those SMU fans are thirsty to show off their newfound significance against one of the biggest brands in CFB?" -- Uhh, no, I don't know that. 

Regarding the Duke@NW game, NW plays really salty defense. I'm interested in seeing if Murphy has developed any when it comes to reading a defense, or if he's just going to throw 3 picks and watch Duke lose this game, 20-13.

On Saturday early games:

-Ga Tech @ Syracuse should be a good game and tell us more about the ACC and how it will shake out. If Ga Tech wins this game, someone has to start taking them seriously, right? If Syracuse wins this game, they have a shot at being 5-0 heading to NC State. The QB play in this game should also be really good. 

-I expect KSU to beat Tulane like a borrowed mule.

-I'll be cheering for Okie State to beat Arkansas, unapologetically. I despise Arkansas and their "only one game matters" jihad bullshit. I've always liked Gundy and his post game presser comments this weekend cracked me up. Hopefully he doesn't Gundy this up. If Texas faces a walking dead coaching staff against Arkansas in November, so much the better for us. 

Saturday afternoon games:

-Northern Illinois seems like they're good for one decent appearance as a non-conference underdog every year or two. Maybe they play ND close?

-The total in the Iowa/Iowa State game is 35.5. Seems like a lot for these two, but they have gone over 35.5 in 9 of the last 15 battles. This game has caused me to nod off on a handful of occasions, against my will. 

-How can you continue to leave Biff Poggi off of your watch list? The Charlotte Whatevers had their asses handed to them against James Madison at home last week. Poggi grabbed his starting QB, tucked his head firmly underneath his hairy, sweat-soaked underarm, and proceeded to noogie the shit out of him late in the 4th quarter. These guys are going to show up terrified and angry to play the Fighting Mack Browns.

-The UTSA/Texas State should be really interesting and likely features two postseason teams. 

Saturday Evening games:

-South Florida is getting 31 points playing at Bama. South Florida is not a bad team and, as we all know, played Bama tight last year. I'm not predicting an upset, but I do think there's more to learn about Bama this week than last week. 

-Everyone is predicting a big win for Nebraska versus CU. I'm preparing for the inevitable CU absurd victory and for the "Coach Prime" hype to erupt all over again. 

-OU continues to really test themselves in the non-con with a very manly match-up against UH. Right. Fucking pathetic. They're certainly going to be fully prepped when Tennessee comes to town. 

-Upset alert feels real in the App State @ Clemson game. I don't say that just because App State has played the role of giant killer historically. They're simply also supposed to be a top G5 team this year. Beyond that, I don't really see what merits the notion that Clemson is just going to throw their hats on the field and get the W. 

-Boise State @ Oregon late is another one that suddenly looks worthy of a watch. Oregon couldn't get out of their own way last week. Have they cleaned that up? 

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3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Regarding SMU, it's funny listening to the various pundits talk up the FSU @ SMU conference game coming up in a few weeks. "Don't you just know that those SMU fans are thirsty to show off their newfound significance against one of the biggest brands in CFB?" -- Uhh, no, I don't know that. 

Regarding the Duke@NW game, NW plays really salty defense. I'm interested in seeing if Murphy has developed any when it comes to reading a defense, or if he's just going to throw 3 picks and watch Duke lose this game, 20-13.

On Saturday early games:

-Ga Tech @ Syracuse should be a good game and tell us more about the ACC and how it will shake out. If Ga Tech wins this game, someone has to start taking them seriously, right? If Syracuse wins this game, they have a shot at being 5-0 heading to NC State. The QB play in this game should also be really good. 

-I expect KSU to beat Tulane like a borrowed mule.

-I'll be cheering for Okie State to beat Arkansas, unapologetically. I despise Arkansas and their "only one game matters" jihad bullshit. I've always liked Gundy and his post game presser comments this weekend cracked me up. Hopefully he doesn't Gundy this up. If Texas faces a walking dead coaching staff against Arkansas in November, so much the better for us. 

Saturday afternoon games:

-Northern Illinois seems like they're good for one decent appearance as a non-conference underdog every year or two. Maybe they play ND close?

-The total in the Iowa/Iowa State game is 35.5. Seems like a lot for these two, but they have gone over 35.5 in 9 of the last 15 battles. This game has caused me to nod off on a handful of occasions, against my will. 

-How can you continue to leave Biff Poggi off of your watch list? The Charlotte Whatevers had their asses handed to them against James Madison at home last week. Poggi grabbed his starting QB, tucked his head firmly underneath his hairy, sweat-soaked underarm, and proceeded to noogie the shit out of him late in the 4th quarter. These guys are going to show up terrified and angry to play the Fighting Mack Browns.

-The UTSA/Texas State should be really interesting and likely features two postseason teams. 

Saturday Evening games:

-South Florida is getting 31 points playing at Bama. South Florida is not a bad team and, as we all know, played Bama tight last year. I'm not predicting an upset, but I do think there's more to learn about Bama this week than last week. 

-Everyone is predicting a big win for Nebraska versus CU. I'm preparing for the inevitable CU absurd victory and for the "Coach Prime" hype to erupt all over again. 

-OU continues to really test themselves in the non-con with a very manly match-up against UH. Right. Fucking pathetic. They're certainly going to be fully prepped when Tennessee comes to town. 

-Upset alert feels real in the App State @ Clemson game. I don't say that just because App State has played the role of giant killer historically. They're simply also supposed to be a top G5 team this year. Beyond that, I don't really see what merits the notion that Clemson is just going to throw their hats on the field and get the W. 

-Boise State @ Oregon late is another one that suddenly looks worthy of a watch. Oregon couldn't get out of their own way last week. Have they cleaned that up? 

Why should we take Georgia Tech seriously given how bad Florida St is? They’re too one dimensional

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16 minutes ago, Sal said:

Why should we take Georgia Tech seriously given how bad Florida St is? They’re too one dimensional

Ga Tech was a popular pick to be upset this weekend and all they did was cover and smother their opponent. Santucci is proving to be a decent to excellent DC, they have a mobile qb, a good OL and a proven running game. Further, they play in the ACC, which looks like its usual dogshit. I'm not calling for Ga Tech to go 11-1, but I've believed they're a decent team and have posted as much during the offseason. In the ACC, the gap between going 7-5 and 11-1 is slim. That considered, they have one of the toughest schedules in CFB, so I'm expecting more 7-5 than 11-1.

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14 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Ga Tech was a popular pick to be upset this weekend and all they did was cover and smother their opponent. Santucci is proving to be a decent to excellent DC, they have a mobile qb, a good OL and a proven running game. Further, they play in the ACC, which looks like its usual dogshit. I'm not calling for Ga Tech to go 11-1, but I've believed they're a decent team and have posted as much during the offseason. In the ACC, the gap between going 7-5 and 11-1 is slim. That considered, they have one of the toughest schedules in CFB, so I'm expecting more 7-5 than 11-1.

Santucci turning out to be much more than Elko's sock puppet in the booth is really funny given how much he drove A&M fans up the wall.

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On 9/3/2024 at 12:46 PM, texifornia said:

Defending champion with the best helmets in college football hosting the wide-awake giant wearing the best uniform in college football.

Not sure how they can claim "best helmet" when it's identical to the Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens!

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1 hour ago, TxEx84 said:

Not sure how they can claim "best helmet" when it's identical to the Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens!

 

1 hour ago, Zeus said:

image.thumb.png.148a89341f9939fb2d5ee3995b3ef8ab.pngLooks retarded

 

On 9/3/2024 at 12:46 PM, texifornia said:

What a great fucking weekend it was for Texas - we finally mudholed a decent G5 the way we should, OU looked wonky, A&M, LSU, and FSU (twice!) all lost. Just gorgeous.

No Thursday slate so people can watch bland corporate NFL football product, so we start on Friday. I'm working off the Coaches' Poll since the AP isn't out yet.

Friday games

BYU @ SMU (7/6 ESPN2)
BYU fans can't wait to finally fire Sitake. SMU looked really bad in Reno. One of the most sedate home crowds in football. GET EXCITED FOR SOME P4 ACTION!

Duke @ Northwestern (9/8 FS1)
Nighttime action on Lake Michigan. Maalik and the Duke WRs did not look like they'd had much time to practice together against Elon. This will be a stiffer test. NWU won a disgusting 13-6 battle against Miami of Ohio last week. At least the stadium is pretty.

Saturday games

#3 Texas @ #9 Michigan (12/11 FOX)
Blueblood vs. blueblood at the Big House. Defending champion with the best helmets in college football hosting the wide-awake giant wearing the best uniform in college football. What more could you want?

Arkansas @ #17 Oklahoma State (12/11 ABC)
The Fightin' Gundies should blow arky out and get the Fire Pittman train another few miles down the track, but it's an early season OOC game and that is not always Gundy's style.

#16 Kansas State @ Tulane (12/11 ESPN)
Is K-State for real? Is Tulane the same without Fritz? For an undercard, this has some spice.

-

Iowa State @ #21 Iowa (3:30/2:30 CBS)
El Assico is BACK. It's a bad tempered rivalry full of shitty football and Matt Campbell repeatedly shooting himself in the dick. Enjoy the hate while most of us are hopefully basking in sweet victory.

Cal @ Auburn (3:30/2:30 ESPN2)
Has Hugh Freeze fixed Auburn and Peyton Thorne (remember when Diego Pavia and NMSU beat him last year? That was awesome)? Or do we get to see a competent (well, kind of, they struggled with UC Davis) Cal start their round-the-world airmiles extravaganza with a win on the Plains?

South Carolina @ Kentucky (3:30/2:30 ABC) and Baylor @ Utah (3:30/2:30 FOX) should be embarrassing blowouts. Still, Baylor losing is always a great time.

A mid-slot kickoff to watch is Marshall @ VaTech (4:30/3:30 CW) to see if the Hokies will let Vandy (hey, it's Diego Pavia again) beat them twice.

-

#23 NC State vs. #12 Tennessee @ Charlotte (7:30/6:30 ABC)
State looked like hammered dogshit against Western Carolina (the pride of Cullowhee, N.C.), but Doeren's teams have a history of starting slow and finishing 8-5. Still, Tennessee is going to smash them if McCall can't get on the same page as his wideouts and Jordan Waters doesn't learn how to block.

Colorado @ Nebraska (7:30/6:30 NBC)
Time for Matt Rhule to do what NDSU couldn't - overcome Travis Hunter winning the game all by himself.

#20 Kansas @ Illinois (7/6 FS1)
Basketball school fight! Liepold vs. Bielema is a fun coaching matchup. 

-

App State @ #22 Clemson (8/7 ACCN)
Massive hangover game potential for Dabo Swinney's crew of godly kids from good families.

Mississippi State @ Arizona State (10:30/9:30 ESPN)
It's Power 4 football, you'll be tired and drunk or a little hungover already, let the Mouse lull you to sleep.

Utah State @ #14 USC (11/10 BTN)
A hangover game for the opposite reason. Another feisty G5 from the mountains plays a P4 who had a big game last weekend at an 8pm local kick.
 

 

The Michigan helmet is not original-- it was copied from Princeton. Bevo, our helmets, the Hook'em Horns, etc are ours.

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2 hours ago, Magus Ossis said:

 

 

The Michigan helmet is not original-- it was copied from Princeton. Bevo, our helmets, the Hook'em Horns, etc are ours.

I'm afraid there's prior art for the Bevo logo too, sadly

Spoiler

image.thumb.jpeg.dd738d291ecf8d67e7132305c04d1a6f.jpeg

 

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8 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Good lord. Tasing scrotums, eating their own shit, what on earth is happening with these idiotic CFB fans? Why can’t people just stick with shitting objects made of gold and setting random other bulletin board posters on fire?

Kids these days with no taste for the classics. 

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15 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

This is the best description of this stupid fucking game I've ever seen.  I hate it so god damn much, and it's worse this year because I'm a single parent for the weekend and have to do dumb things like "be sober" and "keep a small helpless human alive" and "be an attentive loving parent", when all I'll really want to do is get drunk in my garage and break my lawn chairs before I build a fire in the backyard and stare at it while listening to Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt" on repeat, only to wake up with a headache on Sunday and say something stupid like "maybe the Vikings will save my weekend".

791d4012-86ee-4c04-a769-b6d56b17f4c3_tex

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58 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Good lord. Tasing scrotums, eating their own shit, what on earth is happening with these idiotic CFB fans? Why can’t people just stick with shitting objects made of gold and setting random other bulletin board posters on fire?

Considering the spread I think that dude genuinely likes the taste of his own scrote.

edit: I thought it said taste, lol

Edited by 'stache
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16 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

This is the best description of this stupid fucking game I've ever seen.  I hate it so god damn much, and it's worse this year because I'm a single parent for the weekend and have to do dumb things like "be sober" and "keep a small helpless human alive" and "be an attentive loving parent", when all I'll really want to do is get drunk in my garage and break my lawn chairs before I build a fire in the backyard and stare at it while listening to Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt" on repeat, only to wake up with a headache on Sunday and say something stupid like "maybe the Vikings will save my weekend".

Now imagine it's a conference game, and they're a historic blueblood with multiple national championships and Heismans, and its the last game of the season, and the weird shit often costs you a conference title. Welcome to Bedlam 2012 to 2020. We lost a conference title to a fake field goal during an ice storm one year. A tight end playing QB also took one from us in OT. I'm in the minority which will truly miss the annual game, but a part of me is also truly relieved that the anxiety of that week will no longer be a thing. Also, fuck them kids, I've had to solo from time to time and mine know that if daddy's screaming in his back room on a Saturday, its because of football, and they can feed themselves.

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2 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Now imagine it's a conference game, and they're a historic blueblood with multiple national championships and Heismans, and its the last game of the season, and the weird shit often costs you a conference title. Welcome to Bedlam 2012 to 2020. We lost a conference title to a fake field goal during an ice storm one year. A tight end playing QB also took one from us in OT. I'm in the minority which will truly miss the annual game, but a part of me is also truly relieved that the anxiety of that week will no longer be a thing. Also, fuck them kids, I've had to solo from time to time and mine know that if daddy's screaming in his back room on a Saturday, its because of football, and they can feed themselves.

Mine's still 13 months.

Plan though is to watch the game at a friend's house across town where there's a mix of kids her age, as well as some of their older siblings (3rd gradeish) who love playing with my daughter when we hang out, but aren't quite old enough for unsupervised sitting.  I'll just have to handle the mid-game diapers, and getting her some food off the pot luck line that she'll inevitably throw on the floor of my buddy's garage, or out in his yard for the dogs.

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On 9/3/2024 at 1:14 PM, BigHornedLurker said:

call me crazy, i think Boise vs Oregon could be a fun spoiler. Oregon did not look up to their bar, and struggled a good portion of their game. 

If they stall early again, Boise has a chance to do something real funny 

I totally agree. I'm a huge UO fan but everything is cyclical, or as MM say, "Time is a flat circle". I think UO falls off and they start that but losing this game.

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16 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Mine's still 13 months.

Plan though is to watch the game at a friend's house across town where there's a mix of kids her age, as well as some of their older siblings (3rd gradeish) who love playing with my daughter when we hang out, but aren't quite old enough for unsupervised sitting.  I'll just have to handle the mid-game diapers, and getting her some food off the pot luck line that she'll inevitably throw on the floor of my buddy's garage, or out in his yard for the dogs.

I remember those days, just bustin' your balls. For the record, I think you all pull it out this year.

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18 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I remember those days, just bustin' your balls. For the record, I think you all pull it out this year.

It comes down to how badly Matt Campbell wants to try and beat Kirk Ferentz at his own game.

If we run a similar game plan to what we ran against you guys last year, we'll win.  If we run the game plan we've run against them every year for the last 6-7 years, not a chance in hell.

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On 9/3/2024 at 11:46 AM, texifornia said:

BYU @ SMU (7/6 ESPN2)
BYU fans can't wait to finally fire Sitake. SMU looked really bad in Reno. One of the most sedate home crowds in football. GET EXCITED FOR SOME P4 ACTION!

 

Not quite there, yet, but patience is wearing very thin. Another losing season and then yes. Especially when we look at what our new hire mens bball coach has done in a few short months to level up, the mediocrity of the football program lately looks even worse. 

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2 hours ago, Crockett said:

Not quite there, yet, but patience is wearing very thin. Another losing season and then yes. Especially when we look at what our new hire mens bball coach has done in a few short months to level up, the mediocrity of the football program lately looks even worse. 

One of my best friends is a diehard BYU fan from St. George, so was in large part going off of him. He wanted Sitake's head last offseason - thinks he's a mental potato.

Edited by texifornia
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7 hours ago, 'stache said:

Considering the spread I think that dude genuinely likes the taste of his own scrote.

edit: I thought it said taste, lol

I did too and I’ve yet to met a guy who wouldn’t admit if he could reach his dick with his mouth he’d lick it like a dog, so I was confused until I saw he said taze.

just bet cash weirdo. 

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1 hour ago, texifornia said:

 

One of my best friends is a diehard BYU fan from St. George, so was in large part going off of him. He wanted Sitake's head last offseason - thinks he's a mental potato.

Oh there are some that want Sitake gone, like your friend, but still a minority. Much bigger group that is not far from that POV, though. One more losing season and the seat will be very hot for Sitake. 

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1 hour ago, cmontexas said:

I remember asking like 3 years ago if BYU could fire their shitty coach or do they gotta wait. And here we still are

Our coaching pool is limited, and you shouldn't get rid of someone if you don't have a short list of realistic and better replacements identified, so Sitake may get extra rope just for that reason. 

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2 minutes ago, texifornia said:

@Al_4_ISU what is this

 

Something that needs to be scrubbed from the internet forever.

About 10-15 years ago, someone convinced a bunch of fairly nice mid-sized Midwestern cities that they needed to make the absolute cheesiest (yet unfortunately sincere) promo videos imaginable.  Reinforce every stereotype about people in the middle of the country being out of touch rubes as you can in a 3 minute segment.  The same people had a hand in this monstrosity:

 

I will say this:  that tap water can cure hangovers.  Shit you not.

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1 hour ago, texifornia said:

 

This guy has forever become known as "Hawkeyes On My Belly".  One of the crucial points of debate in the Iowa/ISU rivalry, is that most ISU fans actually went to school there (why else would you would actively subject yourself to this torture?) and are relatively upwardly mobile productive citizens.  Drive through a trailer court, and you won't see any Cyclone flags.  You will see plenty of Hawkeye gear.  HOMB is the living, breathing, embodiment of every conceit ISU fans hold towards Iowa fans.

This is his house:

6.0.jpg

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I hate that OSU-Arky got the ABC spot but is up against UT-Michigan. Ratings will be terrible for our game. We should have gotten the 2:30 spot instead of Baylor-Utah (which I think is being recorded as  a non-conference game due to pre-realignment contracts). 

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4 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I hate that OSU-Arky got the ABC spot but is up against UT-Michigan. Ratings will be terrible for our game. We should have gotten the 2:30 spot instead of Baylor-Utah (which I think is being recorded as  a non-conference game due to pre-realignment contracts). 

Gotta set up at least 2 screens tomorrow.  Both games should be interesting...  

Good luck cowboys... 

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1 hour ago, 'stache said:

I hate that OSU-Arky got the ABC spot but is up against UT-Michigan. Ratings will be terrible for our game. We should have gotten the 2:30 spot instead of Baylor-Utah (which I think is being recorded as  a non-conference game due to pre-realignment contracts). 

I’m not a network executive, but why would anyone make that choice? Put Baylor-Utah against Texas and no one would notice. I’d actually like to watch the Oklahoma State game, but it’s not happening in that time slot. 

Is it contractually driven somehow?

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